My first proper date with a Thai girl - What's your thoughts?

[ScarpoFongness4U]

Why hasn't anyone told this guy that at 35, she is nearing retirement and, is seeking a pension?

and if a THAI girl tells a foreigner he's fat he's gotta be seriously fat.

If she sees you again, it's because she smells fear, like a shark smells blood.

honestly the last non prostitute I was with was 30 years old, 5'4" 100 lbs

I can't count how many times she told me she was too old and too fat and was worried about getting old and being broke

and this was a girl who really was a nice Thai girl I have worked in the finance business made 60,000 to 80,000 baht a month and live with her parents

[ianf]

Sensible girl. Gave you some very good advice.

[chiman]

Play the field for 2-3 years and then make decisions

[ronthai]

Best of luck, wish you all the happiness together and many babies and grandkids.

Just don't ever say you weren't warned about Thai/Farang relationships, if it goes south (or north, east, west. Wherever you keep the money)

[terminatorchiangmai]

Go on a second ate and give her 3 breezers that should do the trick.

[HooHaa]

The fact she is being "sponsored" by her sister and has positioned herself in Pattaya and learning English suggests she is on a "fishing expedition" to find a "ferang" husband etc and you have taken the bait.

She is on a mission, not saying that's good or bad, just saying how I see it.

And what about the fact that he is in pattaya looking for thai women?

is he not on a "mission" as well?

[recom273]

A long time ago I dated a karaoke girl who said she just worked their for drinks and didn't go out the back with the customers.

I found out the hard way. She was great, she used to pay for the occasional meal and she had a new bike on tick.

When the penny dropped, I went back to my Thai friends who beat me around the head - "how did you think she had money for a new bike ?" and "how did you think she had money to buy you dinner ?" They called me a cock and I put the whole thing down to experience. I asked why my friends never told me, the answer was "you would never have believed us, you would have ended up hating us and besides you were having fun"

I would say, girls with no parents and education can't pay the huge sum of money for braces, they don't need to study English in pattaya - they can do it in Chang Mai - have a think about it.

Why does she need to prove she's a student to you ?

Don't give up on the dating sites tho' - I had great fun in Bangkok, I met some pretty cool girls, who did have good office jobs and paid their way at the start of the month. If you want some advice, if you give up smoking now, your home run ratio will improve.

[realenglish1]

All is normal My wife of seven years has had braces for 2 years now so nothing unusual about that A lot of parents cannot afford then so girls wait till they are earning

money and get them for them selves Its a status symbol here in Thailand

If you can afford them then you must have money or a good job. But here it sounds like she has many benefactors Be Carefull

I always look sideways at any girl that lives in Pattaya

Edited May 5, 2015 by realenglish1

[asdecas]

You have a gut at fifteen?

[TheKnave]

I would have made a quick exit as the spoon feeding started...........You ever see a Thai bird "feed" a Thai bloke...?

Anyone else remember the no-hands restaurants in Bangkok? Galaxy was the one I went to, back in the good old days, on Rama 4...

Nice to see old customs reappearing, even if the latecomers get all sick and nervous over it ?

I have a good Thai friend who married a Burmese girl whom he met in Chiang Mai. She was doing what she needed to do to survive, and he fell in love with her. She is one of the nicest women I know in Thailand, and they have been together over 10 years now, three kids, and a really nice life together.

Always trying to fix me up with her sister, until my wife said, "No, honey..." I know where my bread is buttered...

[2probedeep]

The only thing that would concern me is, why did she go to Pattaya(Sex Capital) to learn English when she is living in Chiang Mai with many good English schools

[green job]

Why hasn't anyone told this guy that at 35, she is nearing retirement and, is seeking a pension?

and if a THAI girl tells a foreigner he's fat he's gotta be seriously fat.

If she sees you again, it's because she smells fear, like a shark smells blood.

honestly the last non prostitute I was with was 30 years old, 5'4" 100 lbs

I can't count how many times she told me she was too old and too fat and was worried about getting old and being broke

and this was a girl who really was a nice Thai girl I have worked in the finance business made 60,000 to 80,000 baht a month and live with her parents

you read some bias crap on here at times, actually most of the time, but that one really takes the biscuit !!

So there isn't a thai girl among the 50,000,000 of them, that is over 30 and not a prostitute ?

Utter utter s h i t e !

He did not say that,

[Andrew65]

I would have made a quick exit as the spoon feeding started...........You ever see a Thai bird "feed" a Thai bloke...?

....the really disconcerting bit is when they start insisting that you wear a diaper/nappy

[Graemej100]

Well, if you decide to give her the flick, I'd be happy to make contact there.

I have to say that coming here to Pattaya to learn English does seem a bit strange. I lived in CM for a year and there are some really good Englisg language schools up there. Possibly/probably better than here in Pattaya. Who'd know. Sure as hell you would not, especially on the first date.

But, as I said, I'd make contact. What name does she go under and on what site?

[brewsterbudgen]

What are you looking for? If it's sex, there are far easier and quicker ways to get it. If it's a wife or serious relationship I wouldn't rely on internet dating.

Don't listen to this guy I met my g/f on a dating site and she is a real jewel. They are there but you must shift through the chaff. The good the bad and the ugly are there but then finding the right lady is no cake walk anywhere. There was a lot of negotiating with my g/f and me before we settled in together and this is common for here. Ladies want to know what they are getting and security is number one. I am much older than her and asked her why me an older man. She stated " The problem with a younger man is after you make a commitment they soon tire of you and look for greener pastures and kick you to the curb" We have been together for over 3 yrs. now never regretted it.

I never said you couldn't find a Thai partner through internet dating, I was just warning the OP not to rely on it. Many guys have also found successful relationships with bargirls, but I wouldn't rely on that either.

[sanuk711]

Ahh the internet.....how did we ever solve life's (love's) problems before we could get advice from the great unwashed......

.

Dear Amy My Girlfriend says that I never solve my own problems..............How do I prove her wrong?..........

[malt25]

The fact she is being "sponsored" by her sister and has positioned herself in Pattaya and learning English suggests she is on a "fishing expedition" to find a "ferang" husband etc and you have taken the bait.

She is on a mission, not saying that's good or bad, just saying how I see it.

Have to agree with Charlie on this one. There's probably more, and better schools in Chiang Mai than in Pattaya. I've found most genuine Thai girls, women, think Pattaya is a big no no area.

Like Charlie said, just saying how I see it.

[Andrew65]

I had a Thai lady a few years ago, also met her on a dating website.

Very attractive, pleasant personality, very high-paying job too, (In an expensive restaurant she would insist on paying the bill!).

However, kissing/holding hands in public etc strictly off limits.

Anyway, it lasted a month or so, turned out that right from the start she was seeing someone else (he picked up her phone one day when I called).

And there was naiive me figuring that if I have a non-hooker, she won't be cheating!

She too had problems with smoking (I gave up for a while), drinking, (I drank so much vodka & orange that I almost permanently had the trots!)

Worth the trouble, above having a bargirl? - highly-debateable!

Edited May 5, 2015 by Andrew65

[duckmandon]

I am sure you know what a fishing lure is....It is something that is not "real" but catches fish.............

Exactly. This is what was a bit concerning like it was too nice to be real.

I have read all the horror stories and have read the countless encounters by people on this forum

and because of it my guard is constantly up.

I would just hate to think that because so many people have been burnt, we pass up a good opportunity because we have become cynical and overly suspicious.

At the same time I ask myself "Why can't she be genuine? Am I making her to be less genuine because she seems too good to be real?"

Thai girls are no different from any other western girl in the sense that they all want stability, a family a home.

Is there any one girl alive that does not set off alarm bells when we meet them?

Too successful, too pretty, too guarded, too friendly, too interested.

I wish I was this cautious before meeting my ex wife though lol.

There are a few others that I been chatting to as well,

I have been trying to find the educated and employed girls although one girl who is a bank call center manager told me that the minute she finds a boyfriend she wants to stop working and I was like noooooooooooooo!

I met a girl on a dating site about 6 & a Half years ago. I came to Thailand to have a holiday & catch up with her. We hit it off straight away & yes they do feed you (mine does occasionaly) because they look after their man. We have been Married this October for 6 years. We live in Chiang Mai so maybe its the northern culture. Sounds like she would like to see you again. Good luck & enjoy her company.

[TheFishman1]

Free lancer offering to pay well where do u think she gets her money from? She playing you

[bbbbooboo]

Ummmm.....if it seems to be too good to be true then it usually is.....has universal applicability i suggest

[No Apologist]

To be honest, OP - nice girl or not - 'get exercise, stop smoking then come to see me'

- do you really need a translation for that statement?

I've been in Thailand for 5 years - I'm out of shape, and smoke - and she was about as honest and direct as a Thai girl (Thai culture) is going to be with you.

It's your job now, as a sane fellow, to take that statement for what it is, and - unless you can transform yourself overnight - move on.

Believe me, OP - this is Thailand, and a) people almost never say what they mean directly (that's unusually harsh as it is) - and b ) this is THAILAND!

There are 10 zillion nice girls out there, and SOME of them (not all, but enough) will like you for exactly who you are. And around those few people, are a million others who compliment you, and tell you how great you are, because it's the CULTURE to do that. It's not 'scamming', it's a tradition. Thai's never speak in the negative!

And, surprise OP, some of them will have sex with you for money. Others will lavish you with praise, and pretend like they'll have sex with you, first, to detemine how much money you have. But, she literally told you she's not attracted to you. She said that. NOW...if you can't wise up fast enough, and be honest with yourself...then you'll end up being one of the bitter old guys here, who write about how 'evil' Thai women are. It's more like, how 'poor' Thai women are, actually; and how arrogant western guys can be, not bothering to learn about the place they come to, before expecting true love at first sight.

JUST HANG OUT a while! The reason you're confused, is because you haven't spent any time learning the culture first! I'm not insulting you, but I promise, if you take a while to just learn about Thailand first, it will still be major confusing, but at least you're not walking around with a bullseye on you.

HANG OUT WITHOUT AN AGENDA! Learn things about the culture (different). Learn how Thais use body language (different), learn what things they look for in social gatherings (different), learn how they date and what they mean when they say other things (different).

The WORST that will happen, that way, is that you'll see amazing interesting things! The worst that will happen, if you're expecting true love for just showing up, is pretty bad. So please, take my advice about this, and CHILL. Perhaps you won't meet the girl of your dreams. Don't cheat yourself out of an experience like Thailand, with a million expectations.

Edited May 5, 2015 by No Apologist

[Andrew65]

I had a Thai lady a few years ago, also met her on a dating website.

Very attractive, pleasant personality, very high-paying job too, (In an expensive restaurant she would insist on paying the bill!).

However, kissing/holding hands in public etc strictly off limits.

Anyway, it lasted a month or so, turned out that right from the start she was seeing someone else (he picked up her phone one day when I called).

And there was naiive me figuring that if I have a non-hooker, she won't be cheating!

She too had problems with smoking (I gave up for a while), drinking, (I drank so much vodka & orange that I almost permanently had the trots!)

Worth the trouble, above having a bargirl? - highly-debateable!

Co-incidentally, this one wore braces too!

[diginomad]

Wow - some really good feedback.
Some really solid advice from a number of people and I thank you guys for that.

Worst case scenario is that I have a benchmark to work with when it comes to meeting other girls.
on the plus side, she did make me feel warm and welcome and was quite a cheerful, fun girl to be around, but some of the negatives need to be taken into consideration too.

I do however find it strange that 2 people thought my post was a troll post and 1 guy wants to connect with this girl - lol

Have a great day in Sunny Thailand folks! and thanks again for all the feedback, it is very much appreciated :-)

[Dannyboy666]

I'm sure she saw some western movie and they fed each other at dinner and she thinks this is romantic, as for the Braces it's a Fashion Statement in Thailand, Most are Fake

[billphillips]

Just some thoughts on your encounter .......

The feeding thing is common enough and as far as I know their is no underlying motive.

The tooth brace is as much of a fashion item as a necessity for some of the girls but at 35 ... hardly a girl.

The most interesting item you mentioned was that she came from CM to Pattaya to learn English. I wonder why, their are many places in CM to do exactly that without the need for an expensive relocation. How was her spoken and more importantly written English by the way?

The parents have passed away, that's unfortunate. I wonder how or who is financing her expensive educational and residential requirements. At least their wont be any family expenses or payouts for you to make.

The no sex thing is, to say the least, a little unusual in Pattaya or even Thailand but it could well be a good indicator at to her hidden charms. It could also indicate an ongoing or an untimely std eruption. It could also be that she doesn't like to engage in that particular pastime with you or anyone.

I wish you luck in the future but from the details in the OP it would seem to me that you have as many questions as you have answers. Take care and check / question everything that you are told. This is the land of untruths, it's completely acceptable in the local culture to construct any kind of elaborate or fantasy story for an individual's benefit or face saving. That's not to say that it applies to everyone though.

[No Apologist]

Wow - some really good feedback.

Some really solid advice from a number of people and I thank you guys for that.

Worst case scenario is that I have a benchmark to work with when it comes to meeting other girls.

on the plus side, she did make me feel warm and welcome and was quite a cheerful, fun girl to be around, but some of the negatives need to be taken into consideration too.

I do however find it strange that 2 people thought my post was a troll post and 1 guy wants to connect with this girl - lol

Have a great day in Sunny Thailand folks! and thanks again for all the feedback, it is very much appreciated :-)

You know what it sounds like? It sounds - pretty obviously - like the only reason you came to Thailand, was hoping that some woman would like you.

I'm sorry, but that's how it sounds...no mention of anything else in your posts, about an entirely new culture. You have horse-blinders on, to the extreme.

It's not that you'd be the first. But, I can't think of anything a woman (worth meeting) would respect less than that.

Respect yourself more, to begin with. Women in Thailand can spot that desperation in a heartbeat, and you're setting yourself up bad - not just with this woman, but all of them.

Edited May 5, 2015 by No Apologist

[SOTIRIOS]

...you are being 'claimed'....

[smotherb]

No offence fella, but all smokers smell, they just don't know it. Adding smelly stuff doesn't make the smell go away the smoker just smells like they are doing the walk of shame.

Point taken :-)

People who wear cologne, or perfume, often wear too much, and that too smells. Recently, at a five star restaurant, the waiter had on such a strong smell of cologne that you could not even smell the food as it arrived--I told him and asked for another waiter, he became offended, the manager came over, I explained, we got another waiter.

[neeray]

Lost interest in the first few words, on a dating site, did it for me. Remember they are at work

I totally disagree with this opinion about dating sites.

I joined TF before my first Thai trip expecting to meet ZERO, like I had on white sites in Canada. I met hundreds of what even now I would consider as upstanding Thai females in the course of 3 months. I narrowed this down to a handful and then to one. We corresponded heavily and got to know each other. Then we spent the most pleasant 4 weeks of my life together (and I'm not just talking about great sex either). Like the OP, I was a bit taken aback by the attentiveness (but she did not feed me). If I went to reach for something, suddenly I realized it was already in front of me. I could do without the genitalia washing and crack of my butt washing but hey, who am I to complain ? ........ welcome to Thailand.

Like the OP, I had questions in my head about her sincerity but a per cent at a time as I got to know her, the trust level has raised to 99%. Extreme communications in digital media plus a month of living together as husband and wife will eventually tell a partner all he wants to know. By listening and reading between the lines, much truth will be learned.

We are now engaged. I have been asked for nothing and don't expect I ever will be.

I must add, I did not go onto a dating site looking for a wife. But if I had been looking for a wife, knowing what I know now, I would take the very same route.