Tatsujin Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Shit happens. One of my best pals in school and our star athlete, returned to the school as a teacher. He had an affair with a student and was caught. It was consensual. I would never call him a pedophile. I agree, there is a sort of blank spot in the categorisation system for all this. The difference in maturity between a 15 or 16 year old child varies from person to person, and while this consensual sex may well be misguided and foolish, and exploited by the adult, it is not the same as what I consider 'paedophilia' which is the rape of a young child, often in organised groups, and often with a desire to inflict lasting fear and pain. I think this particular case in the OP was treated differently because of the possible abduction angle, they ran away and so it was initially viewed as a possible abduction. I do agree there needs to be more careful language used in describing these cases, the word 'paedophilia' occupies an enormous spectrum of crimes which range from misguided love affairs with 15 year olds, all the way to extremely well-organised rape/torture groups who target small children, often within orphanages / children's homes etc. The difference across the spectrum is so huge, great care needs to be taken when labelling people paedophiles. Years ago, this wouldn't have been an "abduction", it would have been 2 x lovers "eloping" ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petchou Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Shit happens. One of my best pals in school and our star athlete, returned to the school as a teacher. He had an affair with a student and was caught. It was consensual. I would never call him a pedophile. Having an affair with a minor under your authority is a crime, with a minor is pedophilia period. Don't try to find him reasons, if you think this way I would keep an eye on you in presence of kids too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
car720 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Shit happens. One of my best pals in school and our star athlete, returned to the school as a teacher. He had an affair with a student and was caught. It was consensual. I would never call him a pedophile. Same thing happened to a neighbor's son in Texas. Still, he's on the registered sex offender list and every time someone new moves into the neighborhood, his name and address comes up. Same thing whenever he applies for a job. He is actually a friend of my niece, and apparently a decent guy who just screwed up. The age difference was less than 1/2 the age difference between me and my main squeeze. Kind of scary... I met my 4th wife in China when I was 57 and working as a teacher. She was 24 and she asked me to marry her which I did and we lived with her parents. Does that make me a pedophile?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zeichen Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 I just wish that all jobs in Thailand required a criminal background check. Personally, I think anyone that gets an extension to their visa should also require a national criminal background check from their home country in order to stay here. Anything above a speeding ticket and you are out. I imagine there would be a vacuum of expats here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quandow Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 About five years ago, there was a guy just outside the gate of the school I was working at acting "dodgy" towards students as they left the school grounds. When we reported it to the director, her instant reply was, "Did you offer him a job?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seastallion Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Shit happens. One of my best pals in school and our star athlete, returned to the school as a teacher. He had an affair with a student and was caught. It was consensual. I would never call him a pedophile. I agree, there is a sort of blank spot in the categorisation system for all this. The difference in maturity between a 15 or 16 year old child varies from person to person, and while this consensual sex may well be misguided and foolish, and exploited by the adult, it is not the same as what I consider 'paedophilia' which is the rape of a young child, often in organised groups, and often with a desire to inflict lasting fear and pain. I think this particular case in the OP was treated differently because of the possible abduction angle, they ran away and so it was initially viewed as a possible abduction. I do agree there needs to be more careful language used in describing these cases, the word 'paedophilia' occupies an enormous spectrum of crimes which range from misguided love affairs with 15 year olds, all the way to extremely well-organised rape/torture groups who target small children, often within orphanages / children's homes etc. The difference across the spectrum is so huge, great care needs to be taken when labelling people paedophiles. "Misguided"??? Rubbish! Anyone old enough to have become a teacher is too old to be falling in love with a 15 year old, and if it is not "love" it is deviance. I'll re-phrase that; Anyone old enough to be a teacher is deviant if he wants sex with a 15 year old, whether he "loves" her or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) Shit happens. One of my best pals in school and our star athlete, returned to the school as a teacher. He had an affair with a student and was caught. It was consensual. I would never call him a pedophile. I agree, there is a sort of blank spot in the categorisation system for all this. The difference in maturity between a 15 or 16 year old child varies from person to person, and while this consensual sex may well be misguided and foolish, and exploited by the adult, it is not the same as what I consider 'paedophilia' which is the rape of a young child, often in organised groups, and often with a desire to inflict lasting fear and pain. I think this particular case in the OP was treated differently because of the possible abduction angle, they ran away and so it was initially viewed as a possible abduction. I do agree there needs to be more careful language used in describing these cases, the word 'paedophilia' occupies an enormous spectrum of crimes which range from misguided love affairs with 15 year olds, all the way to extremely well-organised rape/torture groups who target small children, often within orphanages / children's homes etc. The difference across the spectrum is so huge, great care needs to be taken when labelling people paedophiles. Complete trash. School teachers are not hired so they can seduce my 14 or 15 year old children. You are one sick puppy. Anyone that abuses power that parents (who are mandated by government..to put their young children in school)....needs to be punished harshly. Sex offender...plain and simple...go to jail. You should know better. Shame, shame on you..for even implying that these pervs are any different. They are, in fact worse, because they wear the disguise of authority...to do their dirty deeds. Edited May 25, 2015 by slipperylobster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bander Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Let him teach but cut off his wiener first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcatcher Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Shit happens. One of my best pals in school and our star athlete, returned to the school as a teacher. He had an affair with a student and was caught. It was consensual. I would never call him a pedophile. Same thing happened to a neighbor's son in Texas. Still, he's on the registered sex offender list and every time someone new moves into the neighborhood, his name and address comes up. Same thing whenever he applies for a job. He is actually a friend of my niece, and apparently a decent guy who just screwed up. The age difference was less than 1/2 the age difference between me and my main squeeze. Kind of scary... I met my 4th wife in China when I was 57 and working as a teacher. She was 24 and she asked me to marry her which I did and we lived with her parents. Does that make me a pedophile?? I am surprised, that you, as a teacher, do not understand the meaning of "paedophile". "Pedophilia or paedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children, generally age 11 years or younger." Wikipedia. A 57 year old man marrying a 24 year old woman,hardly seems to fit the definition. However many old ladies in the U.K. might refer to you ,enviously, as "a dirty old man" ,a sentiment with which I personally disagree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toscano Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Irrespective of this man's past , finding a job teaching English in Thailand isn't easy . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwikeith Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Well they know his name, so lets hope they boot him out on the same plane he flies in on like they did to his mate gary G ! Thailand should not let him in, send him to Cambodia if he gets caught in a bad act he will never be let out or be the same again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcatcher Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Shit happens. One of my best pals in school and our star athlete, returned to the school as a teacher. He had an affair with a student and was caught. It was consensual. I would never call him a pedophile. "It was consensual." It is only paedophilia when the younger person is a minor, usually under 13. There also needs to be at least a five year difference between the prepubescent child and the older person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JAG Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 He is a white native speaker so he can teach......40000 baht for him....Wrong, on both counts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaamBaht Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Shit happens. One of my best pals in school and our star athlete, returned to the school as a teacher. He had an affair with a student and was caught. It was consensual. I would never call him a pedophile. yeah, he doesn't deserve the label but he doesn't deserve to teach. There are and should be professional standards that bar teachers cavorting with young people. Consent from a teen is not the same as consent from an adult. Consent from someone who is at your mercy for grades and discipline is no consent at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yunla Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) Years ago, this wouldn't have been an "abduction", it would have been 2 x lovers "eloping" ... I agree that some of these words are changing as society changes. On the eloping definition, I think you are right, but this is against a backdrop of intense media coverage of paedophilia and terrorism etc. There is a lot more cotton-wool being wrapped round kids in England today, in general. I'm from the 'seen-but-not-heard' era, where basically anything at all could happen to kids, especially kids in Northern England children's homes, where I was put after my Mum became unable to look after me. In that era and that region, we had to look at our shoes and not raise our eyes, we never talked unless spoken to etc. And we had corporal punishment for almost everything, so if a kid was hurt in some way by an adult, and they spoke about it, they would get hurt even more, by the cane etc. It was a gigantic void of silence back then, partly because of 'seen-but-not-heard' culture, but also because society still didn't feel comfortable even accepting that child-molesters existed. This can be charted by the changing definitions of paedophile, such as the wiki piece that has been posted in this thread. The original definitions were both bigoted and quaint. Paedophiles were gays and vice versa, this is of course wrong on every level, and more connected to the fact that it was a more homophobic era, gays had to hang around parks at night, which is of course furtive and suspicious, ergo they are nefarious child-molesters too. In the early days, paedophiles were seen as being in love with a child, they were the uncle bringing bunches of roses to a 6-year old kid. Paedophiles saw children as little adults, and that it was possible for normal true-love romance. The classic "mental illness" paedophilia is that the adult does not understand they are hurting the child. This changed gradually into "they have sexual desire for children" such as in the wiki quoted earlier by other posters. I think the spectrum of paedophilia is truly huge, with many clear groups and subgroups, and there really is a small group of people bringing roses to kids and thinking it is real romance, nothing wrong and nobody hurt. A larger group is the 'sexually attracted to' group (wiki definition), they know it isn't romance, and that it is wrong, but they have urges anyway. But the most alarming thing I found was the potential size of the final group, the ones who are not exclusively or even slightly turned on by kids, but get their thrills from inflicting pain and fear, some see it as exciting because society hates them for it, some see it as an act of desecration, on varying levels. My studies are also broken down into opportunistic, habitual, organised. These correspond with the three groups of attack types, and that the most dangerous group "organised" is filled with the pain/desecration type, where it is closer to torture than sex. And so far removed from the uncle with the roses and his belief that it is true love. The guy in the OP is not in any of those categories, based on all available evidence. He gets a huge thumbs-down from me because he corrupted his position as teacher, and for running away with a child of 15, which must have been deeply upsetting for her family and friends. I would not allow him to teach ever again if it was up to me, to be a teacher one must behave with the appropriate decorum and he did not, equals he is no teacher. But neither would I bracket him as paedophile, not on the 15 y/o schoolgirl incident anyway. Edited May 25, 2015 by Yunla Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Shit happens. One of my best pals in school and our star athlete, returned to the school as a teacher. He had an affair with a student and was caught. It was consensual. I would never call him a pedophile. "It was consensual." It is only paedophilia when the younger person is a minor, usually under 13. There also needs to be at least a five year difference between the prepubescent child and the older person. No. No difference between 12..13..14,,,15 Let's not justify it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zakk9 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Shit happens. One of my best pals in school and our star athlete, returned to the school as a teacher. He had an affair with a student and was caught. It was consensual. I would never call him a pedophile. "It was consensual." It is only paedophilia when the younger person is a minor, usually under 13. There also needs to be at least a five year difference between the prepubescent child and the older person. No. No difference between 12..13..14,,,15 Let's not justify it. So you would define all Thai men in their twenties with 15 year old girlfriends as pedophiles then? That's a rather broad definition, and it would certainly keep the police busy in this country if it were to be enforced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) Shit happens. One of my best pals in school and our star athlete, returned to the school as a teacher. He had an affair with a student and was caught. It was consensual. I would never call him a pedophile. "It was consensual." It is only paedophilia when the younger person is a minor, usually under 13. There also needs to be at least a five year difference between the prepubescent child and the older person. No. No difference between 12..13..14,,,15 Let's not justify it. So you would define all Thai men in their twenties with 15 year old girlfriends as pedophiles then? That's a rather broad definition, and it would certainly keep the police busy in this country if it were to be enforced. That is assinine. My daughter is 14... lets keep this in context and not bring in what other countries/religions/societies do. We are human beings, who love our children..and do not need pervs getting in their skivvies. I have a big problem dealing with pervs who cannot logically deal with the problem. 2 plus 2 equals 4. Bringing any other variable into a conversation on child abuse/neglect/sexual assault....is not going to wash. Edited May 25, 2015 by slipperylobster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonycan Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 He should fall down the stairs repeatedly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 He should fall down the stairs repeatedly With a nice shove...from behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonycan Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 He was in a possition of trust with minors he crossed the line . When someone is in a trust possition i expect them to hold thier bar above societies norm. And if that trust is abused punishment should set an example . Priest teacher cop judge councilors . Doctors ect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) He should fall down the stairs repeatedly With a nice shove...from behind. you got that right. pervs deserve no more regard than that. In prison...he would not get even that much courtesy. I might hand him a slick bar of soap, and lock the shower door while bubba and his gang make a tunnel to holland out of his backside. Edited May 25, 2015 by slipperylobster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brewsterbudgen Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Shit happens. One of my best pals in school and our star athlete, returned to the school as a teacher. He had an affair with a student and was caught. It was consensual. I would never call him a pedophile. Same thing happened to a neighbor's son in Texas. Still, he's on the registered sex offender list and every time someone new moves into the neighborhood, his name and address comes up. Same thing whenever he applies for a job. He is actually a friend of my niece, and apparently a decent guy who just screwed up. The age difference was less than 1/2 the age difference between me and my main squeeze. Kind of scary... I met my 4th wife in China when I was 57 and working as a teacher. She was 24 and she asked me to marry her which I did and we lived with her parents. Does that make me a pedophile?? No. It makes you lucky! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zakk9 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 No. No difference between 12..13..14,,,15 Let's not justify it. So you would define all Thai men in their twenties with 15 year old girlfriends as pedophiles then? That's a rather broad definition, and it would certainly keep the police busy in this country if it were to be enforced. That is assinine. My daughter is 14... lets keep this in context and not bring in what other countries/religions/societies do. We are human beings, who love our children..and do not need pervs getting in their skivvies. I have a big problem dealing with pervs who cannot logically deal with the problem. 2 plus 2 equals 4. Bringing any other variable into a conversation on child abuse/neglect/sexual assault....is not going to wash. What do you mean other countries? This is Thailand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slipperylobster Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) No. No difference between 12..13..14,,,15 Let's not justify it. So you would define all Thai men in their twenties with 15 year old girlfriends as pedophiles then? That's a rather broad definition, and it would certainly keep the police busy in this country if it were to be enforced. That is assinine. My daughter is 14... lets keep this in context and not bring in what other countries/religions/societies do. We are human beings, who love our children..and do not need pervs getting in their skivvies. I have a big problem dealing with pervs who cannot logically deal with the problem. 2 plus 2 equals 4. Bringing any other variable into a conversation on child abuse/neglect/sexual assault....is not going to wash. What do you mean other countries? This is Thailand. makes no difference.. Perv is british... don't need him here.... stay out. As an aside...I am freaking sick and tired of pervs coming here. I get that "suspicious look" from my friends and family, whenever we talk about why I stay in Thailand. My wife is 50...I am 60. However...the sickos that come here to perv out the children give all of us a bad name. Stay home. Edited May 25, 2015 by slipperylobster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerrysum Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Sex trade alive and well in Thailand..... But it is ok, guess they are qualified....... What a joke...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nobb Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Simple just castrate him if he wants to teach in Thailand. Maybe he will think twice about teaching in Thailand! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandalf12 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 they really need to castrate these sick bastards instead of letting them get close to more of their future victims, time to stop allowing any convicted mongrel teach in thailand. Put them to sleep. They are the scourge of humanity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandalf12 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 It is extremely unlikely but if I found he was teaching at my daughters school I think me and him would be having a few words and not the ones he would be "teaching" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny Adara Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) A very grey Area indeed - 15 years old over here is basically a consenting adult. Many thai families wouldnt even bat an eyelid when the same behaviour goes on here. In fact its normal here, and people have been marrying and having sex after the age of 15 or 16 since the beginning of time. However its illegal in the UK but they probably did love each other, she certainly wasnt exploited as she chose to do it. however she may well have exploited the teacher to get her payout and her name in the mirror. who knows! When i was in school in the UK - my best friend was 15 years old and she had a 25 year old boyfriend - also her parents completely allowed it to happen, they ended up living together, she got pregnant, they married, they lived happily ever after. Was he a pedo? absolutely not. he was a normal guy who respected her and treated her like an adult. which is why her parents accepted it. just sayin! Grey area at the age of 15 - girls Western generally mature a lot more.However i have seen thai 15 year olds here that look like 8 year olds and act like 5 year olds - thats feels wrong but to Thais seemingly not. 22 year olds all date 14 year old girls here, and it seems accepted. Edited May 25, 2015 by Jenny Adara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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