Why do you want to marry again?

[AlexRRR]

I pose a question to the guys who have been married at least one time before and now considering or are in the process of marrying a Thai woman.

Why?

I suspect the answer for many is there "in love" and doesn't love make us do some crazy things?

I married a Thai woman, by that time i didn't need to get married again but its something she wanted she had never been.

Didn't last but not for the reasons we often see in TV, experience now tells me your TGF may want even demand but will most often settle for "living together", yes there are quite a few modern thinking Thai women out there but its unlikely you will find them out in the villages.

For the men that want to take the girls back to there own country, at least in Au if you have lived with her for i would think one or two years and i guess that can be in any combination of places ( bringing her over on a tourist visa staying with her there in Thailand etc on a reasonably continuous basis) probley would qualify to bring her in as a defacto wife, I've met a Thai woman who had came in that way.

My experience is to keep them in there own country, better you move, especially if she has a good job and your in the throws of retirement, my ex was a journalist but with just passable english, the only job she could get was working in a thai kitchen, her english now is excellent but she still works in Thai restaurants on below min wages.

[samuibeachcomber]

"why do we want to get married again"..............cos we never learn from our mistakes!

[AlexRRR]

It's crazy isn't it?

It baffles me the number of blokes here who have been obvious, abject failures in every relationship they have ever had with a woman in the West, think it's all of a sudden going to get better marrying someone many years their junior from a totally different culture with whom they share no common ground agewise, linguistically or culturally; then wonder why they find themselves sitting scratching their head in their local booze shop in some godforsaken chicken infested dust bowl in Isaan, scratching their heads rooting around in their wallets for a few baht for a lukewarm Leo as their cronies (all in the same boat) mumble insincere words of comfort to them.

Of course it's never 'their' fault, usually the blame at the failure of their latest relationship will lie at the hands of the woman's money grabbing tendencies (because of course she married him for his charm and looks) or that of her family or Thailand and Thais in general....

The male ego is a funny thing which seems to go into super stellar meltdown over here especially so many in the middle/old aged basket cases one finds here (as I'm sure this thread will reveal in time) especially when they think it's a good idea to start churning out offspring who will be a similar age as their grand (or great grand) children are back in the West....

The mind boggles...

To keep it serious some of us wake up later than others, some never at all, me? yep no chance in hell again no matter what "she" wants.

Though many humans still have that romantic idea of love forever, and willing to take a chance again and it seems again and again....

A guy i once knew, good looking great job....3rd marriage ending within 2 months moved his secretary in....my jaw dropped, i mean the guy still had the residue of his ex still on him, the other side of his bed never got cold and this was in Australia no asian woman involved.

Edited June 13, 2015 by AlexRRR

[samuibeachcomber]

A guy i once knew, good looking, great job

Hardly fits the demographic of most of the 'expat' basket cases who get married over here, most of whom are the wrong side of 55, wrong side of 90kg on the scales, left their looks behind in 1975, and haven't had a job since the 1980s.

sounds like your talking about me!

[billd766]

It's crazy isn't it?

It baffles me the number of blokes here who have been obvious, abject failures in every relationship they have ever had with a woman in the West, think it's all of a sudden going to get better marrying someone many years their junior from a totally different culture with whom they share no common ground agewise, linguistically or culturally; then wonder why they find themselves sitting scratching their head in their local booze shop in some godforsaken chicken infested dust bowl in Isaan, scratching their heads rooting around in their wallets for a few baht for a lukewarm Leo as their cronies (all in the same boat) mumble insincere words of comfort to them.

Of course it's never 'their' fault, usually the blame at the failure of their latest relationship will lie at the hands of the woman's money grabbing tendencies (because of course she married him for his charm and looks) or that of her family or Thailand and Thais in general....

The male ego is a funny thing which seems to go into super stellar meltdown over here especially so many in the middle/old aged basket cases one finds here (as I'm sure this thread will reveal in time) especially when they think it's a good idea to start churning out offspring who will be a similar age as their grand (or great grand) children are back in the West....

The mind boggles...

I divorced my UK wife because the marriage was not working too well and it was about 95% my fault. We had a 21 year old son as well.

I wanted to marry my long term Thai girlfriend who I had known 6 years by then and we did marry in 2000 in the UK. Our son was born in 2004 when I was 60. It may not fit into your box very well but my Dad was 55 and my Mum was 39 was born. I am 21 years older than my Thai wife and my Dad was 15 years older than my Mum when they married on 26th December 1924.

One size does not fit all

Your description does not fit in most ways the 20 or so expat marriages that I know of personally mostly among engineers that I have worked with over the last 20 odd years. Only one of them lives in Issan, some live in Bangkok, Bang Saen, Udon Thani, Chiang Mai. Some even live in their home countries with their Thai wives, namely Germany, the UK and the USA. They are varying ages and nationalities and some have been married to the same Thai lady for over 20 years. In my case it has been 16 years of marriage the second time around with a 10 year old son. Many of them have children and many have been married before to wives from the West.

None of them are basket cases and none that I know of quote

"sit scratching their head in their local booze shop in some godforsaken chicken infested dust bowl in Isaan, scratching their heads rooting around in their wallets for a few baht for a lukewarm Leo as their cronies (all in the same boat) mumble insincere words of comfort to them."

Sorry to burst your balloon but what you speak about is definitely not true in most cases and certainly not in the case of myself and my friends. Of course this may not sit well with your bitter attitude but how many people that you so graphically describe do you know personally?

A guy i once knew, good looking, great job

Hardly fits the demographic of most of the 'expat' basket cases who get married over here, most of whom are the wrong side of 55, wrong side of 90kg on the scales, left their looks behind in 1975, and haven't had a job since the 1980s.

sounds like your talking about me!

Well it certainly describes me in part as I am 71, definitely the wrong side of 90kg, left most of my hair behind by the 1970s, still described as a hansum man by my wife who usually collapses in laughter after she says it. So do I.

As for not having a job since the 1980s I retired in 2009 after a 50 year working life.

That also dosn't fit BernardHalls demographic but of course I must be wrong as he is an expert on the subject, even if it is a self professed expert.

Edited June 13, 2015 by billd766

[gomangosteen]

Beyond me. Last month met an Englishman at the beach, never seen him before but i was seized upon to hear his tale of woe, married at 73, wife had soon moved out of house he bought, and at least (his words) her family had said he could stay in the house till his death

Oh well, I've heard such tales before. But his final line was the killer -

"i'd never have believed it could happen to me twice"

Yes, he was an old hand, having done the wedding, payment and house with his previous Thai wife.

There's still hope i guess, third time lucky?

[MaeJoMTB]

I wanted parental rights to my children.

And a marriage VISA extension.

[jumbo]

If at first you don't succeed, Try, try, try again.

William Edward Hickson (January 7, 1803 – March 22, 1870), commonly known as W. E. Hickson, was a British educational writer. He was the author of "Time and Faith" and was the editor of The Westminster Review (1840–1852). He wrote part of the Official Peace Version of the British national anthem, approved by the Privy Council, found in the 1925 edition of Songs of Praise and, with one line changed, in the 1933 edition.

So you don't agree with this learned scholar?? But need to find the reason why with others???

Edited June 13, 2015 by jumbo

[NickJ]

I met what I thought was a decent Thai girl. Her family were presses us to marry. She had a kid with her ex Thai bf. They had only lived together ..... I just kept saying no. The girl was very pretty. Turns ouf it was all about money. She told me one day she would leave unless I would marry her. I drove her to the van twenty min later.

I can still see the look on her face. I bought a new sim on. the way home.

Edited June 13, 2015 by NickJ

[billd766]

Oddly enough my Thai wife never asked me to marry her. We were staying at a friends place at Wiesbaden in Germany and I got down on one knee at midnight on December 31st 1999 and asked her to marry me. It was very romantic up until the time I had to be helped up and my knee and back had locked up. She thought that I was joking and started to laugh until she saw the look on my face. She still said yes though.

I had met her parents previously in Thailand but as far as I could understand they never pressed us to marry.

[MaeJoMTB]

I met what I thought was a decent Thai girl. Her family were presses us to marry. She had a kid with her ex Thai bf. They had only lived together ..... I just kept saying no. The girl was very pretty. Turns ouf it was all about money. She told me one day she would leave unless I would marry her. I drove her to the van twenty min later.

I can still see the look on her face. I bought a new sim on. the way home.

Can't have been all that decent if she lived with her bf, and had a baby without bothering to get married.

You need to apply common sense when you hear these stories.

[Jip99]

A guy i once knew, good looking, great job

Hardly fits the demographic of most of the 'expat' basket cases who get married over here, most of whom are the wrong side of 55, wrong side of 90kg on the scales, left their looks behind in 1975, and haven't had a job since the 1980s.

sounds like your talking about me!

That's a coincidence!

[Jip99]

Beyond me. Last month met an Englishman at the beach, never seen him before but i was seized upon to hear his tale of woe, married at 73, wife had soon moved out of house he bought, and at least (his words) her family had said he could stay in the house till his death

Oh well, I've heard such tales before. But his final line was the killer -

"i'd never have believed it could happen to me twice"

Yes, he was an old hand, having done the wedding, payment and house with his previous Thai wife.

There's still hope i guess, third time lucky?

I bet it cost him less than my two UK divorces!

[dotpoom]

Might manage to get the house back this time round

Edited June 13, 2015 by dotpoom

[hanssna]

To get back to the original question ;

I Marriend again because:

I have a lovely wife ( and a lovely family ) and marrying is costing me 5 x less money than it would cost me back 'home'. Because it delivers the family a lot of respect and win of face. Because the wedding party was a blast again, great fun with great people.

Because I live here and love Thai curture and an interesting wedding, a good reason to invite friends. And I like to see my loving wife happy.

Because after years of living together, I liked to help the family with some things, and a sin sod is the best way to do it.

And I love my marriage visum, most of all... no more 90 day runs to Ranong, and no more yearly visum trip ( and hassles paperwork and insecurity if I get the one year visum every year ).

[Mudcrab]

To get back to the original question ;

I Marriend again because:

I have a lovely wife ( and a lovely family ) and marrying is costing me 5 x less money than it would cost me back 'home'. Because it delivers the family a lot of respect and win of face. Because the wedding party was a blast again, great fun with great people.

Because I live here and love Thai curture and an interesting wedding, a good reason to invite friends. And I like to see my loving wife happy.

Because after years of living together, I liked to help the family with some things, and a sin sod is the best way to do it.

And I love my marriage visum, most of all... no more 90 day runs to Ranong, and no more yearly visum trip ( and hassles paperwork and insecurity if I get the one year visum every year ).

You mention a love of a lot of things...but not once do you mention your love for your wife......interesting.

[little mary sunshine]

They want to marry because at 60y/o the 28 y/o Thai Woman LOVES ME.....Now I

Can buy a house, car, motorbike all in her name, and come on to TV. And tell every-

one how terrible she was to throw my drunken a.. out on the street and TAKE all my

money....555555555555

[peterb17]

As ever - seems to revolve around money- ' need the house back' need the investment back' want my money back '

I am quite certain there are about 1% who have a fabulous marriage - why would anyone from the West ( probably after being totally shafted after a divorce) get married here.

No cultural capital - no shared life experiences, not sure you could sit down and discuss what you think of Anish Kapoor's lastest art work .

I just do not understand the obsession of getting married?

Just live together- oh no- family want you to get married- big money!

[NickJ]

There are quite a few well to do Thais that have a ceremony but dont get the official name change wedding. This is so they can keep ther money and assets seperated.

[elgordo38]

"why do we want to get married again"..............cos we never learn from our mistakes!

What is that old saying in baseball "three strikes and your out" Never take the Thai out of Thailand as it only takes about 6 mos. to adapt meet new nosy friends and have them tell her what her rights are in her new environment and realize they can leave you get welfare and sue you for income.

[nithisa78]

My answer would be why not?
It is Holy wedlock. Respected and required by every country in the civilized world. That you can access and attract other civilized and law abiding citizens into your life. Travel and live free. Or not. It is your choice.

The bitter need not apply. No sterotypes, please. free thinkers.

[nithisa78]

There are quite a few well to do Thais that have a ceremony but dont get the official name change wedding. This is so they can keep ther money and assets seperated.

in your world that is safe and intelligent for any person. Thai or not. It gets very crowded quickly in a small mind.

[elgordo38]

They want to marry because at 60y/o the 28 y/o Thai Woman LOVES ME.....Now I

Can buy a house, car, motorbike all in her name, and come on to TV. And tell every-

one how terrible she was to throw my drunken a.. out on the street and TAKE all my

money....555555555555

Kind of reminds me of the guy that wrote "Amazing Thailand"

[manfredtillmann]

ask myself the same thing...

about to pop the question on marriage #3, this time she'll be an issan girl, mother of 2.

#1, german woman, divorced after 16 years of marriage in oz, she took me to the cleaners, i lost everything but a few $. drove away with my life contents in a vw van.

#2, italian girl, divorced after 13 years, split 50/50, still cost me $1.2 mill. and sooooo many tears...

#3 will be from that phanom, she had never left the village until she met me.

have taken her back to oz a few times (still work there 4 months a year or so) but will never live there with her on a permanent basis.

good now in T, next time i divorce i will be too old to care

[vento]

Visa??? no wait, cheaper options Like EC exists thank god

[MaeJoMTB]

Visa??? no wait, cheaper options Like EC exists thank god

I've been here

Edited June 13, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[akentryan]

I do not want to marry again and will not do do under any set of circumstances.I also do not enjoy living alone. It is possible to find a younger lady that will live with you and take care of you by becoming a housekeeper/companion at a specified monthly rate of compensation. I am now 76 years old and was married to my Thai wife for 23 years before she succumbed to cancer in January. of this year at age 57. Two houses of course were in her name and in accordance with what my wife would have wanted went to two of her sisters with my absolute consent. They have been terrific in taking care of me for the last 5 months with daily stop-bys bringing food, doing housekeeping chores, laundry, etc. Would have been very difficult without them. I now have a 35-year old live-in that has been here all of 3 weeks but it looks like she might last. She now has health insurance for accidents, a bank account which she never had before, and a gym membership. She knows that she can make trips to see her 3-year old daughter in Nong Khai as as often as she likes. There is no expectation of love but I hope a mutual fondness and sense of caring develops both ways - so far, so good, kniock on wood. If she does last I will amend my last will and testament to compensate her for however long she has looked after me. Probably some factor of how long vs.hiow much a month. If the timing permits I will establish another banki account to handle the "separation" compensation. Can anyone think of anything else I should consider such as sending her to school to learn some kind of a trade that would provide some income after my demise? Constructive comments appreciated.

[Jimlove]

A guy i once knew, good looking, great job

Hardly fits the demographic of most of the 'expat' basket cases who get married over here, most of whom are the wrong side of 55, wrong side of 90kg on the scales, left their looks behind in 1975, and haven't had a job since the 1980s.

I guess it takes one to know one ...

[thailandforumaddict]

Even the first time, I still don't understand why they do it if it's not for money !

[little mary sunshine]

I do not want to marry again and will not do do under any set of circumstances.I also do not enjoy living alone. It is possible to find a younger lady that will live with you and take care of you by becoming a housekeeper/companion at a specified monthly rate of compensation. I am now 76 years old and was married to my Thai wife for 23 years before she succumbed to cancer in January. of this year at age 57. Two houses of course were in her name and in accordance with what my wife would have wanted went to two of her sisters with my absolute consent. They have been terrific in taking care of me for the last 5 months with daily stop-bys bringing food, doing housekeeping chores, laundry, etc. Would have been very difficult without them. I now have a 35-year old live-in that has been here all of 3 weeks but it looks like she might last. She now has health insurance for accidents, a bank account which she never had before, and a gym membership. She knows that she can make trips to see her 3-year old daughter in Nong Khai as as often as she likes. There is no expectation of love but I hope a mutual fondness and sense of caring develops both ways - so far, so good, kniock on wood. If she does last I will amend my last will and testament to compensate her for however long she has looked after me. Probably some factor of how long vs.hiow much a month. If the timing permits I will establish another banki account to handle the "separation" compensation. Can anyone think of anything else I should consider such as sending her to school to learn some kind of a trade that would provide some income after my demise? Constructive comments appreciated.[/quote