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How much to raise a child?


cheeryble

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We pensioners as you seem to so disparagingly but correctly refer to me and others of my vintage were and are able to spend all the long days with their kids.

How much time did you spend with yours ? Climbing the career ladder; leaving home before they woke up; getting home after they were in bed; knackered at weekends; struggling and arguing over finances; no time to swim every day after school; no time to help with homework.

.

I think it is YOU and not I that has to ask & question yourself

Your cocking your leg up the wrong tree there matey.

Just ask any child if they prefer a part time Dad, for a long time in their life.

Or a full time Dad, for a short time in their life.

That's one consideration you selfishly neglect when you have children at a late age.

Which is best? There is a lot of judgement here. Quality time should be the criteria whether that be for a short or a long time.

My Father died when I was 11.

The choice of 'quality time' together was taken away from both of us.

We didn't have a choice.

Starting a Family at Pensionable age, will also certainly increase the chances that you will also remove that choice of 'quality time' together from the child. I know the problems that child will face and how they will feel..

You fortunately have the right to that choice.

If you cannot fulfil the expectation to raise a child to an age where he can stand on his own two feet, then I think your actions and decisions are purely selfish and based on your own wants without any consideration to the future of the child you so seemingly want to bring into this world, knowing your departure could be around the corner.

No amount of money you leave as support, can replace the emotional support that child will loose.

Can I ask you if you feel sorry that your father brought you into this world or can you say that you honestly wish you was never born

What a stupid question! As if there was a choice ( by him)..he is right..he has actually experienced what it is like to lose a father infinitely more qualified than you.

What is it about a father for a short time or part time/ longer tie crap...there are many decent fathers out there who had children at a sensible age..I know many..and really good dads too ( here in Thailand)

Yet Look at some of the old fathers here..seem more inclined to prop up a bar and leave it to the wife..completely dysfunctional.

I did not ask him if he had a choice I ask if he wished he never been born

How many old fathers do you actually know or do you presume that all old men that prop up a bar are fathers of young children

But your whole premise is one of justification....I know some.. Know a lot more younger guys because of working here over the years....seen there children grow up..

Why raise this type of question in this forum topic..what is the relevance..regardless of who is or is not a good father..

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We pensioners as you seem to so disparagingly but correctly refer to me and others of my vintage were and are able to spend all the long days with their kids.

How much time did you spend with yours ? Climbing the career ladder; leaving home before they woke up; getting home after they were in bed; knackered at weekends; struggling and arguing over finances; no time to swim every day after school; no time to help with homework.

.

I think it is YOU and not I that has to ask & question yourself

Your cocking your leg up the wrong tree there matey.

Just ask any child if they prefer a part time Dad, for a long time in their life.

Or a full time Dad, for a short time in their life.

That's one consideration you selfishly neglect when you have children at a late age.

Which is best? There is a lot of judgement here. Quality time should be the criteria whether that be for a short or a long time.

My Father died when I was 11.

The choice of 'quality time' together was taken away from both of us.

We didn't have a choice.

Starting a Family at Pensionable age, will also certainly increase the chances that you will also remove that choice of 'quality time' together from the child. I know the problems that child will face and how they will feel..

You fortunately have the right to that choice.

If you cannot fulfil the expectation to raise a child to an age where he can stand on his own two feet, then I think your actions and decisions are purely selfish and based on your own wants without any consideration to the future of the child you so seemingly want to bring into this world, knowing your departure could be around the corner.

No amount of money you leave as support, can replace the emotional support that child will loose.

Can I ask you if you feel sorry that your father brought you into this world or can you say that you honestly wish you was never born

What a stupid question! As if there was a choice ( by him)..he is right..he has actually experienced what it is like to lose a father infinitely more qualified than you.

What is it about a father for a short time or part time/ longer tie crap...there are many decent fathers out there who had children at a sensible age..I know many..and really good dads too ( here in Thailand)

Yet Look at some of the old fathers here..seem more inclined to prop up a bar and leave it to the wife..completely dysfunctional.

I did not ask him if he had a choice I ask if he wished he never been born

How many old fathers do you actually know or do you presume that all old men that prop up a bar are fathers of young children

But your whole premise is one of justification....I know some.. Know a lot more younger guys because of working here over the years....seen their children grow up, some who have stayed here some who have returned to their home countries..

Why raise this type of question in this forum topic....

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Government is good all the way,

Tessabaan kindergarten from age 3, 2kbht entry, 1,800bht two terms a year, all food and uniforms included.

Junior school, books and uniforms about 3k/year, all food included.

High school, started at 5k/year now at 12k/year for the last couple of years.

University ...... not there yet.

Food and clothing, not that much, nappies and milk were the most expensive time, about 800bht/month for the first 3 years.

Hospital, free, the government maternity wards do an excellent job, yeah there's a bit of waiting around, but the mums and mums to be seem happy to sit and chat all day, drop off and collect.

Don't panic, it's all worthwhile.

Time and energy, I'm 60, my youngest is three, just about to take him to school, the teen drives herself.

I have plenty of time, much more than a young employed person.

Energy, I get up at 5am to cycle up Doi Suthep most mornings so mum does mornings, I do afternoons, we share evenings.

Another perspective is Private hospital for delivery with private room 35,000 baht, diapers and milk more like 3000 baht a month, just went to school we plan to have daughter attend P-1 price 50,000 per term and doesn't include uniforms. This is not a International School but rather they teach 50% in English and 50%Thai. All the baby shots were given at Private hospital not free clinic.

You say government is good all the way. I'd like to say if you have the money why not do it right. It all depends on what you want for the child.

Nestle Milk powder, 900gm for around 200bht, sold in 7-11, Tesco, Makro ........ how much milk can one kid consume?

All our vaccinations were free in government hospital.

OP asked how much did it cost?

Not how much can I spend if I have money to burn?

Daughter will be, doctor, pharmacist, government worker, schoolteacher of some sort in Thailand.

Son, too early to tell.

What do you want for your child?

What I listed is what we spent. It's just as relative to state what top quality formula costs as it is to say what the cheapest route is. International School runs about 30-40K a month or in that outragious neighborhood.

I'm torn between actress or the local somtam lady. Either is acceptable but I will give her all the choices I can afford. Having a good English skills is part of that.

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^^

I'm guessing you haven't spent any time in a western school since you left.

50 years ago stuff was different.

50 years ago? Way off, pal,

way off. I'm mid 40s with a

fine British, education at the

London Oratory School.

Looks like your parents wasted a lot of money.

They didn't teach you sentence construction, a very basic part of English language skills.

(or are you imagining you are Shakespeare?)

Edited by MaeJoMTB
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I think you have to ask yourself ( and other pensioners ... ) that if you were in your home country would you be thinking of having children at 66 years old? ( probably not..) so why because you are in Thailand are you thinking of doing it?????????

Farang Jaidee xwub.png

In the UK definitely, two kids gets you a guaranteed minimum income of 15,000GBP tax free (child tax credit), then another 60GBP a month in child benefit (until the kids are 19). Not to forget the free NHS card, free dentist, free eyeglasses, free milk.

All adding up go a nice little earner.

The UK is broke, there are too many people in the world anyway, paying people to have children only encourages the worst in society to reproduce. Hopefully that scam will be ending ( soon ).

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50 years ago? Way off, pal,

way off. I'm mid 40s with a

fine British, education at the

London Oratory School.

Looks like your parents wasted a lot of money.

They didn't teach you sentence construction, a very basic part of English language skills.

(or are you imagining you are Shakespeare?)

Poor MaeJo ! Weak attempt at

diverting attention from the fact

that even at his age, he's still

cocking life up. He's come to

Thailand, married a woman far

younger than him and sired a

child. Somewhat belatedly, it's

dawned on him that his pension

won't stretch to giving the child

a proper education so he enrols

the child in a state school

system that's widely recognised

as being one of the worst in

Asia and he actually has the

cheek to defend his "choice".

Myself and others are just trying

to stop the OP ending up like you.

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Old men have a much higher chance of fathering a handicapped child. As I have been involved with handicapped children I can state that if you father a handicapped child you will regret every day of the rest of your life.

Just don't.

Why is adoption not an option?

Edited by thaibeachlovers
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Old men have a much higher chance of fathering a handicapped child. As I have been involved with handicapped children I can state that if you father a handicapped child you will regret every day of the rest of your life.

Just don't.

Why is adoption not an option?

Why would a young woman want to adopt a baby if she is able to have one herself?

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50 years ago? Way off, pal,

way off. I'm mid 40s with a

fine British, education at the

London Oratory School.

Looks like your parents wasted a lot of money.

They didn't teach you sentence construction, a very basic part of English language skills.

(or are you imagining you are Shakespeare?)

Poor MaeJo ! Weak attempt at

diverting attention from the fact

that even at his age, he's still

cocking life up. He's come to

Thailand, married a woman far

younger than him and sired a

child. Somewhat belatedly, it's

dawned on him that his pension

won't stretch to giving the child

a proper education so he enrols

the child in a state school

system that's widely recognised

as being one of the worst in

Asia and he actually has the

cheek to defend his "choice".

Myself and others are just trying

to stop the OP ending up like you.

Both myself, my former wife and our four UK children were state school all the way.

Yet a guy like you, that was privately educated, can't even write complete sentences.

Not to mention working in a third rate country for peanuts ............

Anyway you're clearly some kind of nutjob, no point in any further discussion, quite frankly I can't be bothered to read your posts

On ignore now, please don't quote my posts in any of yours, then I can forget you exist.

Edited by MaeJoMTB
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Old men have a much higher chance of fathering a handicapped child. As I have been involved with handicapped children I can state that if you father a handicapped child you will regret every day of the rest of your life.

Just don't.

Why is adoption not an option?

Why would a young woman want to adopt a baby if she is able to have one herself?

Ordinarily, she wouldn't. She'd

find a good genetically-sound

male specimen to provide the

sperm and a nest and get

herself knocked up. The OP's

wife obviously doesn't have this

option (unless she ships out)

given the fact her husband is

old enough to be her father. At

least with adoption, she doesn't

risk a broken heart if she gives

birth to a handicapped child.

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50 years ago? Way off, pal,

way off. I'm mid 40s with a

fine British, education at the

London Oratory School.

Looks like your parents wasted a lot of money.

They didn't teach you sentence construction, a very basic part of English language skills.

(or are you imagining you are Shakespeare?)

Poor MaeJo ! Weak attempt at

diverting attention from the fact

that even at his age, he's still

cocking life up. He's come to

Thailand, married a woman far

younger than him and sired a

child. Somewhat belatedly, it's

dawned on him that his pension

won't stretch to giving the child

a proper education so he enrols

the child in a state school

system that's widely recognised

as being one of the worst in

Asia and he actually has the

cheek to defend his "choice".

Myself and others are just trying

to stop the OP ending up like you.

Both myself, my former wife and our four UK children were state school all the way.

Yet a guy like you, that was privately educated, can't even write complete sentences.

Not to mention working in a third rate country for peanuts ............

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Isn't it strange that no one

shares your opinion on my

alleged inability to construct

sentences? Maybe you're

dyslexic. Anyway, I've

obviously struck a nerve

about the parlous state of

your finances and, clearly,

you're growing more bitter

and personal with each post

so I'll leave you to champion

the Thai state education

system at your leisure and

your child's disadvantage.

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I think it is the height of irresponsibility and short sightedness to pop babies while father is in 60's, or older. Even if you happen to live til kid reaches maturity, can't really see geezers out there on cricket pitch, or baseball field showing kid how it's done. There is a reason most breeders are in their 20's: they have the time and energy for the long haul tasks. And it's not like there is any shortage of people on the planet....

Slam me all you like, but think of these guys next time someone bashes Thais for being stupid.

You correctly say that jounger fathers have the energy, but do they have the time? Considering that they have to go out and make a living, while the older father can provide All his time, plus not all older fathers are unfit.

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Old men have a much higher chance of fathering a handicapped child. As I have been involved with handicapped children I can state that if you father a handicapped child you will regret every day of the rest of your life.

Just don't.

Why is adoption not an option?

Why would a young woman want to adopt a baby if she is able to have one herself?

This thread isn't about young women, it's about an old man that is considering fathering a child. Start your own thread if you want to discuss young women and children.

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"As I have been involved with handicapped children I can state that if you father a handicapped child you will regret every day of the rest of your life."

As a 66-year old, I fathered a dwarf girl -- and it changed my life dramatically.

The mother and I rallied around the little kid. Studied books about dwarfism, and loved the little girl to pieces.

Today, the little dwarf girl (now 8) lives on her farm in Ubon with her mother, two sisters and 8 to 12 doggies, radiantly happy.

She's no burden. I love her dearly. She's a great joy of my life. The mother dotes on her too; loves her dearly.

Then, two years ago, an adult daughter of mine, was a 23-year old, rising, leading ballerina with a good ballet company. She stepped off the kerb in America, was slammed by a car and hovered between life and death for 3 months in intensive care. She lived but suffers from traumatic brain injury and aphasia. Couldn't talk. Couldn't walk (right leg). Couldn't use her right hand and arm.

We brought her out here to be treated by Thailand's great hospitals. Beginning with 1,2,3 which she knew, I taught her the numbers. Now she does addition, subtraction, up to three digits with carrying. Quite a come-down from co-valedictorian at her college, and doing calculus with her but a joy to see the progress.

My wife taught her to walk (with a limp). She's beginning to use her right arm. Can pick up something ultra light with her right hand. And more.

This guy who wrote the quote at the top is not cut out to be a father. If one wants to be a daddy, as opposed to a sperm donor, you have to be prepared to take the bad with the good.

Best wishes to all the other daddies of "handicapped" children. I love ours intensely. They're a blessing.

Gotta go now. Time for my (now 25 year old's) math lesson. Second grade, telling time.

Just having fun (in Bangkok, and lots of it)

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Old men have a much higher chance of fathering a handicapped child. As I have been involved with handicapped children I can state that if you father a handicapped child you will regret every day of the rest of your life.

Just don't.

Why is adoption not an option?

Why would a young woman want to adopt a baby if she is able to have one herself?

This thread isn't about young women, it's about an old man that is considering fathering a child. Start your own thread if you want to discuss young women and children.

I was assuming the "old man" who started this thread is contemplating having a child with a "young woman" who is of child bearing age and probably doesn't have any intention of adopting. So my post was entirely relevant to this thread.

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Old men have a much higher chance of fathering a handicapped child. As I have been involved with handicapped children I can state that if you father a handicapped child you will regret every day of the rest of your life.

Just don't.

Why is adoption not an option?

Why would a young woman want to adopt a baby if she is able to have one herself?
This thread isn't about young women, it's about an old man that is considering fathering a child. Start your own thread if you want to discuss young women and children.

I was assuming the "old man" who started this thread is contemplating having a child with a "young woman" who is of child bearing age and probably doesn't have any intention of adopting. So my post was entirely relevant to this thread.

Hugh Hefner is a big fan of viagra,does he still knock up playmates or playboy models on the playboy mansion no!Most move on and seek younger partners and have children .
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"As I have been involved with handicapped children I can state that if you father a handicapped child you will regret every day of the rest of your life."

As a 66-year old, I fathered a dwarf girl -- and it changed my life dramatically.

The mother and I rallied around the little kid. Studied books about dwarfism, and loved the little girl to pieces.

Today, the little dwarf girl (now 8) lives on her farm in Ubon with her mother, two sisters and 8 to 12 doggies, radiantly happy.

She's no burden. I love her dearly. She's a great joy of my life. The mother dotes on her too; loves her dearly.

Then, two years ago, an adult daughter of mine, was a 23-year old, rising, leading ballerina with a good ballet company. She stepped off the kerb in America, was slammed by a car and hovered between life and death for 3 months in intensive care. She lived but suffers from traumatic brain injury and aphasia. Couldn't talk. Couldn't walk (right leg). Couldn't use her right hand and arm.

We brought her out here to be treated by Thailand's great hospitals. Beginning with 1,2,3 which she knew, I taught her the numbers. Now she does addition, subtraction, up to three digits with carrying. Quite a come-down from co-valedictorian at her college, and doing calculus with her but a joy to see the progress.

My wife taught her to walk (with a limp). She's beginning to use her right arm. Can pick up something ultra light with her right hand. And more.

This guy who wrote the quote at the top is not cut out to be a father. If one wants to be a daddy, as opposed to a sperm donor, you have to be prepared to take the bad with the good.

Best wishes to all the other daddies of "handicapped" children. I love ours intensely. They're a blessing.

Gotta go now. Time for my (now 25 year old's) math lesson. Second grade, telling time.

Just having fun (in Bangkok, and lots of it)

Unbelievable story!

"I fathered a dwarf girl"........"The Mother and I rallied round the little kid"........."Today, the little dwarf girl (now 8) lives on her farm in Ubon with her mother, two sisters and 8 to 12 doggies, radiantly happy"

.

I find your terms of reference to your handicapped child lacking any sincerity. Not once do you refer to her as your 'daughter', and while she is living in Ubon with her Mother, 2 sisters, doggies and radiantly happy, your just having fun (in Bangkok and lots of it).

This guy who wrote the quote at the top is not cut out to be a father. If one wants to be a daddy, as opposed to a sperm donor, you have to be prepared to take the bad with the good.

Sounds like you bailed out on the moral support of your young disabled daughter, whilst your having so much fun in Bangkok.

How would you know if she is radiantly happy?

Then, two years ago, an adult daughter of mine, was a 23-year old, rising, leading ballerina with a good ballet company. She stepped off the kerb in America, was slammed by a car and hovered between life and death for 3 months in intensive care. She lived but suffers from traumatic brain injury and aphasia. Couldn't talk. Couldn't walk (right leg). Couldn't use her right hand and arm.

We brought her out here to be treated by Thailand's great hospitals. Beginning with 1,2,3 which she knew, I taught her the numbers. Now she does addition, subtraction, up to three digits with carrying. Quite a come-down from co-valedictorian at her college, and doing calculus with her but a joy to see the progress.

My wife taught her to walk (with a limp). She's beginning to use her right arm. Can pick up something ultra light with her right hand. And more

"We"......."Wife"...........just how many wives, relationships and children do you have.

Would this wife be the Mother of your 23 year old daughter, (Note this daughter wasn't born a dwarf, so no shame to refer to her as daughter) or a later wife (Thai)? So at 66 were you just widely sowing your oats with younger childbearing women, whom you later abandon.

At 74, your still having so much fun in Bangkok.............with another disabled daughter to take care of............or is that really the role of your wife while you have so much fun in Bangkok.

Sorry but I find your story disturbing, maybe part truth, but full of riddles, indiscrepancies and I for one don't believe it.

There is no 'fun' whether in Bangkok or elsewhere taking care of a disabled child. It's full on hard time graft and no time for fun.

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Hi Faz:

Wow, so much hate and anger. You have a lot of problems to work out.

I don't know you (and I don't want to) but I think you need some loving in your life.

One clue: When you wake up in the morning, it will help if you say to yourself: "I will greet this day with love in my heart." Do that every day. And mean it, because that is the greatest secret of success in the world.

I see you're really curious about my sexual relations and partnerships, and how I make them work. MYOB ... that's my business not yours.

I know the sweetie pie is radiantly happy because the mom brings her here often, so I can see and hear for myself. Indeed, the two were just here for an extended stay. Left yesterday after a visit to the mom's favorite Bangkok wat and a wonderful el cheapo Issarn seafood restaurant.

Kind regards,

Just having fun, and lots of it, in Bangkok

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Hi Faz:

Wow, so much hate and anger. You have a lot of problems to work out.

I don't know you (and I don't want to) but I think you need some loving in your life.

One clue: When you wake up in the morning, it will help if you say to yourself: "I will greet this day with love in my heart." Do that every day. And mean it, because that is the greatest secret of success in the world.

I see you're really curious about my sexual relations and partnerships, and how I make them work. MYOB ... that's my business not yours.

I know the sweetie pie is radiantly happy because the mom brings her here often, so I can see and hear for myself. Indeed, the two were just here for an extended stay. Left yesterday after a visit to the mom's favorite Bangkok wat and a wonderful el cheapo Issarn seafood restaurant.

Kind regards,

Just having fun, and lots of it, in Bangkok

cheesy.gif

There is a misplaced sense of what constitutes a 'good Father' attached to your sentiments.

I can see the typical retired 'sexpat' still trying to recapture his youth, and whilst feeling good about himself, has little regard, respect or sense of responsibility for his actions. I feel sorry for your 8 year old daughter.

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I agree 100% with justhavingfun

"Wow (Mr Faz) , so much hate and anger. You have a lot of problems to work out."

But very difficult to change a nasty bigot's attitudes.

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"As I have been involved with handicapped children I can state that if you father a handicapped child you will regret every day of the rest of your life."

As a 66-year old, I fathered a dwarf girl -- and it changed my life dramatically.

The mother and I rallied around the little kid. Studied books about dwarfism, and loved the little girl to pieces.

Today, the little dwarf girl (now 8) lives on her farm in Ubon with her mother, two sisters and 8 to 12 doggies, radiantly happy.

She's no burden. I love her dearly. She's a great joy of my life. The mother dotes on her too; loves her dearly.

Then, two years ago, an adult daughter of mine, was a 23-year old, rising, leading ballerina with a good ballet company. She stepped off the kerb in America, was slammed by a car and hovered between life and death for 3 months in intensive care. She lived but suffers from traumatic brain injury and aphasia. Couldn't talk. Couldn't walk (right leg). Couldn't use her right hand and arm.

We brought her out here to be treated by Thailand's great hospitals. Beginning with 1,2,3 which she knew, I taught her the numbers. Now she does addition, subtraction, up to three digits with carrying. Quite a come-down from co-valedictorian at her college, and doing calculus with her but a joy to see the progress.

My wife taught her to walk (with a limp). She's beginning to use her right arm. Can pick up something ultra light with her right hand. And more.

This guy who wrote the quote at the top is not cut out to be a father. If one wants to be a daddy, as opposed to a sperm donor, you have to be prepared to take the bad with the good.

Best wishes to all the other daddies of "handicapped" children. I love ours intensely. They're a blessing.

Gotta go now. Time for my (now 25 year old's) math lesson. Second grade, telling time.

Just having fun (in Bangkok, and lots of it)

It's life, bad stuff happens. However, deliberately fathering a child when there is a much higher chance of bringing a handicapped child into the world is just irresponsible, and if one does, one will rightly feel guilty for the rest of one's life.

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" deliberately fathering a child when there is a much higher chance of bringing a handicapped child into the world is just irresponsible, "

This is a perfectly reasonable point from Thai Beach Lover.

But, when I consulted two doctors about the odds of dwarfism, both said it was caused by a genetic disorder in men whose probability increases in old age. They both said that dwarfism is extremely rare, and much less likely than having a baby with Down Syndrome from a 35-year old women. That correlated with my own research on the net.

When asked to quantify the odds, one said 1 in 10,000. The other said: about 1 in 60,000. One said that the odds with me were even lower since I didn't used mutagenic (gene disturbing) drugs such as pot or LSD. And both cited the fact that I had just fathered a healthy baby as lowering the odds.

A Taiwanese midwife, who I had used in one birthing and who said she had delivered 3,000 babies, said "Don't worry. You're not using drugs are you?"

With odds like that, I went into the project enthusiastically.

Both late arrivals, by the way, are extremely intelligent. The older one, is partially home schooled by me, and partially schooled at a good private school in Bangkok. She was so advanced in reading that I had to go to her school principal and tell her that she (my daughter) was complaining about the reading assignments because they were too simple. The school, to its credit, started a small "advanced reading" group to accommodate my little girl and two other young girls.

My other daughter (the dwarf), doesn't have the same advantages. She lives with her mother up-country. The mom is loving, caring, and intelligent, but unable to home school. Too tired after farming (her own farm) and holding down a second job selling insurance. It never ceases to amaze me how much parental involvement means to the mental development of a child.

I don't know for a fact, but I don't think it's the Thai schools that hold kids back. It's the lack of parental involvement. The old sister of my last daughter (the dwarf), is not my child. But she chose to stay with me in Bangkok for 4 years, going to a Thai school. With just a little bit of help and push from me, she rose to the top three in her class in math and English.

Now, she's back in Ubon with her mom and wants to come back here for that help and push -- even though I don't let her wear those tight-tight shorts that the young Thai teens seem to love.

I guess to her I'm just a grumpy old granddaddy but she loves me anyway. And vice versa.

Just having fun (in Bangkok)

P.S. For those of you who enjoy words, "granddaddy" is only English word I've found with two double "d's". Can you find another?

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Just keep digging that hole.

Your just a self confessed sperm bank.

Even though you knew the risks you continued, and whilst you talk about parental involvement, it appears you have little involvement and will undoubtedly leave someone else to pick up pieces after your gone.

I'm not a nasty bigot, as suggested, I just think your a prime example of why you shouldn't have kids around retirement age.

Sorry, but while I have no respect for you, I do have the utmost sympathy for your young children.

That's as succinct as I can be.

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" deliberately fathering a child when there is a much higher chance of bringing a handicapped child into the world is just irresponsible, "

This is a perfectly reasonable point from Thai Beach Lover.

But, when I consulted two doctors about the odds of dwarfism, both said it was caused by a genetic disorder in men whose probability increases in old age. They both said that dwarfism is extremely rare, and much less likely than having a baby with Down Syndrome from a 35-year old women. That correlated with my own research on the net.

When asked to quantify the odds, one said 1 in 10,000. The other said: about 1 in 60,000. One said that the odds with me were even lower since I didn't used mutagenic (gene disturbing) drugs such as pot or LSD. And both cited the fact that I had just fathered a healthy baby as lowering the odds.

A Taiwanese midwife, who I had used in one birthing and who said she had delivered 3,000 babies, said "Don't worry. You're not using drugs are you?"

With odds like that, I went into the project enthusiastically.

Both late arrivals, by the way, are extremely intelligent. The older one, is partially home schooled by me, and partially schooled at a good private school in Bangkok. She was so advanced in reading that I had to go to her school principal and tell her that she (my daughter) was complaining about the reading assignments because they were too simple. The school, to its credit, started a small "advanced reading" group to accommodate my little girl and two other young girls.

My other daughter (the dwarf), doesn't have the same advantages. She lives with her mother up-country. The mom is loving, caring, and intelligent, but unable to home school. Too tired after farming (her own farm) and holding down a second job selling insurance. It never ceases to amaze me how much parental involvement means to the mental development of a child.

I don't know for a fact, but I don't think it's the Thai schools that hold kids back. It's the lack of parental involvement. The old sister of my last daughter (the dwarf), is not my child. But she chose to stay with me in Bangkok for 4 years, going to a Thai school. With just a little bit of help and push from me, she rose to the top three in her class in math and English.

Now, she's back in Ubon with her mom and wants to come back here for that help and push -- even though I don't let her wear those tight-tight shorts that the young Thai teens seem to love.

I guess to her I'm just a grumpy old granddaddy but she loves me anyway. And vice versa.

Just having fun (in Bangkok)

P.S. For those of you who enjoy words, "granddaddy" is only English word I've found with two double "d's". Can you find another?

When I said there is a much higher chance of bringing a handicapped child into the world dwarfism was the last thing I thought about.

If one googles paternal age effect there is much to give one pause before proceeding. It is, after all, not something one can claim ignorance of if it all goes wrong.

Having seen the effect on a friend's handicapped child's father, the guilt can not be underestimated.

Edited by thaibeachlovers
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how long is a piece of string? not to be too facetious , but the sky is the limit, why settle for cheap food when you can get the best, why settle for cheap necesseties when you can get the best

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