Something For All The Experts

[Paul Laycock]

Hi All,

I'm 59 turn 60 in October, now partially disabled and living alone in the N/East of Thailand. I have been here for 15 years plus, not been back to the UK for just over 10 years.

I'm married and have a 12 year old son, my son lives next door with his grandmother, he has dual nationality.

Some 8 years ago I suffered 2 strokes brought on by DVT and hypertension. My wife was always with me throughout all my ordeals and countless hospital visits. Perhaps I should point out we lived in the UK for some years and she obtained British Citizenship, passport.

Sold the house in UK and moved here, built a nice house and lived comfortably for a number of years.

Walking for me was a problem but we got around and I could still drive without problems.

Just over two years ago she decided to seek her fortune in Bangkok, landed herself a good job and now travels the world.

Since my strokes there was no activity in the bedroom which resulted in her sleeping in a different room.

Since she has gone I have had hip replacement surgery which became infected resulting in further hospitalization.

Financially I'm OK, but now can only get around with a frame or tripod walker, driving my car is not safe.

I receive help from my sister inlaw for 2 or 3 hours a day.

Where do I stand (no pun intended) with the house if I was to divorce on the grounds of desertion, how would this affect my Visa status, could someone of my choice move into the house with me (5 bedrooms 3 bathrooms) without there being a big problem.

My wife contributes nothing financially apart from paying for our son's education.

I rarely get further than the front gate these days but keep training in the hope I become more mobile soon.

Thanks for reading and have fun in your replies - I'm up for it.

[CharlieH]

You probably already know that (unless you already made paperwork) you own nothing, she does. Your fate and that property is very much in her hands.

If you have a Visa and an extension based on marriage, that will terminate when your marriage does. You will have to get a Visa based on other criteria.

My only advice would be to seek clear specific legitimate legal advice for your specific case from a qualified professional.

Do not rely on "experts" and hearsay from apparent experts on an internet forum.

Good luck, the road ahead is frought with challenges I fear.

[Lite Beer]

To get extensions from Immigration based on being married to a Thai you have to live together as man and wife.

Retirement extension would be your option.

[Soutpeel]

I was to divorce on the grounds of desertion - you would lose your extension/visa on the basis of marriage

could someone of my choice move into the house with me (5 bedrooms 3 bathrooms) without there being a big problem -

they could, but one suspects your darling EX may have something to say about it as one suspects its her house (or at least 50% of it, if you can pull that one off in Divorce count and if you moved the person of your choice in before the divorce, one suspects you soon to EX will counter sue you for "adultery" as well

you should be treading very carefully

[CharlieH]

Given this is directly concerning "divorce" it may be better suited to the Marriage & Divorce forum.

MOVED

[phrodan]

I was to divorce on the grounds of desertion - you would lose your extension/visa on the basis of marriage

could someone of my choice move into the house with me (5 bedrooms 3 bathrooms) without there being a big problem -

they could, but one suspects your darling EX may have something to say about it as one suspects its her house (or at least 50% of it, if you can pull that one off in Divorce count and if you moved the person of your choice in before the divorce, one suspects you soon to EX will counter sue you for "adultery" as well

you should be treading very carefully

I agree.

The OP is at risk of making a poor situation ten times worse.

He should consider the benefits of maintaining a platonic relationship with his wife.

Neither of them would have wished for this to have happened, debilitating illness such as this at such a young age is cruel is many ways.

My first impression is that the OP should let his wife spread her wings - and she is taking care of the son's education so it's not total abandonment.

I feel that the OP should accept that he is in a new phase/stage of marriage and should be making the best of it.

Divorce could be a lot worse.

Edited June 23, 2015 by phrodan

[Crazy chef 1]

I wish you all the best May God have mercy....

[thaibeachlovers]

I wish you all the best May God have mercy....

Agreed, as I think your situation is dire. As a nurse of 26 years I can say that nothing will get better from here on.

Unless you will be able to afford 24 hour care and the best hospitals your situation is not good.

I know you probably have no desire to return to the UK, but that may be the best of a bad situation, unless you are considering a more final solution.

[DogNo1]

I see where you're going with this. Have you asked your wife if she would agree to let a companion / caretaker live in the house with you? You clearly need one and one hopes that she is not without compassion for you in your condition. Good luck with finding someone to help you. Of course, be sure to protect yourself financially. It is easy to allow yourself to be taken advantage of when you're in a desperate condition.

[chickenslegs]

I'm assuming, from your OP, that you have an extension of stay based on marriage to a Thai.

You are over 50 and, in your words, "financially OK" so why not change to an extension of stay based on retirement, then you would not have to worry about your marital status affecting your "visa status".

For retirement extension you need 800,000 Baht deposited in the bank or the equivalent annual income (full details can be found in some of the pinned topics).

Next, you can consider whether you want/need a divorce. Divorce is fairly easy here if you married in Thailand and both agree to it. It is my understanding that any property which was purchased during the marriage is split 50-50, so it may be possible to negotiate a deal whereby you keep the house (in a company name or on a lease or usufruct etc).

On the other hand, you could take your 50% (minus legal fees) and go back to the UK and get all the health care and other benefits due to you.

From what you say, it does not seem that your wife has any ill-will towards you (or vice versa). However, moving someone else into the marital home could be a major game-changer, especially if it is your sister in law (am I assuming too much?).

Anyway up, I wish you the very best.

[rocketboybkk]

You probably already know that (unless you already made paperwork) you own nothing, she does. Your fate and that property is very much in her hands.

If you have a Visa and an extension based on marriage, that will terminate when your marriage does. You will have to get a Visa based on other criteria.

My only advice would be to seek clear specific legitimate legal advice for your specific case from a qualified professional.

Do not rely on "experts" and hearsay from apparent experts on an internet forum.

Good luck, the road ahead is frought with challenges I fear.

I agree with you, don't rely on any 'experts' on here, seek clear legal advise from a professional.

Where in NE do you live?

All the best.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[rocketboybkk]

Op, can you clarify whose name the property is registered in?

I think if it's your wife then there be 'issues'

Are you prepared to sell up if needs be & buy a smaller property?

It's not going to be easy or pleasant I feel

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[thaibeachlovers]

You probably already know that (unless you already made paperwork) you own nothing, she does. Your fate and that property is very much in her hands.

If you have a Visa and an extension based on marriage, that will terminate when your marriage does. You will have to get a Visa based on other criteria.

My only advice would be to seek clear specific legitimate legal advice for your specific case from a qualified professional.

Do not rely on "experts" and hearsay from apparent experts on an internet forum.

Good luck, the road ahead is frought with challenges I fear.

I agree with you, don't rely on any 'experts' on here, seek clear legal advise from a professional.

Where in NE do you live?

All the best.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

If by that you mean a lawyer, I have to say that the lawyer that dealt with my seperation made my situation far worse than it needed to be. Not all lawyers are any good, some are terrible.