Help, my wife is a hoarder

[kkup]

I have the same issue. We don't need garbage bags, the house is a giant one. @bangsheadagainstbrickwall

[winstonc]

Old toothbrushes are good to clean around the hotplates and the grout in the bathroom.

Uh,

I have yet to see an Issan ever clean grout on a bathroom floor or wall, much less, keep their kitchen spotless.... I certainly get a giggle from the comments on this, as one poster stated, he finally gave up! So it is with me.....

I take it you have not seen much of Issan, but hey, don't let that get in the way of your constant stereotyping.

in his defence he,s right about isaan i lived in ubon and it was <deleted>...everywhere.

[shaurene]

Same with me, there are empty cardboard Boxs all over the place, empty plastic and glass bottles are put into the empty cardboard boxs, the collector guys come around every 1-2 months and the family are all looking at the scales the collectors use to weigh the stuff.

And holding clothes, <deleted>, I tried to set example with the wife I sorted my clothes out and filled 3 large suit cases with stuff I decided I did not want any more, we have a little shop in the village and now my old clothes are on racks with for sale signs on, 50bt for shorts, T's, ties and polo's, 100bt for my shirts.

It all comes from their struggles in the past to make some money. But the plastic shopping bags come in very handy to line the small rubbish bins around the house.

But that could be a goner soon, some of the stores are starting to charge 5 bt a bag to cut down on plastic bags, not a bad idea as Thailand shops put everything in bags.

You cannot win guys you just have to go along with it.

[Just1Voice]

Ohhhhh, God, don't even get me started on my pack rat wife. I'll be typing all day.

[JacChang]

Old toothbrushes are for cleaning shoes, scrubbing hard to scrub areas while cleaning the house, for poking the cockcroaches if you see one, for scrubbing stained areas on clothings. Be sure to have atleast 5 of these old dirty toothbrushes in every bathroom.

CR-V's ceiling could be used to dry various vegetables out on the sun, such as raddishes and such, or mushrooms. It serves many purposes.

Opening the volume at 35, allows neighbors to know what type of TV you have, and it raises the social status of your family and makes them feel good and secure.

Neighbors poisoned your dog, because the dog always eat their things.

[Fore Man]

This is nothing odd...most Thai come from poor backgrounds, and hoarding everything is their safety net for when times are lean again...even though 99% of the stuff being saved will never, ever be reused. People who rose from needy backgrounds have long memories and even if you now live in relative opulence, your Thai wife will always be a hoarder. We live in a large, comfortable home designed to Western standards, yet open any drawer and you'll find it crammed full of arcane bits and detritus. We too have enough plates and glassware to fit out 10 families, but every time we shop at Big C, there's yet another cheap freebie to bring home and add to the ever-expanding stash. We purposely added room air conditioning units to cool off things, but they are almost never used in favor of electric fans that only add to the cluttered decor. To a Thai, clutter equates to security and comfort...as in, 'all of this belongs to me!'. We designed and installed a show-off, fancy Western kitchen with costly appliances that have never been used, yet these were 'must-haves' when the home was being built. When little things break or need repairs, the job is put off interminably....most likely due to a built-in reluctance to spend money. I could go on and on, but I am fairly sure that any Farang married to a Thai woman will see striking similarities in his given situation. No matter how economically sound we may be, we cannot change Thai household customs, and it is pointless to even try. All we can do is be thankful for the little things we have and glad we aren't living in some other Godforsaken place where life is a constant grind marked by strife and unending toil.

[Liquorice]

Look on the bright side. At least a hoarders home will never be ransacked!

[Liquorice]

I have the same issue. We don't need garbage bags, the house is a giant one. @bangsheadagainstbrickwall

You can find a brick wall?

[treehouse_ monkey]

Help - I married someone I have nothing in common with, and now I'm amazed to discover there are many cultural differences.

<snip>

I have recently built a second house primarily because I can't stand trash and clutter everywhere. I built my wife a new bedroom with a 4 meter long closet which is crammed full to the max. Last year I was cleaning out our storeroom, Under a sack of boxes I found the old sewing machine and table I had purchased for my wife which she only used for two outfits she made something nearly 18 years ago, The table literally fell apart from termite damage, the machine itself was totally rusted, the belts totally frayed. No way could this ever be of use again. I took it out. loaded it in the back of my pick up and promptly took it to a scrap dealer where I received 100 Baht. Yesterday she asked me where her sewing machine was. I told her I had trashed it. She was furious. I explained it was beyond repair. She is still steaming. The silence is golden and wonderful. I think I will throw something else of hers away. She currently has four closets full of clothes, mostly silk dresses which she will never be able to get in. She is now 20 kilos heavier than she was 10 years ago. meanwhile my room is completely organized, frshly scented,mopped and swept clean as a whistle. Everything in its place. My book cases are super organized, polish and totally presentable. Ahhh!!!

Edited June 29, 2015 by Jai Dee
quoted flame post removed

[Crazy chef 1]

have to admit i am a hoarder es well...i am hoarding empty beer bottles...

[Pinot]

This is nothing odd...most Thai come from poor backgrounds, and hoarding everything is their safety net for when times are lean again...even though 99% of the stuff being saved will never, ever be reused. People who rose from needy backgrounds have long memories and even if you now live in relative opulence, your Thai wife will always be a hoarder. We live in a large, comfortable home designed to Western standards, yet open any drawer and you'll find it crammed full of arcane bits and detritus. We too have enough plates and glassware to fit out 10 families, but every time we shop at Big C, there's yet another cheap freebie to bring home and add to the ever-expanding stash. We purposely added room air conditioning units to cool off things, but they are almost never used in favor of electric fans that only add to the cluttered decor. To a Thai, clutter equates to security and comfort...as in, 'all of this belongs to me!'. We designed and installed a show-off, fancy Western kitchen with costly appliances that have never been used, yet these were 'must-haves' when the home was being built. When little things break or need repairs, the job is put off interminably....most likely due to a built-in reluctance to spend money. I could go on and on, but I am fairly sure that any Farang married to a Thai woman will see striking similarities in his given situation. No matter how economically sound we may be, we cannot change Thai household customs, and it is pointless to even try. All we can do is be thankful for the little things we have and glad we aren't living in some other Godforsaken place where life is a constant grind marked by strife and unending toil.

My ex mother-in-law in the States was a hoarder. She grew up in the depression, so every empty jar and everything else was saved. Being poor will make you a hoarder. So, I wasn't surprised to find my Thai wife's family were the same way. They've got so much crap it's unbelievable. That's the way it is. Up to them.

When I see it around our house I tell her to get rid of it. She listens sometimes.

[MyFriend You]

Absolutely nothing goes to waste and in many interesting ways things get repurposed - but no clutter to be found and everything in the house has an organized orderly system......

If I want to buy something to stock/reserve I've been told we have enough for right now......the dining room table stays free for dining.....So - can't say we're hoarding - can say everything has a weighed/considered value......

I put a Really Nice Thai table cloth on the dining table, then had a Piuece of glass made for it - that is the only place in the house that is not cluttered with "Stuff" girlfriend stuff, Mom & Pop stuff, kids stuff, housekeeper stuff etc etc - so I built a 'Stuff House' in the backyard, on stilts for the chickens I raise - quickly turned into a Party House, with all the 'Stuff' going into large lack Plastic garbage bags and placed outside.

Came home one day, the 'Garbage Man" was pushing his cart down the street - I called him into the Yard and he carted it all away.....I actually thought it was garbage.......family wouldn't talk to me for a month.....I became the 'Ugly Fuhlung' AND ITS MY RENTED HOUSE!! The rest of the story is the Old Ones moved back home, the girlfriend soon left with them, I now have a clean empty house to live in - of course - can't take any other women in there because they all know my 'girl friend' so who won in the end?? No worries, I am in dealings with a broker to find me another one. In Thailand, sometimes its 'Damned if you do and Damned if you don't' Think I'll relocate to Pattaya proper and start all over.

[Jimlove]

I wish many more would be hoarders instead of throwing all their garbage everywhere ....

[MyFriend You]

Same with me, there are empty cardboard Boxs all over the place, empty plastic and glass bottles are put into the empty cardboard boxs, the collector guys come around every 1-2 months and the family are all looking at the scales the collectors use to weigh the stuff.

And holding clothes, <deleted>, I tried to set example with the wife I sorted my clothes out and filled 3 large suit cases with stuff I decided I did not want any more, we have a little shop in the village and now my old clothes are on racks with for sale signs on, 50bt for shorts, T's, ties and polo's, 100bt for my shirts.

It all comes from their struggles in the past to make some money. But the plastic shopping bags come in very handy to line the small rubbish bins around the house.

But that could be a goner soon, some of the stores are starting to charge 5 bt a bag to cut down on plastic bags, not a bad idea as Thailand shops put everything in bags.

You cannot win guys you just have to go along with it.

Read my post..........

[Dublin]

I know exactly how you feel, my solution to the very same problem was to buy but 4 concrete well rings 1 meter high and about 1.2 across I put them out in the garden as much out of sight as possible and planted some bushes in front of them. The daughter is in control of it and gets to keep whatever money she makes after selling to the scrap man. one ring for plastic, one metal, one paper and so on works a treat although there are times that you just cannot throw something away as it will be used one day, so it sits there until she finds a use for it and then she proudly announces you see how lucky we not throw away ,,, yes my love you are right....

Edited June 29, 2015 by Dublin

[MyFriend You]

Help - I married someone I have nothing in common with, and now I'm amazed to discover there are many cultural differences.

Our ranking pedalphile troll has yet again chimed in with another useless comment aimed a degrading/attacking another poster......

I have recently built a second house primarily because I can't stand trash and clutter everywhere. I built my wife a new bedroom with a 4 meter long closet which is crammed full to the max. Last year I was cleaning out our storeroom, Under a sack of boxes I found the old sewing machine and table I had purchased for my wife which she only used for two outfits she made something nearly 18 years ago, The table literally fell apart from termite damage, the machine itself was totally rusted, the belts totally frayed. No way could this ever be of use again. I took it out. loaded it in the back of my pick up and promptly took it to a scrap dealer where I received 100 Baht. Yesterday she asked me where her sewing machine was. I told her I had trashed it. She was furious. I explained it was beyond repair. She is still steaming. The silence is golden and wonderful. I think I will throw something else of hers away. She currently has four closets full of clothes, mostly silk dresses which she will never be able to get in. She is now 20 kilos heavier than she was 10 years ago. meanwhile my room is completely organized, frshly scented,mopped and swept clean as a whistle. Everything in its place. My book cases are super organized, polish and totally presentable. Ahhh!!!

This is why I am not 'Married' I'm 65 and beyond that now - But if you are in this type of relationship, I guess the old addage is correct "Its Cheaper to Keep Her" I suppose...........I couldn't compromise myself by staying married, living apart in the same house, etc etc but looks like you came up with the best solution.................read my post and see what happened to me = I really liked that girl, just not enough to marry her.

[rakman]

Be glad she doesn't hoard husbands.

[MisterTee]

Man-up Marty...

...make a clean sweep of everything that is obviously junk.

Are you the husband or the wife?

[Stevemercer]

My western conditioning says if it is in a black garbage bag it is garbage and I can throw it away. So I burn it (if it looks burnable) or give it to the junkman. Now everything is put in cardboard boxes and covered with something that doesn't look like junk.

[MauiSteveBKK]

Same Here.

About three (3) times each day ... I walk around and pick up stuff.

My Thai wife just drops stuff on the floor.

Most is trash, but some she is just "hoarding".

The Best Part -- I Throw It Away .... And She Rarely Notices.

[Remi080]

I sit here reading all the posts with a smile, for so many years i live in thai and i feel with you guy's.

So many questions about why thai people do this and that, the rubish in gardens, old toothbrushes haha yeah!! I thought i did experiance that alone here,, i did some homework to find out, and approached many people for these extraordinary happenings around the house or place where they life witch apear to be a pile of filth. I did find only 1 problem witch covers all, "thais are very lazy". Besides this, they just dont know better.

And to teach or upgrade them with some educational information about keep things propper and cleaned up, show them how to, and how things should, becouse only rats polute there own nest, they will understand, but hey, this process will take some time man! It took me three years to clean up a old farm, build a shower and propper toilet, and show them how to use running water from a shower head, in stead leave the water running slowly to fill up a tank of water, witch will be forgotten when its alreadyy full. Yeah water not alway's running, and no electric power so now and then, but these are to be solved with a water tank on a high level position. It will work, and they will understand, as i have seen and done it in my old place, to know we lived with 17 people in one place. As for some people from abroad who dont have so much patiends, leave it!! Get a house of your own!! Live there alone!! And let no one of thai national live in it when your not there.

[lucifer666]

Almost every home in my neighbourhood has a black plastic tub in the bathroom. The water gets cut around 3 times a week ( usually in the mornings, when you want to shower)

[kannot]

big black bucket in the middle, what's the point of building a shower?

i take it you havnt been there when there is a power cut and want to shower, yes ive got a back up geni, but not for the shower, only for fidges,light abd fans,

we have 2 showers and in one we too have a big black plastic container that is full of water all the time,

and in the hot season is a lot cooler then the water from the shower, yes i turn the heat of the shower but water still warm,

so that explaines your plastic container,

My water comes from well @85m deep its pumped into a pressurized tank even if electric goes off it will still give out 35 gallons enough for several showers.

[kannot]

Old toothbrushes are good to clean around the hotplates and the grout in the bathroom.

Uh,

I have yet to see an Issan ever clean grout on a bathroom floor or wall, much less, keep their kitchen spotless.... I certainly get a giggle from the comments on this, as one poster stated, he finally gave up! So it is with me.....

Everytime we have a shower the walls are wiped down with a squegee then dried with a cotton towel, last for years if you do this, I have "fully trained" the Wife to do this..................reason...............I F****ING WELL DID THE TILING hahahahah

[thaibeachlovers]

I have solved the problem by removing all my wife's "stuff" from wherever she leaves it in the house and depositing it in a single area that I have designated "her" area. She usually tidies it up as she wouldn't be able to find anything otherwise.

Causes a lot of shouting, but one has to stand one's ground on some things!

[thaibeachlovers]

I sit here reading all the posts with a smile, for so many years i live in thai and i feel with you guy's.

So many questions about why thai people do this and that, the rubish in gardens, old toothbrushes haha yeah!! I thought i did experiance that alone here,, i did some homework to find out, and approached many people for these extraordinary happenings around the house or place where they life witch apear to be a pile of filth. I did find only 1 problem witch covers all, "thais are very lazy". Besides this, they just dont know better.

And to teach or upgrade them with some educational information about keep things propper and cleaned up, show them how to, and how things should, becouse only rats polute there own nest, they will understand, but hey, this process will take some time man! It took me three years to clean up a old farm, build a shower and propper toilet, and show them how to use running water from a shower head, in stead leave the water running slowly to fill up a tank of water, witch will be forgotten when its alreadyy full. Yeah water not alway's running, and no electric power so now and then, but these are to be solved with a water tank on a high level position. It will work, and they will understand, as i have seen and done it in my old place, to know we lived with 17 people in one place. As for some people from abroad who dont have so much patiends, leave it!! Get a house of your own!! Live there alone!! And let no one of thai national live in it when your not there.

The reason I have come up with is that in the lifetime of Thai people still living they just threw everything outside where it decomposed ie nothing was made of permanent materials. The younger people just learned to do this and still do despite things no longer rotting away.

[smotherb]

I think a lot of this hoarding has to do with poverty and not having, or being able to afford, the things which may be needed/useful in the future. These issues, to me, are far less important than if the wife wasted everything and simply purchased more than needed. Count your blessings my firend, I have a good mate who is being forced to the poor house by his wasteful wife. She orders much more than she will eat at restaurants, then refuses to take it home; she buys clothes she doesn't wear and gives them to friends; she takes taxis to go down the street, even though she has a car and a motorbike; she has two maids, a driver, and a gardner, even though she has no kids and lives in a nice but rather small house; she goes out while he is off-shore and shouts rounds/rings the bell in bars.

[pigeonjake]

big black bucket in the middle, what's the point of building a shower?

i take it you havnt been there when there is a power cut and want to shower, yes ive got a back up geni, but not for the shower, only for fidges,light abd fans,

we have 2 showers and in one we too have a big black plastic container that is full of water all the time,

and in the hot season is a lot cooler then the water from the shower, yes i turn the heat of the shower but water still warm,

so that explaines your plastic container,

My water comes from well @85m deep its pumped into a pressurized tank even if electric goes off it will still give out 35 gallons enough for several showers.

our water comes from wells too,

i just didnt want tanks, so we just have auto pumps,

but to be honest its no big deal, i just mentioned that we also have a plastic container in one of our bathrooms,

[utkb]

Not throwing out used plastic sandwich bags irks me. She did agree to throw them out if they were used for raw meat. Otherwise I always see one or two drying in the sink.

To her defense, I'm still amazed at how much money she has accumulated by her habits.

[mmh8]

I like this frugal outlook, your family come from a mindset of not wasting and repurposing objects. Its easeir to throw things away, but I'd respect this method.