When a Loan Shark Destroys a Family

[473geo]

"She is always in a good mood and likes to serve and take care"

Why do some people insist on marrying maids?

I think just an attempt at pointing out the previous good character of his wife without gushing and going over the top, not insinuating he married the maid!

[xtrnuno41]

This can and happens everywhere in the world and not only with women.

Think about creditcard issues !

Fact is you never know your partner for 100%, something can change and you never saw it coming.

Your wife is somehow naieve or a very wicked smooth operator.

You said she has good heart, but that is what you saw for your 2 year period.

It could be acting or again she is really naieve.

You know you have to stay away from those loaners, but in asian way, i guess, it s like take it and then see

afterwards. And if really goes wrong , run.

It's your wifes fault and no one else. In Thailand money is the thing, well where it isnt?

Money makes someone do weird things and thats all over the world !! I know, you know!

I ve seen, heard, met all of those things with money and all happens with every body!

Your trust is down now, thats normal, but you have to deal with it as being married.

Sure you know if you are back, the loaners will come to you,and your own life is in danger or maybe

your daughter's or/and even your wife's.

Pay off, get loan with bank, but get rit off the loaners, you kow they arent fooling around.

Question remains, is your wife naieve, can you trust her(again) or is all a fake and a long term scam?!

[Braddockrd]

"She is always in a good mood and likes to serve and take care"

Why do some people insist on marrying maids?

I think just an attempt at pointing out the previous good character of his wife without gushing and going over the top, not insinuating he married the maid!

[RapidMethod]

I'm afraid I have to agree (albeit reluctantly) with the many replies to the OP, this story has all the attributes of a clever scam with a very good chance that the wife is in on it. Can you speak and read Thai? Are you able to converse with the daughter and extended members of the family in Thai? Can you read the IOU? If not then I'm afraid you will never be able to get to the bottom of this saga.

But if you can then there may be some ways you could resolve the problem, starting with talking to the loan shark in question and asking exactly what the debt is and terms of repayment. You should also talk to the neighbors and the aunt, and also the hospital where the father is being treated to find exactly what his illness is.

Firstly, just to get this out of the way for the other clever clogs reading this thread: I tend to bang on about how important it is to speak and read Thai if you are to live long-term in Thailand. Without being reasonably fluent, you are always dependent on a 'trusted' Thai partner (whether romantic or business) to deal with the inevitable problems or negotiations that you will have to deal with.

And in practice, you cannot afford to trust your wife (or husband) 100%, no matter how open and honest your relationship is. You say you've been in Thailand for 13 years, but unless you have conversed and worked and lived with Thais (in Thai) during that time then you can only superficially understand how they think and behave (keeping in mind that it's very difficult to generalize about an entire people, and that there are Thai-Chinese, northern Thais, southern Thais, Isaan Thais and many exceptional individuals...). I do my best to coach and advise people wanting to live long-term in Thailand, but we expats no matter how 'expert' are learning all the time.

You also say that you have known your wife for two years - ONLY two years!? Would you be equally confident about knowing someone from your own country and background after just two years? Remember that our Western values and beliefs and morals and sensibilities are vastly different from that of Thai people.

Your options are fairly limited, there is no sure solution to this problem because you will never uncover the true facts. My suggestion is to play the game just a little - do not make it easy on your wife - do not fork out the money as an outright gift (hoping she will have learnt her lesson, etc.) because that will just invite another financial 'mishap' sometime in the future.

Start off by saying that you don't have the money at the moment (make up some expense or financial difficulty you have if necessary).

If you can speak Thai well then go and have a friendly conversation with the neighbor(s) involved and ask them what happened and how much in debt they also are after having gambled at the casino in question. MAKE SURE THAT YOUR CONVERSATION IS FRIENDLY - do not get into any arguments (or 'discussions') at all. This is my number one rule for living in Thailand. If you cannot keep your tongue or your temper then you'd be better off not talking to anyone. It could cost you your life! I repeat: it could cost you your life.

Also go speak to the loan shark (assuming there is one and/or he is a genuine lender and not clever friend of your wife). Introduce yourself as the husband and say that you are helping your wife to pay off her debt because she has no money of her own. Be very polite and apologetic - they might be scum, but 1) they are powerful, ruthless people and 2) they have given hard cash to your wife who was quite happy to throw it away after having accepted their repayment terms, so they rightly expect to get the money back with interest.

Explain that you don't have the full amount at the moment and they you will pay off the debt over time. You'd like to know what the repayment terms are and whether they can be renegotiated - i.e. paying off the full amount over a shorter period or in bigger chunks (e.g. 50,000 baht now and another 50,000 baht in six months and the remainder at the end of the year). How much will the interest be? etc.

And do some due diligence in general. Go visit the father and talk to the doctor to find out what the treatment options are and the various costs. Find out about the family and go talk to the brothers and sisters and uncles and aunts. Find out what work they do and what their incomes are. Ask each person how much they can contribute to repaying the debt. (Hopefully, you haven't blabbed to your wife and neighbors about how much you earn or what your assets at home are. Otherwise make up a sob story about a family or business crisis or something.)

Then work with your wife and her family on a program of repayment of the debt, offering to contribute a reasonable amount yourself (say 50,000 baht in total - but not all at once!)

But assuming you can't speak Thai, your options are very limited.

Without question, the debt has to be repaid. Luckily it's not a huge amount of money (in comparison to some of the more spectacular losses other expats have had, such as when losing their entire house or brand new car to the wife). Just deal with the problem calmly and work out a way by which the money can be paid back with your wife - and her family - contributing as much as possible.

What are your assets? Start with your 'shared' assets. You say you've been living rent free. Well, how about a rental contract from the aunt to allow you to continue to live there rent free (or for a peppercorn rent) for the next three years, say? That's probably worth about 60,000 baht p.a. (I'm guessing that it's a smallish house in a typically Thai suburb on the outskirts of Bangkok). If you have a car then sell it and buy a cheaper car - you can get decent 15-year-old cars for under 100,000 baht. Get your wife to scour the used-car websites (she needs to 'work' to repay the debt, it mustn't be entirely your effort). Make sure the car you buy is subsequently registered in your name. Does she have a nice smartphone or tablet? Sell it (or buy it from her for and give it to one of your family members) and replace it with a cheap 600-baht phone.

Other things you might consider doing is to live more simply and cheaply together until the debt is repaid. No more eating out (your wife should be cooking more for you at home as a way to help economize) and certainly no more pizzas or pastries or coffees or whatever 'farang' food she enjoys. (That doesn't mean that you have to do without, btw. Just enjoy these pleasures on your own.)

If she's not already working, your wife could also be asked to get a job, with her pay of 10,000-odd per month going towards the debt repayment (if you 'gift' her 50,000 baht and you cobble together another 50,000-baht or so from her family or other means then she won't have to work for more than a year). You could also be quite creative and get her to work for you at whatever the going rate is for the activities in question!

Be kind and accommodating and flexible, but be firm. Even if it was a genuinely honest mistake (but especially if it was an opportune scam that she was talked into by her conniving friends), your wife still needs to be held responsible and put in the effort to repay the debt herself in some way.

If you'd like to chat about this privately, I'd be happy to help. Please PM with your personal contact details.

Wishing you both well,

Gary

[Ghostnigel]

Your wife is correct, getting out of there is the best thing to do.... but seeing as though you are willing to throw her away so easily just divorce her and be done with it.

By the way any debt incurred during wedlock is half yours.

hahaha....Yeah, that's right....so when the LOAN SHARKS take you BOTH to court to reclaim the money...blah blah blah

[Ghostnigel]

13 years in Thailand and you wind up in this situation.

Good luck grab your things and do one.

And not forget to take the sick buffalo with him.....5555

[Don Mega]

Your wife is correct, getting out of there is the best thing to do.... but seeing as though you are willing to throw her away so easily just divorce her and be done with it.

By the way any debt incurred during wedlock is half yours.

hahaha....Yeah, that's right....so when the LOAN SHARKS take you BOTH to court to reclaim the money...blah blah blah

No, its where the loans come and smash your knee caps in with a baseball bat cause the debt is half yours.

[Ghostnigel]

Your wife is correct, getting out of there is the best thing to do.... but seeing as though you are willing to throw her away so easily just divorce her and be done with it.

By the way any debt incurred during wedlock is half yours.

hahaha....Yeah, that's right....so when the LOAN SHARKS take you BOTH to court to reclaim the money...blah blah blah

No, its where the loans come and smash your knee caps in with a baseball bat cause the debt is half yours.

Not MY kneecaps mate....i would never ever go to a loan shark full stop..only if her buffalo was sick!!

you don't believe his story, do you? She has been 'reeling him in' for years, waiting for the time to pounce...no way could his story be true, its fiction mate!

[Ghostnigel]

The biggest question here is why did the OP's wife borrow the 200,000 Baht?

To help dying father

Dying father sick buffalo

Sick buffalo . Scam

It's in the dictionary....

[slipperylobster]

13 years in Thailand and you wind up in this situation.

Good luck grab your things and do one.

Thirteen years in Thailand.

Of course, you know Thirteen is an unlucky number.

You are a very unlucky guy married to a gambler with no common sense. Surprised you did not employ your knowledge by testing her out. Not all Thai's are like her. However, gambling runs thick in their blood...and just as an alcoholic is weak to an easily obtained drink....so is a gambler weak to the allure of lucky "big win", at your expense.

Loan Sharks are call "sharks" ...for a reason. People know exactly what will happen, but place their bets anyways....thinking Buddah will protect them. She can fight illegal interest gained by them...but your family, house, car, and indeed..your 13 years......will be swallowed by them...without a courtesy of a blink.

Nature of the beast........Loan Sharks FEED on stoopid gambling wives.

Your clue was when she came out with that life or death story on her dad, as you were on your way to visit your sick mom. She played it.

Edited July 20, 2015 by slipperylobster

[louse1953]

Just to put the people with limited knowledge straight who are calling scam regarding 'collateral'

Here is how it works, local card game, go along with 'friends', eventually pulled into the game for a few baht, wins a little say 1000 baht, enjoys the kudos of being lucky and walking away with money, encouraged by the win and 'friends' returns again to make money, as lucky, whoa there wins 10k baht wow. Next visit all fired up takes 5k baht loses and this time it goes wrong, 40k loaned off the person who is 'winning' but ok not to worry player is good for money. Next time goes back 5k baht again desperate to win, loses again, winners happy to loan money plays all day 'borrows' 100k all from the card school 'winners'.....well perhaps you get the picture now?

No collateral, the monies are provided by the 'House' team, and actual cash recovered through the 'game', no risk, no collateral just a bunch of cunning people working a well worn route into the wallet of a 'rich' husband - wife walks out without a penny card team holding a note for xxxxxxxxk

Perhaps I stand alone having a little sympathy for the Thai lady and her husband, but in my opinion she will have learnt a very harsh lesson people who lure you into card games are not friends!!

Pay the monies release her from the pain of worry and consequence she knows now she has been badly burned

The wife is the 'mark' here the husband the ultimate target

How many guys actually understand that providing a big house for a wife is a magnet for these types of financial 'assaults'

Having a farang husband places many burdens of expectation on a wife, also attracts 'hits' like this, be aware, and act to protect as best you can, because it ain't an easy road for your wife!!

Before you get married,you set the rules.Rule one,no gambling and hubby will not pay debts.My de facto learnt some English in Oz,one phrase was <deleted> Off.Seems to work.

[phrodan]

Just to put the people with limited knowledge straight who are calling scam regarding 'collateral'

Here is how it works, local card game, go along with 'friends', eventually pulled into the game for a few baht, wins a little say 1000 baht, enjoys the kudos of being lucky and walking away with money, encouraged by the win and 'friends' returns again to make money, as lucky, whoa there wins 10k baht wow. Next visit all fired up takes 5k baht loses and this time it goes wrong, 40k loaned off the person who is 'winning' but ok not to worry player is good for money. Next time goes back 5k baht again desperate to win, loses again, winners happy to loan money plays all day 'borrows' 100k all from the card school 'winners'.....well perhaps you get the picture now?

No collateral, the monies are provided by the 'House' team, and actual cash recovered through the 'game', no risk, no collateral just a bunch of cunning people working a well worn route into the wallet of a 'rich' husband - wife walks out without a penny card team holding a note for xxxxxxxxk

Perhaps I stand alone having a little sympathy for the Thai lady and her husband, but in my opinion she will have learnt a very harsh lesson people who lure you into card games are not friends!!

Pay the monies release her from the pain of worry and consequence she knows now she has been badly burned

The wife is the 'mark' here the husband the ultimate target

How many guys actually understand that providing a big house for a wife is a magnet for these types of financial 'assaults'

Having a farang husband places many burdens of expectation on a wife, also attracts 'hits' like this, be aware, and act to protect as best you can, because it ain't an easy road for your wife!!

Before you get married,you set the rules.Rule one,no gambling and hubby will not pay debts.My de facto learnt some English in Oz,one phrase was <deleted> Off.Seems to work.

Well, there is that "Red Line," method and I commend you for using it.

How would you feel if your wife was subjected to an acid attack ( as happened in CM three years ago ) for a minor debt.

Vindicated?

.....................................................

Red line -

My son - now clean - was a drug user.

He was in debt to the tune of 4,200 baht equivalent to a dealer - and the dealer was looking for him.

Non payment of minor drug debts where I'm from = mars barred ( slashed & scarred for life ).

I see young men all the time carrying appalling double blade scars.

What to do?

Pay the debt?

Or let him be scarred for life?

I paid the debt.

Am I weak? or am I a father?

[Puyai]

Sir, Very sorry to hear about your Mum. No bashing here and who could know what to say.

It never gets lonely between the rock and the hard place. If you need to pass the hat, I'm happy to help seed that hat.

Other than that, there is only faith. The rest is rhetoric. If we subscribe to the duality, sooner or later the pendulum will swing.

Good luck Sir.

[taotoo]

""would you ever bet on the numbers 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 or 5 5 5 5 5 5 5?"(or how ever many digits it is). I would ask her. She would reply' Of course not! How could anyone win on such an unlikely number!" I would respond, " Absolutely correct! But any combination of numbers has an equally high improbability! I have studied statistics and probablity math in college, and know that the odds are exactly equal. It is simple math."

In many lotteries common numbers are not good to pick, as if they come up you'll be sharing the jackpot with lots of other winners..

[rhodie]

Looks like the loan sharks have got bitterbatter.

[rocketboybkk]

She sounds like a real keeper. Congratulations on taking your time to find the loser you've looked so hard for!!

200k baht isn't in fact a fortune but when you've got nothing... Mmmmmm

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[meatboy]

I am absolutely certain no-one can borrow Baht 200,000.- from anywhere, Loan Shark or whatever, without substantial collateral.

So what did she provide as surety?

Patrick

yes your absolutely right pb.i do know a bit about these loan sharks and unless you have something worth the loan you get nothing.

so thinking she might have been scammed by the neighbours who are in carhoots with the shark,because if they went as gaurantors its them that they would be after not your wife.and yes with guns aswell.

I SMELL A RAT.who knows she's married to a farang.

[FritsSikkink]

I am absolutely certain no-one can borrow Baht 200,000.- from anywhere, Loan Shark or whatever, without substantial collateral.

So what did she provide as surety?

Patrick

yes your absolutely right pb.i do know a bit about these loan sharks and unless you have something worth the loan you get nothing.

so thinking she might have been scammed by the neighbours who are in carhoots with the shark,because if they went as gaurantors its them that they would be after not your wife.and yes with guns aswell.

I SMELL A RAT.who knows she's married to a farang.

you don't know much about these people, the farang husband is worth something. they are banking on that he doesn't want his wife to get hurt

[FritsSikkink]

I am absolutely certain no-one can borrow Baht 200,000.- from anywhere, Loan Shark or whatever, without substantial collateral.

So what did she provide as surety?

Patrick

yes your absolutely right pb.i do know a bit about these loan sharks and unless you have something worth the loan you get nothing.

so thinking she might have been scammed by the neighbours who are in carhoots with the shark,because if they went as gaurantors its them that they would be after not your wife.and yes with guns aswell.

I SMELL A RAT.who knows she's married to a farang.

you don't know much about these people, the farang husband is worth something. they are banking on that he doesn't want his wife to get hurt

they know from the neighbours or his wife

[meatboy]

I am absolutely certain no-one can borrow Baht 200,000.- from anywhere, Loan Shark or whatever, without substantial collateral.

So what did she provide as surety?

Patrick

yes your absolutely right pb.i do know a bit about these loan sharks and unless you have something worth the loan you get nothing.

so thinking she might have been scammed by the neighbours who are in carhoots with the shark,because if they went as gaurantors its them that they would be after not your wife.and yes with guns aswell.

I SMELL A RAT.who knows she's married to a farang.

you don't know much about these people, the farang husband is worth something. they are banking on that he doesn't want his wife to get hurt

i do know quite a lot about these people,i met a couple of say not very nice debt collectors that came for some money owed and they did show me what might of happened if i had not bailed out the gaurantor and that was for only 20,000bht. if you read the post you will see i said the neightbours and the shark were in carhoots. so if you cant work out the connection as to why 200k.bht.was loaned without security go back to school.

and that was 26yrs.ago.so not a newbee.

Edited July 22, 2015 by meatboy

[FritsSikkink]

I am absolutely certain no-one can borrow Baht 200,000.- from anywhere, Loan Shark or whatever, without substantial collateral.

So what did she provide as surety?

Patrick

yes your absolutely right pb.i do know a bit about these loan sharks and unless you have something worth the loan you get nothing.

so thinking she might have been scammed by the neighbours who are in carhoots with the shark,because if they went as gaurantors its them that they would be after not your wife.and yes with guns aswell.

I SMELL A RAT.who knows she's married to a farang.

you don't know much about these people, the farang husband is worth something. they are banking on that he doesn't want his wife to get hurt

i do know quite a lot about these people,i met a couple of say not very nice debt collectors that came for some money owed and they did show me what might of happened if i had not bailed out the gaurantor and that was for only 20,000bht. if you read the post you will see i said the neightbours and the shark were in carhoots. so if you cant work out the connection as to why 200k.bht.was loaned without security go back to school.

and that was 26yrs.ago.so not a newbee.

the "rich" farang is security. i used to collect money

[hellohello123]

Only on thaivisa /thailand

Boasts about how long theyve been there

boasts about being choosy

Boasts about choosing a girl with a former fsrang hubbby

boasts about knowing her for two years married for one

blames loan sharks for all their problems

Sometimes i think a mirror would be the best medicine

[rocketboybkk]

Only on thaivisa /thailand

Boasts about how long theyve been there

boasts about being choosy

Boasts about choosing a girl with a former fsrang hubbby

boasts about knowing her for two years married for one

blames loan sharks for all their problems

Sometimes i think a mirror would be the best medicine

Agreed, he's an idiot & married one also

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[fang37]

And we are idiots for reading this s..t.

[Jamesht]

The smartest thing I have ever seen come out of a Thai persons mouth is my Hampton and I left public school at 12

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MaeJoMTB]

Well, there is that "Red Line," method and I commend you for using it.

How would you feel if your wife was subjected to an acid attack ( as happened in CM three years ago ) for a minor debt.

Vindicated?

She was a working prostitute and her English husband (who lived off her prostitution) had a long history of assaulting her.

Yeah, she gambled, but there was never any evidence the acid was gambling related.

A few months later the husband broke her arm in a fight.

So not really comparable.

Edited July 23, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[F4UCorsair]

I just reread the op.

The OP has never met his wife's father!

It's obvious why. He doesn't exist!!

I still believe it's a troll post, and now even less plausible.

I haven't read every post...has the OP been back? If not, probably off visiting another sick relative, or has rhodie suggested a few posts back, the loan sjarks got him? Oh well, one less troll.

Edited July 23, 2015 by F4UCorsair