Another Airline Anouncement

[mandl]

After a loud noise was heard on a flight, the pilot came on and said, "Folks, we've just lost one of our two engines. But don't worry. The other one will get us all the way to the crash site."

[et33.com]

Husband / Wife reasons for making / not

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean

17 times it was too late

49 times you were too tired

20 times it was too hot

15 times you pretended to be asleep

22 times you had a headache

17 times you were afraid of waking the baby

16 times you said you were too sore

12 times it was the wrong time of the month

19 times you had to get up early

09 times you said weren't in the mood

07 times you were sunburned

06 times you were watching the late show

05 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo

03 times you said the neighbors would hear us

09 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

06 times you just laid there

08 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling

04 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with

07 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished

01 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

05 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat

36 times you did not come home at all

21 times you didn't cum

33 times you came too soon

19 times you went soft before you got in

38 times you worked too late

10 times you got cramps in your toes

29 times you had to get up early to play golf

02 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls

04 times you got it stuck in your zipper

03 times you had a cold and your nose was running

02 times you had a splinter in your finger

20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day

06 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book

98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc.on TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was"Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?" The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

[Kan Win]

Husband / Wife reasons for making / not 

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean

17 times it was too late

49 times you were too tired

20 times it was too hot

15 times you pretended to be asleep

22 times you had a headache

17 times you were afraid of waking the baby

16 times you said you were too sore

12 times it was the wrong time of the month

19 times you had to get up early

09 times you said weren't in the mood

07 times you were sunburned

06 times you were watching the late show

05 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo

03 times you said the neighbors would hear us

09 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

06 times you just laid there

08 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling

04 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with

07 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished

01 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

05 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat

36 times you did not come home at all

21 times you didn't cum

33 times you came too soon

19 times you went soft before you got in

38 times you worked too late

10 times you got cramps in your toes

29 times you had to get up early to play golf

02 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls

04 times you got it stuck in your zipper

03 times you had a cold and your nose was running

02 times you had a splinter in your finger

20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day

06 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book

98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc.on TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was"Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?" The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

Sorry, but, I posted Himmilar of this, on this forum.

Please post your own - Thank you !@!@!@!@!@!