Raising a quadrilingual kid?

[banglassie]

Hello, we don't have kids, nor will we have in at least a year or two.
However we have been thinking about it for a few years.

So, I'm Swedish, which makes Swedish my native language. My wife is Thai-Khmer, which makes Khmer-Surin (sisaket) her first language - albeit she's still absolutely fluent in Thai of course.
We mostly speak Thai between each-other. English is just a language I speak among friends.

So, what approach is the best? Swedish is kinds of useless, as is Khmer-Surin, but both languages are important when it comes to grandparents and family etc. We are both kind of young (30-33)

I would assume the best is for each of us to speak our native tongue when speaking straight to the kid(s) and keep on speaking Thai between each other(?)
I would assume there are others out there with experiences in this field?

The kid will grow up with us in Bkk and not with the his/her grandparents out in the countryside..

[Briggsy]

As a starting point, each parent should speak to the child in a language they are fluent in and comfortable using.

The child may well reply in another language, almost certainly central Thai, if growing up in Bangkok.

[banglassie]

As a starting point, each parent should speak to the child in a language they are fluent in and comfortable using.

The child may well reply in another language, almost certainly central Thai, if growing up in Bangkok.

Thanks, yea, that makes perfect sense.

As long as he/she will understand both our languages that's great. Might come handy for him/her in the future if she/he want's to study in Sweden or abroad. Or just to be able to understand relatives from both sides. No need for speaking all three languages until 6-10 years old at least. English is important in all aspects, but I hope he/she can learn like me, by listening and repeating, and not grow up with all movies dubbed.

It's all just theory since nothing is planned. But being open for what can happen seems like the best approach since the wife will stop with her pills.

Was just scared it will make a child confused to the point where he/she would not speak at all. But seems like most people say it's completely possible after searching the web.

[stoneyboy]

I talk to my daughter in my native Norfolk Dialect.

Daddy do your father keep a dicky doo for he ain't got one right now.

Ha you got a loight bhoy.

She will go on leaps and bounds with such historical vocabulary.

[rct99q]

There really is no limit to the number of languages we as people can learn. Most are just too lazy to teach their children. When you have children start before birth. Then i would suggest each parent use their native language in speaking with your child. Local dialects such as isaan will come along when your child begins playing with others. Then fill in other languages with songs, cartoons and in every speech. Some experts believe the magic age is 3. to get yheir brains hardwired to learning languages. My little one now understands english, thai, issan, french, and just yesterday she was singing a song in japanese although neither my wife nor i speak it. She can repeat the sounds and can find objects in all the languages. It does not confuse them as we do separate who speaks which language so that she will speak french or english with me but hardly ever uses thai (even if i ask in thai where are your shoes her reply comes in english, same if moma asks her in english my daughter will reply in thai).

So in a nutshell speak as many languages as you can they are like little sponges and will sort it out in time.

[banglassie]

There really is no limit to the number of languages we as people can learn. Most are just too lazy to teach their children. When you have children start before birth. Then i would suggest each parent use their native language in speaking with your child. Local dialects such as isaan will come along when your child begins playing with others. Then fill in other languages with songs, cartoons and in every speech. Some experts believe the magic age is 3. to get yheir brains hardwired to learning languages. My little one now understands english, thai, issan, french, and just yesterday she was singing a song in japanese although neither my wife nor i speak it. She can repeat the sounds and can find objects in all the languages. It does not confuse them as we do separate who speaks which language so that she will speak french or english with me but hardly ever uses thai (even if i ask in thai where are your shoes her reply comes in english, same if moma asks her in english my daughter will reply in thai).

So in a nutshell speak as many languages as you can they are like little sponges and will sort it out in time.

Great reply! Thanks. Yea, that's exactly what I was hoping to hear, but since I don't have any references and no experience in the field I thought it was better to ask around. My wife's younger brother has a little one on 3 years. She speaks only Khmer so far, but when she speaks with me she still knows she should try to speak Thai (English only exists in the form of ABC in her world, which is great already, my wife learned ABC at age 10..)

[cooked]

The mother tongue is very important, depriving a child of it seems to cause damage to a child's development. I would be more worried about a child not learning English. Our granddaughter came to us two years ago at the age of 7 speaking good Thai, she has since picked up and understands Isaan Lao, some Khmer. Her English is passable although she understands just about everything, and her Chinese is pretty good if her exam results are anything to go by. I bought my own kids up speaking Swiss German, German, French and English, one of them even got an adequate standard.Spanish. (One year in Spain at fifteen).

Kids really have no difficulty learning languages, bringing them up bilingually can be difficult and the child generally starts to speak later than others. The earlier you start the better.

The worst case of linguistic child abuse I experienced was when a couple that spoke habitually Swiss German moved into the French part of Switzerland and started speaking in a guttural, stilted French to their kids, both of which, 30 years later, still can't communicate.

[Briggsy]

And to reinforce the excellent point made by cooked above, I always find it painful to hear Thai women with very basic non-grammatical English speaking in "English" to their children. The ridiculousness of the situation is demonstrated when the children reply in Thai since they are growing up in Thailand. And to complete the absurdity, the father is often a native speaker of French and German. This well-intentioned always leads to poor outcomes. Such a wasted opportunity.

[Happy Grumpy]

You speak English.

Wife speaks Thai.

School speaks Thai and English.

Your family speak Swedish (via skype or whatever)

Her family speak Khmer (via skype or whatever).

I would focus on it and when they get to readin/writing age I would get them a Khmer teacher to teach them reading/writing, and teach them Swedish myself.

I certainly wouldn't consider it a waste or useless.

When they are adult professionals they could be fully fluent reader writers of 4 very different languages, with ASEAN and the AEC, how many people are fluent reader writers of Khmer and Swedish, Thai and English too? Could be massively beneficial to their professional life and just that alone could see them do very well for themselves.

[banglassie]

You speak English.

Wife speaks Thai.

School speaks Thai and English.

Your family speak Swedish (via skype or whatever)

Her family speak Khmer (via skype or whatever).

I would focus on it and when they get to readin/writing age I would get them a Khmer teacher to teach them reading/writing, and teach them Swedish myself.

I certainly wouldn't consider it a waste or useless.

When they are adult professionals they could be fully fluent reader writers of 4 very different languages, with ASEAN and the AEC, how many people are fluent reader writers of Khmer and Swedish, Thai and English too? Could be massively beneficial to their professional life and just that alone could see them do very well for themselves.

Good point! Yea, it would for sure help to bring in a Khmer teacher later in "their" lives. Nobody back on the countryside writes Khmer, nor do they speak like Cambodians. Khmer-Surin has borrowed so much from Thai while Cambodian Khmer have borrowed a lot from French and Vietnamese. Accent is extremely different, and the Sisaket "branch" of "Khmer-Surin" is different from how they speak in Surin.

However, the base is still Khmer for all of them, and it will be way easier to learn Cambodian with the Sisaket version as a starter. My wife understands people in Siem Reap if both she and the person she is speaking with tries to understand each-other, but not as smoothly as Thai and Lao, which is much thanks to Isan, but also the fact that the languages are very similar, just like Lanna and Tai Lue if we ignore the Chinese influences in Jinghong/"Chiang Rung".

I love languages, and while my American friends here say I speak almost like a NES I do know that I am no NES and I don't pretend to be one. So speaking Swedish seems like a must since it is my native tongue that I feel most comfortable in without a doubt, even though I never speak it anymore.

[Bulldozer Dawn]

Why stop at four?

[banglassie]

Why stop at four?

I lived in Norway for 6 years, perhaps I should throw in some bokmål and nynorsk as well? (the 2 official languages in Norway)

But seriously I think it would just confuse their Swedish. As for more languages someone else has to help them since non of us speak more than that, which is more than enough already. But since we are both bilingual since an early age it feels kind of important to get all the essential languages, i.e. Khmer, Swedish and Thai (and English at a later stage).

(if They would learn all those they could proudly say they understand at least 7 languages, since they would understand Norwegian, Danish and Lao automatically. Kind of cool).

Edited August 12, 2015 by banglassie

[Happy Grumpy]

Khmer is a totally different language family to Thai.

It will be good for their brain to develop being exposed (immersed) in these four completely different languages.

A Khmer teacher would cost peanuts. REally only sombody to come and play with them for an hour every second day and read/write with them. Probably 100b an hour and any Khmer speaker that can write would do.

Look to the future, them as adults, if raised in Thailand, looking Western, with a Western Passport, while being a fluent reader/writer of Eng, Swedish, Thai and Khmer, add a Western B.A or M.A to the mix and region is theirs for the taking, professionally.

[Bulldozer Dawn]

And to reinforce the excellent point made by cooked above, I always find it painful to hear Thai women with very basic non-grammatical English speaking in "English" to their children. The ridiculousness of the situation is demonstrated when the children reply in Thai since they are growing up in Thailand. And to complete the absurdity, the father is often a native speaker of French and German. This well-intentioned always leads to poor outcomes. Such a wasted opportunity.

Bargirls have some status when they can fumble away with some English amongst the fresh from the farm arrivals.

Once married to a farang they carry on with this nonsense and the luckless offspring suffers the consequence.

One of farangs in my area is a classic example. He is German, she is an ex bargirl. I have heard them at a local restaurant talking as a family unit with their 6 year old. She speaks with the child in bar girl Isaanglish. The father speaks to the child in Genglish. And the kid replys back to them in Thai. Heaven help the poor little bugger.

[puukao]

Of course your kid will end up loving American movies and fall in love with these stars....

so he/she must be fluent in English to marry such role models on the internet and screen...

swedish? maybe if they play hockey...

thai? kap kap krap kap chai krap...are you sex tourist, krap?

and khmer.....wait to see if more tourists move there...

i can speak chinese, japanese, korean, english, russian and a very, very rare dialect heard in rwanda.

best way to make money is go onto youtube and compete with cute kitten videos....

[maoro2013]

I have a daughter here who is part Papua New Guinean and Australian. She talks Pidgin English, Motu, English and Thai, as well as understanding grandparents languages.(PNG has over 800 languages)

She was top of her class the first year in Thailand and is fluent in Thai both speaking reading and writing.

Don't worry about the languages, kids pick them up easily and, surprisingly, don't seem to get confused between them.

Don't worry about it at all, the more languages the better.

If attending school in Thailand the kid will learn Thai no matter what.

[AlQaholic]

My advice is to focus on two languages, Thai of course and then you must speak English to the kid. I myself is Swedish, my wife and I speak Swedish to each other, I speak English and Thai to our Daughter and Mother speaks Thai to her. Kid is fluent in Thai, a bit shy on the English but she understands well, has picked up a few words of Swedish, but we try to discourage Swedish as much as possible.

Anything watched on the TV when I am around (including the children stuff) is in English. No Thai soaps and that other show crap, but Thai News is OK.

[recycler]

We are in a similar situation, but as my wife spends much more time with the kids because I'm working I have decided to focus on English first to make sure they have one strong western language next to Thai. My native language, Dutch will follow later, same as Swedish it's not a language that is spoken globally.

I consider it very important that our kids learn to think and communicate in English as Thai language comes with a lot of social programming that I would actually rather avoid at young age.

[banglassie]

My advice is to focus on two languages, Thai of course and then you must speak English to the kid. I myself is Swedish, my wife and I speak Swedish to each other, I speak English and Thai to our Daughter and Mother speaks Thai to her. Kid is fluent in Thai, a bit shy on the English but she understands well, has picked up a few words of Swedish, but we try to discourage Swedish as much as possible.

Anything watched on the TV when I am around (including the children stuff) is in English. No Thai soaps and that other show crap, but Thai News is OK.

I assume you live here in Thailand, right?

While I completely see what you are doing, would it not be worth to know Swedish fluently if only for the reasons she:

1. is partly Swedish and will have a Swedish passport?

2. probably have family over there?

3. Since education is both free and good she could go and study there if she wants to?

[banglassie]

We are in a similar situation, but as my wife spends much more time with the kids because I'm working I have decided to focus on English first to make sure they have one strong western language next to Thai. My native language, Dutch will follow later, same as Swedish it's not a language that is spoken globally.

I consider it very important that our kids learn to think and communicate in English as Thai language comes with a lot of social programming that I would actually rather avoid at young age.

Hmm, yea, I see what you're saying. If it's not for you, or in my case me, I assume the kid would not be surrounded by much Dutch or Swedish. English is still everywhere, a good contrast to everything Thai.

In my case my parents will move down here in a couple of years as soon as they retire, and I am 100% sure they will speak Swedish with the kid, so I guess he/she would get Khmer from the mother and grandparents on that side, and Swedish from my parents, Thai comes automatically by friends, TV or kindergarten. So perhaps I should focus more on English.

[Dellie]

Don't worry so much about it. It all comes naturally. We speak only English at home with our daughter since she goes to international school. However she was fluent in both Thai and Swedish by age 3 without us trying to push it on her. My parents speak Swedish to her and my wife's parents speak Thai to her.

[smotherb]

There really is no limit to the number of languages we as people can learn. Most are just too lazy to teach their children. When you have children start before birth. Then i would suggest each parent use their native language in speaking with your child. Local dialects such as isaan will come along when your child begins playing with others. Then fill in other languages with songs, cartoons and in every speech. Some experts believe the magic age is 3. to get yheir brains hardwired to learning languages. My little one now understands english, thai, issan, french, and just yesterday she was singing a song in japanese although neither my wife nor i speak it. She can repeat the sounds and can find objects in all the languages. It does not confuse them as we do separate who speaks which language so that she will speak french or english with me but hardly ever uses thai (even if i ask in thai where are your shoes her reply comes in english, same if moma asks her in english my daughter will reply in thai).

So in a nutshell speak as many languages as you can they are like little sponges and will sort it out in time.

I agree with rct99q.

My wife is a Filipina and our son speaks both our languages, he also speaks quite fluent Thai. My Filipino brother in-law and his wife teach English here. They have been here over three years now, their 12 year old son and 10 year old daughter go to school here and speak Thai fluently; they did so after about a year. Both kids also speak English as well as Filipino.

Years ago, I went to visit a German friend of mine who was married to a Japanese girl. I knocked on their door and their 3 year old son answered. He started speaking German to me, my German is quite shallow, so I spoke to him in English. He responded in English saying his daddy was not home, but his mommy was. He called to her in Japanese, that an American was here to see his daddy. It seems neither of his parents spoke the other's language well, so they conversed in English. I worked with my German friend in Saudi Arabia, where the boy became quite fluent in Arabic. The boy eventually went on to one of my alma maters and majored in Mandarin Chinese. He is now the regional VP of a large multinational firm. He came to visit me a few months ago. I was very surprised, he also speaks Thai; one of his previous assignments with the multinational was in Thailand.

Kids are indeed sponges; they will learn. Expose your children to as many languages as you can; they will sort it out.

[Farang99]

As a starting point, each parent should speak to the child in a language they are fluent in and comfortable using.

The child may well reply in another language, almost certainly central Thai, if growing up in Bangkok.

Thanks, yea, that makes perfect sense.

As long as he/she will understand both our languages that's great. Might come handy for him/her in the future if she/he want's to study in Sweden or abroad. Or just to be able to understand relatives from both sides. No need for speaking all three languages until 6-10 years old at least. English is important in all aspects, but I hope he/she can learn like me, by listening and repeating, and not grow up with all movies dubbed.

It's all just theory since nothing is planned. But being open for what can happen seems like the best approach since the wife will stop with her pills.

Was just scared it will make a child confused to the point where he/she would not speak at all. But seems like most people say it's completely possible after searching the web.

When I lived in Malaysia many of the western plantation managers with families had Chinese maid/nannies, Malay drivers and Tamil gardeners. The children grew up speaking all four languages (including English) with ease and no problems

[daveyravey]

My kids are already fluent in Thai and English. I they are 4 and 3 years old. I would like

to introduce a third language but cannot decide which one. We live outside Bangkok so i guess

Mandarin or Russian would be a good choice.

What 3rd language woudl you guys choose for a half British Half Thai kid?

[recom273]

5 years ago, myself and my wife ( who is from Issan ) moved from Bangkok, to the deep south and she had the challenge of understanding a new dialect. After we arrived she found that many don't speak the Southern dialect, and she carries on speaking her Bangkok Thai, there is no confusion. I pick up more southern words than here, although she seems to understand more.

Don't worry about the Khmer-Surin part, the kid will pick up what it needs, if and when.

[sammygood]

who says you have good swimmers & her tubes are not clogged up

[LukKrueng]

I think it's most important that a chid of young age hears a parent speaks only 1 language-his/her native language. On your case the problem might be if you don't understand Khmer and your wife doesn't understand Swedish it's going to be hard for you to keep it working as your child will hear you both communicate on thai, which I'm pretty sure your's - as good as it might be - is not good enough for a child to learn from. At young age I never let my child hear me speak thai, only my native language which my wife can also speak. When I had to speak thai I always made sure the kids is not on my arms. It worked great. Since she started talking she always knew which language to use with which parent. Until this day as a grown up she doesn't speak thai with me. However, with her mom she speaks both...

[PattayaPhom]

While kids are young their brain is like a sponge and they take everything in. Learning languages will be natural if they are in an environment where parents/family speak differently. You should teach your kids Swedish for your family and the opportunities they may have later in life in Sweden or Denmark, your wife Thai/Khmer and probably Issan Laos if from Sisaket and of course good ole English. My kids speak Thai, English, Spanish and limited Russian and Greek which hopefully they will build on as they grow older if the interest is there. Languages open so many opportunities in life for career prospects its worth teaching them all from the start. Just let them do it naturally with emphasis on fun rather than learning

[jmcet]

My children were born in Thailand and went to school here while I was on a deployment that my family was not allowed to acompany me. Hence they read, write and speak Thai. When I was assigned to Germany, even though our childred could have attended The American military school, we elected to put them in German school. At home they spoke Thai with my wife and mother-in-law so they retained their Thai. I spoke only english wuth them, At 12 and 10 years lwe moved them to the military school. When we moved to the states they already had 3 languages. My oldest daughter took French and youngest took Spanish in school. They are fluent in these languages and tell me that with this base it is quite easy to understand Italin, portugese and a few other languages...

Although I can speak Thai quite well, I can only think in English. (constantly translating in my head). My oldest daughter surprised me when she told me that she is able to "think" in whatever language she is using.

My advice: Expose you childred to as many languages as possible. At a young age they are indeed like sponges...

[bkkdriller]

We are in a similar situation, but as my wife spends much more time with the kids because I'm working I have decided to focus on English first to make sure they have one strong western language next to Thai. My native language, Dutch will follow later, same as Swedish it's not a language that is spoken globally.

I consider it very important that our kids learn to think and communicate in English as Thai language comes with a lot of social programming that I would actually rather avoid at young age.

Dear Recycler, I was in a similar situation and made a similar decision but regret it now. Let me explain.

My wife native language is Portuguese and mine is Dutch. We have virtually always lived outside our home countries (now a number of years in Thailand) and no plans to permanently return to our home countries. We always communicated in English wherever we lived (over 15+ countries) and as a result my wife does not speak Dutch and I do not speak Portuguese. When my daughter was born in the US I decided (for a number of reason) to only speak with her in English while my wife speaks Portuguese with her when I was away from home for my work (or when they don't want me to hear what they are talking about).

Hindsight I regret this decision as I realize now that my daughter would easily have learned a 3rd language. She is now 13 and may not have been able to speak fluent Dutch but enough to be accepted at her International school in Bangkok for Dutch classes.

We just returned from a vacation in the Netherlands and I noticed that it was difficult for my daughter to communicate with her age group and other family members who do not speak English well enough. This isolated her quite a bit. A few weeks earlier we were in Brazil and my Daughter had a much better time there as she could communicate in Portuguese. My daughter actually "blames" me a bit for not speaking Dutch with her at a much younger age. She has now decided to put in some effort to learn Dutch.

In summary my recommendation would be to teach the child the mother tongue of both parents in addition to any other language that may be required.