Adultery

[tommybhill]

If you Skype with her, or communicate in some other way, why not simply ask her if she had a child with a different man and where she wants to go from here? I am rather puzzled that you would ask TV readers before asking your wife.

Because I wanted to know where I stood legally, what my options were regarding lawyers and police etc.

[does]

Fair enough. Then take advice from some of the people who responded.

If you wife has a baby from another man and doesn't discuss it with you, the relationship does not seem to have any future.

If you plan to return to Thailand and/or eventually settle here, you may read up on your legal rights and obligations. TV recently had a discussion on this very subject, such as assets AND liabilities (debt) incurred by either spouse during the marriage. Search for "Section 1471 of the civil code".

If you Skype with her, or communicate in some other way, why not simply ask her if she had a child with a different man and where she wants to go from here? I am rather puzzled that you would ask TV readers before asking your wife.

Because I wanted to know where I stood legally, what my options were regarding lawyers and police etc.

[bwpage3]

You do not have enough assets in Thailand to put yourself through this stress.

Divorce her and move on with your life.

The best advice possible.

She is obviously happy in her own situation and child.

[smotherb]

I have lived all over the world and seen similar tragic events everywhere, but nowhere are the numbers even close to Thailand. Somehow, though, I am continually amazed at the tales of woe coming from TV posters. It is a veritable soap opera of bad judgement and ill-conceived emotion. Why be so stupid? Have you never had a real relationship with a woman--and that goes for the ones who claim they were taken to the cleaners by their Western wives as well as the ones who were cuckolded by their Eastern wives? Are you so totally blinded by the international brown spot you simply cannot see the situation objectively? Then, you compound your ignorance by hanging your embarrassing laundry on the line for all to see. There must be a major flaw in the character of expats living here.

It's just that Thai woman are so damn sexy! How can we resist them?

Yes, that is what that brown spot does to you mate.

[tommybhill]

I have spoken to her today on Skype.

Just to clarify she has her own career and I never sent her money from overseas. We agreed on that towards the beginning of the relationship.

She seems to be in a world of pain right now and seems genuinely sorry. She's claiming it was a big mistake. I do almost feel sorry for her, almost.

Don't worry gents i'm not that stupid.

Thanks for the sound advice from the vast majority of you, I know what I have to do

Cheers

[Honkeydog]

I asked the same question on the ask a lawyer forum here once upon a time and was told I could get financial compensation from the other guy but had to have undisputed proof which you seem to have via FB and must have also file for divorce. The judge will determine amount of financial compensation from the other guy. So that should help the sting and may get your stuff back legally or compensate for it. Check with the folks who do the legal advise here for more information Good Luck

[SOTIRIOS]

....as you can see...the mother...and everyone else....is/are in on it......

...truth or justice have no bearing....

...and what most of us do not know...until it is too late is....you marry a gang......

...and their actions are thought out....calculated....premeditated......

....sorry but 'them's the facts'......

...there never was any love...just calculation.......and when the timing is 'right'...when they are sure they have everything they want and need....

....there you go......

...and do be careful......you are greatly outnumbered no matter how big or strong you are......

...if there are other assets...like a house...then by all means sue for half...

[nickcar]

In my opinion, any one who can leave their wife alone for more than 3 months is not entitled to expect anything more then you got. Marriage is designed for 2 people to care and love each other, and not make unreasonable demands on the partner. To my way of thinking 13 months is outrageously over the top and you are totally responsable for the breakup.

[sir charles IV]

Come on guys. The man poured his heart and soul and money into it. Walk away? Let a scumbag take his dog, bike, woman etc. no way me thinks. Here's what u do. 1. Go to Thailand without telling anyone. 2. Steal your belongings and sell them. 3. Dogs optional. 4. With the money you recovered go screw your brains out. 5. Take photos along the way. 7. As you're sitting in the departure lounge take a selfie. 8 send all the photos to her with a loooooool.

Nothing is sweeter than revenge if you've been ripped off. You'll laugh about for years to come rather than feel crap every time u think about it.

[tommybhill]

In my opinion, any one who can leave their wife alone for more than 3 months is not entitled to expect anything more then you got. Marriage is designed for 2 people to care and love each other, and not make unreasonable demands on the partner. To my way of thinking 13 months is outrageously over the top and you are totally responsable for the breakup.

what if you have to work away for more than 3 months at a time? is just under 4 months acceptable? but you draw the line at 6 months. you're a gimp. If you love someone it shouldn't matter how long you're away from each other.

I planned on returning earlier but as I explained she completely vanished

[nickcar]

I would like to add to my post. If your wife was truly faithfull to you during 4 six month separations then she is a gem, and you have treated her despicably. You should find a way to make amends.

I am very puzzled by the general attitude that she has behaved badly. i doubt if there is any women in the world who would put up with this. 50 years ago maybe, but not now days.

[tommybhill]

I would like to add to my post. If your wife was truly faithfull to you during 4 six month separations then she is a gem, and you have treated her despicably. You should find a way to make amends.

I am very puzzled by the general attitude that she has behaved badly. i doubt if there is any women in the world who would put up with this. 50 years ago maybe, but not now days.

oh do bore off lizard.

We originally spent over 2 years together, its not like we got married and I said "right im off to work for 6 months"

No one cares what you think

[ThaiWai]

I just wanted to share one thing. My divorce was a long expensive horrible experience the eventually became the best thing that ever happened to me. After your health your most valuable asset is time. Get out as fast as you possibly can.

[nithisa78]

Peace. Too bad. Lack of discernment.

What you are talking about is all temporal.

The help and advise you seek. Its in your heart. You won't find it of all places on TV.

Evidence of lack of discernment that you even try. Slow up mate. We've all taken a hit or two.

God is there, you can get there too.

[catman20]

for a start MARRIED why ? forget that crap. very difficult to trust anyone for that amount of time away from each other. put it down to a bad experience WALK AWAY and NEVER GET MARRIED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ozyjon]

She speak good Englich

[misterphil]

Are you legally married at an Amphur?

If yes, get a lawyer for a divorce.

If you were one of those idiots that thought they got married at a village ceremony then just forget her, and the Thai mans kid.

[Stevemercer]

In my opinion, any one who can leave their wife alone for more than 3 months is not entitled to expect anything more then you got. Marriage is designed for 2 people to care and love each other, and not make unreasonable demands on the partner. To my way of thinking 13 months is outrageously over the top and you are totally responsable for the breakup.

I don't quite understand this point. Blokes in the armed services are often away on deployment for 12 moths or more. Merchant seaman are away for months at a time. Thai couples are often split for one or two years while one works overseas. It is not an unusual situation

[aronp1]

Get a divorce and if you want to remarry, marry someone in your own country since you can't or don't want to live in Thailand. Probably something you should have thought of before.

[mercman24]

never ever think of going back even to visit my friend, you will never be heard off again, trust me.one of my close friends had a farm in chang rai,2 years ago he revisited (works in the uk), to be told by his wifes brothers, leave now or be buried on the farm.

[Kannikapor88]

Forget her, tommy. Let her "enjoy" life with her new drunken thai man - she will soon see what she lost ... Sorry about your dogs but dont go near that house or anything can happen ... Her new boy will be waiting with half the village and some more ... he would never deal with you alone, its not thai style ...

[landslide]

If the marriage is over (and it sounds like it is), hire a lawyer and file for divorce immediately. Assets and liabilities accrued during the marriage are split 50/50. If she incurs any debts between now and the finalization of the divorce, you could be on the hook for half. Protect yourself.

[Farang tuk pla]

I think (thai) women change their mind alot. When ever i am out with my thai i watch her as she reads the whole menu for 20 minutes, changes her mind 3-5 times then keeps a menu on the table.

[connda]

First three wives all cheated, and I divorced them all. Gut wrenching! All of them.

But, staying with a women who has blatantly lied and used you, and then had someone else's kid? It's time to go bro'! I feel your pain. Really. No joke.

"You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free"
-- Paul Simon: Fifty ways to leave your lover

[connda]

I have lived all over the world and seen similar tragic events everywhere, but nowhere are the numbers even close to Thailand. Somehow, though, I am continually amazed at the tales of woe coming from TV posters. It is a veritable soap opera of bad judgement and ill-conceived emotion. Why be so stupid? Have you never had a real relationship with a woman--and that goes for the ones who claim they were taken to the cleaners by their Western wives as well as the ones who were cuckolded by their Eastern wives? Are you so totally blinded by the international brown spot you simply cannot see the situation objectively? Then, you compound your ignorance by hanging your embarrassing laundry on the line for all to see. There must be a major flaw in the character of expats living here.

It's just that Thai woman are so damn sexy! How can we resist them?

Red-blooded male farangs don't need to resist them. Just don't marry them.

And stop being gullible! Understand "The Game". Almost all my wife's girlfriends including female family members have more than one relationship going at the same time. Some are playing one or two farang at at time. Some are playing a paying farang with a Thai B/F on the side. Some are playing multiple farangs, and maybe a Thai B/F on the side. It is common in a certain socio-economic strata of women here in Thailand. For those who may disagree with me, you just fooling yourself. I'm speaking from direct experience and know many of these gals myself. It is common in The Land of Adulteress Smiles.

Edited August 31, 2015 by connda

[ggt]

I have lived all over the world and seen similar tragic events everywhere, but nowhere are the numbers even close to Thailand. Somehow, though, I am continually amazed at the tales of woe coming from TV posters. It is a veritable soap opera of bad judgement and ill-conceived emotion. Why be so stupid? Have you never had a real relationship with a woman--and that goes for the ones who claim they were taken to the cleaners by their Western wives as well as the ones who were cuckolded by their Eastern wives? Are you so totally blinded by the international brown spot you simply cannot see the situation objectively? Then, you compound your ignorance by hanging your embarrassing laundry on the line for all to see. There must be a major flaw in the character of expats living here.

There must be a major flaw in the character of expats living here.

Certainly there can be no shame or blame contributed to the adulterous Thai women...Expats should know better...not be so trusting and gullible...in a country were relationships are a fleeting as soapy masseuse after receiving her pay...

[Torrens54]

Has often been said:

"If children had as much fun in Infancy, as Adults do in Adultery........ we'd Never Grow Up !"

[ggt]

In my opinion, any one who can leave their wife alone for more than 3 months is not entitled to expect anything more then you got. Marriage is designed for 2 people to care and love each other, and not make unreasonable demands on the partner. To my way of thinking 13 months is outrageously over the top and you are totally responsable for the breakup.

Obviously, you have never served in the military and been deployed overseas...

It is not unreasonable to ask a "loving" wife to wait for the husband to return from a job away from home...

[ZuluSixNine]

Shouldn't this type of thread start with " A friend of mine has this problem with his wife etc..."

[Lukecan]

I have spoken to her today on Skype.

Just to clarify she has her own career and I never sent her money from overseas. We agreed on that towards the beginning of the relationship.

She seems to be in a world of pain right now and seems genuinely sorry. She's claiming it was a big mistake. I do almost feel sorry for her, almost.

Don't worry gents i'm not that stupid.

Thanks for the sound advice from the vast majority of you, I know what I have to do

Cheers

You've been cucked and you almost feel sorry for her? Sounds like you have a very weak spot, halt all communications and file a divorce. If you don't mind her cucking you then continue with the relationship, she'll probably entertain more dicks on the side.