She Went Stateside

[Ghostnigel]

So are you just living alone in her house, in the middle of nowhere in Thailand? Sounds to me like it's time to move on - she might have used you for a Green Card, but she's working to provide a better life for her kids and letting you stay in her house. It sounds like the relationship is over, so why not move out of the village and look for a fresh start elsewhere? It doesn't sound like you have anything to lose.

Try reading the opening post again....you will find he's already done that.

[CrummyJuggler]

He has no money. There or here. Green card is all he offered. She is the one working, trying to improve things. Good for her.

Yeah, I'm buying another house with the money I don't have.

You said she supported you in the time between you quit working and started earning your pension. If you had money why would she be supporting you? Your words say you retired with nothing and were waiting for your pension to kick in. No money No honey.

[StaffsShot]

you gave her everything she wanted...unfortunately i don't think you were something she wanted but just a stepping stone...

Excellent post, sadly for many it is the truth......

Yes unfortunately this does appear to be what's happened. I'm sorry to hear of any relationship breaking up.

Good luck in the future Gonsalvis and good health.

[CrummyJuggler]

He has no money. There or here. Green card is all he offered. She is the one working, trying to improve things. Good for her.

Yeah, I'm buying another house with the money I don't have.

Sure, buy another house. Isn't one whole paragraph of your misery post devoted to how much you suffer making repairs to the house you already have? And how making 3 repairs to your house is so terrible and not your idea of retirement?? And now you spend a whopping 2,000 baht to share a house with someone else now? Your sound like a real loser to me. What did she get out of your marriage? Not much since she moved on and is doing it herself. Oh well, maybe try harder next life.

[canarysun]

Why do so many farangs have to have a wife or girl friend ..? There are plenty of Thai ladies and so no need to get involved which will lead to financial complications.......

The answer is i guess is that most farangs cannot live alone ( the most expensive problem in the world..)

I am 51 single,never been married and no kids and although i don't have much money i can do what i want ( most of the time...)

F.J x

[MaeJoMTB]

you gave her everything she wanted...unfortunately i don't think you were something she wanted but just a stepping stone...

Excellent post, sadly for many it is the truth......

Yep, OPs been used and abused.

We've all been there, just forget it and move on, Thailand has a limitless number of available girls in their 30s.

[fvw53]

Are you scared Donald Trump will win the elections ?

Would it not be possible that you stay with her in the States?

Not Ever.

[nithisa78]

I guess you missed something very glaring. I'm sorry. Have faith and courage and knock off the expectations. That's the breeding ground of regrets.

We have given up something of ourselves because we love someone else more. This is the great gift. Someone may see what it is we've done and it gives them the courage to do more.

The quiet voice of a gentle someone telling us what we ought to know.

To become great we first must become good.

Edited September 8, 2015 by nithisa78

[TheGhostWithin]

If , at the end stage of her plan. Will she decide to divorce and get half of everything you own in the States? I hope not.

First stop social services for money free legal aid and then go after half of what you own. Of course any money social services advances her they want back from you.

If you married her in the US, just remember you own half of her business too. You may not be as poor as you think you are.

[Mothman]

Well, enjoy the sweet lemonade!

You'll do fine on your own or if need be, someone else. Just don't get married this time around as you are married to TV.

You know that you are too old for her and if for once you ever thought its love, you are delusional!

I have not been a member for long but only just recently. But I do read topics that caught my attention or when I need to seek information from learned members.

If I remember correctly, in one posting you mentioned that she initiates the sex most times or somewhere along that lines.

You had even mentioned that she's a very smart person. Thus no surprise that she left you because she's smart and I applaud her.

I have to disagree with some posters who are quick to assumed that it has been her plan all along, or you were used and had been scammed by a devious woman.

No, you weren't cheated as you knew it wasn't love all along it was an agreed arrangement that suited you both then. Smart woman that she is, she realised you are about to reach your used by date.

Anyway, you are happily married to TVF and maybe...just maybe, been spending way too much time here.

Look at the bright side, move on and live the remaining days of your life, away from the internet unless necessary and live your life to the fullest. You'll find someone as a companion or whatever you need them to be.

Just don't invest any time living with a fallacy that many sad old men with a young wife has.

Seen too many happened and it's always the Thai women's to be blamed.

Truth is they are living in a fantasy land and that fantasy will end.

Move on and be strong of heart, and please forget those child of hers.

The sun will still shine for you!

Cheers

[StaffsShot]

I aren't going t.o give ' mothman ' ( what an apt name) the honour of quoting his post, but he sounds a bitter person indeed.

Sounds like he's been stung himself in the past, by choosing the wrong girl

[Mrjlh]

You had best contact a lawyer, either here or stateside right away. You need to get on top of this as soon as possible as some else has stated. If not you are headed for a whole lot of trouble. Take care of it and walk away.

[connda]

Wait until she gets her American Attorney! "Honey, I want a divorce and I want half of everything you have." Sucks to be you.

I keep my wife in Thailand.

Edited September 8, 2015 by connda

[connda]

If any aspect of her green card application was fraudulent it could be revoked, similarly, green cards tend to have conditions and reviews built in, something perhaps to be aware of.

You live in Thailand and she lives and works in the US. Isn't that pushing US immigration fraud, especially with the green card? I thought to get a US marriage visa it is implied that you will be living together in the US?

[Mrjlh]

If any aspect of her green card application was fraudulent it could be revoked, similarly, green cards tend to have conditions and reviews built in, something perhaps to be aware of.

You live in Thailand and she lives and works in the US. Isn't that pushing US immigration fraud, especially with the green card? I thought to get a US marriage visa it is implied that you will be living together in the US?

That's an interesting point. I read that the law specficaly states the first trwo years you must live together. And if they have not then her green card can be revoked. Time to come clean on the "real" story here. Because all you need to do is report her and she's done. So why haven't you done this OP instead of crying about it?

[Time Traveller]

If any aspect of her green card application was fraudulent it could be revoked, similarly, green cards tend to have conditions and reviews built in, something perhaps to be aware of.

You live in Thailand and she lives and works in the US. Isn't that pushing US immigration fraud, especially with the green card? I thought to get a US marriage visa it is implied that you will be living together in the US?

It seems the only person responsible if fraud is the case is the OP. No where in the story did she do anything fraudulent and it seems she lived up to the agreement.

He was the one that fled to thailand and didn't want to return to the US.

Edited September 8, 2015 by Time Traveller

[connda]

If any aspect of her green card application was fraudulent it could be revoked, similarly, green cards tend to have conditions and reviews built in, something perhaps to be aware of.

You live in Thailand and she lives and works in the US. Isn't that pushing US immigration fraud, especially with the green card? I thought to get a US marriage visa it is implied that you will be living together in the US?

It seems the only person responsible if fraud is the case is the OP. No where in the story did she do anything fraudulent and it seems she lived up to the agreement.

He was the one that fled to thailand and didn't want to return to the US.

It takes two to tango.

[MyFriend You]

I don't see anywhere he said he was married to her, the children are her's, he built the house for her.........net stop, Pattaya I'd say.

[MyFriend You]

Sounds like she will be paying you alimony if you get divorced in California. I am sure you can

work out a buyout of the house in Thailand with this hanging over her head.

Not always true, I got divorced in California, no alimony, I kept the house, she got all the contents (furntiture) under the community property state laws. It was an amicable "Dissolution of marraige" uncontested, no kids, no pets.

[NOC]

I feel for the OP since he has understandably grown close to the girls in the absence of their mum. However, she is probably already married to, or deeply involved with some other guy in the US so pulling the plug on house maintenance in Thailand and fleeing the coop isn't going to bother her too much. Bear in mind they are her kids and they are almost certainly likely to go with her if/when it comes to the crunch.

If you feel like divorcing to save what little you have, you would need to consider where you were married. If in the US, you would have to go back and face all what that entails but much easier here. All you need to do is 'disappear' for while, ensuring all contacts are broken and then sue for a local divorce on grounds of separation. When was the last time you physically met or heard from her? You may be able to kick-start the divorce proceedings today.

Maybe she is aware of the rules. She comes to Thailand slightly more than once a year. She just drops in. Sex has been eliminated by her. I am hoping that since she does not know where I am, visits will be eliminated. She calls once in a while.

Sometimes the best defense is a good offense.

If it were me being played like a banjo at a Kentucky hoe down, I'd find a ruthless divorce attorney and initiate proceedings before she does.

You should get half of everything she owns in the US. Tell her to factor that cost into her green card, and if she doesn't like it, you're attorney can start an investigation into it's status.

Martindale.com is your friend. http://www.martindale.com/

Edited September 8, 2015 by NOC

[captspectre]

Ahhh well.......youre free again.

Best of luck.

she is working on her U.S. citizenship! you were just a tool! get over it! by the way you don't own the house, as you are a foreigner she can evict you by proxy anytime she wants!

no sympthay here!

[captspectre]

If any aspect of her green card application was fraudulent it could be revoked, similarly, green cards tend to have conditions and reviews built in, something perhaps to be aware of.

You live in Thailand and she lives and works in the US. Isn't that pushing US immigration fraud, especially with the green card? I thought to get a US marriage visa it is implied that you will be living together in the US?

the green card was issued for her to travel to the U.S. being married was the only requirement. she can noe turn around and get a divorce from you because of "desertion"! why are you not in the U.S. with her? that is what the judge will ask. she has you my the balls!

[JeffreyO]

I'm going to admit that I didn't read the entire thread but you sound like you probably didn't treat her well. You also sound like you let her live there for years on her own. You had enough time to meet other girls and to rent places with them.

Have you ever considered that you might be the problem as much as her?

[Lex Talionis]

What to do about this?

I have told her I am moving out and will not make or pay for anymore maintenance on the house. I have a 'friend' that I share a small house for 2000 Baht a month. Leaves me a lot of spare cash to tour now.

My initial reaction was: great idea moving out of the house. But then I thought - what about the girls? What's happened to them? Who's watching over them?

And what's their reaction to the whole situation? Are they happy about The prospect of moving stateside to live with mom? What's their feeling about you in this whole mess?

Sorry about your plight. And please do ignore the knuckleheads who try to turn the tables and declare (with unconcealed glee) "it must be you!" That's a standard pathetic ploy of the bitter old men brigade.

Good luck.

[walt1953]

Somebody wrote that she is working on her US citizenship. Not so easy.

She came to US sponsored by husband US citizen. She got temporary green card valid 2 years. When this card expires she needs to apply for permanent green card. They both have to go to immigration and proof that they are still married . They need have pictures together and also have affidavit from person who knows them.

She will have big problem to get permanent green card not mention applying for citizenship She can do it after 5 years after getting permanent green card. Question How she can get permanent green card then?

Her taxes are another problem .

OP doesn't commit any freud . She is responsible for her taxes, he doesn't live in US and did not sign any tax return. If she puts his name on her tax return knowing that husband doesn't live with her , she has a problem not OP

He is retired and I think IRS knows that

[amykat]

Her taxes are another problem .

OP doesn't commit any freud . She is responsible for her taxes, he doesn't live in US and did not sign any tax return. If she puts his name on her tax return knowing that husband doesn't live with her , she has a problem not OP

He is retired and I think IRS knows that

Sorry Walt, but what you say about taxes is WRONG. There are some very particular circumstances under which one can avoid responsibility for a spouse's tax cheating if you have taken all those measures and met all the requirements. It is not an easy standard to meet.

Doubtful the OP has even thought about this, or like you, can't see how or why he "would be" responsible.

And why would you assume he "didn't sign any tax return"???? And why would being retired relieve you of tax responsibilities??? Not living in the US? Also, makes no matter ...you don't have a single fact or legal issue, correct in your post!

[Time Traveller]

What to do about this?

I have told her I am moving out and will not make or pay for anymore maintenance on the house. I have a 'friend' that I share a small house for 2000 Baht a month. Leaves me a lot of spare cash to tour now.

My initial reaction was: great idea moving out of the house. But then I thought - what about the girls? What's happened to them? Who's watching over them?

And what's their reaction to the whole situation? Are they happy about The prospect of moving stateside to live with mom? What's their feeling about you in this whole mess?

Sorry about your plight. And please do ignore the knuckleheads who try to turn the tables and declare (with unconcealed glee) "it must be you!" That's a standard pathetic ploy of the bitter old men brigade.

Good luck.

Perhaps the OP can explain why he went ahead to get his wife a green card if all along he wanted to live in Thailand? The OP makes no sense.

As the OP stated, his wife said she wanted to work in the US, and she is doing precisely that....There is no evidence whatsoever from the OP that she engaged in any fraud or that she is anything other than a good mother and wife supporting both her children and her husband at one point. The fact he lives in Thailand and moved into another house with a "friend", how is that the fault of his wife???

Oh, and Lex, the only knucklehead is you pal.

[Straight8]

you gave her everything she wanted...unfortunately i don't think you were something she wanted but just a stepping stone...

Excellent post, sadly for many it is the truth......

I know a guy who's up to "now you need to buy me and my son a house" stage.

And it all started when this said 55 year old met this 25 year old.

And yes sad indeed, as they haven't learnt from past experiences [or other's warnings] and seems the masses who come here still don't learn.

[KOZMO]

you gave her everything she wanted...unfortunately i don't think you were something she wanted but just a stepping stone...

She had her plans, saw you coming, and played you!!!! AMAZING THAILAND

[Lex Talionis]

What to do about this?

I have told her I am moving out and will not make or pay for anymore maintenance on the house. I have a 'friend' that I share a small house for 2000 Baht a month. Leaves me a lot of spare cash to tour now.

My initial reaction was: great idea moving out of the house. But then I thought - what about the girls? What's happened to them? Who's watching over them?

And what's their reaction to the whole situation? Are they happy about The prospect of moving stateside to live with mom? What's their feeling about you in this whole mess?

Sorry about your plight. And please do ignore the knuckleheads who try to turn the tables and declare (with unconcealed glee) "it must be you!" That's a standard pathetic ploy of the bitter old men brigade.

Good luck.

Perhaps the OP can explain why he went ahead to get his wife a green card if all along he wanted to live in Thailand? The OP makes no sense.

As the OP stated, his wife said she wanted to work in the US, and she is doing precisely that....There is no evidence whatsoever from the OP that she engaged in any fraud or that she is anything other than a good mother and wife supporting both her children and her husband at one point. The fact he lives in Thailand and moved into another house with a "friend", how is that the fault of his wife???

Oh, and Lex, the only knucklehead is you pal.

You already said all that. The weaker your footing the more fiercely you defend it. Pal.

It's called a snap judgement. You read a couple of posts by the OP and suddenly you got his situation all figured out. Then you see fit to start pointing your finger at him, playing the blame game. Here's a guy that got himself in a situation and feels desperate enough about it to risk sharing his story on a public forum, in the hope there might be some older hands, more experienced in Thai ways, who could offer some constructive advice. He has 2 adopted daughters that he feels close to and that complicates the situation greatly. He can't just walk away without considerable emotional fallout,

Then a knucklehead - yeah knucklehead - like you comes along with the brilliant, simpleminded observation that it's all his fault. The man's down and, like some kind of Thai chav, you see fit to sneak in a kick to the head.

Human emotions are complex, as are the corners they sometimes paint us into, and I'm sure there's blame enough to go around on both sides, if blame there must be. But must there be? Give the man a break and if you can't offer up something constructive, at least keep.yer yap shut.

Oh and don't give me no bullshit about "tough love" or "strong medicine." There's a time and place for that. Right now he seems to have abandoned the thread & I don't blame him.

I wish him luck.