Thais Judging Thais

[Typingdog]

I sympathise with your wife for being so badly hurt but I must speak honestly and say that I feel much of her pain was caused by yourself. I think you should have known better than to go into a upmarket hotel dressed the way you were...was it not just asking for trouble?..I would assume that a lot of hotels much prefer "neat dress" and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. There are plenty of establishments around for very casual attire where it does not stand out and fits in with the surroundings.

Nice view lol not like my comment. Totally rubbish.

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[duckmandon]

I had the same experience in Phuket with my then girlfriend who is now my wife. We were staying at a well known hotel & had been there for about 2 days. We had just returned from a day sightseeing & as we passed the reception my wife was questioned by a staff member regarding her being a bar girl. It upset her, as she is not, so I called the manager & complained about their staff members attitude. Again a higher than mighty attitude by her thinking she was better than my wife & willing to embarress her in front of other guests. The staff member was also embarressed as she had to openly apologise fo her rudeness. BTW we got free drinks at the bar that night.

[Veeke]

Thank you kowpot for bringing this up. Being judgemental is universal - every society nurtures their own stigmas against certain others through real examples and stories - unfortunately we are all victims like this here or there..... I think instead of channelising our anger on this Thai person, we should hate branding people, being judgemental against other groups - be it racial, religious or geographical.

One more point - the people at hospitality business - whether in hotels or in transport including flights should be disqualified for such behaviour

[Fabricus]

Thais are generally much better at spotting sex workers (or former sex workers) than we foreigners.

I noticed that very early in my time here.

Ridiculous, speak for yourself.

Edit: It shouldn't be so. If you've spent, lets say 10 years here, but even less, you should, assuming you have integrated somewhat and speak the language, have a reasonable judgement of these things.

Dude, only a year or so and these things should be becoming apparent, although I know in experience from meeting other westerners and reading this forum that a lot of guys live here for years without a clue.

If you ever have any doubts, look at the farang accompanying the girl.

[1FinickyOne]

Sorry for the incident. I think it was a bit unusual though certainly not unheard of… sometimes this can happen.

I was once treated poorly in a hotel in Singapore. We had just checked out and I was sitting in the lobby waiting for our ride to the airport… I dozed off in the chair and was awoken by a security guard who threatened to throw me out if i dozed off again.

But you have a right to be angry and I hope you did not stay. I would not go overboard and condemn the entire Thai race of people. Just the arrogant jerk manager is enough.

[seancbk]

I'm sorry the OP's wife had the experience too, but personally I would have felt very under dressed in that particular hotel (I know/knew it well).

[bazza40]

There are quite a few Thai males who give a new insight into the term " male chauvinist pig ". As a result, a lot of Thai women prefer falangs, because they are treated better. And the falang is more likely to be a good provider than some drunk, abusive gambler.

Personally, I don't give a shit about Thai attitudes to me and my Thai g/f - life's too short to worry about such cretins.

[villagefarang]

Clearly the OP should never have put his wife in that situation but people often forget to think before they act. If you don’t play by the rules you may suffer the consequences and it is after all Thailand, so they make the rules.

If one is inappropriately attired but nonetheless wants to enter an establishment with a dress code, I would suggest talking with someone on the way in. Acknowledge your lack of decorum and ask if there is any way they could accommodate you by finding a discreet table where you would be less conspicuous.

[Cypress Hill]

I sympathise with your wife for being so badly hurt but I must speak honestly and say that I feel much of her pain was caused by yourself. I think you should have known better than to go into a upmarket hotel dressed the way you were...was it not just asking for trouble?..I would assume that a lot of hotels much prefer "neat dress" and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. There are plenty of establishments around for very casual attire where it does not stand out and fits in with the surroundings.

What on earth are you talking about?

Bangkok, high noon, hot as hell - you think none of that hotel's female guests would have been wearing shorts, trainers and T-shirts?

There was absolutely nothing inappropriate about his wife's attire.

Fair enough they'd been in a London hotel on a crisp Autumn afternoon but they weren't, were they?

No, that restaurant manager's attitude was deplorable.

[LivinLOS]

I guess at this point I should point out that my wife is a Thai national with citizenship in Thailand and the United States. She has never been a working girl. She is a graduate of Mahasarkam Univerisity

Dark Skin ?? North eastern features ??

Add in shorts and walking with a (possibly) hot sweaty farang who seems like a tourist and 2+2=4..

Thais Judge.. So do farangs but differently.. Who cares..

[Gecko123]

I sympathise with your wife for being so badly hurt but I must speak honestly and say that I feel much of her pain was caused by yourself. I think you should have known better than to go into a upmarket hotel dressed the way you were...was it not just asking for trouble?..I would assume that a lot of hotels much prefer "neat dress" and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. There are plenty of establishments around for very casual attire where it does not stand out and fits in with the surroundings.

What on earth are you talking about?

Bangkok, high noon, hot as hell - you think none of that hotel's female guests would have been wearing shorts, trainers and T-shirts?

There was absolutely nothing inappropriate about his wife's attire.

Fair enough they'd been in a London hotel on a crisp Autumn afternoon but they weren't, were they?

No, that restaurant manager's attitude was deplorable.

Lots of bars and restaurants in Bangkok have a 'smart casual' dress code. The lobby level bar in the Shangri-la Hotel is one example.

Edited September 7, 2015 by Gecko123

[Fabricus]

Clearly the OP should never have put his wife in that situation but people often forget to think before they act. If you don’t play by the rules you may suffer the consequences and it is after all Thailand, so they make the rules.

If one is inappropriately attired but nonetheless wants to enter an establishment with a dress code, I would suggest talking with someone on the way in. Acknowledge your lack of decorum and ask if there is any way they could accommodate you by finding a discreet table where you would be less conspicuous.

This is actually a very good post.

[carter1882]

I didnt meet my wife in a bar. She met me in a bar.

[Jenny Adara]

it was probably just a misunderstanding, many big hotels like the Erawan and four seasons try to maintain a good status, but in the lobbies and hotel bars the prostitutes are always loitering, even dressing up with designer clothes they are trying to catch a rich traveler or business man. Perhaps the staff only spotted her sitting alone, or thought she was a bar girl looking for her next jump because they must get a lot of them. She should responded quickly and efficiently to the manager and ensured him she was not, but she understands his concern at trying to keep the hotel in a respectable order.

[Capt Rob]

You touched on a good point Kowpot….a lot of guys come on here asking how they can score a 'good' girlfriend…Ive always taken that to mean one who isn't a hooker part time or full time.

Truth is, a lot of thai gals who fall into that category won't entertain any overtures from farangs simply because their friends will think they have turned into hookers….a thai female architect fm bkk once told me that.

Pretty hard for anyone to suffer this insult however Thailand is not the only place where this might happen. A old friend in Australia once related what his dad once told him - " I am not responsible for what people think about me" - - this of course means regardless of what you do or do not do, people will think what they wish to think.

Thai girls have their own likes and preferences maybe less or more than the 'western gals' . Have mixed with ladies here who were educated and "connected" ( business-wise ) without issue and others who were embarrassed by a colleague who commented to her that I wore "shabby shoes " which I told her said more about Thai outlook in that region than my shoes.

I laughed it off very easily because I come from elsewhere, but understand the hurt the OP's wife felt. All part of the drawn-out process of joining the folk with a wider perspective.

[benalibina]

Clearly the OP should never have put his wife in that situation but people often forget to think before they act. If you dont play by the rules you may suffer the consequences and it is after all Thailand, so they make the rules.

If one is inappropriately attired but nonetheless wants to enter an establishment with a dress code, I would suggest talking with someone on the way in. Acknowledge your lack of decorum and ask if there is any way they could accommodate you by finding a discreet table where you would be less conspicuous.

This is actually a very good post.

No it is not. Confirmation of ....shallowness.....

[Cypress Hill]

I sympathise with your wife for being so badly hurt but I must speak honestly and say that I feel much of her pain was caused by yourself. I think you should have known better than to go into a upmarket hotel dressed the way you were...was it not just asking for trouble?..I would assume that a lot of hotels much prefer "neat dress" and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. There are plenty of establishments around for very casual attire where it does not stand out and fits in with the surroundings.

What on earth are you talking about?

Bangkok, high noon, hot as hell - you think none of that hotel's female guests would have been wearing shorts, trainers and T-shirts?

There was absolutely nothing inappropriate about his wife's attire.

Fair enough they'd been in a London hotel on a crisp Autumn afternoon but they weren't, were they?

No, that restaurant manager's attitude was deplorable.

Lots of bars and restaurants in Bangkok have a 'smart casual' dress code. The lobby level bar in the Shangri-la Hotel is one example.

The Queen's Imperial on Sukhumvit soi 22 isn't one of them.

Caters to the Indian package tour demographic

[Fabricus]

Clearly the OP should never have put his wife in that situation but people often forget to think before they act. If you dont play by the rules you may suffer the consequences and it is after all Thailand, so they make the rules.

If one is inappropriately attired but nonetheless wants to enter an establishment with a dress code, I would suggest talking with someone on the way in. Acknowledge your lack of decorum and ask if there is any way they could accommodate you by finding a discreet table where you would be less conspicuous.

This is actually a very good post.

No it is not. Confirmation of ....shallowness.....

No, no, no, and a million more nos.

I don't know this Village Farang guy. I know he has a a beautiful house in Chiang Rai, but I don't know him.

I also know that on this occasion he's right. I really can't be bothered to go into detail. I will not give examples. Mr Village Farang is right.

As the legendary master (Professor Trink) might have written "nuff said"!

[kowpot]

I sympathise with your wife for being so badly hurt but I must speak honestly and say that I feel much of her pain was caused by yourself. I think you should have known better than to go into a upmarket hotel dressed the way you were...was it not just asking for trouble?..I would assume that a lot of hotels much prefer "neat dress" and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. There are plenty of establishments around for very casual attire where it does not stand out and fits in with the surroundings.

You are probably right. But, let me ask you this. Do you think if I was with a Western woman or a woman from anywhere else for that matter this would have happened? I think not. To me, it looked like he was trying to make a statement. Thai women walks in off the street with a Farang can only mean one thing. Just for information. For what it's worth, there is a seven year difference in our age. So, it doesn't look that different in ages. At the time I was 52.

[Berkshire]

I sympathise with your wife for being so badly hurt but I must speak honestly and say that I feel much of her pain was caused by yourself. I think you should have known better than to go into a upmarket hotel dressed the way you were...was it not just asking for trouble?..I would assume that a lot of hotels much prefer "neat dress" and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. There are plenty of establishments around for very casual attire where it does not stand out and fits in with the surroundings.

You are probably right. But, let me ask you this. Do you think if I was with a Western woman or a woman from anywhere else for that matter this would have happened? I think not. To me, it looked like he was trying to make a statement. Thai women walks in off the street with a Farang can only mean one thing. Just for information. For what it's worth, there is a seven year difference in our age. So, it doesn't look that different in ages. At the time I was 52.

You should realize that in many tourist areas in Thailand, most Thai women with farangs are in fact, hookers. So people making that assumption in these areas would be right most of the time. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but it's just the way it is. And if these women are dressed the way bargirls are typically dressed...what do you expect? A Thai woman who dresses and behaves smartly would typically not be accused, even if she was with a farang.

[Ghostnigel]

Wow.

Shocking.

I'm shocked.

I really am.

This insight into true Thainess is, really, quite shocking.

You seem shocked...you don't look shocked...shocking.

[CHRISTIANa9]

I'm surprise the wife who live a big part of her life in U.S. Is so timid. I would expect her to stand her ground. This a troll?

[nidieunimaitre]

Clearly the OP should never have put his wife in that situation but people often forget to think before they act. If you don’t play by the rules you may suffer the consequences and it is after all Thailand, so they make the rules.

If one is inappropriately attired but nonetheless wants to enter an establishment with a dress code, I would suggest talking with someone on the way in. Acknowledge your lack of decorum and ask if there is any way they could accommodate you by finding a discreet table where you would be less conspicuous.

This post could have been written by an old man in the 1960s.

[Berkshire]

I'm surprise the wife who live a big part of her life in U.S. Is so timid. I would expect her to stand her ground. This a troll?

Good point. And a 45 yr old woman at that. Hard to imagine a younger Thai guy disrespecting an older woman like that.

[metisdead]

Offensive posts and replies have been removed.

[kowpot]

I'm surprise the wife who live a big part of her life in U.S. Is so timid. I would expect her to stand her ground. This a troll?

I am not one to troll on these forums.

[Typingdog]

I sympathise with your wife for being so badly hurt but I must speak honestly and say that I feel much of her pain was caused by yourself. I think you should have known better than to go into a upmarket hotel dressed the way you were...was it not just asking for trouble?..I would assume that a lot of hotels much prefer "neat dress" and there is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. There are plenty of establishments around for very casual attire where it does not stand out and fits in with the surroundings.

You are probably right. But, let me ask you this. Do you think if I was with a Western woman or a woman from anywhere else for that matter this would have happened? I think not. To me, it looked like he was trying to make a statement. Thai women walks in off the street with a Farang can only mean one thing. Just for information. For what it's worth, there is a seven year difference in our age. So, it doesn't look that different in ages. At the time I was 52.

You should realize that in many tourist areas in Thailand, most Thai women with farangs are in fact, hookers. So people making that assumption in these areas would be right most of the time. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but it's just the way it is. And if these women are dressed the way bargirls are typically dressed...what do you expect? A Thai woman who dresses and behaves smartly would typically not be accused, even if she was with a farang.

Now we should discuss the way hooker is

Maybe cheap looking high heel, tattoo , over sexy attire, what else? Not holding hand with her man lol

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Edited September 7, 2015 by Typingdog

[rgs2001uk]

I'm surprise the wife who live a big part of her life in U.S. Is so timid. I would expect her to stand her ground. This a troll?

My mrs took to the West like a duck to water.

Not only did she learn, not only is it ok to have an opinion, it was actually ok to express it.

Years of pent up frustration and suppressed anger came to the fore, encouraged by me, no way would my mrs take shyt off some jerked up dek serv.

[samsensam]

My experience is that Thais are extremely good at reading other Thais and that while occasionally they do misread each other, they very soon recognise their mistake.

thais are no different to anyone else, when you share nationality, culture and language with people from your home country sure you can read them. i can read read people from my homeland pretty accurately.

[Kannikapor88]

They are even xenophobic to them self ... wow, thanks for letting me see "The Golden Age of Idiocy" here in Land of slavery, dear lost Paradise ...

Sad for your wife to discover true Thainess ...