"home Town"

[Totster]

Ok...lucky me, I've been invited to visit Mom in the home town, I'm gonna go but I don't want to offend anyone etc...

So any advice, do's and don'ts, or any other words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated

Totster

[chonabot]

For starters...where is it?

[londonguy]

Make sure you take plenty of toilet roll with you! I went to G/F grannies Thai bloody shower + bog.

[tutsiwarrior]

if your GF is smart she should show you all the required moves including the wai and etc as you go along. You don't have to eat the food that they give you, the GF should simply explain that you have a stomach problem and, as a falang you should get away with it. Bring food, booze and gifts within a reasonable limit and expect to pay for meals out (usually cheap). Generosity goes a long way and to display that you are not kineow...your girlfriend should know the limits.

If when you get there the GF starts to bring people in and to say 'they shall lose their farm soon without assistance...', 'their little son has cancer but can be cured'...etc. then lose the girlfriend.

[davethailand]

what if their mothers uncles brothers wifes nieces daughter has had an accident and needs cash for hospital or they're buffalo is sick?

[Totster]

I'm going to a place near Buriram.....

What gifts are good to take.... i haven't got time to shop in Thailand as I'm flying into BKK from the uk then flying straight to Buriram

Totster

[Boo]

I wouldn't go too overboard on the gifts, just small tokens only. Ask your g/f if she has any idea, got a few suggestions the first time I met hubbys mum from other thai ladies, nice handbag, scarf from M&S, thats sort of thing but when I asked hubby, he wanted me to bring some jumpers & warm coats as it was getting cold in Khon Kaen when we went & they were more appriciated. Not sure if it would have been my choice but he knew best & after living there from January to March this year I could have done with them too. It was bloody freezing.

[tutsiwarrior]

dave...offer to pay to have the buffalo slaughtered to feed the masses of family and friends that decend on the wat for the funeral...

totster...you should see your GF before you see her family...an hour's shopping at the local Tesco will get you all that you need...t-shirts, cheap sandals, 50kg sack of rice and a case of the cheapest thai 'whiskey'

[davethailand]

in sunny ban chang (rayong) a few bottles of pipers and a case of chang does the trick. the problem is i have to get in the truck and go quickly or they get me pissed every bloody time.

my wifes family really are great.

[Totster]

dave...offer to pay to have the buffalo slaughtered to feed the masses of family and friends that decend on the wat for the funeral...

totster...you should see your GF before you see her family...an hour's shopping at the local Tesco will get you all that you need...t-shirts, cheap sandals, 50kg sack of rice and a case of the cheapest thai 'whiskey'

GF is already at home....I think they are all going to come and meet me .

[davethailand]

totster

you still have'nt said where,

don't worry about it, when you arrive in bangkok . pick up some cheap booze and cigs and then sort the rest out with your girlfriend.

don't be used as the farang that only comes to give money etc,

a gift is a gift, if its not good enough then sorry.

tutsiwarriors idea is good, if that is'nt good enough for them then you have to think about what they really want.

[tutsiwarrior]

sigh...totster, you do make it hard...

still...from the airport make the detour to tesco and get the adults comfortable in the food hall upstairs with khao man gai and some beer...then take the kids downstairs and confine them to tee-shirts and sandals...maybe buy a football that everyone can use...then go after the beer, spirits and soda and the 50kg sack of rice...summon the adults from above then proceed to the family mansion...

you gotta have the GF's cooperation on this..she should know the importance of little gifts...

[Spee]

Planning the same sort of thing next month ....

Found this link to be informative ....

http://www.simply-thai.com/thailand_page_p...re_marriage.htm

Good luck ... looking forward to a follow-up story of your adventures.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Planning the same sort of thing next month ....

Found this link to be informative ....

http://www.simply-thai.com/thailand_page_p...re_marriage.htm

Good luck ... looking forward to a follow-up story of your adventures.

And bring something for the buffalo just in case ...

[NedKelly]

gees you guys go overboard with the gift thing. Simple stuff like bunches of fruit is more than enough. If they say anything then you know that they look at you with dollar figures in their eyes and you can take that as a sure sign to hit the road jack and dont come back.

Yes my friend comes frm a similar area and when I visited there was no booze, no extravagant gifts just a few bags of fruit. It was more important that I respect the culture by visiting the local forest temple and buying some things for it......I made a contribution not the whole amount.

During my visit I was fed very well and chose to sit on the floor with the family and eat with my hand so as not to offend. You cannot sit higher than the parents when eating so respect that and sit onthe floor with them. This sort of understanding is more important than buying bottles of piss !!

[Totster]

Spee - Thanks for the link

Tutsiwarrior - When I say the Airport to meet me, I mean in Buriram, flying to BKK then flying to Buriram 1 hr after I land.

Really I just want to visit and have a good time, also I don't want to show up the GF in anyway.

Maybe I am spending too much time thinking about this, I'll just get some things, I'm sure the gesture will be appreciated

Cheers all for the advice

Totster

PS I will post and let you know how it all went !

[the gentleman]

Gifts - it could be a key ring or a few t shirts from England mate - dont spend to much - dont set yourself up for future expensive gifts. Flowers are also cheap and still the nicest thing to give to a mum.

If you read mate, take a few books, if you dont, find something to do in your "spare time" - not sure how long your staying or the area she is in (Burrilum outskirts?), but if you are a true westerner, boredom sets in after the few days of meets and greets. Good chance no UBC Tv, running water, shower or toilet and probably a matress on the floor with a mozzie net - yes being general, but a good chance of all of it being correct.

I find when I go up to my wifes village, I do a lot of fishing, sitting and eating - absolutely brilliant, but it has a time limit.

There is always the local idiot - either the drunk or the farang hater - smile and carry on, he will get put in his place by the inlaws - unless he is an inlaw

Buy a few "luxurys" before you come over or at Bangers airport - you might be a long way from anything.

Good luck - my 2 bahts worth

[tutsiwarrior]

look out for the chocolates and perfume...they might end up as ingredients for the welcoming meal of gang soom...

[32x]

First of all be pleased that she has asked you to go.Have an open mind & dont be afraid to ask your GF for advice.

Dont be shy & follow your GF like a shadow,try & get to know the male members of the family & spend time with them even if they dont speak english.

Buy a few sticks of cigs & hand them out to the smokers of the family.

I didnt buy any spirts but bought a few cases of beer.

On route to the village/town tell your GF that you want to stop at the local market to buy food,veg,fruit etc.

Also change 1,000baht or less into small change for the family members kids & there friends.The smile from a 7 year old when you have given them 20baht is priceless .Have fun

[thaihome]

No one has mentioned the string tying on the wrist thing yet. Be prepared to have a simple ceremony where the elders of the family and or village will tie white strings on your wrist and you will do the same to them. Don't worry, this is NOT A WEDDING CEREMONY. This is a common way, in parts of Issan, of greeting and giving good luck. Your GF should lead you through it. THIS IS NOT A WEDDING CEREMONY.

The only gifts we ever bring is food from roadside stands on the way to the village.

The website was very good.

TH

[Rhys]

Play it safe.. JUST SMILE... Use the metacommunication for the Hits to the wallet. Gifts...Your call, but it is the thought that most Thais will appreciate.

Low drag high speed mate

[Pink Mist]

Someone mentioned chocolate b4, I allways bring plenty with me, some smokes for grandpa, couple of bottles of Bundaberg Rum and some Baileys, they love you then.

I wouldnt worry too much about getting stuff from markets or Tesco before hand as no doubt you will be making a lot of trips there during your stay.

[pnustedt]

Have you discussed sleeping arrangements with your g/f?

It was made clear to me that I would not be able to sleep with my g/f in her village if we weren't married. So we didn't go 'till we were married. The "bed" was a concrete floor with a reed mat - our honeymoon!

Must take: Toilet rolls, mossie repellant, torch, guide books/maps, Swiss Army Knife, candy for kids (chocolate melts). What about a car to get around? - suggest you hire one or you'll be too dependant on the family (check about roads, you may need 4WD), if you're there for any time you may need to get away to a hotel for a couple of days.

As said earlier watch out for the drunk farang hater - just walk away. Let the g/f put his lights out!

[tutsiwarrior]

re pnustedt's comment and the drunk farang hater...this is a not uncommon occurance, ususally an old boyfriend or some one else that held a torch for your lady. A few hours after we checked into our hotel on the first run to visit the family a drunk appeared at our door and wanted to fight me. As I outweighed him by 50 kgs I wasn't concerned but he continued to make a nuisance and had to call hotel security and have him removed. He is a friend of the family but has not come to the house since our marriage as he has been banned by my wife and others.

The best is to walk away from trouble wherever you are...the dude described above got a figurative kick in the balls by my wife and the family for being drunk and stupid.

Don't ever raise your hand...the cops will stand behind a drunk local against a falang anyday...

[Blackandwhite]

Easy was my first trip to Buriram. I gave my GF at the time ( Now my wife ) 3000 baht, to cover taxis food ect and what drink and sweets ect we needed to offer the family, I was pissed for the whole time as the beer is so cheap and plenty was supplied. The family will want you happy so do as you please and relax. Your wife will guide you in what you need to do. Others I have met say the same just relax. Watch yer manners Eg - dont step over people sitting on the floor, touch peolples heads, or bone your GF's sisters LOL.

Have fun, one thing unless your staying a hotel you will be sleeping on the floor unless you want to buy yourself a bed .

There are some local hotels however that are about 350 baht per night. With AC and tea and coffee.

Good Luck Dude

[saowalack]

Great idea sitting on the floor with them,,,, Good practice for sitting on their BOG P<S dont try it when pissed

[think_too_mut]

No one has mentioned the string tying on the wrist thing yet.  Be prepared to have a simple ceremony where the elders of the family and or village will tie white strings on your wrist and you will do the same to them.  Don't worry, this is NOT A WEDDING CEREMONY.  This is a common way, in parts of Issan, of greeting and giving good luck.  Your GF should lead you through it.  THIS IS NOT A WEDDING CEREMONY.

It's actually a ceremony that allows you to sleep in the same room with the girl. Not a wedding, sure, but family's acknowledgement of the relationship.

Takes what, 5-10 mins, if that.

For how long have you known her? Not your last trip barfine? It is important to know.

Edit: The question is for the original poster.

[tutsiwarrior]

the remark regarding 'boneing' the wife's sisters is cogent to this discussion...you never think that you would find an ass more beautiful than your wife's until you see the younger sister that has hidden in rice paddies and has never seen a falang before...

of course...an indescretion in this regard will mobilize the ducks quicker than you can say quack, quack...

[chonabot]

the remark regarding 'boneing' the wife's sisters is cogent to this discussion...you never think that you would find an ass more beautiful than your wife's until you see the younger sister that has hidden in rice paddies and has never seen a falang before...

of course...an indescretion in this regard will mobilize the ducks quicker than you can say quack, quack...

Yep , or in my case , the wife's THREE younger sisters.......

[Nam Kao]

re pnustedt's comment and the drunk farang hater...this is a not uncommon occurance, ususally an old boyfriend or some one else that held a torch for your lady. A few hours after we checked into our hotel on the first run to visit the family a drunk appeared at our door and wanted to fight me. As I outweighed him by 50  kgs I wasn't concerned  but he continued to make a nuisance and had to call hotel security and have him removed. He is a friend of the family but has not come to the house since our marriage as he has been banned by my wife and others.

The best is to walk away from trouble wherever you are...the dude described above got a figurative kick in the balls by my wife and the family for being drunk and stupid.

Don't ever raise your hand...the cops will stand behind a drunk local against a falang anyday...

Good advise Tutsi,

Do not fight - win or lose - you will only lose.

If you lose the fight you could lose your life. The Thai fights I seen have the

winner leaving the loser unconcious. No gentleman like rules like back home.

The winner will usually go the extra mile by kicking the downed fighters head in

and and even grabbing something nearby like a hammer or a bat and mercilessly beat

the poor bugger. The lucky downed fighter will have the winners friends pulling

him off him ( a major macho face winner for thai guys somehow).

God forbid you win the fight. He will have lost major face and he WILL exact

revenge on you the next time he gets loaded or tweeked on yaba. He will this

time return with a weapon and many friends.

But if you have no choice, no place to run, give the guy the worst beating you

can dish out. Act SUPER crazy. He may have second thoughts about revenge.

The only way to scare an animal is to show him you are even less of an animal!

Tutsi, the guy you talked about may still come back at you when you least

expect it. Watch your back. He'll never forget that day. Also being banned from

the house makes the pot simmer to boil over. And dont underestimate these

these guys because they are small - he could be a boxer and that could spell trouble.

Swing by muay thai gym and spar one of these little gits and you'll see what

i mean.

regards

nam