The Best Joke You Ever Pulled On Your Wife

[jaywalker]

I'll start.

I bought some plastic, fake dog poop and put it in the refrigerator.

It was actually in my beer refrigerator, separate from the main one.

It took about 3 days & I had forgotten about it til one evening I was in the pool & here she comes, about to puke, holding that piece of plastic like it was a nuclear bomb, all wrapped in paper towels & handed it to me, saying "Make me sick!".

I got one of the best laughs of my life out of that piece of fake doggy doo.

It's still funny!

Edited September 23, 2015 by jaywalker

[Pib]

I married her....I'm still laughing...but she's not.

[nikmar]

Not me on her, the other way around. years ago now.

I passed out, unfortunately, extremely drunk one early evening. (long story short, I helped a friend move and he paid me in beer and whisky) . she was not impressed as we had said we were gonig to her Mum's that night.

I woke up the next morning , err, a bit dazed and offered to buy her breakfast of her choice.

In gettingf ready, I happened to look in the mirror and there I was , resplendent, in her underwear, including a bra, heavily made up and looking like a skinny, white katoey.

How she laughed. So did I till she told me she had the photos. I think she still has.

[Bernard Flint]

I told my partner i was skint, after 9 years i told her i was very rich, put a big smile on her face, until i said i was trading her in for a younger model.

[lovelomsak]

I have one I pull on her when she isnot aware.

All of a sudden I will start going on like I am so worried I say things like" OH I forgot to do again" "How could I forget" " why do I forget so easy"

The wife gets excited and wants to help with the problem and asks me "What did you forget"

I look at her and tell her "I forgot to tell you I love you"

She laughs and usually throws something soft at me like a pillow. .

[Bulldozer Dawn]

I faked an orgasm

[fasteddie]

Married my mrs and she laughed all the way to the bank.

[Bung]

I had mine in the shops and noticed a new machine to scan things and check the price. I told her you speak to it and ask a question, it will answer. Off she goes and bends over talking into it asking where something is in the store. My son and i had a good laugh over that!

[kurtramsbottom]

You guys are hilarious!

[sipi]

I told the wife that the only way to get the chickens to come to you was to flap your arms and cluck. The neighbours got a good laugh.

[kurtramsbottom]

^That's so funny ,imagine it .I've just nearly bust a rib.

[KMartinHandyman]

She waited to startle me when I opened the bathroom door after showering one night.

We had a great laugh and I walked towards the bedroom as she went in to shower.

I waited until the bathroom door closed and hid in the smallest space behind somethings near the bedroom door and waited to return the prank.

When I quietly said "Hi Honey" she hit the deck laughing and crying at the same time.

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[Kickstand]

Wife's birthday is on new years. Took her to Las Vegas. Told her I called ahead and arranged a party for her. Got there on new years eve and a party was in full swing. For four hours she believed it was for her. Until midnight. She was new to the us and thought you could do stuff like that.

[cornishcarlos]

I married her....I'm still laughing...but she's not.

Oh yes she is...

[NickJ]

I told her during a power failure that in the US we all keep botteld electricity so if the power goes out we dont run out......

[Songhua]

She waited to startle me when I opened the bathroom door after showering one night.

We had a great laugh and I walked towards the bedroom as she went in to shower.

I waited until the bathroom door closed and hid in the smallest space behind somethings near the bedroom door and waited to return the prank.

When I quietly said "Hi Honey" she hit the deck laughing and crying at the same time.

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If I hid somewhere waiting for my wife to come out the bathroom I'd miss two meals and a sleep.

[KMartinHandyman]

Time was lengthy curled up in a sweaty ball with the a/c on the other side of the wall. Luckily it wasn't her coffee scrub, yogurt splash, lime juice in hair or some other beauty regime night.

I do enjoy the proceeds of her efforts!

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Edited September 26, 2015 by KMartinHandyman