Bar Girl Psychology

[Dap]

Some examples...

The ladies in my kitchen( depends on position) between 20 000- 30 000

F&B same as above

Sales and marketing 30 000-50 000

Sales ladies from my major suppliers approximately 40 K

Even the ladies in housekeeping making 20 K a month...

My wife has her own shop and makes about 40K - 50 K

And don't tell me that a bar girl is earning much more considering she won't have customers every night and minus the loss of income when she has her menstruation...

1. The girls in your employment earn considerably more than those employed by Thais.

Assume everyone is lying to you about their wages, have you ever seen a pay slip? I think not.

Assume the ladies working for you are paying 'someone' a 30% kickback for working there.

2. Bar girls are the cheapest end of the Thai p4p market, they are already used up, hoping one more big killing, marriage to a foolish foreigner, free house and car. White foreigners are their very last choice of customer. The disgrace of working in Asian p4p is nothing compared to the girls who service white foreigners.

3. Hookers don't stop work for menstruation, they buy a sterile sponge from the pharmacy, and stuff it up inside, you would never guess.

Oh noooooooooooo. I'm shattered

[tony5150]

I've never witnessed self loathing. Boredom perhaps, drunken stupor, jealousy. Never self loathing. I think you're projecting your moral ethos onto the girls.

Edited October 3, 2015 by tony5150

[bazza40]

Late 30s ??????????

You shopping in the wrong stores!

PS

Most bar girls started their p4p careers at 14 or 15 years old.

If you think they started in their late 30s, you're a bit gullible.

Shopping for a diet of cockroach sandwiches more likely.

I don't know where you shop, and don't think I want to know. However, unless you've been asking for their birth certificates, I don't know how you can claim to know.

The majority of bar girls/ massage girls I have met are single, usually have a kid back in the village after the boyfriend ran off, mid twenties to mid thirties. Some of them are superficial gold diggers, some are just yearning to meet up with a falang to look after them because they regard Thai men as losers. Some are sluts, others become alcoholics with the constant supply of lady drinks. The smart ones drink orange juice, the stupid ones get plastered or do drugs. Some of the bar owners are the dregs of society, and exploit the girls mercilessly. others are genuinely concerned for their welfare.

There's no hard and fast rules. I've seen a virginal-looking girl in Loi Kroh, looks 15, actually 26. She claims the record of shagging 19 clients in the space of 24 hours in Kuala Lumpur.

A lot of Thai women age really well. There's plenty of mid-forties Thai women who look about 30.

[PattayaPhom]

IMHO a few years back it has been the only chance for a sufficient income but nowadays there so many ( decent paid) jobs available that nobody has to go this route...

Ha ha! You must be joking. I know a woman, 30-something, the former manager of an upscale club in BKK, who cannot land a job in Phuket in the hospitality industry. Say, at a country or golf club. Her English: splendid. Classy looking, well coiffed and sharp dresser. No one will hire her, preferring 21 year olds. There must be hundreds, thousands, like her.

What about her formal qualifications along with appropriate experience. It may seem shes classy looking but probably to most potential employers she is mutton dressed as lamb. BKK to Phuket, seems shes frequenting the Foreign areas, says a lot so you shouldn't be surprised no one wants her

[Crazy chef 1]

IMHO a few years back it has been the only chance for a sufficient income but nowadays there so many ( decent paid) jobs available that nobody has to go this route...

Ha ha! You must be joking. I know a woman, 30-something, the former manager of an upscale club in BKK, who cannot land a job in Phuket in the hospitality industry. Say, at a country or golf club. Her English: splendid. Classy looking, well coiffed and sharp dresser. No one will hire her, preferring 21 year olds. There must be hundreds, thousands, like her.

Your closer to the truth than the decent paying job guy. He must be a naive newbie. Yes there are 1000's like her. I often worry about my g/f after I pass. Her only option seems to be to latch onto another old fart like me. Hope he is a kind person. See to many expat opportunists here all the time. She is a great person but a bit on the naive side.

Some examples...

The ladies in my kitchen( depends on position) between 20 000- 30 000

F&B same as above

Sales and marketing 30 000-50 000

Sales ladies from my major suppliers approximately 40 K

Even the ladies in housekeeping making 20 K a month...

My wife has her own shop and makes about 40K - 50 K

And don't tell me that a bar girl is earning much more considering she won't have customers every night and minus the loss of income when she has her menstruation...

With cops starting off at about 12,000 a month I find your figures highly unbelievable. Even after again consulting the expert (my g/f) your figures are more than double the going rate. She is Thai and your a Farang so who would I believe? She told me to ask you to email her as soon as you know of an opening. She will gather up all her friends and be right there. Its just to good to be true.

Ok mate I should have stated their base salaries are between 10 000-18000 thb and the rest comes from service charge( average 12 k/ month) plus tips...hopes this clarifies it...

[Seligne2]

Please PM the name of your business. email address, and phone number so all of my Thai friends can send you their CVs.

[Crazy chef 1]

Please PM the name of your business. email address, and phone number so all of my Thai friends can send you their CVs.

If your friends have qualifications and experience you are more than welcome to pm me and forward their CV's...currently looking for a Thai chef de cuisine ( base 40 k) and assistant restaurant manager ( base 25k)...

Sorry mate but no more Infos on a open forum...

Btw it is not my business I am also just employed there...

Edited October 3, 2015 by Crazy chef 1

[fitnesspm]

If you want to understand Bar Girl Psychology, read this book. They tried to ban it in Pattaya!

http://www.amazon.com.au/Money-Number-One-Neil-Hutchison-ebook/dp/B00CRSEJBE

[atyclb]

I've never witnessed self loathing. Boredom perhaps, drunken stupor, jealousy. Never self loathing. I think you're projecting your moral ethos onto the girls.

Its nearly a "no brainer" when you put the pieces together. # stated feelings of inferiority due to non white skin color #fits of rage # disassociation # actual statements like "i am worthless" ## sex with otherwise repulsive males they'd never do for mutual attraction if not for the need for money # pushing away good people # medicated self loathing can = drunkenness # jealousy can also be a symptom # low self esteem is already present in a high % and also associated with self loathing

[MeHere]

so many generalizations!! lol

so many different types of bargirls ;-)

[Guy360]

I'm sure that they do, but they will improvise, adapt and overcome quickly. They may be on their last choice, but they don't go into the game with their eyes shut.

It is human nature and the art of survival for some of them. Use the assets available and climb out of the hole. I used to know some girls in the very same predicament as you described in your example, and admired most of them...................

Thai ladies are masters of compartmentalization, especially when they are north of 30. They are outstanding at separating their personal and business activities. One has nothing to do with the other.

[JHolmesJr]

Psychology?!!!!!

There is nothing going on up there, i assure you.

Apart from a mild bemusement that they can use their pee pees for a purpose other than urination.

[benalibina]

I've never witnessed self loathing. Boredom perhaps, drunken stupor, jealousy. Never self loathing. I think you're projecting your moral ethos onto the girls.

Its nearly a "no brainer" when you put the pieces together. # stated feelings of inferiority due to non white skin color #fits of rage # disassociation # actual statements like "i am worthless" ## sex with otherwise repulsive males they'd never do for mutual attraction if not for the need for money # pushing away good people # medicated self loathing can = drunkenness # jealousy can also be a symptom # low self esteem is already present in a high % and also associated with self loathing

Your conclusion is quite correct i think. However while most of them are busy in the game and becoming, for their standards, succesfull, they can see it as a paid holiday, away from familypressures and they enjoy the freedom. Many make money, save some, sent some home and enjoy themselves. Beach, playing pool, sleep and partying. When time comes near to pay bills then they focus on work again. End of month.

Usually the prettiest, though emotional weakest link in the family is doing all work for the family in the barbusiness. People, IMHO thais especially, are quite good at hiding, for themselves too, their emotions and rarely ever ask themselves questions due to ...educationsystem, or lack thereoff. They sacrifice it all for....THE FAMILY....manipulation and conditioning from childhood onwards.

Your conclusion.....they dont think that way.....it is how it is.....

[Friendly Stranger]

This is my opinion:

1) They enter it b/c their other job does not pay the bills or due to family debts. Or they see their friends doing well and the lifestyle at first is exciting. This is for someone in their 20's.

2) Family in debt and they must work to pay it back. This doesn't usually work, so they try to meet a man that will help her and her family. This is for someone in their 30s.

I'll admit, a lot of underground businesses have been lost due to space/rent prices and zoning.

Edited October 3, 2015 by Friendly Stranger

[wooloomooloo]

I've never witnessed self loathing. Boredom perhaps, drunken stupor, jealousy. Never self loathing. I think you're projecting your moral ethos onto the girls.

Its nearly a "no brainer" when you put the pieces together. # stated feelings of inferiority due to non white skin color #fits of rage # disassociation # actual statements like "i am worthless" ## sex with otherwise repulsive males they'd never do for mutual attraction if not for the need for money # pushing away good people # medicated self loathing can = drunkenness # jealousy can also be a symptom # low self esteem is already present in a high % and also associated with self loathing

You feel better about yourself with your pious attitude, I can tell. You're not a nice person, atyclb.

What business is it of yours. Your grandstanding doesn't serve you well and, notwithstanding, there's far more to Thailand than Pattaya.

You're a troll with your continual demonisation of Thai ladies. You're reprehensible and predictable.

[kerrysum]

It can be A profitable life.I knew of girls that were n the business during the Vietnam war at Udonthani.They invested their money

And today they are living quite well.

But I do believe most of them live for the moment and end up self destructing.

Very true statement, all in all they were looking for a way to make life better, some did and some did not... Some had business sense, and others nonsense.

[Estrada]

Late 30s ??????????

You shopping in the wrong stores!

PS

Most bar girls started their p4p careers at 14 or 15 years old.

If you think they started in their late 30s, you're a bit gullible.

Nonsense. I have never seen or heard of a 15 yo bar girl. But I have met many >35 yo (who speak no English, and can barely read/write Thai) who started when their marriage/business went kaput.

Not nonsense. Poor Thai families used to sell their children at age 11 upwards to the Thai brothel owners. There used to be 14 to 15year old girls working in farang bars, but only in recent times has there been more strict control of the minimum age. There are still cases of Thai brothels being raided where 14 to 15year old girls are found to be working there.

[Estrada]

I've never witnessed self loathing. Boredom perhaps, drunken stupor, jealousy. Never self loathing. I think you're projecting your moral ethos onto the girls.

Its nearly a "no brainer" when you put the pieces together. # stated feelings of inferiority due to non white skin color #fits of rage # disassociation # actual statements like "i am worthless" ## sex with otherwise repulsive males they'd never do for mutual attraction if not for the need for money # pushing away good people # medicated self loathing can = drunkenness # jealousy can also be a symptom # low self esteem is already present in a high % and also associated with self loathing

You feel better about yourself with your pious attitude, I can tell. You're not a nice person, atyclb.

What business is it of yours. Your grandstanding doesn't serve you well and, notwithstanding, there's far more to Thailand than Pattaya.

You're a troll with your continual demonisation of Thai ladies. You're reprehensible and predictable.

I think Atycib is actually talking about himself.

[elgenon]

Yes, I have seen fun, happy girls get just plain tired. Why don't the bar owners learn how to manage their important assets?

Have know many girls w BS work in bars because the pay is much more. Most jobs for girls w BS pay very little. And some girls are not suited for the kind of jobs. As in the US.

[catman20]

Late 30s ??????????

You shopping in the wrong stores!

PS

Most bar girls started their p4p careers at 14 or 15 years old.

If you think they started in their late 30s, you're a bit gullible.

hows about someone that whose previously good business went south due to real economic woes in society. lets say they had borrowed significant money to buy a car before the business went down. abruptly they stand to lose the car AND the downpayment loaned money unless a way can be figured out to make the most money in the quickest amt of time.

i think about 300,000 baht was borrowed.

the person in question did not speak ANY english when we first met as we communicated in spoken thai and or sms messages. i am well aware of the BG rouses and scams.

i've never been hit up for money and she often pays the restaurant tab before i can even ask for the check.

and i do as you do share the caution when dealing with BG's. truth is theres a high% of expert scammers. thanks for your post and input

don't you just luv these guys that they've never been hit up for money and there girl always pays the bin before the guy has even asked for the bin

[IAMHERE]

'Self loathe' is a western concept, christen concept, the east didn't get toxic effect of Queen Victoria. No self loathing if you are a human, you could have been reincarnated as a soi dog but you weren't so things are going alright.

[atyclb]

I've never witnessed self loathing. Boredom perhaps, drunken stupor, jealousy. Never self loathing. I think you're projecting your moral ethos onto the girls.

Its nearly a "no brainer" when you put the pieces together. # stated feelings of inferiority due to non white skin color #fits of rage # disassociation # actual statements like "i am worthless" ## sex with otherwise repulsive males they'd never do for mutual attraction if not for the need for money # pushing away good people # medicated self loathing can = drunkenness # jealousy can also be a symptom # low self esteem is already present in a high % and also associated with self loathing

You feel better about yourself with your pious attitude, I can tell. You're not a nice person, atyclb.

What business is it of yours. Your grandstanding doesn't serve you well and, notwithstanding, there's far more to Thailand than Pattaya.

You're a troll with your continual demonisation of Thai ladies. You're reprehensible and predictable.

i care about the person in question, care enough to reach out and share, trying to better understand.

there exist numerous websites where family, friends, and loved ones of people with various problems can share and seek support. examples are alcoholics, drug addicts, assorted personality disorders

typically the people that spend time trying to better understand are nice decent and caring.

it seems to upset you that i am able to compose it as many a psychologist would, scientific, succinct fashion.

because i actually care about a person makes me reprehensible?

theres many synonyms for pious and they sure dont seem to be negatives.

i have nothing but kindness and caring for the person in question yet you use the term demonization.

please elaborate on why you believe i am demonizing thai ladies?

have a nice day

[atyclb]

Late 30s ??????????

You shopping in the wrong stores!

PS

Most bar girls started their p4p careers at 14 or 15 years old.

If you think they started in their late 30s, you're a bit gullible.

hows about someone that whose previously good business went south due to real economic woes in society. lets say they had borrowed significant money to buy a car before the business went down. abruptly they stand to lose the car AND the downpayment loaned money unless a way can be figured out to make the most money in the quickest amt of time.

i think about 300,000 baht was borrowed.

the person in question did not speak ANY english when we first met as we communicated in spoken thai and or sms messages. i am well aware of the BG rouses and scams.

i've never been hit up for money and she often pays the restaurant tab before i can even ask for the check.

and i do as you do share the caution when dealing with BG's. truth is theres a high% of expert scammers. thanks for your post and input

don't you just luv these guys that they've never been hit up for money and there girl always pays the bin before the guy has even asked for the bin

i appreciate your comment but on occasion it happens and i also know quite well what the next thoughts will be so better to lay the cards on the table.

[atyclb]

'Self loathe' is a western concept, christen concept, the east didn't get toxic effect of Queen Victoria. No self loathing if you are a human, you could have been reincarnated as a soi dog but you weren't so things are going alright.

thai psychiatrists most certainly have "self loathing" in their studies, and clinical practice with thai people.

[Crazy chef 1]

Anyway...if you like this lady and you both are a match just give it a trial,nothing to loose...

[Mot Dang]

They do, believe me. I have had that directly from a number of friends who work in bars, both as salaried staff and free-lancers within a bar (not street-walkers). They find it irksome and so do their families. But many, even if they are broke, say NO ! They cannot if they have some greasy pimp "boyfriend" forcing them to ply the trade. They WILL get beaten up.

What I have found is two things get most girls through. Their love for their families, and their Buddhist faith (they at least are not over-burdened with Victorian stigmas about sex as are most falang pooying around the world). Few are feeding a drug habit, unless it's the greaser bf.

Most bar-girls are single mothers, their pathetic cowardly husbands or boyfriends have kicked them out when they fell pregnant. They don't want to be in the bars. Many are in search of a good kind-hearted (not necessarily cashed-up) falang husband. I'm not talking about the Thai bashing dregs you find in so many bars, and posting in on-line forums, but good guys. After 35 years married to a Thai, and being involved with the bar industry, I can say most falang/Thai marriages do work, if the husband knows and understands Thai culture. It does help if at some stage the girl is introduced to European culture. If the girl is a bitch she will always be a bitch.

There is a saying, "You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl". NOT TRUE Most want to forget about it, a bad dream. Some will outright deny any involvement once introduced to their husband's community. But they do seek contact with other "retired" girls once outside of Thailand. There is always a wink wink nudge nudge between them. They will generally stay clear of expat hi-so's.

There is also a number of girls who even after getting married (sometimes several times), and being introduced to a number of countries, USA, Australia, Britain, Scandinavia etc. eventually returning home. Why ?? They can never adapt to leaving the party behind.

[recycler]

Just see how they look after 10 years of cutting sugarcane, or working 12 - 18 hours a day in steel mill, animal food plant or whatever dirty unsafe workplace and that's all on minimum wage if they are lucky to get it.

Having a party most days and making 30K Baht doing some older guys a few minutes a day doesn't sound to bad as an alternative.

[bbbbooboo]

personally I haven't seen this self-loathing that's talked about, Maybe it is indistinguishable from farang-loathing or something which is another psychology all in itself

[micmichd]

Bar girls work for money, some have children to feed.

Without welfare or a husband most Farang women would do everything to get money, too. The only difference is that Thai bar girls are more honest than Farang women.

[metisdead]

Posts containing overly derogatory generalizations and inappropriate language have been removed.