Sinsod amount?

[tajtom]

The Mother might give some back to you, but maybe not all of it.

1 million is a bit too much for a Thai guy to be paying!!!!But for us farangs about normal, depends on the

family and what they are like, I was lucky mine was 400,000baht, and my MIL even gave that to me.

This would also help you get a company done as per your other topic, and then you only need 2 Thai employees if married.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/861461-starting-business-hiring-four-thais/#entry9941321

You were not lucky you are simply happy to give for no reason and brouight your wife god bless

[Straight8]

Don't do it.

She isn't a piece of meat to be bought and sold.

No need for marriage, just live together.

I totally agree.

We do just live together, but she wants children very soon and says it would upset her mother very much so, to have children outside of marriage.

Of course!!

It's all about the mother.. whatever the mother wants; always has been, always is, and will be!

Now ask yourself a serious question. Could you live this way. Do you really want to be married to this girl, her mother, father, siblings and the 25 members of the extended family.

It's is easy to find out which side your bread is buttered on. Test the theory. Tell her you are not willing to pay a satang and see how long her plans to marry you last. But at least this way you will know for sure!!

Then again it seems there is no stopping you, so good luck!!

[Robert24]

Don't do it.

She isn't a piece of meat to be bought and sold.

No need for marriage, just live together.

I totally agree.

We do just live together, but she wants children very soon and says it would upset her mother very much so, to have children outside of marriage.

Of course!!

It's all about the mother.. whatever the mother wants; always has been, always is, and will be!

Now ask yourself a serious question. Could you live this way. Do you really want to be married to this girl, her mother, father, siblings and the 25 members of the extended family.

It's is easy to find out which side your bread is buttered on. Test the theory. Tell her you are not willing to pay a satang and see how long her plans to marry you last. But at least this way you will know for sure!!

Then again it seems there is no stopping you, so good luck!!

i think you forgot that she is rich.

[bwpage3]

I have no money saved yet make OK money each month? Are you trying to tell us you are a school teacher? Sin-Sod and marriage are just the start. If she wants kids she will expect a house and a car and proper schooling for the kids. Who is going to pay for all that, her mother? You better get all the facts before signing your life away. If you think any Thai girl will settle for no house or car, you won't last long. Better find out what her financial expectations are after marriage. No Thai girl wants to be with a poor farang and maybe she is thinking the same as all Thai girls that you have money somewhere and she will get it eventually.

[Syke1911]

I have no money saved yet make OK money each month? Are you trying to tell us you are a school teacher? Sin-Sod and marriage are just the start. If she wants kids she will expect a house and a car and proper schooling for the kids. Who is going to pay for all that, her mother? You better get all the facts before signing your life away. If you think any Thai girl will settle for no house or car, you won't last long. Better find out what her financial expectations are after marriage. No Thai girl wants to be with a poor farang and maybe she is thinking the same as all Thai girls that you have money somewhere and she will get it eventually.

The GF owns three properties, and has a car. I live with her in one of her houses.

[Rimmer]

Another troll link cross posted removed

[Mosha]

I asked my wife how much. She said they just happy to see me marry. 12 years and we are happy.

[jacksam]

This OP Has perhaps 4 troll threads currently running. One shut down . 3 to go.

[JHolmesJr]

Lol .... Good read though.

If the girl is way richer than the guy why they need sinsod....they got plenty of face already.

[seancbk]

This OP Has perhaps 4 troll threads currently running. One shut down . 3 to go.

What makes you think this is a troll post?

My situation mirrors the OP quite closely.

I'm currently not very well off financially but I'm dating a very hot young Thai woman who has a good job, earns far more than me, has her own car (daddy pays for that) and says she wants to get married in a year or so. She's 27 and I'm 48.

Her parents live down south where her father has a pretty good business with national reach, they are definitely not poor although I don't think they are as wealthy as my parents.

Just because you've never found yourself in a similar situation or know anyone personally in a similar situation, does not mean other people don't experience these things.

[richard_smith237]

if I was taking on some thai woman her family would have to pay me a sinsod. why would I want to take on all those problems ?

IF all the Thai ladies you have met have 'problems' or their families have problems I'd suggest the issue is more with you and your capability, or lack thereof to attract someone without 'problems'....

[richard_smith237]

sin sod is the same as human trafficking.

you are buying your wife. wake up people.

With these statements you fail to recognise any part of culture, tradition or history.

Someone from outside our own cultures with such strong opposing opinions would be deemed as equally lacking in understanding and intelligence.

You don't have to agree with all of the traditions, cultural expectations and behaviour practiced in Thailand, but to completely write these practices off in the blanket and offensive manner above is simply idiotic.

In doing so you are suggesting any Thai and Westerner who has got married and followed Thai tradition of 'human trafficking' and 'buying' their wife.

Your no compromise approach won't get you very far in Thailand, you'll face hurdles and brick walls in many of your encounters and endeavours - with this type of attitude if you aren't already, you are likely to become bitter and angry.

[richard_smith237]

1 million for 1 lady how many would it buy in soi 6 Pattaya

Or more to the point - If you are making this comparison... Perhaps your money is better spent paying for your Soi 6 hookups.... enjoy your carnal interludes if thats all you target in life...

As already mentioned - for the most part where healthy relationships involve balance and mutual respect the Sin-Sod is returned...

....well, in my experience and for the majority of my friends, both Thai and Western - i.e. those who have married ladies of equal *socio-economic-educatoinal status...

*not that this is the most important thing in a partner, but it does tend to eradicate intentional doubt and concerns of extended family greed - thus meaning the Sin-sod remains nothing more than a simple tradition without any further implication or concern.

[MaeJoMTB]

sin sod is the same as human trafficking.

you are buying your wife. wake up people.

With these statements you fail to recognise any part of culture, tradition or history.

Maybe they recognizes the culture, tradition and history but choose to discard them as primitive, corrupt and worthless.

After all, she is the one choosing to marry out of her culture.

I wonder what would happen, if a rival suitor jumped in offering double the payment to the parents?

Selling your children is wrong. Selling any person for any reason is wrong.

It doesn't matter how you dress it up, it's wrong, and apologists trying to, in some way, justify selling children using culture and tradition as excuses are despicable.

[richard_smith237]

sin sod is the same as human trafficking.

you are buying your wife. wake up people.

With these statements you fail to recognise any part of culture, tradition or history.

Maybe they recognizes the culture, tradition and history but choose to discard them as primitive, corrupt and worthless.

After all, she is the one choosing to marry out of her culture.

I wonder what would happen, if a rival suitor jumped in offering double the payment to the parents?

Selling your children is wrong. Selling any person for any reason is wrong.

It doesn't matter how you dress it up, it's wrong, and apologists trying to, in some way, justify selling children using culture and tradition as excuses are despicable.

Agreed... but calling it 'Selling' is also wrong... The argument against 'Sin-Sod' always boils down to the flawed and myopic view point that its 'selling'... among poorer families that may be the case... But for many of the examples provided by those contributing to this thread Sin-Sod is returned...

While this tradition clearly goes against the grain of many of us on this forum - the arguments against sin-sod are taking a wholly unbalanced and somewhat irrational direction.

In reality for the most part its Sin-Sod is not such a devil, in fact its hardly even an issue, especially for those who've offered Sin-Sod, been welcomed into a mutually respectful family and had their Sin-Sod returned.

As for those who've married into greedy disrespectful families - then the sin-sod argument may take on negative aspects, and quite rightly so, but it is those greedy families who have corrupted the notion of what is now for the most part simply an innocent cultural tradition, especially when concerning ladies from a financially secure and stable background.

[MaeJoMTB]

Agreed... but calling it 'Selling' is also wrong... The argument against 'Sin-Sod' always boils down to the flawed and myopic view point that its 'selling'... among poorer families that may be the case... But for many of the examples provided by those contributing to this thread Sin-Sod is returned...

My wife was sold for sinsot (30,000Bht) when she was 18 by her mother to a Thai man in his early 40s.

Her mum told her, we need the money, do it or you no longer have a mother or home.

She didn't know the man, she didn't like the man, she didn't want to be married.

She did it, mum took the money, 3 months later she ran off to work in Bangkok.

If that wasn't a mother pimping her daughter into prostitution under the guise of tradition, I don't know what it was.

I was offered a 18 year old just under 3 years ago.

It's happening, don't excuse it in any way.

It's just wrong!

[richard_smith237]

Agreed... but calling it 'Selling' is also wrong... The argument against 'Sin-Sod' always boils down to the flawed and myopic view point that its 'selling'... among poorer families that may be the case... But for many of the examples provided by those contributing to this thread Sin-Sod is returned...

My wife was sold for sinsot (30,000Bht) when she was 18 by her mother to a Thai man in his early 40s.

Her mum told her, we need the money, do it or you no longer have a mother or home.

She didn't know the man, she didn't like the man, she didn't want to be married.

She did it, mum took the money, 3 months later she ran off to work in Bangkok.

If that wasn't a mother pimping her daughter into prostitution under the guise of tradition, I don't know what it was.

I was offered a 18 year old just under 3 years ago.

It's happening, don't excuse it in any way.

It's just wrong!

I wouldn't disagree... however, what you have described is not tradition, its not sin-sod, its simply selling a child, its desperation.

And if we argue that, then we are getting into semantics, definition and we'll go around in circles - lets just agree that Sin-Sod for the poor means something different than Sin-Sod for those who have no need for the money.

In the Case of the OP and the starting discussion of this thread - Sin-Sod is based in tradition and culture and not desperation.

Perhaps we are both arguing different points: What you are arguing as morally unacceptable and many will agree , I'm sure what I am arguing as morally acceptable many will also agree with - We are not discussing the same point.

The Op's Girlfriend appears to be from a financially independent background - Her parents don't need the money and by his words are wealthy (although perhaps not as wealthy as his parents) - In this case any Sin-Sod simply follows traditional guidelines, is a show of money and is 'usually' returned... this is a world apart from the deplorable behaviour you describe above.

[Linzz]

Generally speaking the posters are divided into 2 camps, those who have seen no problems and those who have been hurt. Both are right in their own way and are reflecting their experiences. Nothing wrong with that.

It comes down to your ability to discern what or who you are dealing with, whether you have got to know the family,what your instincts say.

If you can take away the scamming element i.e. Thai's wrongfully taking advantage of their own tradition then it's still a culture clash.

Western thought: Selling a bride for money is distasteful, akin to trafficking

Thai thinking: the prospective suitor should be willing to show he can support his future wife and family. It is a symbol. That is why (with the less avaricious families) you will get it returned

Western thought: Displaying the money at the wedding is distasteful and immodest and nothing to do with love.

Thai thinking: Displaying the money is showing the family and friends that the daughter is marrying someone with status and who is willing to take a risk. More importantly it will impress the bride. this is why she has mentioned it.

You have to work it out.

What did I do? I did not specifically pay sinsod. I took my fiancee to my home country, followed my traditions and married her there, and the engagement ring was my sinsod as it were.My wife's parents are dead so there was no answer to give, guess I was lucky if I can say that. My wife works and we have separate bank accounts. She pays whatever and whoever she wants to help and so do I.

We also married in Thailand. There was no display of money and my wife did not ask for it. We were already married so it mixed it up a bit. We received packets of money as in the tradition. Both events everyone had a great time. I paid for both weddings. I reckon I have paid sinsod! I have paid over and over the necessities of life as a family man does with no regrets. I get on well with her family.

If you can't leave for your home country, then discern the situation and work it out, but you need a bit of luck also because you are in an unknown culture. Take care and all going well you will grow old with this woman.

Edit/ spelling

[jacksam]

This OP Has perhaps 4 troll threads currently running. One shut down . 3 to go.

What makes you think this is a troll post?

My situation mirrors the OP quite closely.

I'm currently not very well off financially but I'm dating a very hot young Thai woman who has a good job, earns far more than me, has her own car (daddy pays for that) and says she wants to get married in a year or so. She's 27 and I'm 48.

Her parents live down south where her father has a pretty good business with national reach, they are definitely not poor although I don't think they are as wealthy as my parents.

Just because you've never found yourself in a similar situation or know anyone personally in a similar situation, does not mean other people don't experience these things.

My comments have nothing to do with content of this particular thread. Perhaps if you look up OP content and read all threads you may share my view then, or you may not.