Golfing In Ireland

[niagarekoja]

An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods.

Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.

"Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked.

"I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball," the golfer says.

"Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?"

"Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer answers in relief. "I don't want anything, I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize."

And the golfer walks off.

"What a nice guy," the Leprechaun says to himself.

I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want... a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life."

A year goes by (as it does in stories like this) and the American golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

"Twas me that made ye hit the ball here," the little guy says. "I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?"

"My game is fantastic!" the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now." He adds, "By the way, it's good to see you're all right."

"Oh, I'm fine now, thankye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?"

"Why, it's just wonderful!" the golfer states. "When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100.00 bills I didn't even know were there!"

"I did that fer ye also."

And tell me, how's yer sex life?"

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, "It's OK."

"C'mon, c'mon now," urged the Leprechaun , "I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?"

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, "Once, sometimes twice a week."

"What??" responds the Leprechaun in shock. "That's all? Only once or twice a week?"

"Well," says the golfer, "I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish."

[Pink Mist]

[suegha]

Absolutley brill, I just didn't see it coming at all. Best joke I've heard in ages...

[Rdrokit]

Funny, here's how I heard it.

There was this guy who loved golf but always hooked his drives.

One day looking for a ball in the woods he came upon a witch.

The witch askes the golfer why he looks so mad.

He replies that he can not hit a drve straight.

The witch tell him she has a spell she could put on him that would make him hit every shot straight.

He yells "then let me have it".

The witch replys, "there is one side effect, it will inhibit your sex drive."

"I don't care," the golfer replys, "I just want to hit the ball straight." So she hits him with her spell.

About six months later the golfer is playing the same course and hitting every ball staight.

He passes the woods where the witch lives and thought he should stop in and say thanks.

Seeing the witch he says thank you I am playing the best golf of my life.

"Well yea" the witch replys, "but how is your sex life?"

The golfer says he has sex about twice a month.

"Well that's not too good" replies the witch

To which the golfer replys "Not bad for a small town parish priest."

[suegha]

Both versions are good!