Pop psychology - Thai style

[Gecko123]

One of the things I like most about Thai culture is that Thais don’t sling pop psychology jargon at one another like they do in the West. For instance, a Thai person might say ‘he’s selfish, thinks he’s better than everyone else, and doesn’t really like people, but you’re not likely going to hear a Thai person say, “he’s got borderline narcissist personality disorder.” For some that may be six of one half dozen of the other, but I find the way Thais talk about personality quirks to be much gentler than how Westerners talk about them. I call this freedom from psychological intrusion, and I greatly appreciate this aspect of Thai culture.

I come from a background where going to a counselor has very little stigma. You have a problem at home, or work, or in your life, you go talk to someone and try and work through it. No stigma, no shame.

But I live out in the boonies in rural Thailand. Lots of vets, but psychologists are as scarce as hen’s teeth. Where I live the government hospital does have a psychologist on staff, and I actually once scheduled a visit. She was quite young, and rather serious. I tried to get her to lighten up by asking her to promise she wasn’t going to really shrink my head, but my joke fell flat. I knew up front that the first session would only last a half hour, so I tried to get my money’s worth by talking fast. I was expecting that at the end of the session she would give me some canned Thai philosophy like, ‘You think too much.’ But instead at the end of the session all she said was, ‘You talk too much.’ That kind of hurt my feelings, and put me off scheduling a follow up visit. So I’ve learned to take any help where ever I can find it.

On Thai Visa, though, in sharp contrast to day to day life in rural Thailand, you definitely get it with both barrels. No holding back here, right guys? But it’s all good. I try to reflect on the personal feedback I receive here. Most of it goes in one ear and out the other, but I’ll admit sometimes something rings true and I try to learn from it, and for that I’m grateful.

Thai Visa also helps by providing a forum for self-expression. It’s interesting to see how people respond to you on-line.

And of course, the opportunity for social interaction and the satisfaction that comes from sharing a laugh is probably the biggest benefit of all.

So Thai Visa has become my de facto therapist and I just want everyone to know your unpaid help is greatly appreciated. Who should I make the check out to?

So my questions are:

Do you like it that Thais don’t seem to psychoanalyze one another to the same degree as in the West?

Has living in Thailand caused you to rethink whether psychoanalyzing people is healthy?

Is being a TVF member therapeutic for you?

[thehelmsman]

What comes to mind is what did retired people do before forums such as this one existed. All the lost work hours due to posting on this forum is staggering.

[Crazy chef 1]

Mate you need a barber...

[WitawatWatawit]

All the psycho babble goes out the window when I hear a Thai girl utter this most deep and profound comment:

"Hansum man, me lub you too mut."

I become a giant among men.

[DogNo1]

You may be interested in this book: http://www.scribd.com/mobile/doc/5468681/Psychotherapy-East-and-West-By-Alan-Watts

[AlQaholic]

The Bottle is the answer to all ills.

But seriously, answer to the questions:

1. Thai don't know what Psychoanalyzing means.

2. I have never Psychoanalyzed anyone in my life, so I do not know.

3. Being in TVF IS good for venting the steam out once in a while.

Edited November 12, 2015 by AlQaholic

[csabo]

You type too much

[thaiduncankk]

Have I studied Buddhism and applied it to my daily life ?

NO, and have no intention of doing so.

If you took your partner to your home country, do you think she would embrace your religious beliefs ?

[csabo]

What comes to mind is what did retired people do before forums such as this one existed. All the lost work hours due to posting on this forum is staggering.

Says the viking with 1330 posts.

[SoiBiker]

In the west we tend to medicalise as many aspects of life as possible - driven, I think, by the fact that medicine is big business. People have begun to latch onto this as a way either of absolving responsibility for their own actions, or to feel better about the shortcomings of their offspring.

[TimmyT]

The Bottle is the answer to all ills.

But seriously, answer to the questions:

1. Thai don't know what Psychoanalyzing means.

2. I have never Psychoanalyzed anyone in my life, so I do not know.

3. Being in TVF IS good for venting the steam out once in a while.

Buddhism, living in a present moment, seeing things as they really are is an instrument which is much stronger then psychoanalysis, cognitive therapy or anything else.

because Buddhism eliminates the root of all problems - the false sense of selfness, and psychology just try to deal with symptoms.

[1FinickyOne]

Hey, I learned through pop therapy that 60 is the new 40 - of course, it doesn't make my back feel any better, my legs any stronger or less tired. It only means that a 60+ friend in USA has to keep working and saving like a 40 yr old until he can afford to retire, which may never happen.

The Thai version, as you know - my wife will tell me that I am "too serious" - the cause of all ills and she may be closer to correct...

I can't believe that the lady told you that you talk too much… that's funny. Though maybe even funnier that you went in the first place. I have never been to a shrink but many friends in USA have and i don't remember any of them ever reaching the level of cure - they never seem to get beyond, see you next week - -

As to your questions:

Yes, I like that they are not so analytical here - simplicity is good.

I never thought psychoanalyzing people was much help as therapists seem to be the most screwed up people on earth. I have heard it said that they become therapists to figure out what is wrong with themselves.

Mostly TV is the opposite of therapeutic as there is too much negativity and too many people that know just a little but think they understand a very unique and complex culture and speak poorly of Thai people while taking advantage of their hosts hospitality. Though I have met and made some friends here and occasionally can learn something new myself…

[chicowoodduck]

Just get a good day job for f*** sake...?

[Gecko123]

After posting the OP it occured to me that if a reader doesn't have a fairly good handle on the Thai language, they might not have previously realized that Thais don't use psychological labels very much in everyday interactions. This may help explain why this thread has attracted as many off-topic comments as it has.

In the West, people sling words like "sociopath," "pathological," "deviant," "oedipus complex" "misogynist," "repressed," "psychotic," "bi-polar," "mood disorder," "Asperger's" "attention deficit disorder," etc., at each other all the time. As helpful as these terms may be in helping doctors diagnose mental health issues, I think when they become part of everyday vocabulary and are used by untrained lay people, their use can be very harmful because they make people more guarded about being open with one another, and thus contribute to general social isolation and alienation.

Thais don't seem to do this as much as those in the West, and I'm wondering whether:

You like this aspect of Thai culture?

Thai culture has influenced your perception of whether applying psychological labels to one another is advisable?

You consider TVF to be therapeutically beneficial to you?

[dotpoom]

All the psycho babble goes out the window when I hear a Thai girl utter this most deep and profound comment:

"Hansum man, me lub you too mut."

I become a giant among men.

And........................"I wan go wit u". ...... You gotta luv 'em.

[micmichd]

After posting the OP it occured to me that if a reader doesn't have a fairly good handle on the Thai language, they might not have previously realized that Thais don't use psychological labels very much in everyday interactions. This may help explain why this thread has attracted as many off-topic comments as it has.

In the West, people sling words like "sociopath," "pathological," "deviant," "oedipus complex" "misogynist," "repressed," "psychotic," "bi-polar," "mood disorder," "Asperger's" "attention deficit disorder," etc., at each other all the time. As helpful as these terms may be in helping doctors diagnose mental health issues, I think when they become part of everyday vocabulary and are used by untrained lay people, their use can be very harmful because they make people more guarded about being open with one another, and thus contribute to general social isolation and alienation.

Thais don't seem to do this as much as those in the West, and I'm wondering whether:

You like this aspect of Thai culture?

Thai culture has influenced your perception of whether applying psychological labels to one another is advisable?

You consider TVF to be therapeutically beneficial to you?

Yes to all.

[weegee]

hey Gecko123....

Grab a bottle of Gentleman Jack and come on down....I will tell you whats wrong with you in 1 hour after you arrive...

I have nearly fixed Transams "Singing" problem....now thats something !!!

[CharlieH]

The West generally over-analyses everything to the enth degree.

Breaking things down, compartmentalising things, everything has to have a "label", a "reason".a "therapy" a "rule"

Do busy analysing to get on with just living and enjoying what you have, the simple things, like love, family, children, relationships.

In Thailand the priorities and values, I suggest are poles apart, and Thais have it right.

They havnt lost those family values and sense of community, that in my opinion disappeared in the West generations ago.

Its one of the many reasons I like living in rural Thailand.

[nithisa78]

Thai culture and the Buddha have been a great help. Still waiting for first TV laugh.

Sabai and enjoy life. My Thai wife is the love of my life. Has helped me learn not to talk too much or think too much.

Previous teachers have gone over or under my head.

Though, I'm still a work in progress. Good post.

[nithisa78]

The West generally over-analyses everything to the enth degree.

Breaking things down, compartmentalising things, everything has to have a "label", a "reason".a "therapy" a "rule"

Do busy analysing to get on with just living and enjoying what you have, the simple things, like love, family, children, relationships.

In Thailand the priorities and values, I suggest are poles apart, and Thais have it right.

They havnt lost those family values and sense of community, that in my opinion disappeared in the West generations ago.

Its one of the many reasons I like living in rural Thailand.

Indeed.

[Nowisee]

Using this forum to sort out personal issues is a mistake. As you say...he problem with most of it goes in one ear and out the other is it's too often conflicting in two directions. This is not helpful.
Better to pick out one person of reason and PM them or even better use a different forum. This one is full of flippant sarcasm and criticism... again, not helpful or healthy (in your case or if someone really needs to talk out some issues)

Or, get out of rural thailand.

If you want to express yourself, start a blog... here you are moderated.

Thai's don't analyze because they don't know how to.

I am not trained to psychoanalyze people, I enjoying talking with good friends as we discuss issues, but even those that are "trained" I am suspicious.

Being a TVF member is not therapeutic for me... it is helpful at times and entertaining, but mostly it exposes me to a lot of what I should not expose myself to... my choice.

There are many on here that are capable of intelligent, thought provoking insight, a few that are extremely knowledgable with certain issues and incredibly helpful and a few that have much of life here figured out and write about it in a open positive way. To those, I am greatly appreciative.

Queue up the: If you don't like it leave crowd...5555

Edited November 12, 2015 by Nowisee

[csabo]

After posting the OP it occured to me that if a reader doesn't have a fairly good handle on the Thai language, they might not have previously realized that Thais don't use psychological labels very much in everyday interactions. This may help explain why this thread has attracted as many off-topic comments as it has.

In the West, people sling words like "sociopath," "pathological," "deviant," "oedipus complex" "misogynist," "repressed," "psychotic," "bi-polar," "mood disorder," "Asperger's" "attention deficit disorder," etc., at each other all the time. As helpful as these terms may be in helping doctors diagnose mental health issues, I think when they become part of everyday vocabulary and are used by untrained lay people, their use can be very harmful because they make people more guarded about being open with one another, and thus contribute to general social isolation and alienation.

Thais don't seem to do this as much as those in the West, and I'm wondering whether:

You like this aspect of Thai culture?

Thai culture has influenced your perception of whether applying psychological labels to one another is advisable?

You consider TVF to be therapeutically beneficial to you?

We get it. You like things dumbed down so you don't have to use modern intellect. Many Thais are wondering where their next meal is coming from and you want to know why they don't use physiological vernacular to describe one another. Got it. Get over it.

[1FinickyOne]

I have tried to explain "anxiety" to Thai people - they had trouble getting it and I have not found a word in the language that seems to suitably do it justice…

[bazza40]

The Greeks have beaten you to it by a couple of millennia. " Know thyself " is probably the single most useful piece of advice their philosophers developed.

Probably the best aspect of Thai culture is it's guilt-free. None of that "original sin" crap.

I like TV because it's fun to read earnest OP's, and some of the more humorous responses. And I can always have a good argument with someone.

You can send the cheque to the Gymkhana Golf Club in Chiang Mai.

[bazza40]

Mate you need a barber...

Bravo. Where's the OP going to find an English-speaking barber in Thailand?

[TheKnave]

TVF: shortest route to the rubber room.

[bbbbooboo]

....hmmmm......sounds like you may need to get out more

[perdido]

Have I studied Buddhism and applied it to my daily life ?

NO, and have no intention of doing so.

If you took your partner to your home country, do you think she would embrace your religious beliefs ?

Buddhism not a religion, unless you want to make it one...what Buddhism offers is detailed scientifically proven instructions on how to eliminate suffering, and increase happiness, of both oneself and all other living beings........take away the ritual, and it's Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, par excellence.......

[Gecko123]

What comes to mind is what did retired people do before forums such as this one existed. All the lost work hours due to posting on this forum is staggering.

For the most part, I am proud of my posting history, in particular, the quality of the topics I have started. Sharing thoughts and observations about Thailand is not a waste of time. Sharing experiences which others might learn from is not a waste of time.

I do agree, however, that making snippy, snide, off-topic posts whose main purpose is to belittle, attack, and hi-jack threads IS a waste of time both for the poster, and, more importantly, the reader. In my opinion, people who routinely do this add little to this forum, and are generally disliked by the overwhelming majority of forum members.

Ultimately, all of us will have to come to terms with what our contribution to this forum has been. As I said, I am proud of my contribution. Are you proud of yours?

[CharlieH]

What comes to mind is what did retired people do before forums such as this one existed. All the lost work hours due to posting on this forum is staggering.

For the most part, I am proud of my posting history, in particular, the quality of the topics I have started. Sharing thoughts and observations about Thailand is not a waste of time. Sharing experiences which others might learn from is not a waste of time.

I do agree, however, that making snippy, snide, off-topic posts whose main purpose is to belittle, attack, and hi-jack threads IS a waste of time both for the poster, and, more importantly, the reader. In my opinion, people who routinely do this add little to this forum, and are generally disliked by the overwhelming majority of forum members.

Ultimately, all of us will have to come to terms with what our contribution to this forum has been. As I said, I am proud of my contribution. Are you proud of yours?

There is also all the time saved.

Forums such as this provide information on "where" to get things, "how" to do things, potential trouble to avoid, how to avoid situations, the best way to achieve and navigate visa issues and so much more. I suggest the benefit in information, time saved and well-being, far out ways any "loss of time".

You may think "well-being" was an odd term to use, but you would be surprised how many people are helped daily in terms of physical and mental health by an online community. People who are or choose to be in a more isolated existence, perhaps dont speak the local language and have friends etc online, that can chat have fun and relax with in an online community. For some its easier to talk and express things as it can be done anonymously etc.

There is of course a negative side to that, as with most things for every positive there is a negative aspect. But I would suggest for the most part, there is far more gained, than there ever is "lost".