Adoption of my Thai partner's child

[Eggmeng]

I am an American in business and friendship here with a Thai woman since 1999. Her daughter was born 9 years ago and since then has known only me as her (non legally) adoptive father. My daughter carries her mother's family name as the real father (to whom she was never married) was legally dissociated from her birth by her mother a few months after she was born. She has not seen him since, nor have we.

The mother has agreed to formalize my adoption of her daughter, but she knows nothing about how and where to proceed. She has asked me to initiate the process and I'm willing to do that, but I suspect this is something she will have to spearhead, at least at the beginning.

Can someone here advise?

Edited November 14, 2015 by Eggmeng

[HenryB]

Why?

[MaeJoMTB]

1 Why?

and

2 Not without the fathers consent.

[Eggmeng]

Why what?

[FritsSikkink]

You have to marry the mother first

[Gulfsailor]

You have to marry the mother first

Well, not in theory. The mother could give up parental rights (assuming the father already did so) and give the child up for adoption. But since the OP is not Thai it would take involvement of an international adoption agency. So in reality, yes, you need to marry the mother. Then talk to a lawyer who will get the ball rolling.

[offset]

1 Why?

and

2 Not without the fathers consent.

Fathers consent is not needed because the mother has 100 parental right over the child because she was not married to the father.

I also think that if the OP married the mother legally he would become the legal father of the child then if he wished he could get a divorce from the mother at the Ampher and be back to where he is now but legally the father of the child

Edited November 14, 2015 by offset

[Eggmeng]

Thanks guys.

My daughter's mother would never give up her parental rights and I would never ask her to. If I have to marry her to adopt our girl I guess I would be willing, especially if we can then divorce and I still retain legal parenthood.

The point of this is, I am moving back to the US after 20 years in the LOS. My daughter is now 9, and when she is a little older I want her to be able to visit me freely with or without her mother, and study and live in America for whatever length of time she wishes.

I guess I need to talk to a lawyer.

[CDNinKS]

Forget it.

I'm legally married to the mother of the little girl who calls me Daddy ( for the last 7 years) and I tried to do this. We all went to Bangkok to the department that handles such things and it was a complete waste of time. Thai law states that if I wanted to adopt her daughter, she ( the mother) would have to give up custody and I would have sole custody. A completely ridiculous, discriminatory law. On top of that if we even went ahead with this we would be subjected to at a minimum 2 -3 years of scrutiny before it would even be able to be considered. I contacted a well respected law firm in Thailand and they said that they had tried to help others in the past and because of the draconian, xenophopic Thai law they were no longer handling any adoption cases.

Did you know that a Thai can simply go to the local Amphur and change thier name to any name.....provided of course it is a Thai name. My wife attempted to change the little girls name to my last name but was refused. She could change it to any Thai name though.

TIT

[Eggmeng]

Forget it.

I'm legally married to the mother of the little girl who calls me Daddy ( for the last 7 years) and I tried to do this. We all went to Bangkok to the department that handles such things and it was a complete waste of time. Thai law states that if I wanted to adopt her daughter, she ( the mother) would have to give up custody and I would have sole custody. A completely ridiculous, discriminatory law. On top of that if we even went ahead with this we would be subjected to at a minimum 2 -3 years of scrutiny before it would even be able to be considered. I contacted a well respected law firm in Thailand and they said that they had tried to help others in the past and because of the draconian, xenophopic Thai law they were no longer handling any adoption cases.

Discouraging but not altogether surprising.Thanks for that.

If I marry her mother although she won't legally be my daughter, could mother grant me the guardianship needed for her daughter to live with me in the US while she is a minor?

What about this scenario.

I marry mother.

I get mother and daughter a US visa.

Mother and daughter move to US and daughter enrolls in school.

Mother awards me guardianship so she can come and go.

For what it's worth, mother and I have a long established business in Thailand that she largely runs (and is ready to give up), and years ago she got a 10 year multiple entry US visa. I think she could easily do so again, with or without being married to me.

[CDNinKS]

My wife also has a 10 year US visa, so no problem for her to travel unrestricted. If your daughter has a US visa then she can also travel unrestricted, so no conflict there with either US or Thailand.

As to the guardian issue, now I think you might be mixing apples and oranges. As stated you have no legal rights in Thailand, however I don't see why you can not have a legal guardianship created in the US, but this would need to done with the help of a US lawyer, nothing what so ever to do with Thailand. This would make perfect sense as if she is a minor living in the US and she needed urgent medical attention for example you would want to be able to grant that.

Good luck and let us know how it works out.

[Eggmeng]

As stated you have no legal rights in Thailand, however I don't see why you can not have a legal guardianship created in the US, but this would need to done with the help of a US lawyer, nothing what so ever to do with Thailand. This would make perfect sense as if she is a minor living in the US and she needed urgent medical attention for example you would want to be able to grant that.

Interesting, and if this is the case perhaps being married to her mother isn't even necessary, as long as they both have the visas they need to remain in the US.

[CDNinKS]

I would think being married to her mother shouldn't matter, but again probably best to get some advise from a US lawyer. I would think that this situation is pretty common. For example maybe in the case of exchange students living with host parents in another country, i would think that they would need to have some sort of legal guardianship while in thier care.

[Boo]

If you want this to be an international adoption, you need to start the process in the US. Once you have passed all the necessary check & whatnot then you would be allowed to apply in Thailand. This would afford the child full rights as a citizen of your country. There is a domestic adoption but it is only valid in Thailand & would mean she isn't entitled to your nationality.

I also believe that in order for the thai side to agree, you would need to be married to her mother.

[Eggmeng]

I also believe that in order for the thai side to agree, you would need to be married to her mother.

I'm beginning to think there is a better way to achieve my purpose. Assuming my daughter's mother wants her child to experience life and study in the US, she will want to be with her during her adolescence, and with good reason.

Mother has highly specialized culinary skills that I believe would qualify her for a visa to work in the Thai food related business I am launching, or in another, married to me or not.

If they stay long enough to get green cards my purpose is achieved. If they don't perhaps it was not meant to be.