What would you advise the bunch of long stayers who became full of cynicism?

[Shadychris]

My wife cooks the things I like to eat, can't your wife learn?

Only lucky guys have a local wife who can be motivated to do such.

Really?? What does it have to do with luck? We don't win our partners in a lottery, and unless of Indian descent we dont have one picked for us by our parents... We get to choose our partners. So there's a choice of a nice family orientated girl who enjoys cooking and keeping the house nice, or a bar girl who does good bj's but not much else other than watch TV all day.

The only luck involved is in finding a nice domesticated girl who is also really hot in the bedroom, and in Thailand that really isnt so difficult.. ;-)

.

I think there are other choices; and certainly being able to cook does not negate being able to give a good BJ

Of course! Ultimately we would find a partner who can cook, give good BJ's and also be able to fix her own car\bike... ;-)

[geronimo]

adopt the Buddhist, Mai Bpen Rai attitude

enjoy the moment

learn to speak the language

[geronimo]

adopt the Buddhist, Mai Bpen Rai attitude

enjoy the moment

learn to speak the language

Forgot to add that these three things have served me well in the three decades I've been here. My paradise is another's hell it seems!

[smotherb]

There is 3 Golden Rules called the 3 C's which everyone should get to know when working and living Overseas.

They are:

1) Don't "Compare".

2) Don't "Criticize".

3) Don't "Complain".

I suppose you could add another "C" to this Golden Rule for people who can't follow the first 3 C Rules. It would be:

4) Don't "Come Here!"

Don't compare? How one can in his right mind come to some exotic place and not make comparisons? It also serves in making improvements...

Criticism is also a way to clear one's thoughts on any subject and perhaps find a way to comply with changes whether they are positive or negative.

Complaining sometimes lets out the excess steam...

I not see much value in your advice. A person without brains goes not very far. And in that process also processing negative things is very valuable. I've seen far too many empty headed people repeating the mantra of positive thinking and burn out at the same time.

The 3 C's aren't about being positive all the time. They are about not being negative all the time, and what this post is all about.

How can one argue with a person who thinks comparing this country to his own, criticizes everything he sees, and complaining about everything he doesn't like, is a good thing? You wouldn't be my friend.

I have lived and worked Overseas most of my adult life, and it is people like you that I see burn out first by a long shot. So let's see how long you will last and keeping your friends and family here, by bitching and complaining all the time and telling everyone that back home we had this or that and not the crap they have here.

I too have lived and worked overseas all my adult life--about 50 years now. I have always compared, criticized and complained--but I do it with equal opportunity; I compare, criticize and complain in the States.

I find things I do not like and would like to see changed every where. Certainly, you can go overboard, but you can also drown from within. Sometimes, people only need to see another way of doing something to see it can be better done.

A neighbor of mine runs a nice little Thai-Chinese restaurant downtown. As is the norm here, it was impossible for four people, even two people, to be served their meals at the same time. I complained, compared their service to Western restaurants, and criticized the way they processed the meals--like, the things that take the longest ought to be cooked first or orders for the same table should be processed together.

Lo and behold, you can now go there with a group of people and actually eat at the same time.

Another example, I live on a small soi with three large homes on one side of the street and 12 three-story row-houses on the other--three driveways vs. twelve driveways. It used to be very difficult to get in and out of my row-house garage because of the neighbors parking on both sides of the street and invariably encroaching on part of my driveway. I brought this problem to the attention of my Thai neighbors; they too were annoyed by this situation. Now, everyone parks on the side of the street where the large homes are and no one blocks another's driveway.

As I have said, you simply need to be smarter than the problem. However, part of the problem is always convincing the others to recognize the existence of the issue and agree upon a solution.

[smotherb]

Shadycris said, "Of course! Ultimately we would find a partner who can cook, give good BJ's and also be able to fix her own car\bike... ;-)"

Exactly; although mine does not fix her own car, she does wash her car and my bike; takes care of all bills, insurance and taxes; deals with the landlord, bank, and immigration; arranges for all our travel and hotel, does the minor plumbing and electrical work in the house; does all the cooking, shopping, housework and gardening; in fact, she manages almost all things quite well. I call that proper planning--as I said, you must be smarter than the problem.

[JLCrab]

< snip>

I find things I do not like and would like to see changed every where. Certainly, you can go overboard, but you can also drown from within. Sometimes, people only need to see another way of doing something to see it can be better done.

A neighbor of mine runs a nice little Thai-Chinese restaurant downtown. As is the norm here, it was impossible for four people, even two people, to be served their meals at the same time. I complained, compared their service to Western restaurants, and criticized the way they processed the meals--like, the things that take the longest ought to be cooked first or orders for the same table should be processed together.

Lo and behold, you can now go there with a group of people and actually eat at the same time.

< snip >

As I have said, you simply need to be smarter than the problem. However, part of the problem is always convincing the others to recognize the existence of the issue and agree upon a solution.

We solved the problem of meals being served or not served at the same time: It's called buffet.

[TuskegeeBen]

I totally disagree with post #4's premise, and for the following reason.

One of the greatest of antagonizers (in the LoS), is the way so many expats make an obvious, and blatant point of avoiding other expats on the street, and at the malls. It costs absolutely nothing (not even one baht) to give (at least a nodding) recognition, or a polite greeting to another expat. This especially holds true, in the provincial areas. You never know who it may be, you might be slighting, by not extending that little tid-bit of courtesy. Fyi ~ The hand you slap today, you may have to kiss tomorrow.

What I find so unfathomable, is that so many (so-called) "educated" seniors, among the farang population, apparently never took a course in the Fundamentals of Social Science, as an integral part of their university degree curriculum. Yet those same blokes will prance around Thailand (like proud roosters), complaining about the ignorance of Thai people. Huh? Duh!

Edited November 23, 2015 by TuskegeeBen

[TuskegeeBen]

My advice would be to avoid a bunch of long stayers who become full of cynicism. Cross over to the other side of the road when you see them coming.

Edited November 23, 2015 by TuskegeeBen

[MaeJoMTB]

One of the greatest of antagonizers (in the LoS), is the way so many expats make an obvious, and blatant point of avoiding other expats on the street, and at the malls. It costs absolutely nothing (not even one baht) to give (at least a nodding) recognition, or a polite greeting to another expat. This especially holds true, in the provincial areas. You never know who it may be, you might be slighting, by not extending that little tid-bit of courtesy. The hand you slap today, you may have to kiss tomorrow.

So you want to say hi to anyone who shares your skin colour?

I prefer the cycling crowd, we say hi to anyone riding a bicycle, race and nationality unimportant.

I'm not a racist.

[CharlieH]

Post removed.

7) You will respect fellow members and post in a civil manner. No personal attacks, hateful or insulting towards other members, (flaming) Stalking of members on either the forum or via PM will not be allowed.

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[MaeJoMTB]

One of the greatest of antagonizers (in the LoS), is the way so many expats make an obvious, and blatant point of avoiding other expats on the street, and at the malls. It costs absolutely nothing (not even one baht) to give (at least a nodding) recognition, or a polite greeting to another expat. This especially holds true, in the provincial areas. You never know who it may be, you might be slighting, by not extending that little tid-bit of courtesy. The hand you slap today, you may have to kiss tomorrow.

So you want to say hi to anyone who shares your skin colour?

I prefer the cycling crowd, we say hi to anyone riding a bicycle, race and nationality unimportant.

I'm not a racist.

Great quick editing "clean-up" job, you did there, slick! Apparently the moderator didn't catch it soon enough

No editing in my post, it's as it was originally written.

Just edited this post ...... see it says 'edited by MaeJoMTB, xxx ago' just below this line.

Edited November 23, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[TuskegeeBen]

One of the greatest of antagonizers (in the LoS), is the way so many expats make an obvious, and blatant point of avoiding other expats on the street, and at the malls. It costs absolutely nothing (not even one baht) to give (at least a nodding) recognition, or a polite greeting to another expat. This especially holds true, in the provincial areas. You never know who it may be, you might be slighting, by not extending that little tid-bit of courtesy. The hand you slap today, you may have to kiss tomorrow.

So you want to say hi to anyone who shares your skin colour?

I prefer the cycling crowd, we say hi to anyone riding a bicycle, race and nationality unimportant.

I'm not a racist.

Great quick editing "clean-up" job, you did there, slick! Apparently the moderator didn't catch it soon enough

No editing in my post, it's as it was originally written.

Just edited this post ...... see it says 'edited by .......' just below this line.

Regardless! My reply was appropriate. Skin-color had absolutely nothing to do with my post. You're the one who took it there, out of context. My position, in your regard stands! Done! Finished! Adios.

Edited November 23, 2015 by TuskegeeBen

[MaeJoMTB]

Regardless! My reply was appropriate. Skin-color had absolutely nothing to do with my post, and you very well know that to be true.

Feel free to explain how you spot a 'fellow expat on the street', without it being by skin colour?

I would be interested to hear how it's done?

Then you could go on to explain why you feel the need to interact with such a person without even knowing if you have a language in common?

Seems a bit strange to me.

Now saying hi to someone who clearly has interests in common with you (like, in my case, cyclists) is an entirely different matter.

PS

I accept your apology for falsely claiming I edited my original post.

Edited November 23, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[smotherb]

< snip>

I find things I do not like and would like to see changed every where. Certainly, you can go overboard, but you can also drown from within. Sometimes, people only need to see another way of doing something to see it can be better done.

A neighbor of mine runs a nice little Thai-Chinese restaurant downtown. As is the norm here, it was impossible for four people, even two people, to be served their meals at the same time. I complained, compared their service to Western restaurants, and criticized the way they processed the meals--like, the things that take the longest ought to be cooked first or orders for the same table should be processed together.

Lo and behold, you can now go there with a group of people and actually eat at the same time.

< snip >

As I have said, you simply need to be smarter than the problem. However, part of the problem is always convincing the others to recognize the existence of the issue and agree upon a solution.

We solved the problem of meals being served or not served at the same time: It's called buffet.

Hardly the same Crabbie, but I am working on that too. Invariably, the meat and the more expensive foods on buffets do not get replaced as they run out, you have to wait for them--however, I doubt this one is procedural, they're trying to save money.

[JLCrab]

Same or not, that's where we go -- usually at around 11 AM so everything s fresh and plentiful and we are often one of the only ones there. I joke with the staff that there is a computer by the door that hands out waiting slips for when the place is packed. And they dote on the girlfriend and bring her a large plate of shrimp instead of the 3 on the small plate

OK so it ain't the Blue Elephant but she likes it and, when she is happy, it's a good thing.

Edited November 23, 2015 by JLCrab

[puffy]

I would advise them to keep on doing the same, otherwise what would all the people

on this thread who never moan have to moan about?

Lets all moan about the moaners because everyone loves a moaner.

[spidermike007]

There are so many things one can do to avoid cynicism and negativity. First of all, get control of your mind. Most guys, as they get older, do not become better versions of themselves. There is something about the aging process in general, that makes people sour, bitter, disenchanted with life, and negative. So, you must fight that, with all of your power and might. It is a battle. Are you a freaking wimp, or a warrior? Are you willing to just give in and surrender the fight, or wage a massive battle? As Dylan Thomas said, "Do not go gently into that good night, old age should burn and rave at close of day, rage, rage against the dying of the light". My interpretation of that is put up a fight that is worthy of a real man. Buck up, take charge, make your life into something worthwhile.

Improving ones diet can help, cardiovascular exercise is essential for the fight against negativity, and aging in general, drinking a bit less helps too. Perspective is huge. Whatever it takes to gain it, and hold onto it, is worthwhile. Personally going back to my country twice a year does wonders, to keep me in love with Thailand and most of its people. Not taking things too seriously. Repetition of mantras like "water off a ducks back", and similar positive affirmations help a lot. Again, it is a perspective thing. If you can maintain perspective, half the battle is already won.

Be careful with regard to the company you keep. Environment is stronger than will power. Being around sour people, with bad attitudes can rub off easily. It takes a very strong man to be around that, and walk away unaffected.

Don't get too involved in politics. Don't focus on the news too much. Don't take things too seriously. Learn to have a light hearted attitude, like most Thai people. It is one of my favorite qualities of most Thai people. A really delightful quality, that we have much to learn from.

Avoid constipation. Whatever it takes to do so, is worth it. Many people I run into with bad attitudes have constipation written all over their demeanor.

Lastly, having a delightful woman around, helps a lot. Better if she is 10-30 years younger than you. Keeps you feeling youthful, in my opinion.

Edited November 26, 2015 by spidermike007

[Shadychris]

There are so many things one can do to avoid cynicism and negativity.

Avoid constipation. Whatever it takes to do so, is worth it. Many people I run into with bad attitudes have constipation written all over their demeanor.

Well I'm not sure exactly what constipation has to do with a cynical or negative attitude, but I find that prunes are a good natural laxative and help to keep me regular.

[natway09]

You are right.

Some of those old cronies will find fault with everything in Thailand even if it is better than where they came from.

Just try & ignore them & if need to talk to them keep it brief.

I was lucky enough to know two of them, just introduced them to each other & left them to it

[Rdrokit]

You are right.

Some of those old cronies will find fault with everything in Thailand even if it is better than where they came from.

Just try & ignore them & if need to talk to them keep it brief.

I was lucky enough to know two of them, just introduced them to each other & left them to it

Yep, we call them Party Poopers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ_LHyx2odc