Meeting Thai Women

[pgrahmm]

Based on the name and avatar it seems likely that the OP is from India.....If that is the case then he is starting with a the perceptual disadvantage/cultural/status aspects of Indians and in particular Indian men as husbands and partners......

Especially here - in a country they are not perceived/received well.....

IF that is the case it brings another set of hurdles coupled with cultural partner treatment/roles (I vrs T) that are going to be more difficult to overcome......

It might explain the short term success but longer duration failure of his relationships......

From Canada, white and born in Canada, I spent many years in India and hence the Avatar and the photo of my favorite beggar in Mumbai.

OK makes it easier for you then....

Get and read Thai Fever if you can...

Seems like you have been here for awhile....

Sometimes you can be so familiar with a place and culture you don't see it....And easy to get entrenched....Why Isaan of all places?

Why Isaan, met women here, From Bkk to Korat then to Roi-et and then Kalasin, found work in all those places, but came to meet women from here to be honest and have stayed because I had a good reputation for teaching and was welcome every where and sometimes teaching 2 schools in a day. Now I am ready to leave Kalasin, and keeping my options open, revisited Chiang Rai recently after 40 years and I like it, it is a possibilty.

I forgot about the "work" thing....Sounds like you're now mobile/free to move and look around.....Something the job wouldn't allow before .....

Don't let your thinking keep you trapped in "work" thinking mode.....

Travel a bit - dabble a bit and enjoy the freedom you didn't have before... Somewhere along the way things/places and the people around you will feel right.....Relax → don't go Hunting and enjoy being yourself....Somewhere along the way you'll stumble onto one that feels right.....There's lots out there - keep it simple....

[stephenterry]

As a rule I look for 45 and up, or give or take a few years either way, but I do not look for girls in their 30's.

I know one 45 woman who is traditional and fit. If you can support her anticipated lifestyle, house, holiday in Hong Kong I pad etc just pm me.

[GarryP]

Garry go to mbk. Sit in a coffee shop with passing traffic and smile at the women walking past. When one reciprocates indicate coffee and if she joins you go from there.

I would probably chicken out. I am pretty shy when meeting people, but am different once I get to know someone. I have started using more eye contact and smiling more (not to the level of being labelled a nutcase though). I'll have to get over my shyness though to actually start a conversation. That's why I tried the internet. Anyway thanks for the suggestion.

To the OP, aren't you moving a little too fast, cohabiting after knowing them for only a short time (no pun intended)?

[CMHomeboy78]

I came here in the late 1970s to visit a friend who had been stationed at U-Tapao in the USAF. He had stayed on here, married a Thai and built a house. Through him I was introduced into fast company in Bangkok, Pattaya, and Ban Chang where I rented a house with a mia chow, the first of several during the next couple of years. Unforgettable times and hot fun in the perpetual summertime here.

In 1979 I played a small part in a Thai movie that was being shot on location in Chiang Mai. It was the time of my life - the best place I had ever seen by a factor of ten. I'm a graphic artist and was very impressed by the history, life, and culture of Lanna T'ai. It felt like coming home.in some strange way.

I set up a studio and married a girl from an old Chiang Mai family. We have two daughters who my wife has raised in a traditional manner while having them educated for careers in the modern world. I'm happy to say that they've both turned out very well.

To sum up, I would say from my own experience that the girls you meet on the wild side can be a lot of fun if you are constantly on guard against being ripped-off. Many/most of them are amoral and as far as they are concerned you are just a farang tao nahn eng.

Meeting a better class of girls - and they can be found on all social and economic levels - is usually done through introductions by mutual friends.

Ultimately it all comes down to the luck of the draw.

All the best.

[WhamBam]

Been there. Done that. I stopped looking / trying.

Keep it simple. Keep it light in your heart.

Do not commit to a heavy relationship. Try the old adage of love 'em and leave 'em. Treat them mean, keep them keen sometimes works best too (not something I tend to do).

Do not pay pay pay - more is expected if you do.

Stop looking so hard. The harder you look, the harder it is to find what you want.

Move away from Thai women. Maybe try another nationality.

Go with the flow.

[ttthailand]

You need to kiss many frogs before you find the right one, if you are truly looking for only one lady. I have been in a few long relationships with Thai ladies and have found that I get bored after about a year and a half. The sex is fine but not as exciting, the conversation starts to repeat itself, the desire to go the next step (marriage) becomes an issue, little things start to bother both of us, etc etc .... Maybe just dating is the best idea.

Finding nice girls is very easy in some places. I have found that in Bangkok there are perhaps a million single office girls looking for a nice guy. Chiang Mai, Pattaya and other tourist areas there are too many farang and the girls who you come in contact with are normally already jaded by past experiences. So, think about where to live and if you really want a full time girlfriend or just date a few lovely girls.

Where to find the girls ... Stay away from the bar girls unless you just want sex for money. Online dating is a great place to look but it takes time and weeding out the bad. I have found just looking good and having a welcoming smile gets smiles and greetings in return. A lot however is if you are attractive or not and also how attractive of a girl you are looking for. If you are handsome, fit, speak some Thai, not cheap, and have a welcoming smile you don't need to do any work as girls come to you. If you are not so desirable and your main asset is just money then you will have to do some work and the girls you find that are attractive may just be there for financial reasons.

Not sure if any of this helps but take it for what it's worth.

[thaiduncankk]

It might just be me, but most people on this thread seem to describe Thai women as if they are buying a product ?

Must be a certain age group, must have this, must have that etc... It is like buying a something out of a catalogue.

Money will always be the main objective for the female, it might not show initially, but deep down, that is the ultimate target. It might take them months, or it might take them years, but the 'you buy house' conversation will always pop up every so often. It is funny how many Thai females would never entertain you buying a second hand house, they will use ghosts as an excuse, but in reality, it does not have the same monetary value or 'face value' as a new build. It is also the same when you suggest buying as house as you would in your home country, i.e. over a period of years on a monthly basis a.k.a. a mortgage. Are they prepared to wait for the mortgage period to finish before they can get hold of the house deeds ? 10 years ? 15 years ? Maybe not.

As far as appearance and other criteria go, you can be handsome, slim, fit or whatever, but if you do not have the personality, or more importantly, a sense of humour, it makes things a lot more difficult.

[canman]

It's a numbers game; you are going to have to improve your odds by meeting, dating, getting to know as many ladies as you can.

I worked with a guy in Canada many years ago, in the looks department he was not the type that most woman would give a second glance too; he was short, over weight and simply just not a good looking guy. He however did have "game" in that he was supremely self confident, was not afraid of rejection, able to make them laugh and not afraid to give it a go. His strategy was simple; approach as many women as possible for a date; and I mean literally as many as he could, he never stopped. He consistantly punched well above his weight.

[elgordo38]

26 and 77, I put my offer on the table !

You can't beat true love !

Everything has a price in life in this case it was more than reasonable. Eat your heart out Charlie Brown.

elgordo 38

What you have is a "business" arrangement,not love sorry.

Your naivety is showing again. love smuve. You obviously are just starting to step out in life with little interrelationship skills with women and that's OK we all had to learn. Do you know what a marriage agreement is? Love in today's modern world is a business and both parties are out to protect their interests. Sadly here a lot of falang do not protect their nest egg and loose it. Women want security men want companionship love? hmm yes and also the thing that makes our hormones rage. Love will always be part of a package not a stand alone item. I know your a bit jealous of my setup and I do not blame you for that. Seek and ye shall find as well. Again your naive. 99% of the women here want that financial security to be able to send money home to their parents who get little or nothing from the government pension plan. They are Thailand's unheralded pension plan. In my case she will have some financial security to move on after I am gone as well and she and the key words are "that she appreciates that". Come on silly grow up. Get your nose out of those romance novels. The days of a knight on a white charger seeking milady's hand are gone. Quit always saying sorry like above. It makes your "business" excuse sound that much lamer.

[elgordo38]

It's a numbers game; you are going to have to improve your odds by meeting, dating, getting to know as many ladies as you can.

I worked with a guy in Canada many years ago, in the looks department he was not the type that most woman would give a second glance too; he was short, over weight and simply just not a good looking guy. He however did have "game" in that he was supremely self confident, was not afraid of rejection, able to make them laugh and not afraid to give it a go. His strategy was simple; approach as many women as possible for a date; and I mean literally as many as he could, he never stopped. He consistantly punched well above his weight.

This guy reminds me of an old joke. Yes he is at a disadvantage but as the story goes ask 100 beautiful women to go to bed with you. 99 will slap your face.

[augustwest]

It's a numbers game; you are going to have to improve your odds by meeting, dating, getting to know as many ladies as you can.

I worked with a guy in Canada many years ago, in the looks department he was not the type that most woman would give a second glance too; he was short, over weight and simply just not a good looking guy. He however did have "game" in that he was supremely self confident, was not afraid of rejection, able to make them laugh and not afraid to give it a go. His strategy was simple; approach as many women as possible for a date; and I mean literally as many as he could, he never stopped. He consistantly punched well above his weight.

This guy reminds me of an old joke. Yes he is at a disadvantage but as the story goes ask 100 beautiful women to go to bed with you. 99 will slap your face.

If the one is outstanding it's worth it

Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

[canman]

It's a numbers game; you are going to have to improve your odds by meeting, dating, getting to know as many ladies as you can.

I worked with a guy in Canada many years ago, in the looks department he was not the type that most woman would give a second glance too; he was short, over weight and simply just not a good looking guy. He however did have "game" in that he was supremely self confident, was not afraid of rejection, able to make them laugh and not afraid to give it a go. His strategy was simple; approach as many women as possible for a date; and I mean literally as many as he could, he never stopped. He consistantly punched well above his weight.

This guy reminds me of an old joke. Yes he is at a disadvantage but as the story goes ask 100 beautiful women to go to bed with you. 99 will slap your face.

Precisely; this guy just didn't care how many times he got slapped so long as he got laid.

[petermik]

26 and 77, I put my offer on the table !

You can't beat true love !

Everything has a price in life in this case it was more than reasonable. Eat your heart out Charlie Brown.

elgordo 38

What you have is a "business" arrangement,not love sorry.

Your naivety is showing again. love smuve. You obviously are just starting to step out in life with little interrelationship skills with women and that's OK we all had to learn. Do you know what a marriage agreement is? Love in today's modern world is a business and both parties are out to protect their interests. Sadly here a lot of falang do not protect their nest egg and loose it. Women want security men want companionship love? hmm yes and also the thing that makes our hormones rage. Love will always be part of a package not a stand alone item. I know your a bit jealous of my setup and I do not blame you for that. Seek and ye shall find as well. Again your naive. 99% of the women here want that financial security to be able to send money home to their parents who get little or nothing from the government pension plan. They are Thailand's unheralded pension plan. In my case she will have some financial security to move on after I am gone as well and she and the key words are "that she appreciates that". Come on silly grow up. Get your nose out of those romance novels. The days of a knight on a white charger seeking milady's hand are gone. Quit always saying sorry like above. It makes your "business" excuse sound that much lamer.

And I repeat "you have business arrangement" nothing more nothing less............. if that suits you then fine,but there are women even in Thailand that value love over anything else-maybe this was lacking in your childhood hence the nature of your reply.

love smuve-that,s a new one on me....................keep taking the pills

[stephenterry]

26 and 77, I put my offer on the table !
You can't beat true love !

Everything has a price in life in this case it was more than reasonable. Eat your heart out Charlie Brown.

elgordo 38
What you have is a "business" arrangement,not love sorry.

Your naivety is showing again. love smuve. You obviously are just starting to step out in life with little interrelationship skills with women and that's OK we all had to learn. Do you know what a marriage agreement is? Love in today's modern world is a business and both parties are out to protect their interests. Sadly here a lot of falang do not protect their nest egg and loose it. Women want security men want companionship love? hmm yes and also the thing that makes our hormones rage. Love will always be part of a package not a stand alone item. I know your a bit jealous of my setup and I do not blame you for that. Seek and ye shall find as well. Again your naive. 99% of the women here want that financial security to be able to send money home to their parents who get little or nothing from the government pension plan. They are Thailand's unheralded pension plan. In my case she will have some financial security to move on after I am gone as well and she and the key words are "that she appreciates that". Come on silly grow up. Get your nose out of those romance novels. The days of a knight on a white charger seeking milady's hand are gone. Quit always saying sorry like above. It makes your "business" excuse sound that much lamer.

And I repeat "you have business arrangement" nothing more nothing less............. if that suits you then fine,but there are women even in Thailand that value love over anything else-maybe this was lacking in your childhood hence the nature of your reply.
love smuve-that,s a new one on me....................keep taking the pills

In that case every relationship is a business transaction. Money is always involved. Ask your partner.

[Gutenberg]

Garry go to mbk. Sit in a coffee shop with passing traffic and smile at the women walking past. When one reciprocates indicate coffee and if she joins you go from there.

I read those things from time to time but I think this is mostly based on Hollywood fiction. Never encountered anything like that or heard such a story.

However, the closest I get to that is I just hooked up with girls visiting a friend's house.

And regarding to Thailand, in my mid 20's I got some invitations from hotel receptionist girls, if I needed "company". But I was never sure if they just wanted to send me a hooker or actually wanted to join themselves as I always declined .

Now, the best to get a date with a Thai girl regardless what social status, class, job, etc. is via facebook if you can speak fluently Thai. Just post an average picture of yourself and ask for dates, invite to M.K. or go to cinema or something like that. But remember, use second facebook account where you don't have your wife as friend

[Cypress Hill]

Garry go to mbk. Sit in a coffee shop with passing traffic and smile at the women walking past. When one reciprocates indicate coffee and if she joins you go from there.

Yeah, creep 'em out; that'll work

OP, you're 65 - you're going to have to put in some effort.

Saying you're not willing to travel suggests you're being unrealistic and think you're some sort of "catch"

Don't care how "slim" or "fit" you THINK you are; at the end of the day, a 45 year old woman isn't going to be as affected by the temporary buzz of meeting someone new as she used to be in her youth - especially with a guy your age.

She'll be a lot more cynical and a lot more pragmatic - assessing you less on your personality and looks and more on your income, background, generosity and the chances of you cheating

Love may come into it later but odds are, it'll be that "gratitude love" you hear so much about in Thailand

[stephenterry]

Garry go to mbk. Sit in a coffee shop with passing traffic and smile at the women walking past. When one reciprocates indicate coffee and if she joins you go from there.

I read those things from time to time but I think this is mostly based on Hollywood fiction. Never encountered anything like that or heard such a story.

However, the closest I get to that is I just hooked up with girls visiting a friend's house.

And regarding to Thailand, in my mid 20's I got some invitations from hotel receptionist girls, if I needed "company". But I was never sure if they just wanted to send me a hooker or actually wanted to join themselves as I always declined .

Now, the best to get a date with a Thai girl regardless what social status, class, job, etc. is via facebook if you can speak fluently Thai. Just post an average picture of yourself and ask for dates, invite to M.K. or go to cinema or something like that. But remember, use second facebook account where you don't have your wife as friend

Well sunshine, it's been working for me, and if it's genuine smiling and not creepy it's guaranteed to work. But I guess you don't get out often.

[Gutenberg]

Well sunshine, it's been working for me, and if it's genuine smiling and not creepy it's guaranteed to work. But I guess you don't get out often.

I bet you get them all with that smile of yours...

[thaiduncankk]

It appears to me that most people here are in an arrangement, she has a fanny, so I am happy, and she washes my clothes, cooks for me, hey what a life ?

Be content with with your life !

[mcfish]

Dude its creepy. Just look at what you look like

See its creepy.

[thaiduncankk]

Is Kalasin that boring ?

[wow64]

Think the OP is only fit for Bar Girls.. Been here that long and have not figured it out.. Give up go the bg.. Meeting girls is not your thing...stick to knitting,

Sent from my c64

[CharlieH]

They are all mostly "love hate relationships" SHE loves the money and security, HE hates being lonely.

End of story, the rest is window dressing and what you want to believe.

[BookMan]

A friend of mine wrote a book "Thai Fever".....

ANYBODY really interested in any kind of serious relationship with a Thai woman within the Thai culture should read and school themselves on that book....If you don't/won't/can't do or accept what you read then a Thai woman is probably not right for you.....

I'm wary of anyone making definitive statements like this. "if you don't/won't/can't" do something, you must be a failure or unsuited. Silly really.

Thai fever is okay as a self help book, but it is hardly an all encompassing rule book for anything. Probably a bit dated now in many ways.

I've had a lot of interesting advice regarding dating Thai women over the years from a range of people.

That includes advice about how to meet the right Thai woman from: Guys that are single, guys who have been to Thailand for one month, advice from lesbians, gay men who have never dated a woman, men who have been married and divorced multiple times, men who have had just one TGF, men who only do P4P, misogynists, .. and the list goes on and on.

Really, I have to laugh most of the time. I can't take advice from those sources over seriously. Someone else's rules and guide to relationships & life are just that: For someone else.

[bridge2bridge]

Join the club.

[morpho]

I'm happy for all of those guys that have found meaningful relationships here, but after several failed relationships with Thai women I have completely given up. I just don't connect well with them in a relationship. I'm moving on to Vietnamese women whom I've found to be much more to my liking and much easier to relate to...but only time will tell if that proves to be correct.

[pgrahmm]

A friend of mine wrote a book "Thai Fever".....

ANYBODY really interested in any kind of serious relationship with a Thai woman within the Thai culture should read and school themselves on that book....If you don't/won't/can't do or accept what you read then a Thai woman is probably not right for you.....

I'm wary of anyone making definitive statements like this. "if you don't/won't/can't" do something, you must be a failure or unsuited. Silly really.

Thai fever is okay as a self help book, but it is hardly an all encompassing rule book for anything. Probably a bit dated now in many ways.

I've had a lot of interesting advice regarding dating Thai women over the years from a range of people.

That includes advice about how to meet the right Thai woman from: Guys that are single, guys who have been to Thailand for one month, advice from lesbians, gay men who have never dated a woman, men who have been married and divorced multiple times, men who have had just one TGF, men who only do P4P, misogynists, .. and the list goes on and on.

Really, I have to laugh most of the time. I can't take advice from those sources over seriously. Someone else's rules and guide to relationships & life are just that: For someone else.

So BM → now that you're done with the haughtily knocking and mocking part.....

How about walking the walk part → share your vast accumlated wisdom....

It must be more insightful than everything you mentioned in your post....

Pretty sure the OP would appreciate you sharing......

[F4UCorsair]

26 and 77, I put my offer on the table !

You can't beat true love !

Everything has a price in life in this case it was more than reasonable. Eat your heart out Charlie Brown.

If I was Elgordo38, I'd be sleeping with one eye open, not going anywhere near a balcony more than 50 cm above ground, exchanging part of each meal, after serving, with the 26 yo spouse, and any other precaution you can think of, in the interests of longevity.....your longevity!

[BookMan]

A friend of mine wrote a book "Thai Fever".....

ANYBODY really interested in any kind of serious relationship with a Thai woman within the Thai culture should read and school themselves on that book....If you don't/won't/can't do or accept what you read then a Thai woman is probably not right for you.....

I'm wary of anyone making definitive statements like this. "if you don't/won't/can't" do something, you must be a failure or unsuited. Silly really.

Thai fever is okay as a self help book, but it is hardly an all encompassing rule book for anything. Probably a bit dated now in many ways.

I've had a lot of interesting advice regarding dating Thai women over the years from a range of people.

That includes advice about how to meet the right Thai woman from: Guys that are single, guys who have been to Thailand for one month, advice from lesbians, gay men who have never dated a woman, men who have been married and divorced multiple times, men who have had just one TGF, men who only do P4P, misogynists, .. and the list goes on and on.

Really, I have to laugh most of the time. I can't take advice from those sources over seriously. Someone else's rules and guide to relationships & life are just that: For someone else.

So BM → now that you're done with the haughtily knocking and mocking part.....

How about walking the walk part → share your vast accumlated wisdom....

It must be more insightful than everything you mentioned in your post....

Pretty sure the OP would appreciate you sharing......

Nothing haughty or mocking about my post. If you want to read into it that way, so be it.

As for sharing...err, I did already share, PG. You replied to the post

[Jacks77]

Some tips for you:

- stay away from isan ladies

- date someone close to your age

- same income and social level as you

- better to look for chinese or thai chinese mix

- a women who studied abroad is a plus

- a women who never travel outside thailand is a minus

Folow this basic rules and u will find good girls.