Colabamumbai Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I know that a lot of foreigners are happily married to Thai women. I have a hard time meeting honest Thai women. I find meeting or dating sites a waste of time. I have lived here for 5 years now, and have had a number of relationships, nothing lasting more than 2 years. I do not visit the well known places to meet bar girls in Thailand and am not willing to travel the country to meet a lady. When a woman has lived with me in my apartment things go well, when I move into their homes, things fall apart. I have worked all my life, do not drink and did not come to Thailand for the women. I was married to a Thai lady 5 years ago. I do expect the woman to either understand my Thai and me hers or speak a some English, without communication, there is nothing. Do I expect to much? I have a hard time with dishonesty and lies. Some positive suggestions for those more successful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerry123 Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steven100 Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 nana comes to mind .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy chef 1 Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Everything in life comes at the right time...though be patient.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 You dont say your age, Or what you do for a living, Sometimes not looking things happen , dont have any fast hard rules, There are 1000s of Good Thai women who want a good man, But they dont live in Pattaya, I wish i had 10baht for every time a Thai lady has asked me if i know any good men, I would be a baht millionaire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thrilled Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I'm marrying A woman that I met on the net,Wayn.She finishes her PHD around June.We will be living at her place around 6 Months out of the year and the rest in the US.Um you might want to bend A little.Maybe lighten up.I find that everyone lies.Maybe Some are small white lies.No big deal.You can hunt far and wide your not going to find perfect.You probably have some things That many women don't like either.I try to comprise.Roll with the punches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocketboybkk Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 You seem to be able to find them ok Maybe you need to look at yourself & why they leave you? Do you have an attitude problem? Are you hard to live with? Are you a lazy person? Are you too bossy? Are you too demanding? & finally are you a cheap Charlie? Maybe it's you not them Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elgordo38 Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I'm marrying A woman that I met on the net,Wayn.She finishes her PHD around June.We will be living at her place around 6 Months out of the year and the rest in the US.Um you might want to bend A little.Maybe lighten up.I find that everyone lies.Maybe Some are small white lies.No big deal.You can hunt far and wide your not going to find perfect.You probably have some things That many women don't like either.I try to comprise.Roll with the punches. Patience is the key. I met mine after 3 years and 3 disasters but I learned from each one. We met on the Thai Love Links site she is 26 now and I am 77 been together 4 years now get along great. After I pass somebody is going to get a wonderful woman. I truly hope they appreciate her. They are out there. After 3 disasters I laid what I was offering on the table. We negotiated and came to an amicable agreement. Your biggest disadvantage is coming here with lust in your eyes and a loose wallet. It takes time to work your way through that. There is a lot of coal out there but sift through it for the diamonds. There are all kinds. The funniest one I heard lately was a young lady with 2 kids looking for a guy no sex involved but wanted to be maintained. She spoke no English but had high expectations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackfox Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 If you're in Krueng Thep I can give u some advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patrick1968 Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 i wish you all best mate . just give it time it will happen ,,good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Utley Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I'm guessing of course but I get the impression from your post that you may be a type A personality - a real turn off to a Thai woman. Not an easy thing to do but try softening up a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eldragon Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 It's difficult, mate. Thailand has changed a lot in the last five years. Salaries are higher, and it seems like Thai women are not looking to foreigners for a relationship (stability) as much as they were five years ago. Back then, almost every conversation started with "Do you have a Thai gf?" Rarely hear that one anymore... Also, it seems like our reputation is not as good as it might've been in the past. I feel like a lot of Thai women these days- for a variety of reasons- are embarrassed to be seen talking to a foreigner. There's also the fact that you're five years older and perhaps not as attractive to women you still find desirable. And some of em don't like guys that know things about Thailand. At the same time, you've probably realized some things about Thai women that you're just not willing to put up with. And you're better at identifying which ones are not worth the trouble. So that closes the field a bit. That being said, there are definitely a lot of good, attractive girls here. The difficult part is getting them over their fear of foreigners. It's a degrading process. I sometimes wonder why I bother. A person that's afraid (their words, not mine) of another ethnicity as a whole is probably not someone I'm gonna have a lot in common with... But still, it can be done, and it doesn't take more than a couple dates to show em they can trust you. Sounds like you're not a big party guy, so that means you're just gonna have to take some chances in public. I suggest opening with "Excuse me, do you speak English?" It's harmless, but gives you a good feel for where their English is at and how comfortable they are around foreigners. And if you get a bad vibe you can always abort by asking em where the nearest 7-Eleven is. Also, Internet dating is kinda taking over the courting process. I don't like it either. Expectations get too high. There's usually some kind of letdown involved. But you're competing with every guy that's got a smartphone. So you might want to consider it as a way of making female friends, and then see what their "sisters" look like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaiduncankk Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 26 and 77, I put my offer on the table ! You can't beat true love ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elgordo38 Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 26 and 77, I put my offer on the table ! You can't beat true love ! Everything has a price in life in this case it was more than reasonable. Eat your heart out Charlie Brown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexRRR Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Sometimes its you and sometimes its them and a lot of the time its both of you, I'm on the 4th TGF now, is it any easier.....sure some, some of the differences is there are white lies...there honest enough, part of the living process is watching how you think, making assumptions either way will put you in a bad place. Moving in together isn't really a good idea either, in the west i wouldn't dream of living with a woman if we hadn't been dating around 2 years but in Thailand they move into you hotel the day you arrive, since you live there keep them out of your apartment other than for a few nights a week, that worked well with TGF 3 when i was living there. There is also a thing called "the law of attraction" that pretty much tells you your attracting where your at, think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobbler Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 It's difficult, mate. Thailand has changed a lot in the last five years. Salaries are higher, and it seems like Thai women are not looking to foreigners for a relationship (stability) as much as they were five years ago. Back then, almost every conversation started with "Do you have a Thai gf?" Rarely hear that one anymore... Also, it seems like our reputation is not as good as it might've been in the past. I feel like a lot of Thai women these days- for a variety of reasons- are embarrassed to be seen talking to a foreigner. There's also the fact that you're five years older and perhaps not as attractive to women you still find desirable. And some of em don't like guys that know things about Thailand. At the same time, you've probably realized some things about Thai women that you're just not willing to put up with. And you're better at identifying which ones are not worth the trouble. So that closes the field a bit. That being said, there are definitely a lot of good, attractive girls here. The difficult part is getting them over their fear of foreigners. It's a degrading process. I sometimes wonder why I bother. A person that's afraid (their words, not mine) of another ethnicity as a whole is probably not someone I'm gonna have a lot in common with... But still, it can be done, and it doesn't take more than a couple dates to show em they can trust you. Sounds like you're not a big party guy, so that means you're just gonna have to take some chances in public. I suggest opening with "Excuse me, do you speak English?" It's harmless, but gives you a good feel for where their English is at and how comfortable they are around foreigners. And if you get a bad vibe you can always abort by asking em where the nearest 7-Eleven is. Also, Internet dating is kinda taking over the courting process. I don't like it either. Expectations get too high. There's usually some kind of letdown involved. But you're competing with every guy that's got a smartphone. So you might want to consider it as a way of making female friends, and then see what their "sisters" look like. BWHHHHHHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA i love that,priceless. See what their sisters look like. Love it. Smart very smart. Cheers cobbler Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geronimo Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 More often than not, I find if you are looking for that someone, they will not materialise. Go with the flow and see what occurs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobbler Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 Agree geronimo. Ive been married to my thai wife for 10 years. 1 in a million i call her. Saved my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eldragon Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 I'm guessing of course but I get the impression from your post that you may be a type A personality - a real turn off to a Thai woman. Not an easy thing to do but try softening up a bit. I had to look up type A. (I always wondered what that meant.) A little presumptuous. After all, one man's pessimist is another man's realist. Anyway, sounds like he's had several relationships with Thai girls, and at least one that lasted over a year. So there's something likable about the guy. He said he did not come here for the girls. That makes a pretty big difference in the way one plays the game. If you've got it in your head that Thai girls don't have to be the end game, you're less likely to accept or put up with their nuances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Based on the name and avatar it seems likely that the OP is from India.....If that is the case then he is starting with a the perceptual disadvantage/cultural/status aspects of Indians and in particular Indian men as husbands and partners...... Especially here - in a country they are not perceived/received well..... IF that is the case it brings another set of hurdles coupled with cultural partner treatment/roles (I vrs T) that are going to be more difficult to overcome...... It might explain the short term success but longer duration failure of his relationships...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 A friend of mine wrote a book "Thai Fever"..... ANYBODY really interested in any kind of serious relationship with a Thai woman within the Thai culture should read and school themselves on that book....If you don't/won't/can't do or accept what you read then a Thai woman is probably not right for you..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colabamumbai Posted November 27, 2015 Author Share Posted November 27, 2015 Am 65 just. I have worked for the past 5 years in Thailand to save my savings money and wait for my pension from Canada due today actually. On Non O for my life in T'land. My plan before coming back to Thailand after 40 years, was to go to Thai School, which I did, find work, which I did and third find a good women. I have met many good women, some just not right for me, to live with or marry, as I said I married 5 years ago and it did not last, after dating the woman for 6 months, she had ulterior motives. No I am not a bum, and not looking for sex, I do live in Isaan and have many friends happily married. I am educated, well traveled slim and fit. I have spent more than 10 years in the far east and appreciate the difference in peoples and cultures. I do know when the time is right it happens, otherwise you are not ready for it and do not appreciate it or recognize it as such. Many of the Isaan women who speak English are working in Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket, many have asked me to come there, but like a Thai man I am not into travelling hours to meet someone. I have been there and done that. I appreciate the positive replies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colabamumbai Posted November 27, 2015 Author Share Posted November 27, 2015 Based on the name and avatar it seems likely that the OP is from India.....If that is the case then he is starting with a the perceptual disadvantage/cultural/status aspects of Indians and in particular Indian men as husbands and partners...... Especially here - in a country they are not perceived/received well..... IF that is the case it brings another set of hurdles coupled with cultural partner treatment/roles (I vrs T) that are going to be more difficult to overcome...... It might explain the short term success but longer duration failure of his relationships...... From Canada, white and born in Canada, I spent many years in India and hence the Avatar and the photo of my favorite beggar in Mumbai. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Based on the name and avatar it seems likely that the OP is from India.....If that is the case then he is starting with a the perceptual disadvantage/cultural/status aspects of Indians and in particular Indian men as husbands and partners...... Especially here - in a country they are not perceived/received well..... IF that is the case it brings another set of hurdles coupled with cultural partner treatment/roles (I vrs T) that are going to be more difficult to overcome...... It might explain the short term success but longer duration failure of his relationships...... From Canada, white and born in Canada, I spent many years in India and hence the Avatar and the photo of my favorite beggar in Mumbai. OK makes it easier for you then.... Get and read Thai Fever if you can... Seems like you have been here for awhile.... Sometimes you can be so familiar with a place and culture you don't see it....And easy to get entrenched....Why Isaan of all places? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colabamumbai Posted November 27, 2015 Author Share Posted November 27, 2015 Based on the name and avatar it seems likely that the OP is from India.....If that is the case then he is starting with a the perceptual disadvantage/cultural/status aspects of Indians and in particular Indian men as husbands and partners...... Especially here - in a country they are not perceived/received well..... IF that is the case it brings another set of hurdles coupled with cultural partner treatment/roles (I vrs T) that are going to be more difficult to overcome...... It might explain the short term success but longer duration failure of his relationships...... From Canada, white and born in Canada, I spent many years in India and hence the Avatar and the photo of my favorite beggar in Mumbai. OK makes it easier for you then.... Get and read Thai Fever if you can... Seems like you have been here for awhile.... Sometimes you can be so familiar with a place and culture you don't see it....And easy to get entrenched....Why Isaan of all places? Why Isaan, met women here, From Bkk to Korat then to Roi-et and then Kalasin, found work in all those places, but came to meet women from here to be honest and have stayed because I had a good reputation for teaching and was welcome every where and sometimes teaching 2 schools in a day. Now I am ready to leave Kalasin, and keeping my options open, revisited Chiang Rai recently after 40 years and I like it, it is a possibilty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eldragon Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Am 65 just. I have worked for the past 5 years in Thailand to save my savings money and wait for my pension from Canada due today actually. On Non O for my life in T'land. My plan before coming back to Thailand after 40 years, was to go to Thai School, which I did, find work, which I did and third find a good women. I have met many good women, some just not right for me, to live with or marry, as I said I married 5 years ago and it did not last, after dating the woman for 6 months, she had ulterior motives. No I am not a bum, and not looking for sex, I do live in Isaan and have many friends happily married. I am educated, well traveled slim and fit. I have spent more than 10 years in the far east and appreciate the difference in peoples and cultures. I do know when the time is right it happens, otherwise you are not ready for it and do not appreciate it or recognize it as such. Many of the Isaan women who speak English are working in Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket, many have asked me to come there, but like a Thai man I am not into travelling hours to meet someone. I have been there and done that. I appreciate the positive replies. If you want a legit relationship and are not cool with the girl cheating on you, I'd keep the age relatively close. 40 up. You'll probably find less of that shyness and fear I mentioned in my first post too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarryP Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Been here 33 years, speak Thai language fluently, became single last year after 26 years of marriage, work full time in Bangkok with a decent salary and I am at a loss as to how to meet up with decent women (I have been out of circulation so long). Don't want to get involved with anyone at the office . I don't smoke and quit drinking a while ago. Fit and healthy and look good for my age, if I do say so myself. Internet dating is hit and miss (mostly miss). I think it would be even harder for the OP as he is out in the sticks. I think he will need to travel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colabamumbai Posted November 27, 2015 Author Share Posted November 27, 2015 As a rule I look for 45 and up, or give or take a few years either way, but I do not look for girls in their 30's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petermik Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 26 and 77, I put my offer on the table ! You can't beat true love ! Everything has a price in life in this case it was more than reasonable. Eat your heart out Charlie Brown. elgordo 38 What you have is a "business" arrangement,not love sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephenterry Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 Garry go to mbk. Sit in a coffee shop with passing traffic and smile at the women walking past. When one reciprocates indicate coffee and if she joins you go from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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