What Do Thai Girls Expect From A Farang?

[alexth]

A picture is worth a thousand words

So there is no Santa Clause afterall, huh?

[ray23]

"From my experience of two years living in Thialand, I think the above comment is true. Most young Thai women (under 25) I have encountered would not touch a Farang with a ten foot pole. They prefer young, handsome & sexy Thai boys thier own age, until a few years later & perhaps after a couple of babies & the Thai man ditches them. Then they will consider a Farang, because they have no alternative"

A lot of truth in that statement. most of the women we a farangs develop realtionships are the ones abused by Thai men. Now that being said, think about yourself when you were a young guy out and amongst them, were you a faithful loving boyfriend, husband. If you were your among a very select few. So I'm not putting Thai men down.

I just don't see a whole lot of difference in life in dating here then in anywhere else, with one exception this drive for a Thai man to marry a virgin. Which makes wonderful beautiful young ladies available to us. Now for me thats not a bad deal.

My wife is 31, Mother and Father deceased, I'm 59. Was her motivation money when she came to me hel_l yes, she couldn't speak english I couldn't speak Thai. Lets see now at the time I'm 56 she is 28, am I hamsome man heck no. Could I charm her with my wit, not any of which she could understand.

So yes it was money but a different kind of money, security for a decent life. Now I had aaporations of making a good life for both of us. But I needed a women in my life that could see further then a cell phone and a new motorcycle. My first year here I was known a three day Ray, no woman would last longer then three day with me. Simply because I was not fonding anyone that could get past the cell phone. In my mind that is not a good basis for a long term realtionship. They played me I played them, I had a great time they made some money.

Now when the wife came in to picture she was working on a farm for room and board, at a farm of a friend of mines sister. She owned one change of clothes and that was it. Had she had realtionships with Thai men yep. The last one stole money out of her purse as she was sitting with her father dying in the hospital. She had no children and no parents. Things were not exactly going well in her life, Mother beaten to death by the Father over a Mia Noi. Who then sent many years in prison. Leaving and her brother to be raised by a wonderful Aunt, whom I think is one the nicest people I have met in my life. Now lets see how many Thai guys do you think would be linning up to have a marriage with this girl. No increase in Status in marrying into the family, no money, not the magical virgin.

What did she want someone who would respect her, care for her and love her, but love was the last on the list. I would venture to say that the same things would be on the list of lady in your home country. More then likely in a different order, but there, there just the same.

I would say to anyone coming her with a reltionship in mind the key isn't was she a bar girl or a graduate student. It's what is in her heart, what does she want a cell phone or a life. If it's cell phone then have fun pay the price enjoy your life it is what it is, don't make more of it then what is really happening around you. The cell phone girls can be replaced in 15 Min, by any of us. recognize it for what it is. Your going to go through a lot of cell phone girls before you find one that really wants a future with you.

To me still not that different then at home I dated a lot women there as well, never found the one that I could make happy and she me. Not any different then here in my mind.

Get ready there is no magic, the wife and I fight like cats and dogs sometimes, marriages are not easy here or anywhere. In the end we come back together and start again, just like any marriage anywhere. The magic comes in learning to accept a person for what they are and knowing sometimes you are going to make them angy and they are going you angry. The only question is there something there that will bring you back together and start over. Same as everywhere else.

So the real thought in my mind isn't what do Thai ladies want, but what do you and she want. If you can find common ground, then you can work at a relationhip and have a good life. If you can't then be three day Ray. But don't cry on everybodies shoulder about it, accept it for what it is. If you can't do that probably you had the same problem before you got here. Hooking with a Thai lady isn't going to change that for you, only you can do that.

Not very complicated at all.

[alexth]

Ok, Ray, I kind of agree with you on many points of your post, except that these things may not work for all of us...no offenses intended, but...some of us are younger and would still need that spice in a relationship named LOVE. I'm not saying it's easy to find, anywhere, but still...I am 100% positive that there are a few (a lot, actually) pretty, young thai ladies that could offer o a farang a normal relationship based on respect AND love, not $$$.

Financial security, h_ll yeah, we're all looking for it, but this shouldn't be the first thing that comes to your mind when you think you might want to get into a serious relationship, something like...."Looks, checked; age, checked; respect, checked; money, error -> NO GO, Aborting", call me a dreamer, but I just don't believe in this kind of relationship, it would be a huge fake.

But then again, who am I to speak? I still believe in Santa Clause

[elsie]

A picture is worth a thousand words

So that's your argument??? Please tell me you're taking the piss.

In stead of just screaming "MONEY, IT'S ALL ABOUT MONEY!!", why don't you (self-censored) start trying to back up your argument? Some of you lot are so ignorant it's not funny.

[Donz]

A picture is worth a thousand words

So that's your argument??? Please tell me you're taking the piss.

In stead of just screaming "MONEY, IT'S ALL ABOUT MONEY!!", why don't you (self-censored) start trying to back up your argument? Some of you lot are so ignorant it's not funny.

I agree, Thai females tend to get a bashing in alot of threads. People love to always put them down, but alot of answers is influenced by where in Thailand they live.

People say a young Thai girl wouldnt touch a poor farang? Please..... ignorance at its finest.

[fruittbatt]

"From my experience of two years living in Thialand, I think the above comment is true. Most young Thai women (under 25) I have encountered would not touch a Farang with a ten foot pole. They prefer young, handsome & sexy Thai boys thier own age, until a few years later & perhaps after a couple of babies & the Thai man ditches them. Then they will consider a Farang, because they have no alternative"

A lot of truth in that statement. most of the women we a farangs develop realtionships are the ones abused by Thai men. Now that being said, think about yourself when you were a young guy out and amongst them, were you a faithful loving boyfriend, husband. If you were your among a very select few. So I'm not putting Thai men down.

I just don't see a whole lot of difference in life in dating here then in anywhere else, with one exception this drive for a Thai man to marry a virgin. Which makes wonderful beautiful young ladies available to us. Now for me thats not a bad deal.

My wife is 31, Mother and Father deceased, I'm 59. Was her motivation money when she came to me hel_l yes, she couldn't speak english I couldn't speak Thai. Lets see now at the time I'm 56 she is 28, am I hamsome man heck no. Could I charm her with my wit, not any of which she could understand.

So yes it was money but a different kind of money, security for a decent life. Now I had aaporations of making a good life for both of us. But I needed a women in my life that could see further then a cell phone and a new motorcycle. My first year here I was known a three day Ray, no woman would last longer then three day with me. Simply because I was not fonding anyone that could get past the cell phone. In my mind that is not a good basis for a long term realtionship. They played me I played them, I had a great time they made some money.

Now when the wife came in to picture she was working on a farm for room and board, at a farm of a friend of mines sister. She owned one change of clothes and that was it. Had she had realtionships with Thai men yep. The last one stole money out of her purse as she was sitting with her father dying in the hospital. She had no children and no parents. Things were not exactly going well in her life, Mother beaten to death by the Father over a Mia Noi. Who then sent many years in prison. Leaving and her brother to be raised by a wonderful Aunt, whom I think is one the nicest people I have met in my life. Now lets see how many Thai guys do you think would be linning up to have a marriage with this girl. No increase in Status in marrying into the family, no money, not the magical virgin.

What did she want someone who would respect her, care for her and love her, but love was the last on the list. I would venture to say that the same things would be on the list of lady in your home country. More then likely in a different order, but there, there just the same.

I would say to anyone coming her with a reltionship in mind the key isn't was she a bar girl or a graduate student. It's what is in her heart, what does she want a cell phone or a life. If it's cell phone then have fun pay the price enjoy your life it is what it is, don't make more of it then what is really happening around you. The cell phone girls can be replaced in 15 Min, by any of us. recognize it for what it is. Your going to go through a lot of cell phone girls before you find one that really wants a future with you.

To me still not that different then at home I dated a lot women there as well, never found the one that I could make happy and she me. Not any different then here in my mind.

Get ready there is no magic, the wife and I fight like cats and dogs sometimes, marriages are not easy here or anywhere. In the end we come back together and start again, just like any marriage anywhere. The magic comes in learning to accept a person for what they are and knowing sometimes you are going to make them angy and they are going you angry. The only question is there something there that will bring you back together and start over. Same as everywhere else.

So the real thought in my mind isn't what do Thai ladies want, but what do you and she want. If you can find common ground, then you can work at a relationhip and have a good life. If you can't then be three day Ray. But don't cry on everybodies shoulder about it, accept it for what it is. If you can't do that probably you had the same problem before you got here. Hooking with a Thai lady isn't going to change that for you, only you can do that.

Not very complicated at all.

Nice post, Ray. I think you're on to something pretty important when you say that it takes common ground and a lot of good-will and effort by both parties to make a marriage work. Chok dee to you and your wife!

[elsie]

I used to be with this British guy. When we first got together, he paid for most of drinks/meals. I was allowed to chip in once in a while. Then, he lost his job and he was sometimes short of money. So, I started paying for most of the bills. If he was skint, no problem, I took care of all bills. I even gave him money to take a cab home. Now, it's him who couldn't live like that. He felt so bad that I had to pay.

Now, say "IT'S ALL ABOUT MONEY" to my face.

[mouse]

Ok people I have to come clean. I love my wife very much and she gave me three beautiful children. Take a look at www.family.michelonia.com But things did not start that way. We met in a public setting and while I was 44 and she was a mere 21. Even then I was a little pudgy not exactly handsome, but, I was living well, Mercedes, good income, my own business in Europe and spending money like there was not tomorrow.

After selling my business, getting married and then moving here, she one day admitted that she now loved me, having not even had the thought before. All that went through her mind before, was the good life to come. She had never been taught to think as western women do.

She had all the right questions and comments at the beginning. "Who will take care of you when you are old?" "Why do you not have children?" and offered me a football team of kids in exchange for the security of being with me. Actually three are more than enough and having been married previosuly I can tell you that the difference between her and farang women was her directness and sometimes cruel honesty.

I remember being a suscessful businessman in Europe and found that women that would not give me the time of day when I earlier retired from the US military, went out of their way to meet up with me (accidentally) just because I now had money, dressed well and drove a 320E.

So what was the difference betwene the farang women and my Thai wife. Nothing, other than DISCRETION! nothing more nothing less. We cannot blame them for wanting something they have never had.

[Donz]

Well my gf is not with me for money, thats for sure.

My gf is from the higher class.

I think this thai girl wants a farang for money is mostly from the lower class of Thai girls, wanting money to help her family.

Alot of posts regarding this thread is just a blatant guess and I believe no-one really has the answer yet.

[Ijustwannateach]

I do think that the whole "age" thing is less of an issue here (and I'm by no means at any extreme end of it myself) than a lot of people would like it to be.

I have an additional perspective to bring here because I also lived in Japan for a long time- an Asian country with people of similar attractiveness and sexuality. The main difference there was that money was never an issue- the Japanese are comfortably middle class, if not rich by Thai standards. However, I never met any foreign man (or woman, for that matter) there of any age who didn't have an active social life, quite often with partners much younger than he (whether gay or straight).

If it's all about money and security, how do you explain Japan? Easy- the theory's wrong. Some Japanese like foreigners exclusively (just as some white folks won't date other white folks)- some Japanese prefer individuals for a variety of reasons: appearance, emotional issues, friendship and like-minded interests.

In Thailand, money and security can confuse the issue, and it's easy to get seduced by the ease and choice that money gives people who date in a certain sector of the society. But it's very rude, and I think highly inaccurate, to characterise Thais in general who are dating older/richer people as being only interested in their money- because that's certainly not the only factor in Japan OR Thailand.

"Steven"

[Singha Gold]

I just looked at my wife in a serious way and said "Darling, what do you want from me?"

She gave me a puzzled look for a few seconds, then said "Somtam."

I'm still laughing over the Somtam.... It's that or Plaa Raa

[meadish_sweetball]

Ok people I have to come clean. I love my wife very much and she gave me three beautiful children. Take a look at www.family.michelonia.com But things did not start that way. We met in a public setting and while I was 44 and she was a mere 21. Even then I was a little pudgy not exactly handsome, but, I was living well, Mercedes, good income, my own business in Europe and spending money like there was not tomorrow.

After selling my business, getting married and then moving here, she one day admitted that she now loved me, having not even had the thought before. All that went through her mind before, was the good life to come. She had never been taught to think as western women do.

She had all the right questions and comments at the beginning. "Who will take care of you when you are old?" "Why do you not have children?" and offered me a football team of kids in exchange for the security of being with me. Actually three are more than enough and having been married previosuly I can tell you that the difference between her and farang women was her directness and sometimes cruel honesty.

I remember being a suscessful businessman in Europe and found that women that would not give me the time of day when I earlier retired from the US military, went out of their way to meet up with me (accidentally) just because I now had money, dressed well and drove a 320E.

So what was the difference betwene the farang women and my Thai wife. Nothing, other than DISCRETION! nothing more nothing less. We cannot blame them for wanting something they have never had.

Fair enough, but surely you are smart enough to see that just because your personal experience and relationships have worked out in the way you describe, that other people's lives and experiences cannot be different.

Nobody's denying many women find wealth and influence attractive - but they are by no means the only decisive factors for choosing a partner.

Kindness, intelligence, assertiveness, humour, looks, social skills, age and quite a few other factors all play into the game, whether in Thailand or anywhere else. The fact that it is *easier* to find a partner here for many men does not mean that all Thai women choose their foreign boyfriends or husbands mainly for reasons of money/security. Far too simplistic. I've seen older, seriously rich guys get beaten in the competition by younger, less wealthy guys.

If your argument really held water, I for one would not have had much of a chance in Sweden or here, not coming from a particularly rich background and having to work hard accumulating something. I do attribute the difference in attention I got when coming to Thailand partially to the income difference factor... but trust me, all Thai women do NOT think like that.

[Donz]

Ok people I have to come clean. I love my wife very much and she gave me three beautiful children. Take a look at www.family.michelonia.com But things did not start that way. We met in a public setting and while I was 44 and she was a mere 21. Even then I was a little pudgy not exactly handsome, but, I was living well, Mercedes, good income, my own business in Europe and spending money like there was not tomorrow.

After selling my business, getting married and then moving here, she one day admitted that she now loved me, having not even had the thought before. All that went through her mind before, was the good life to come. She had never been taught to think as western women do.

She had all the right questions and comments at the beginning. "Who will take care of you when you are old?" "Why do you not have children?" and offered me a football team of kids in exchange for the security of being with me. Actually three are more than enough and having been married previosuly I can tell you that the difference between her and farang women was her directness and sometimes cruel honesty.

I remember being a suscessful businessman in Europe and found that women that would not give me the time of day when I earlier retired from the US military, went out of their way to meet up with me (accidentally) just because I now had money, dressed well and drove a 320E.

So what was the difference betwene the farang women and my Thai wife. Nothing, other than DISCRETION! nothing more nothing less. We cannot blame them for wanting something they have never had.

Fair enough, but surely you are smart enough to see that just because your personal experience and relationships have worked out in the way you describe, that other people's lives and experiences cannot be different.

Nobody's denying many women find wealth and influence attractive - but they are by no means the only decisive factors for choosing a partner.

Kindness, intelligence, assertiveness, humour, looks, social skills, age and quite a few other factors all play into the game, whether in Thailand or anywhere else. The fact that it is *easier* to find a partner here for many men does not mean that all Thai women choose their foreign boyfriends or husbands mainly for reasons of money/security. Far too simplistic. I've seen older, seriously rich guys get beaten in the competition by younger, less wealthy guys.

If your argument really held water, I for one would not have had much of a chance in Sweden or here, not coming from a particularly rich background and having to work hard accumulating something. I do attribute the difference in attention I got when coming to Thailand partially to the income difference factor... but trust me, all Thai women do NOT think like that.

Exaxtly, Ive had a wealthy business man in sydney try to steal my gf from me, but im not going to repeat it as ive have done it in another thread.

People's can not judge all Thai girls based on living in Pattaya etc.

[britmaveric]

People's can not judge all Thai girls based on living in Pattaya etc.

Typical clueless Donz - where someone live has nought to do with who they are. Very judgemental!!!

[mrbojangles]

Nobody's denying many women find wealth and influence attractive - but they are by no means the only decisive factors for choosing a partner.

The wisest words in thread so far

[Donz]

People's can not judge all Thai girls based on living in Pattaya etc.

Typical clueless Donz - where someone live has nought to do with who they are. Very judgemental!!!

Really, so Pattaya does represents all Thai girls to you, who is the clueless one my friend

[svenivan]

My rudimentary experiences here:

I have been in Thailand for almost 5 years now. I have had relationships with a

few upperclass ladies but also short stories with some bargirls and dating a lot

of middleclass girls. Of course the bargirls I found started working in the bar

the same night and I was their first customer! (Yes, I have been a bad boy!)

I must say I had a big problem to understand all of these ladies. Coming from west

with totally different culture and traditions, another religion and on top of all

that, a languagebarrier. Of course things go wrong, small misunderstandings that

grows to bad arguments etc etc.

The "age" thing that is so important in the west is not a big thing here. I was

out dating girls that brought their mother that was younger than me. And no

mothers nor the dates were worried about my age.

And sometimes my date had a surprise for me in the restaurant, 2,3 or 4 of her

friends came and joined us. That made me a little bit upset in the beginning but

that is just normal Thai style. The Thai boyfriends have same problem. The girls

just want to get a little biger face by inviting their girlfriends.

TIT! We have to understand that. We should not and cannot try to "westernize" the

Thai woman. Most of us has left the west because we did not like the western

lifestyle (and the weather, and the taxes etc). And some of us were tired of the

western women.

After 3 years I met my wonderful lady. She has been working in a factory in Korat

7 years, she has been married (her husband cheated on her), she was going to

start university studies (her parents are very poor, no way she could go to

university when she was young).

She sent money to her parents every month to help them, that is what a good

daugther do and she was going to work and study. That was her plan.

We met in the restaurant where she had started working and some strange music was

playing in our ears.

After been dating her a couple of days she wanted to buy the book "Thai fewer".

She had heard about the book from girlfriends with farang husbands.

That book is good. I don't know if it describes the Thai culture right but I got

a much better understanding and I also found out why I had had so much problems

with the earlier gf's and dates.

A Thai girl wants security for herself and her parents. And that does not include

yatch's, Lexus, 5 bedroom houses etc. If she is upper or middleclass, her parents

can probably take care of themselves but if they are farmers and get old, she has

to help them.

I told her very early that I love to help her take care of her parents but no

brothers, uncles, cousins or sick buffalos.

As said before, some Thai girls don't want to have a Thai boyfriend because they

cannot trust them.

And most Thai men don't marry divorced girls.

And western men find Asian girls attractive, Asian girls sometimes find western

men attractive.

I always show respect to my lady, to her religion and to her parents. I try to

understand her (sometimes not so easy) but to say "mai pen rai" 10 times help.

So what do I get back? I got a woman that loves to take care of me, takes care of

our house with cleaning, laundry, cooking, take care of garden, feeding the dogs

and the cats. On top of that she is studying hard and she do that very well.

She never gives me a hard time if I take an extra beer or stay up late watching some

interesting sport on TV and sleep long next day. She actually never start an

argument about anything.

She takes care of the house and I take care of the computer problems like emails,

Thaivisa, Tiger Woods Golf etc etc.

We discuss everything and are joking a lot in a nice way. Always lots of smiles.

She is my big love and my best friend.

I don't think I could find a western woman to have this good life with. And the

difference in age has never been a problem for her, her family or her friends.

I am sure I am not alone with these experiences, there are a lot of farangs

living a very happy life with their Thai wifes/girlfriends.

To try our best to understand each other and show respect to each other helps a

lot!

But maybe I am wrong! But I don't care, I am very, very happy!

[dgoz]

My rudimentary experiences here:

I have been in Thailand for almost 5 years now. I have had relationships with a

few upperclass ladies but also short stories with some bargirls and dating a lot

of middleclass girls. Of course the bargirls I found started working in the bar

the same night and I was their first customer! (Yes, I have been a bad boy!)

I must say I had a big problem to understand all of these ladies. Coming from west

with totally different culture and traditions, another religion and on top of all

that, a languagebarrier. Of course things go wrong, small misunderstandings that

grows to bad arguments etc etc.

The "age" thing that is so important in the west is not a big thing here. I was

out dating girls that brought their mother that was younger than me. And no

mothers nor the dates were worried about my age.

And sometimes my date had a surprise for me in the restaurant, 2,3 or 4 of her

friends came and joined us. That made me a little bit upset in the beginning but

that is just normal Thai style. The Thai boyfriends have same problem. The girls

just want to get a little biger face by inviting their girlfriends.

TIT! We have to understand that. We should not and cannot try to "westernize" the

Thai woman. Most of us has left the west because we did not like the western

lifestyle (and the weather, and the taxes etc). And some of us were tired of the

western women.

After 3 years I met my wonderful lady. She has been working in a factory in Korat

7 years, she has been married (her husband cheated on her), she was going to

start university studies (her parents are very poor, no way she could go to

university when she was young).

She sent money to her parents every month to help them, that is what a good

daugther do and she was going to work and study. That was her plan.

We met in the restaurant where she had started working and some strange music was

playing in our ears.

After been dating her a couple of days she wanted to buy the book "Thai fewer".

She had heard about the book from girlfriends with farang husbands.

That book is good. I don't know if it describes the Thai culture right but I got

a much better understanding and I also found out why I had had so much problems

with the earlier gf's and dates.

A Thai girl wants security for herself and her parents. And that does not include

yatch's, Lexus, 5 bedroom houses etc. If she is upper or middleclass, her parents

can probably take care of themselves but if they are farmers and get old, she has

to help them.

I told her very early that I love to help her take care of her parents but no

brothers, uncles, cousins or sick buffalos.

As said before, some Thai girls don't want to have a Thai boyfriend because they

cannot trust them.

And most Thai men don't marry divorced girls.

And western men find Asian girls attractive, Asian girls sometimes find western

men attractive.

I always show respect to my lady, to her religion and to her parents. I try to

understand her (sometimes not so easy) but to say "mai pen rai" 10 times help.

So what do I get back? I got a woman that loves to take care of me, takes care of

our house with cleaning, laundry, cooking, take care of garden, feeding the dogs

and the cats. On top of that she is studying hard and she do that very well.

She never gives me a hard time if I take an extra beer or stay up late watching some

interesting sport on TV and sleep long next day. She actually never start an

argument about anything.

She takes care of the house and I take care of the computer problems like emails,

Thaivisa, Tiger Woods Golf etc etc.

We discuss everything and are joking a lot in a nice way. Always lots of smiles.

She is my big love and my best friend.

I don't think I could find a western woman to have this good life with. And the

difference in age has never been a problem for her, her family or her friends.

I am sure I am not alone with these experiences, there are a lot of farangs

living a very happy life with their Thai wifes/girlfriends.

To try our best to understand each other and show respect to each other helps a

lot!

But maybe I am wrong! But I don't care, I am very, very happy!

You're not wrong brother.

I've had western and Asian gf's. There's no comparison.

Enjoy.

[Donz]

So many generalisations here.

Whats wrong with western woman now? Females of all races are pretty much the same, all have there different characters etc.

I know people are just going off there experiences but that doesnt mean the whole race of girls are this or that.

I guess I am too but I have lots of asian and western friends who are female (many Thai) there is a few of each that wan a rich boyfriend so they can have security etc, but MOST dont care and just looking for there soul mate.

People may just have bad luck and meet money hungry girls a few times in a row then they probaly think that type of girl is all money hungrt ect.

My point is I believe more girls are after love not money, you need to look in low risk places eg not a bar but even they do work out time to time. But if you look long and hard enough you will find a great girl who will be with you for you from the start, not love you later

[leftcross]

western women and asian women are very different. they have different value systems. one has been affected by feminism, one hasn't.

[kayo]

I used to be with this British guy. When we first got together, he paid for most of drinks/meals. I was allowed to chip in once in a while. Then, he lost his job and he was sometimes short of money. So, I started paying for most of the bills. If he was skint, no problem, I took care of all bills. I even gave him money to take a cab home....................

So you ARE my ex TGF.

Well, for what it's worth, I had a great relationship with you, and I was sorry we decided to move on from eachother!

Hope you are happy ex-teerak. And thank you for your generosity in my days of despair!

[svenivan]

So many generalisations here.

Whats wrong with western woman now? Females of all races are pretty much the same, all have there different characters etc.

Donz, I think you are right here! (Never thought I would say that! )

If you in the west see a 55-65 year old guy walking around with a 25-28 year old beautiful girl I don't think that you guess that the guy is a busdriver or working in a gasstation.

He can be a lawyear, a doctor, an artist or anything high up in the society. So the girl got a "Big face" together with this man, she might go to fashionable parties, live in fancy hotels and her friends will envy her for her new life. Her parents might not object to this relation. They might get a "Big face" too.

I think we have this "Big face" thing in the west too. It must not be connected to money but it is connected to status.

So the Thai girls might not be different to western girls.

Or ?

[ray23]

Ok, Ray, I kind of agree with you on many points of your post, except that these things may not work for all of us...no offenses intended, but...some of us are younger and would still need that spice in a relationship named LOVE. I'm not saying it's easy to find, anywhere, but still...I am 100% positive that there are a few (a lot, actually) pretty, young thai ladies that could offer o a farang a normal relationship based on respect AND love, not $$$.

Financial security, h_ll yeah, we're all looking for it, but this shouldn't be the first thing that comes to your mind when you think you might want to get into a serious relationship, something like...."Looks, checked; age, checked; respect, checked; money, error -> NO GO, Aborting", call me a dreamer, but I just don't believe in this kind of relationship, it would be a huge fake.

But then again, who am I to speak? I still believe in Santa Clause

No offence taken at all, I have pretty ,much lived my dreams all my life and still do. You see dreams do change with time. Now what I have is my dream if it wasn't I would be doing something else. I have a very poor writing style for example I noticed that I wrote I had been Thailand for two years actually it's four. If the relationship the wife and I have had been based solely on money it would not have survived three years. But it did start that way. Then it grew to mutual love and respect. Same dream just a different way to get there.

We have spice, but we have friendship as well, there is no one I would rather have on the back of my bike exploring. The fact that we are dreamers doesn't change but the dream do.

I still can't wait for Santa to show up LOL

[elsie]

Hope you are happy ex-teerak. And thank you for your generosity in my days of despair!

No worries, ex-darling. We did have a good time, didn't we?

[farangsay]

Hope you are happy ex-teerak. And thank you for your generosity in my days of despair!

No worries, ex-darling. We did have a good time, didn't we?

In the best possible way you understand , get a room huh ?

[elsie]

In the best possible way you understand , get a room huh ?

Will certainly do when my current boyfriend is back in town.

[My Friend Same]

a little over 3 years ago I was dating 3 Thai girls simultaneously for a short period of just short of a month. Girl #1 I met in the Thermae. She was one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seem in Thailand bar none and I really fell for her. She was 26 and I was 42 at the time. I'm a shade overweight and a bit past my prime but this didn't bother her or the other 2 girls. My wardrobe consists of T shirt, shorts and flip flops and this did not bother any of the 3 either. I felt like a lucky guy dating these 3 but a choice would have to be made eventually.

Girl #2 was a Hi So I had met on the internet. She had a disdain for Issan women and did not like Sukhumvit, where I had been living for a year in a hotel. Nevertheless she took a liking towards me and called me for hours on the phone at her expense! One day we agreed to meet up and she picked me up in her brand spanking new car! Wow was I impressed. We went for a drive at night and she showed me many spots around BKK. At one point she stopped at an ATM but her pin did not work! She said it was a friend's card and made a call to no avail. She sat in the car troubled for a bit then got out and withdrew some cash. I found this whole thing strange. She came to pick me up the next day and we went to lunch. She offered to pick up the tab! 500 baht, saying she could cover "the small stuff". I would have none of that and paid. After she drove to her mobile phone carrier shop and came out with a 6000 baht phone bill! I found this bit odd as I did with the ATM thing the night before. She then pulled into a shopping mall and mentioned something about needing clothes for a wedding she was going to. I started to get the feeling she was hoping I would volunteer for things like ATM replacement, phone bill help and mall shopping help but I cannot be sure. During our drive her phone rang and she told the guy she would see him on MSN later. She finally got me back to my hotel. One thing I noticed was that she was quite snobby when I introduced her to a very nice Thai employee at the hotel that I was close with. She really appeared to look down on non HI SO Thais. All of this being strange and not seeing it leading anywhere positive, I made my decision in my mind to not see this person again. She did continue to call until I sent her a pic of one of the other 2 girls and mentioned that I decided to live together with her.

Girl #3 was a girl I met walking down Sukhumvit. Being a Suk veteran, I knew this girl had not been around before. She said she went to Nana disco but that she could not get in as she forgot her ID. She told me she was 20 but I found out later she was 18. I decided to stay with this girl as she was the most sincere. I cover all expenses with her and am happy to do so. I also help out her mother who takes care of her now 5 y/o son in Issan. I have been with her 3+ years now and she is great

[meadish_sweetball]

...Girl #1 I met in the Thermae. She was one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seem in Thailand...etc.

Thanks for the laugh. Any goats around this morning?

[jamman]

It's pretty simple... IF you think something financial is expected from you... take money out of the equation and only date gals from similar socio-economic backgrounds as yourself.

Women of any class tend to have financial expectations, and the higher the class, the higher the expectations. Women rarely marry down.

Men and women get points in various categories. Looks, social class and power (includes finances), personality, sexual chemistry being of chief importance. Men are more likely to prioritize in the order of looks, sexual chemistry, personality, social class, while women are more likely to prioritize in the order of social class and power, personality, looks, sexual chemistry.

An older man with average looks and finances who wants an attractive young mate will have to trade off some qualities in order for the deal to be fair, and so he can only attract a young and attractive mate from a lower class. Thai people are generally less educated than their western counterparts in the "same" class, and Hollywood and financial exchange rates and other global social ranking scales tends to place us in a priveldged position.

So an older western man of average looks and personality and western income can find a young attractive Asian woman who feels she got a fair bargain. I'd think that the same man would have to compromise on youth and beauty if he wanted someone with a western quality education and from a family of several generations of the same social class.

Edited October 16, 2006 by jamman

[Heng]

It's pretty simple... IF you think something financial is expected from you... take money out of the equation and only date gals from similar socio-economic backgrounds as yourself.

Women of any class tend to have financial expectations, and the higher the class, the higher the expectations. Women rarely marry down.

From most I have met so far, most farangs aren't in this problematic situation where the woman is marrying down, quite the opposite.

An older man with average looks and finances who wants an attractive young mate will have to trade off some qualities in order for the deal to be fair, and so he can only attract a young and attractive mate from a lower class. Thai people are generally less educated than their western counterparts in the "same" class, and Hollywood and financial exchange rates and other global social ranking scales tends to place us in a priveldged position.

In my opinion most (sensitive folks out there try not to take offense, by no means am I saying all) farang-Thai couples I have met, that's both where the man or woman is farang, the farang is trading off for far more than he/she is getting. It's not just say PhD's w/ 6 bedroom homes marrying folks with only undergrad degrees and townhouses.... it tends to be the equivalent of folks marrying into the equivalent of por 3 educations and no secure homeownership.

I'd think that the same man would have to compromise on youth and beauty if he wanted someone with a western quality education and from a family of several generations of the same social class.

In general (sensitive folks out there try not to take offense, by no means am I saying all) yes. My original point was that for those who don't feel they have to... to not sell themselves short like that. Perhaps raising the lowest bar would be a good start: when selecting a mate, at the very least choose someone who uses their mind rather than their body to make a living.