You're not married to a Thai!

[SoiBiker]

I get this a lot from a certain element on Thaivisa - "What can you know about Thailand? You're not even married to a Thai!"

I don't really see the sense in this. Is the only way to get to know Thai people by marrying them? Does the key to ultimate understanding lie between their legs?

From what I see, there are plenty of guys here who remain pretty clueless about the place despite being married to a Thai. They've been guided by a Thai woman since the first time they ended up in a bar, and have had someone to translate, tour guide and facilitate most aspects of Thai life ever since. Never had to think for themselves. In the meantime, those of us without a Thai partner have had to figure everything out for ourselves, and learned a fair bit on the way.

(Yes, I know. Not everyone meets their wife in a bar. I was just making a point).

So what do others think? Are those of us without a Thai wife (or husband) doomed to a life of ignorance here? Or is this just a way some people have found to look down on those who aren't doing Thailand the way they think it should be done?

[MaeJoMTB]

Sleeping with them, living with them and talking to them gives most people a bit of a clue to what's going on around.

The ultimate being having children with them, cos the children let it all out.

Foreign couples tend to live insulated lives from the locals, wherever they are in the world.

[SoiBiker]

But you can talk to them without sleeping with them, you know.

[JLCrab]

That's OK OP -- I'm not married either. She doesn't speak English and I give on occasion reverse-Sin Sod to her family so I don't have to marry her.

When I first got here I went to the Immigration in Nong Khai and after we were done the guy asked if i was married. I said No but I have a girlfriend. He Asked: Why didn't you bring her? I said: She doesn't speak English. He said: Oh ... Ne-e-ext?

[peter48]

Never, never marry a Thai. Love them, sleep , anything but marriage is a legal contract which in farang land means 50% of your property, wealth, house and pension. Most thai farang unions end . love them, love them them move on. Do not as you will regtet it.

[MaeJoMTB]

Never, never marry a Thai. Love them, sleep , anything but marriage is a legal contract which in farang land means 50% of your property, wealth, house and pension. Most thai farang unions end . love them, love them them move on. Do not as you will regtet it.

Australia maybe,

England No,

America No.

[SoiBiker]

Thanks for the tips, chaps - but I'm already married. I'm just not married to a Thai.

[JLCrab]

Thanks for the tips, chaps - but I'm already married. I'm just not married to a Thai.

Congratulations -- does she know as much or as little about Thailand as you do?

[robblok]

But you can talk to them without sleeping with them, you know.

Sure but I think guys who have Thai g/fs or who are married with them are far deeper involved and have far more contact with Thais and their ways then those who don't. The relation would be far more intimate and you would meet friends and family of Thais far more as those who have an wife / gf from their home country.

[SoiBiker]

Thanks for the tips, chaps - but I'm already married. I'm just not married to a Thai.

Congratulations -- does she know as much or as little about Thailand as you do?

About the same, I'd say.

[JLCrab]

Thanks for the tips, chaps - but I'm already married. I'm just not married to a Thai.

Congratulations -- does she know as much or as little about Thailand as you do?

About the same, I'd say.

Well that's fine -- some of the most interesting things I've earned in Thailand have come from Thai persons who do not speak English and had pretty much before never even met a Farang or be able to have a conversation with one. But I guess things like that would tend to occur a ways away from Bangkok than otherwise.

[SoiBiker]

But you can talk to them without sleeping with them, you know.

Sure but I think guys who have Thai g/fs or who are married with them are far deeper involved and have far more contact with Thais and their ways then those who don't. The relation would be far more intimate and you would meet friends and family of Thais far more as those who have an wife / gf from their home country.

For sure there are certain aspects that you'll get more insight into with a Thai partner - thankfully some of you are good enough to share some of those insights on here so the rest of us can get an idea. But is it really fair to say that we can know nothing about Thailand unless we tie the knot with a Thai?

[SoiBiker]

Thanks for the tips, chaps - but I'm already married. I'm just not married to a Thai.

Congratulations -- does she know as much or as little about Thailand as you do?

About the same, I'd say.

Well that's fine -- some of the most interesting things I've earned in Thailand have come from Thai persons who do not speak English and had pretty much before never even met a Farang or be able to have a conversation with one. But I guess things like that would tend to occur a ways away from Bangkok than otherwise.

Not necessarily. You can get pretty far off the beaten track here in Bangkok if you make the effort. Some of the most illuminating conversations and experiences I've had in Thailand have been right here in the city, with people who have little contact with the farang world.

[JLCrab]

I lived for 6 months in Khlong San district on the west side of the Chao Pray before the Skytrain crossed the river and that was certainly off the beaten track. However I would still say such occurrences are more common in the wilds of Isaan than anywhere in Bangkok.

[SoiBiker]

But Bangkok is as much part of Thailand as Isaan. You could know everything there is to know about village life, but that's still only part of the picture.

[JLCrab]

But Bangkok is as much part of Thailand as Isaan. You could know everything there is to know about village life, but that's still only part of the picture.

Like I said I lived in Bangkok for 6 months -- and was happy to then not live in Bangkok.

I am certainly not one of those persons in the Thai Language Forum who is fluent in spoken and written Thai. But I am just so accustomed to speaking Thai with persons who do not speak English that I am almost started when a Thai person starts to speak with me in English.

[jspill]

I'm about 200 girls in, I think I know more now after banging that cross section than I would have if I'd married one.

[JLCrab]

I'm about 200 girls in, I think I know more now after banging that cross section than I would have if I'd married one.

So you haven't lost count. Good 'un. I guess that way you learn more than if you screwed the same girl 200 times but then I guess that all depends on the girl or how much you can learn from the 200 others on a short-time basis.

[robblok]

But you can talk to them without sleeping with them, you know.

Sure but I think guys who have Thai g/fs or who are married with them are far deeper involved and have far more contact with Thais and their ways then those who don't. The relation would be far more intimate and you would meet friends and family of Thais far more as those who have an wife / gf from their home country.

For sure there are certain aspects that you'll get more insight into with a Thai partner - thankfully some of you are good enough to share some of those insights on here so the rest of us can get an idea. But is it really fair to say that we can know nothing about Thailand unless we tie the knot with a Thai?

Nope of course not, but I think people who are married or in serious relationships with Thais get immersed far deeper into Thai culture. But even then you only learn about the kind of people your wife / gf hangs out with. So you still don't know it all, anyway when you live here longer you learn about Thais automatically but not as fast or as much as those who have more contact with Thais through their partner.

[JLCrab]

I'm about 200 girls in, I think I know more now after banging that cross section than I would have if I'd married one.

So you haven't lost count. Good 'un. I guess that way you learn more than if you screwed the same girl 200 times but then I guess that all depends on the girl or how much you can learn from the 200 others on a short-time basis.

No, I'm happy to concede that you can learn from quantity.

Well quantity is fine but IMHO there are some things you can learn in an intimate relationship that are nurtured over time and do not occur on short-term relationships -- and I don't mean marriage type relationship excursively.

[SoiBiker]

I think it's clear that some people just like to belittle and insult others, and this is just one more way to do so.

Apart from that, some interesting replies. Clearly there are some things those with Thai wives will learn more about, but we all lead different lives and have different experiences here. None of us alone will get the full picture, which is why it's good for us all to keep an open mind and learn from each other's experiences.

[MaeJoMTB]

I think it's clear that some people just like to belittle and insult others, .........

Here's one

Dream on, old man.

and another

Put the ruler away. We don't need to measure them.

Are you seriously claiming these posts (aimed at me) were't attempts at belittling or insulting me?

[seedy]

one Troll / Flaming post removed.

Please keep it civil

[jerojero]

Never, never marry a Thai. Love them, sleep , anything but marriage is a legal contract which in farang land means 50% of your property, wealth, house and pension. Most thai farang unions end . love them, love them them move on. Do not as you will regtet it.

50% applies only to assets acquired after date of marriage. And applies to marriages with non-Thai spouses. And applies in dozens of countries other than Thailand. Why the dire warning only about Thai? Most Thai farang unions end? Maybe, but so do half of farang farang marriages end in divorce.

[i claudius]

Never, never marry a Thai. Love them, sleep , anything but marriage is a legal contract which in farang land means 50% of your property, wealth, house and pension. Most thai farang unions end . love them, love them them move on. Do not as you will regtet it.

Honestly some posters post such rubbish ,I have been married for 24 years ,all my friends here have been married for donkeys years,they have ordinary marriages,some have kids ,mine is now 22, ok if you marry the first bar girl you meet when you come for a holiday,a big gamble ,the same as marrying a prostitute that you sleep with in your home country,but the people I know mostly met their wives after living or working here for years,so got past the bar girl stage, and believe me I am not against bar girls ,when I first came here I met lots of nice ones ,I just didn't marry them,but good for anyone who did and is happy

[villagefarang]

It is my personal opinion that you are much better off learning about Thailand before you get married, not after. Granted you may not have the time to invest if you are old when you get here but it has paid benefits in my case. I lived here for twenty years before I got married so I had a life of my own, with friends and experiences to share with my wife when we got married. Much of what I learned and the contacts I made along the way would have been nearly impossible if I had been tied down in a longterm relationship or had a family. So I vote, no, you don’t need to be married to a Thai to have a deep understanding of Thailand. It helps if you speak Thai though.

[JAFO]

@ OP; I say No you do not have to be married to a Thai.

I am with VillageFarang, I came here to work for a US company. I spent countless holidays and weekends traveling around by myself, learning about places to go and met many people along the way. The Thai folks I worked with were very open about suggesting places to go and of course I had a driver so he would take me anywhere I wanted. I didn't even entertain having a GF or spouse. With that said fast forward a few years I am now happily married to a wonderful Thai woman and have been for nearly 4 years. With her I am learning the ropes so to speak and the inner workings of it all. She has showed me things that being alone here I would have never known about. Same trade off was shared when we came back to the states to live for awhile while I was working. I showed her the ropes and how things work in the states. Great experience for both of us.

I personally think it would all boil down to the individuals make up. Everybody is different on their adventurous comfort level or to some extent what they even want to learn. Of course another element is the gal you are with. I think its better you come here and take off the rose colored glasses by yourself then be steered by some young gal you may have met in a bar or internet dating. As the OP stated many have been here for some time and are still totally dependent on their gal to do everything for them short of walking to a 7/11 for some Leo or tag along behind them at a market. Learning Thai will help a bunch. That's the part I need to personally get better at. With my wife speaking very good English we always default to that around the house and a lot of what I had been learning I have forgotten.

[elgordo38]

Thanks for the tips, chaps - but I'm already married. I'm just not married to a Thai.

I am not either just living with one for 4 years. Great girl. I am to old to marry her but she will get enough to step up a couple rungs on life's ladder. For the sake of disclosure I have had 3 "Western" wives. They could not hold a candle to this girl. Its just not the sex she is such a bubbly person even when I am sad which is more often as I age she drags me right out of it. All the farangs in my condo keep asking her "Is he treating you OK" if she said no she would have multiple offers. She keeps the wolves at bay.

[roo860]

Never, never marry a Thai. Love them, sleep , anything but marriage is a legal contract which in farang land means 50% of your property, wealth, house and pension. Most thai farang unions end . love them, love them them move on. Do not as you will regtet it.

What if you live in Thailand with them? I take it its 50-50 whatever you purchase after marriage?

[Crazy chef 1]

You don't need to be married to a Thai or even live here to know all about Thailand...just spent half of your day with Thaivisa....