American Travellers

[tigerbeer]

just for fun. picked off some other forum.

Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:

I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get

messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over

all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and

then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to

explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she

interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown

is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one,

I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."

Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was

wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view

room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the

middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and

Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from

Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I

pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas.

When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was

a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her

flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried

to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not

understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went

very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on

your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do

you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put

a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any

connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into

it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for

Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on

her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane

to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was

told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on

them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those

computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter

plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in

order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I

reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many

times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure

enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've

been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American

Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to

Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the

agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do

you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back

with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country

and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't

be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a

map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo,

do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"

[suegha]

I'd love for these to be true, very funny!

[sbk]

I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get

messed up by being near the window.

Actually, I don't like window seats because falling asleep against the window messes up my hair

Your stories remind me of the English guy I met who thought California was a city.

[suegha]

I once met a guy who thought Ireland was the same size as the Isle of Man! He was from the Isle of Man!

[Patsycat]

I've been asked numerous times if I speak Swedish. And my Swiss sister in law thought Scotland was just beside London....

[IMA_FARANG]

I've been asked numerous times if I speak Swedish. And my Swiss sister in law thought Scotland was just beside London....

I'm an American and I agree that certain Americans shouldn't be allowed to travel.

I was once in Copenhagen where a woman with an American mid-western accent was loudly asking the Danish waiter for some real American butter because she wasn't sure if Danish butter woild be good enough.

But to be fair I have also been unable to explain to a British man where Thailand was. He had heard that Thailand had a lot of those "little Chinese girls', and he was sure that was why I was going to Thailand. I tried to explain that Thailand was not part of China. He had no concept of where Southeast Asia was. He didn't know where Thailand or Malaysia was. I tried Singapore and Burma, thinking he might know that they were once part of the British Empire, but it didn't seem to click.

And my friends from South American get angry when someone refers to a person from the U.S.A. as an American. They refer to people from the U.S. as North Americans or "Norte Americanos". They like to say that being from South America they are as much "Americans" as someone from the U.S.A.

[guardian]

Well, about 2 years back, 2 of my friends went to visit the JCK Jewelry Show in Las Vegas. One from Bangkok and the other from Hong Kong.

There are basically 2 registration counters in any such trade fair, one for the locals and the other for overseas visitors. They both being overseas visitiors, went to the appropriate counter. Being the biggest show in the US and attracting many overseas visitors, it is but obvious that the persons handling the overseas visitors should have basic information atleast of the major cities.

The two of them handed over their registration to the same person. Imagine their surprise when this person asked one of his other co-staffs "Hey, where's Hong Kong?" and neither of the other staffs knew it. Finally when they received their registration badges, one had "Bangkok - Thailand" and the other...................................

"Hong Kong - Thailand" .

Edited October 16, 2006 by guardian