Relationship in Crisis Zone

[louse1953]

I'm baffled. It seems from the posts I've read here that a lot of western men have children with Thai women they're not married to. If they're good enough to have a child with, are they not good enough to marry? I'm 61 and not interested in either a wife or a child. Just curious.

Marriage is just piece of paper to keep the religious business ticking over.However there is the moral obligation to somebody you have had child with.

[Alainpm]

Sounds like you need to explain to the wife how it should be where she makes you happy while you reciprocate and make her happy in numerous ways ...or at least attempt to explain to her so you can at least say you tried.

If she can not make you happy and has no valid reason for not doing so, then go make yourself happy...and do not feel guilty about it.

** That is if you just have to have sex and your wife is not providing**

This is Thailand where you can do what you want anyhow while she will wake up to who is really in control...whether you up and walk away suddenly or fade away over time.

Either way it always amazes me how so many Thai women have a good thing on the go with a good man and they go and screw it up in any number of ways by being themselves with all their Thai female idiosyncrasies ( they have a lot of idiosyncrasies....as in a lot ) while being self centered and self absorbed in their own agenda without seriously contemplating the ramifications of their female thinking and female conduct....resulting in many men just leaving abruptly or just fading away with intent after growing fed up with the women and realizing the whole relationship is all about the woman and her needs and her agenda.

And then, they have no idea at all, supposedly, as to why the man up and left her and will always blame the man while they believe themselves to be the ultimate little angel that can do no wrong and did no wrong

No matter what you do anyhow...you are still the bad man as all men are considered bad in some ways in their minds so you are already guilty before proven innocent and nothing while change her mind.....so please yourself whether you decide to stay in an uncomfortable environment or decide to go.

Cheers

Bright analysis... Thumb uppp. Exactly what I feel and think. Applies to cambodian women too..

[crankshaft]

Be the Alpha Male that she wants you to be and dump that biatch...

[MaeJoMTB]

I take it that your GF is Thai.

First, you would not be the only man who finds himself in a marriage after a few years with very little sex available.

Small correction ........ OP says gf not wife.

And legally in Thailand, not his wife = not his child = no ongoing responsibility to either of them in any way.

But there is the moral factor,something you clearly know nothing about.

Modern western morals were designed to repress and enslave beta males ...... something you clearly know all about.

Edited January 13, 2016 by MaeJoMTB

[jacksam]

If she won't have sex with you whenever you want it ....... she's the bad person.

For a start, stop giving her money.

Not to mention, unless you have a court order, the kid isn't considered yours.

So stop giving money for the kid.

Take your stuff and your wallet and move out.

Nobody in Thailand will think you are a bad person for leaving a gf that refuses to have sex with you.

That's the only reason most of us have a gf.

What would I do?

I'd already be gone, I wouldn't even bother to see the kid, not that I would have any right to do so.

Sounds harsh but afraid he is correct. I run into many happy little farang who talk about their loving thai wife.

It's a myth. Yes I have the tgf , live in of 3 years.

She takes care of me and of course sex on demand. Not because of love but because I take care of her. We travel a LOT and I give her a salary.

Move out OP and find a new one

[laislica]

Hello OP!

Hell Oh/

Oops, no OP?

Maybe sobered up and is wishing he never made the OP?

Edited January 13, 2016 by laislica

[laislica]

[ttthailand]

She is calling you a pussy. Maybe you are a sensitive guy and cry or get sad and quiet. Thai ladies need a firm hand and a guy with confidence to take charge. Some however don't know what they want and everything is just me me me which is a no win no matter what kind of guy you are. The respect is gone and the chance of getting it back is Little to zero. Best to move on and see what happens. If she truly loves you she will come running, if no love she will only ask for money and play the guilt thing on you.

She may also be screwing around with another guy thus don't need your attention.... Time to walk .....

One thing to always remember with these girls, Always be willing to walk or you will loose control. You are the man be the man !

[Baerboxer]

Research has discovered a food that puts women off sex.

It's called .......................... wedding cake !!

Seriously, someone once posted that if you put a coin in a jar for every time you have sex for the first 3 years of marriage and thereafter took a coin out of the jars every time, that you'd never empty the jars!

Thai women have a Thai mentality and culture as well as being women. The OP is male and farang. Never going to be smooth.

Married mature Thai women, with kids want sex when they fancy - and expect you to perform when required. Not the other way around. Many Thai friends grumble just the same so it's not only a farang thing.

[Stevemercer]

Research has discovered a food that puts women off sex.

It's called .......................... wedding cake !!

Seriously, someone once posted that if you put a coin in a jar for every time you have sex for the first 3 years of marriage and thereafter took a coin out of the jars every time, that you'd never empty the jars!

Thai women have a Thai mentality and culture as well as being women. The OP is male and farang. Never going to be smooth.

Married mature Thai women, with kids want sex when they fancy - and expect you to perform when required. Not the other way around. Many Thai friends grumble just the same so it's not only a farang thing.

Good comment. And if you are not interested in sex when they fancy, they will accuse you of having a gik or not loving them anymore. A gift of gold or money is the only way to maintain the peace!

[nontabury]

If she won't have sex with you whenever you want it ....... she's the bad person.

For a start, stop giving her money.

Not to mention, unless you have a court order, the kid isn't considered yours.

So stop giving money for the kid.

Take your stuff and your wallet and move out.

Nobody in Thailand will think you are a bad person for leaving a gf that refuses to have sex with you.

That's the only reason most of us have a gf.

What would I do?

I'd already be gone, I wouldn't even bother to see the kid, not that I would have any right to do so.

Sounds harsh but afraid he is correct. I run into many happy little farang who talk about their loving thai wife.

It's a myth. Yes I have the tgf , live in of 3 years.

She takes care of me and of course sex on demand. Not because of love but because I take care of her. We travel a LOT and I give her a salary.

Move out OP and find a new one

You give her a salary. Is she you'r girlfriend or you'r employee?

[nontabury]

If she won't have sex with you whenever you want it ....... she's the bad person.

For a start, stop giving her money.

Not to mention, unless you have a court order, the kid isn't considered yours.

So stop giving money for the kid.

Take your stuff and your wallet and move out.

Nobody in Thailand will think you are a bad person for leaving a gf that refuses to have sex with you.

That's the only reason most of us have a gf.

What would I do?

I'd already be gone, I wouldn't even bother to see the kid, not that I would have any right to do so.

While agreeing with most of your post, I cannot agree regarding the child. A marriage certificate does not make you a father,it's how you take responsibility for what you created. The father or the mother are not important, who is important is the Child.

[nontabury]

If she won't have sex with you whenever you want it ....... she's the bad person.

For a start, stop giving her money.

Not to mention, unless you have a court order, the kid isn't considered yours.

So stop giving money for the kid.

Take your stuff and your wallet and move out.

Nobody in Thailand will think you are a bad person for leaving a gf that refuses to have sex with you.

That's the only reason most of us have a gf.

What would I do?

I'd already be gone, I wouldn't even bother to see the kid, not that I would have any right to do so.

Sounds harsh but afraid he is correct. I run into many happy little farang who talk about their loving thai wife.

It's a myth. Yes I have the tgf , live in of 3 years.

She takes care of me and of course sex on demand. Not because of love but because I take care of her. We travel a LOT and I give her a salary.

Move out OP and find a new one

You give her a salary. Is she your girlfriend or your employee?

[jacksam]

If she won't have sex with you whenever you want it ....... she's the bad person.

For a start, stop giving her money.

Not to mention, unless you have a court order, the kid isn't considered yours.

So stop giving money for the kid.

Take your stuff and your wallet and move out.

Nobody in Thailand will think you are a bad person for leaving a gf that refuses to have sex with you.

That's the only reason most of us have a gf.

What would I do?

I'd already be gone, I wouldn't even bother to see the kid, not that I would have any right to do so.

Sounds harsh but afraid he is correct. I run into many happy little farang who talk about their loving thai wife.

It's a myth. Yes I have the tgf , live in of 3 years.

She takes care of me and of course sex on demand. Not because of love but because I take care of her. We travel a LOT and I give her a salary.

Move out OP and find a new one

You give her a salary. Is she you'r girlfriend or you'r employee?

I get that sort of rubbish all the time. I'm 60 retired and have plenty. I don't want any partner of mine working. Main reason she could not travel with me. We fly somewhere every other week. It would be exactly same as if I had a farang partner. How else can she holiday with me 24/7 and therefore not work and I do not provide for her. The term salary is what she uses.

[jacksam]

If she won't have sex with you whenever you want it ....... she's the bad person.

For a start, stop giving her money.

Not to mention, unless you have a court order, the kid isn't considered yours.

So stop giving money for the kid.

Take your stuff and your wallet and move out.

Nobody in Thailand will think you are a bad person for leaving a gf that refuses to have sex with you.

That's the only reason most of us have a gf.

What would I do?

I'd already be gone, I wouldn't even bother to see the kid, not that I would have any right to do so.

Sounds harsh but afraid he is correct. I run into many happy little farang who talk about their loving thai wife.

It's a myth. Yes I have the tgf , live in of 3 years.

She takes care of me and of course sex on demand. Not because of love but because I take care of her. We travel a LOT and I give her a salary.

Move out OP and find a new one

You give her a salary. Is she you'r girlfriend or you'r employee?

I get that sort of rubbish all the time. I'm 60 retired and have plenty. I don't want any partner of mine working. Main reason she could not travel with me. We fly somewhere every other week. It would be exactly same as if I had a farang partner. How else can she holiday with me 24/7 and therefore not work and I do not provide for her. The term salary is what she uses.

[JHolmesJr]

Research has discovered a food that puts women off sex.

Thai women have a Thai mentality and culture as well as being women. The OP is male and farang. Never going to be smooth.

Married mature Thai women, with kids want sex when they fancy - and expect you to perform when required. Not the other way around. Many Thai friends grumble just the same so it's not only a farang thing.

Research has discovered a new environment that can cure mature thai women of lackadaisical feelings towards sex.

It's called Bamboo Bar and feelings surface mostly towards the end of the month when bills become due.

[MaeJoMTB]

I get that sort of rubbish all the time. I'm 60 retired and have plenty. I don't want any partner of mine working. Main reason she could not travel with me. We fly somewhere every other week. It would be exactly same as if I had a farang partner. How else can she holiday with me 24/7 and therefore not work and I do not provide for her. The term salary is what she uses.

I'm also 60 and retired,

I give mine money 'cos she's a whore ........ No need to beat around the bush.

Edited January 13, 2016 by MaeJoMTB

[MaeJoMTB]

I hope I can make it work, but if not, I will only be 43 when my kid is 18, so if we break up then I will still be young enough to find someone else, or just enjoy myself.

So you're 29 and she's 31 ......... and no sex .......

Good god, we were all assuming you were a 60+ fat baldy, and she was 40+ ...........

Let me tell you, you're the only one in that relationship not having sex.

30 year old Thai women bang like hell.

My last Thai gf in her early 30s wanted to do it 4 or 5 times a day.

My Thai wife insisted on twice a day for the first 3 years ....... now we're down to 3-4x a week cos I'm too old (60+).

Every other Thai girl I 'dated' was banged on every date ......... or that was the last time I saw her.

10 times a year ...... are you sure she isn't an English woman ....... sure sounds like my English wife.

Although, they usually expect to be paid, I guess yours might have stopped having sex with you when she gave up waiting for you to pay.

You must be the only 29 year old man in Thailand not getting shagged every night ........ 555!

Edited January 13, 2016 by MaeJoMTB

[albyom]

How is possible to be so little responsible to make a child in this <deleted> up world and country, I really cannot understand

Still you did not undestand that for thai women marriage is to find that special one person to annoy the rest of their life????

[mmh8]

 

the whole alpha thing is overrated. simple iwth examples really, practise alpha posturing at random times, e.g. take wife and hcilds to local shopping mall and start poosturing in alpha ways. start making advances on other women in front of wife so she can see your alpha ways.

Off topic,

Alpha males don't take their wife shopping.

 

wat do you mean alphas don't take wives shopping, how else does one go about displaying ones trophy wife?

a little posturing etc

[FruitPudding]

My question is which never gets answered i wonder why. Where did you meet her ? and Did you ever bother to learn to speak Thai? If you answered the bar for the first question and no to the second. You deserve what you got. The majority not the minority of foreigners do this as their bank accounts sink to zero. Can you honestly answer these two questions? I doubt it.

I met her in Phuket where she worked. and no, she was not working as a prostitute. I assume that is what you mean when you say working in a bar.

I begun learning Thai after meeting her.

Edited January 15, 2016 by FruitPudding

[FruitPudding]

Anyway thanks for all responses.

So the main suggestions from you guys were

break up

get a mia noi

use massage parlours

Thanks anyway, but I was hoping for advice on fixing things. The above 3 options are not really suitable and i would prefer not to go down those roads. Though, if she takes it to extremes I may have to consider one of them rather than total celibacy.

Edited January 15, 2016 by FruitPudding

[Briggsy]

Employ a private investigator and find out what your wife is really up to.

[blackcab]

Anyway thanks for all responses.

So the main suggestions from you guys were

break up

get a mia noi

use massage parlours

Thanks anyway, but I was hoping for advice on fixing things. The above 3 options are not really suitable and i would prefer not to go down those roads. Though, if she takes it to extremes I may have to consider one of them rather than total celibacy.

Not everything can be fixed. At some point you will realise this. The more practical advice you received was probably from guys that have already established this the hard way.

[Stevemercer]

There is no going back to what you had before. She has lost respect for you. Once respect is gone you can never get it back. If you want to stay with her, all you can do is work on respect and happiness with your daughter. It will be hard because her Mum (whether conciously or subconsiously) will always be undermining you.

[Sheryl]

The relationship does not sound viable to me. You need to accept that and focus on your child.

You do not mention whether you have formal parental rights. Getting those should be your #1 priority, without that she can walk off with your child at any time and you have no recourse

See http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/381917-how-to-gain-parental-rights-as-a-father/

I would take care of that first before rocking the boat in terms of the relationship. And think through what sort of arrangement is best under the circumstances.