The Taser Test

[Star Dust]

It's been a while since I've contributed something to the thai visa community.

So...Hi, everyone.

I've done something stupid again and thought to share it with you.

A couple of weeks ago, I had to decide which gift I was to buy for me and my wife’s wedding anniversary.

And since bag snatching has become a common option as a second income in Thailand, and my wife kept reporting to me of such crimes in and around Udon Thani as well, I decided to buy her a Pocket Taser.
This Tasers cause no long term damages to the human body if used correctly, and would buy my wife enough time to get to safety, in the case that she would ever come in a situation like that. Right…???

At the time I was still in Vienna, and right opposite of the apartment complex where I lived, was a Pistol &Pawn Shop which had such gadgets. After explaining the shop owner the purpose I needed it for, he recommended a German made 100.000 Volt Pocket Electric Taser.

AWESOME. COOL. Best idea “Ever”!! I’m “The Man”, I thought to myself.

Once back home in Udon Thani, 3 days prior to our anniversary, I was home alone. So I used the occasion to get familiar with the Taser, and its proper use, before I handed it over to my wife. Eventually she is going to defend herself against criminals, so I had to make sure that the Taser kept up to its purpose, right?
In no time I’ve put in the two AAA batteries that came with the device, and hit the button.

And……….NOTHING.

I was totally disappointed. Quickly after that I discovered that there was a blueish bow of lighting at the front end of the device, whenever I held it close to any metallic surface.

AWESOME !!!

Sadly my wife is still waiting for an explanation to why there are two black stains at the front of our Microwave.

OK. So there I was, home alone, my son at school, my wife off visiting her mom. It couldn’t be possibly that painful. It’s just two small AAA batteries, I thought to myself. Right?

I made myself comfortable in my armchair with the Taser and its Instruction Manual, wearing nothing but boxer-shorts and a “Same Same but Different” shirt, with Popeye (…our pet cat, which has just one eye, and no tail) sitting on my lap, purring away. What a loyal little soul he is.

When I was reading through the Instruction Manual, I thought to myself, that I had to definitely test the device on a target made of real flesh and blood.
Yes. And I have to admit that I thought about to taser Popeye there for a fraction of a second, but common sense quickly kicked in, so I rather decided not to. He is such a lovely cat, you know.
If my wife really ever had to use it, testing the Taser was obligatory.

The Instruction Manual suggested that a hit with the Taser for one second causes the opponent to suffer severe disorientation; a hit for two seconds would cause muscle cramps and loss of control over the

body; and three seconds would make the opponent end up on the floor, behaving like a stranded whale. And that everything more than three seconds would be a waste of battery.

AWESOME !!!

At all that time I was eyeballing the Taser constantly, which is about 12 cm long, and about 3 cm in diameter, with ONLY two AAA batteries. Actually a cute little gadget. I couldn’t believe it myself.

What happened next is very difficult to describe. I’ll try my best.

I sat up right in the armchair, with Popeye on my lap looking at me with his head slightly bent to one side like he was trying to tell me: ”Don’t do it, you idiot”!

I thought to Taser myself for one second would be enough of a test and would not cause too much pain. So I decided to Taser myself. I held the device with its front end to my upper leg, just above the knee, and hit the button.

HOLY MOTHER OF WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRUCTION………..WHAT THE…….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can assure you that “THE HULK” himself came through the backdoor, lifted me up and out of my armchair, and violently threw me on the flow, making me bounce violently around like a fish out of the water, over and over again. I remember ending up in the fetus position, covered in sweat, with tears in my eyes, smoking nipples, and my testicles having moved inwards my body leaving behind an empty sack.

Popeye was hanging on to the curtains making sounds I never heard before, probably in an attempt to avoid getting squashed by my body bouncing around the room violently.

You have to keep in mind: That if you EVER feel the urge to “Taser” yourself, that there is NO SUCH THING as a one second hit, if you taser yourself. Because your muscles are like frozen and through that bouncing around your thump is never going to let go of that button, until the Taser is leaving your hand with brute force caused by the violent bouncing around. That were way more than 3 seconds before that Taser was thrown out of my hand.

About a minute later (…I can’t really recall the amount of time that has passed, because at that moment time was just relative to me), I summoned myself (…or what was left of it), taking a look around at my environment.

Popeye was still hanging on the curtains. The armchair was upside down about two meters away of its original position. My triceps, upper right leg, and nipples were numb, I couldn’t feel my face, and my lower lip weighing about 60 kg.

I shat myself, but wasn’t aware of it at that moment because I couldn’t smell anything. There was smoke coming off the top of my head and nipples. My balls remained on the inside of my body for another couple of hours before returning to their proper place.

My wife can’t stop laughing about this incident, but loves her anniversary gift. Popeye still refuses to sit on my lap.

My wife uses to point the Taser at me, whenever she feels like threatening me.

[Blackheart]

Funny as he'll.

On a serious note I taught self defence, for the safety of your wife teach her situational awareness, avoidance is the best defence.

If not possible simply hand over the bag

[stoneyboy]

True or not an enjoyable read.

You could write books.

[TheCruncher]

OP, next time give some credit to the real author, when you nick a story from the internet.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/follies/taser.asp

[Blackheart]

OP, next time give some credit to the real author, when you nick a story from the internet.

http://www.snopes.com/humor/follies/taser.asp

Great investigative work, ?

[CharlieH]

Dont care where it came from, thanks for sharing, hysterical!

[Ichabod]

Complete fantasy. Genuine Tasers furnish 50,000 volts vs. 1.5 for AAA batteries. If you could apply the current from a AAA battery to your tongue you might just feel a tingle.

[canman]

Complete fantasy. Genuine Tasers furnish 50,000 volts vs. 1.5 for AAA batteries. If you could apply the current from a AAA battery to your tongue you might just feel a tingle.

So where does the 50,000 volts come from in a genuine taser? Hint- "a 50,000 volt battery is not the correct answer"

[Ichabod]

Complete fantasy. Genuine Tasers furnish 50,000 volts vs. 1.5 for AAA batteries. If you could apply the current from a AAA battery to your tongue you might just feel a tingle.

So where does the 50,000 volts come from in a genuine taser? Hint- "a 50,000 volt battery is not the correct answer"

A transformer to convert the output of 8 AA batteries to high voltage low amperage? Are there cheap transformers efficient enough to do the same for 2 AAA batteries? I'm doubting it.

[canman]

Complete fantasy. Genuine Tasers furnish 50,000 volts vs. 1.5 for AAA batteries. If you could apply the current from a AAA battery to your tongue you might just feel a tingle.

So where does the 50,000 volts come from in a genuine taser? Hint- "a 50,000 volt battery is not the correct answer"

A transformer to convert the output of 8 AA batteries to high voltage low amperage? Are there cheap transformers efficient enough to do the same for 2 AAA batteries? I'm doubting it.

You're close. A transformer will only work with a changing voltage. AAA cells supply DC or a steady voltage. You could use the 2 AAA cells in series to give 3v to drive an oscillator circuit of some sort most likely feeding a high frequencey swithching transformer which would then charge a capacitor which on discharge would feed another transformer. You could easily achieve 50K in a small package with this type of cct.

[JHolmesJr]

Someone's been watching Jackass.

[Ichabod]

Complete fantasy. Genuine Tasers furnish 50,000 volts vs. 1.5 for AAA batteries. If you could apply the current from a AAA battery to your tongue you might just feel a tingle.

So where does the 50,000 volts come from in a genuine taser? Hint- "a 50,000 volt battery is not the correct answer"

A transformer to convert the output of 8 AA batteries to high voltage low amperage? Are there cheap transformers efficient enough to do the same for 2 AAA batteries? I'm doubting it.

You're close. A transformer will only work with a changing voltage. AAA cells supply DC or a steady voltage. You could use the 2 AAA cells in series to give 3v to drive an oscillator circuit of some sort most likely feeding a high frequencey swithching transformer which would then charge a capacitor which on discharge would feed another transformer. You could easily achieve 50K in a small package with this type of cct.

But since the input voltage would be only 3 V. compared to 12 V for the standard Taser, at the same 50k V. output the amperage would then be much lower, would it not? Would it be enough to have the desired effect on human neurons? If so, why aren't all such devices 2 AAA instead of 8 AA?

[canman]

Someone did a degree in electronic engineering. Much easier back then to make something similar using fly back transformers.

[canman]

So where does the 50,000 volts come from in a genuine taser? Hint- "a 50,000 volt battery is not the correct answer"

A transformer to convert the output of 8 AA batteries to high voltage low amperage? Are there cheap transformers efficient enough to do the same for 2 AAA batteries? I'm doubting it.

You're close. A transformer will only work with a changing voltage. AAA cells supply DC or a steady voltage. You could use the 2 AAA cells in series to give 3v to drive an oscillator circuit of some sort most likely feeding a high frequencey swithching transformer which would then charge a capacitor which on discharge would feed another transformer. You could easily achieve 50K in a small package with this type of cct.

But since the input voltage would be only 3 V. compared to 12 V for the standard Taser, at the same 50k V. output the amperage would then be much lower, would it not? Would it be enough to have the desired effect on human neurons? If so, why aren't all such devices 2 AAA instead of 8 AA?

It's the voltage, not the current which causes the muscles to contract. 30ma across the heart can kill you, the whole design philosophy behind a taser is high voltage low current. You design the cct to work with a given input voltage to achieve the desired output voltage, in general for a given cct increasing the input will increase the output to a point. Too much input V for the design and something will fail. The reason for using larger or more cells is to simplify the design and extend the working time before you exhaust the cells.

Edited January 18, 2016 by canman

[Tywais]

A transformer to convert the output of 8 AA batteries to high voltage low amperage? Are there cheap transformers efficient enough to do the same for 2 AAA batteries? I'm doubting it.

You're close. A transformer will only work with a changing voltage. AAA cells supply DC or a steady voltage. You could use the 2 AAA cells in series to give 3v to drive an oscillator circuit of some sort most likely feeding a high frequencey swithching transformer which would then charge a capacitor which on discharge would feed another transformer. You could easily achieve 50K in a small package with this type of cct.

It's called an inverter circuit and converts DC to high frequency AC. The higher the frequency the smaller the transformer required due to lower inductance thus small size. The oscillator drives a small transformer with small number of primary windings and a very large number of secondary windings to step the voltage up, the wire size is very small.

I built something similar in high school many years ago before tazors. Took a small relay coil that had many turns of very fine wire, a 9V battery and wires as contacts. Connecting the battery to the coil via contacts which charges the inductor then releasing the contact will cause a very high voltage across the contacts and the connecting wires.

I built one in a matchbox with the wires wrapped around the edges and when sitting on a table the contacts are closed. Someone picking it up on the edges where the wires are will open the contact creating a very high voltage across their fingers. Enough that the box usually went flying through the air and the victim with a stunned/surprised look on their face. In my build it is a inductive (reactive) kick from the inductor rather then oscillator/transformer technique. Very easy to build.

Anyway, the OP was a fun read.

[Tywais]

But since the input voltage would be only 3 V. compared to 12 V for the standard Taser, at the same 50k V. output the amperage would then be much lower, would it not? Would it be enough to have the desired effect on human neurons? If so, why aren't all such devices 2 AAA instead of 8 AA?

Because it takes quite a bit of current/power to drive the transformer from a small voltage. The step up voltage relationship is the ratio of the number of primary turns to secondary turns of wire. The output current is the inverse of this. Example, 9V in with 1:100 turns ratio would give 900 volts out but not quite as their are losses in the system. If the current on the primary is 1 amp the current on the 1:100 secondary will be .01 A (10mA).

[Ichabod]

You're close. A transformer will only work with a changing voltage. AAA cells supply DC or a steady voltage. You could use the 2 AAA cells in series to give 3v to drive an oscillator circuit of some sort most likely feeding a high frequencey swithching transformer which would then charge a capacitor which on discharge would feed another transformer. You could easily achieve 50K in a small package with this type of cct.

But since the input voltage would be only 3 V. compared to 12 V for the standard Taser, at the same 50k V. output the amperage would then be much lower, would it not? Would it be enough to have the desired effect on human neurons? If so, why aren't all such devices 2 AAA instead of 8 AA?

It's the voltage, not the current which causes the muscles to contract. 30ma across the heart can kill you, the whole design philosophy behind a taser is high voltage low current. You design the cct to work with a given input voltage to achieve the desired output voltage, in general for a given cct increasing the input will increase the output to a point. Too much input V for the design and something will fail. The reason for using larger or more cells is to simplify the design and extend the working time before you exhaust the cells.

If it's the voltage then why does a Van de Graaf generator not paralyse the user? Is it because it is DC, not AC?

[canman]

You're close. A transformer will only work with a changing voltage. AAA cells supply DC or a steady voltage. You could use the 2 AAA cells in series to give 3v to drive an oscillator circuit of some sort most likely feeding a high frequencey swithching transformer which would then charge a capacitor which on discharge would feed another transformer. You could easily achieve 50K in a small package with this type of cct.

But since the input voltage would be only 3 V. compared to 12 V for the standard Taser, at the same 50k V. output the amperage would then be much lower, would it not? Would it be enough to have the desired effect on human neurons? If so, why aren't all such devices 2 AAA instead of 8 AA?

It's the voltage, not the current which causes the muscles to contract. 30ma across the heart can kill you, the whole design philosophy behind a taser is high voltage low current. You design the cct to work with a given input voltage to achieve the desired output voltage, in general for a given cct increasing the input will increase the output to a point. Too much input V for the design and something will fail. The reason for using larger or more cells is to simplify the design and extend the working time before you exhaust the cells.

If it's the voltage then why does a Van de Graaf generator not paralyse the user? Is it because it is DC, not AC?

That's a good point. You forced me to use google, LOL. I was incorrect in stating that it was the voltage which causes the muscles to contract, it is the low current induced by the high voltage which does the work.

So the answer to your question would seem to be because the current is very low and it is a static charge meaning no elctrons moving thus very low if any current. There is also something called the skin effect which may come into play here.

[FritsSikkink]

It's been a while since I've contributed something to the thai visa community.

So...Hi, everyone.

I've done something stupid again and thought to share it with you.

A couple of weeks ago, I had to decide which gift I was to buy for me and my wife’s wedding anniversary.

And since bag snatching has become a common option as a second income in Thailand, and my wife kept reporting to me of such crimes in and around Udon Thani as well, I decided to buy her a Pocket Taser.

This Tasers cause no long term damages to the human body if used correctly, and would buy my wife enough time to get to safety, in the case that she would ever come in a situation like that. Right…???

At the time I was still in Vienna, and right opposite of the apartment complex where I lived, was a Pistol &Pawn Shop which had such gadgets. After explaining the shop owner the purpose I needed it for, he recommended a German made 100.000 Volt Pocket Electric Taser.

AWESOME. COOL. Best idea “Ever”!! I’m “The Man”, I thought to myself.

Once back home in Udon Thani, 3 days prior to our anniversary, I was home alone. So I used the occasion to get familiar with the Taser, and its proper use, before I handed it over to my wife. Eventually she is going to defend herself against criminals, so I had to make sure that the Taser kept up to its purpose, right?

In no time I’ve put in the two AAA batteries that came with the device, and hit the button.

And……….NOTHING.

I was totally disappointed. Quickly after that I discovered that there was a blueish bow of lighting at the front end of the device, whenever I held it close to any metallic surface.

AWESOME !!!

Sadly my wife is still waiting for an explanation to why there are two black stains at the front of our Microwave.

OK. So there I was, home alone, my son at school, my wife off visiting her mom. It couldn’t be possibly that painful. It’s just two small AAA batteries, I thought to myself. Right?

I made myself comfortable in my armchair with the Taser and its Instruction Manual, wearing nothing but boxer-shorts and a “Same Same but Different” shirt, with Popeye (…our pet cat, which has just one eye, and no tail) sitting on my lap, purring away. What a loyal little soul he is.

When I was reading through the Instruction Manual, I thought to myself, that I had to definitely test the device on a target made of real flesh and blood.

Yes. And I have to admit that I thought about to taser Popeye there for a fraction of a second, but common sense quickly kicked in, so I rather decided not to. He is such a lovely cat, you know.

If my wife really ever had to use it, testing the Taser was obligatory.

The Instruction Manual suggested that a hit with the Taser for one second causes the opponent to suffer severe disorientation; a hit for two seconds would cause muscle cramps and loss of control over the

body; and three seconds would make the opponent end up on the floor, behaving like a stranded whale. And that everything more than three seconds would be a waste of battery.

AWESOME !!!

At all that time I was eyeballing the Taser constantly, which is about 12 cm long, and about 3 cm in diameter, with ONLY two AAA batteries. Actually a cute little gadget. I couldn’t believe it myself.

What happened next is very difficult to describe. I’ll try my best.

I sat up right in the armchair, with Popeye on my lap looking at me with his head slightly bent to one side like he was trying to tell me: ”Don’t do it, you idiot”!

I thought to Taser myself for one second would be enough of a test and would not cause too much pain. So I decided to Taser myself. I held the device with its front end to my upper leg, just above the knee, and hit the button.

HOLY MOTHER OF WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRUCTION………..WHAT THE…….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can assure you that “THE HULK” himself came through the backdoor, lifted me up and out of my armchair, and violently threw me on the flow, making me bounce violently around like a fish out of the water, over and over again. I remember ending up in the fetus position, covered in sweat, with tears in my eyes, smoking nipples, and my testicles having moved inwards my body leaving behind an empty sack.

Popeye was hanging on to the curtains making sounds I never heard before, probably in an attempt to avoid getting squashed by my body bouncing around the room violently.

You have to keep in mind: That if you EVER feel the urge to “Taser” yourself, that there is NO SUCH THING as a one second hit, if you taser yourself. Because your muscles are like frozen and through that bouncing around your thump is never going to let go of that button, until the Taser is leaving your hand with brute force caused by the violent bouncing around. That were way more than 3 seconds before that Taser was thrown out of my hand.

About a minute later (…I can’t really recall the amount of time that has passed, because at that moment time was just relative to me), I summoned myself (…or what was left of it), taking a look around at my environment.

Popeye was still hanging on the curtains. The armchair was upside down about two meters away of its original position. My triceps, upper right leg, and nipples were numb, I couldn’t feel my face, and my lower lip weighing about 60 kg.

I shat myself, but wasn’t aware of it at that moment because I couldn’t smell anything. There was smoke coming off the top of my head and nipples. My balls remained on the inside of my body for another couple of hours before returning to their proper place.

My wife can’t stop laughing about this incident, but loves her anniversary gift. Popeye still refuses to sit on my lap.

My wife uses to point the Taser at me, whenever she feels like threatening me.

how stupid can you be. they are illegal btw

[Tywais]

So the answer to your question would seem to be because the current is very low and it is a static charge meaning no elctrons moving thus very low if any current. There is also something called the skin effect which may come into play here.

Skin effect only applies to metal surfaces and RF frequencies. Skin in this case refers to the penetration depth of the RF voltage into the metal surface.

I've designed several Tesla coils and the last one could generate 500kV at RF frequencies. Not recommended to come in contact with the streamers even though the current is low and some hobbyists do it. In This case the HV RF can be drawn to the fluids in the body such as blood in the vessels due to lower resistance of the fluid and the HV reducing the resistance of the skin itself. This can create internal RF burns that are very difficult to heal. High voltage has an air breakdown of around 1mm per 1kV so the 50kV taser can produce a 50mm (5cm) spark.

[keeniau96]

Hmmm, thought it was a capacitor becoming an incapacitator.

[giddyup]

Funny as he'll.

On a serious note I taught self defence, for the safety of your wife teach her situational awareness, avoidance is the best defence.

If not possible simply hand over the bag

Does the same advice apply if the attacker has rape in mind?