Smiling isn't against the law

[DogNo1]

Are you aware that in some Asian countries looking someone in the eye is considered impolite? Also, smiling is viewed with suspicion. An earnest, serious expression is most valued.

I do appreciate the gracious friendliness of the Thais but smiles are not always what they seem. Close observation usually makes it possible to detect insincerity. I hope that posters are not recommending that we go about constantly wearing fatuous smiles.

[Torrens54]

Not only the fading smile but not even a Thank You!

Used to be very impressed with the Check-out staff at both RIMPING and MAKRO. Always got a "Thai" Thank you at both places.

My wife has commented over the past week on the lack of any such courtesy at either RIMPING Airport or MAKRO Hangdong.

Both places, she (my wife who is Thai) was very polite to the staff but when they handed her the receipt at the end of the transaction there was... NOTHING!

JUST A SIGN OF THE TIMES EH?

[overherebc]

Read every post in this thread and haven't smiled yet.

[arminbkk]

I gave up the "give a smile first" approach after years of doing that, because it was of no use:

99 out of 100 times I got back an indifferent look, a dismal look, and even a "w-t-f are you looking at" look.

It does not matter whether it is outside in passing, walking through shopping aisles or at check-out counters.

And as the poster above, the "thank you" is almost a rarity at places like Big C, Tesco Lotus and some 7-11s.

I hardly ever see a Thai waitress/waiter smile when waiting on you.

I have really observed Thais and what I noticed is that they don't smile at strangers.

Now I do as Thais do.

And farangs, at first sight of you they usually have the "ugh, there's another one" expression.

[Gecko123]

I gave up the "give a smile first" approach after years of doing that, because it was of no use:

99 out of 100 times I got back an indifferent look, a dismal look, and even a "w-t-f are you looking at" look.

Really? Not sure where you live but out in the countryside, I find coaxing a smile out of Thais is easy.

[SoiBiker]

And farangs, at first sight of you they usually have the "ugh, there's another one" expression.

Not in my experience. Maybe its you?

[SoiBiker]

I gave up the "give a smile first" approach after years of doing that, because it was of no use:

99 out of 100 times I got back an indifferent look, a dismal look, and even a "w-t-f are you looking at" look.

Really? Not sure where you live but out in the countryside, I find coaxing a smile out of Thais is easy.

I find the same here in Bangkok.

[wow64]

You got a work permit for that smile?

It's called a Thai smile for a reason.

Stop taking Thai jobs.

[thaimlord]

If you're on a bicycle, I'll smile and say hello (race and nationality not important).

Will I smile at all random white guy's I don't know ...... definitely not ...... that's just crazy behaviour.

If we don't have some activity in common, I don't want to know you.

You don't have to stop and chat, or even say hello. But a smile as you pass by costs nothing, takes no time, and shows the world you're not a miserable old sod.

Not only does it cost nothing, take no time and show you are not a miserable old sod, but it reaps huge personal dividends here in Thailand. Seriously, huge.

I discovered "the power of the smile" quite early on. Living in a small village situation where (as best I know) I'm the only Farang for around 50 miles in either direction, I would smile, nod and often say just the word "hello" to almost anyone I met.

Everybody knows me now, and almost without exception they now smile first and say hello or smile and wave as I ride past on the bike. People go out of their way to try to converse. It may seem like a small thing, but it really isn't. Sometimes now, when my wife takes me to a new residence I haven't visited before, I often recognize people and they know me already too, and curiously ask her questions and communicate with me with familiarity instead of the more common Thai shyness in front of foreigners.

It has transformed my experience in Thailand. If you don't think or don't know whether it would work for you, just try it. Put a (geniune) smile on your face, and greet the Thai people in your area. Over time, you will see this come back to you in spades.

TL

[TEFLKrabi]

Maybe some farangs just have a different set of social skills. I agree that just a cursory nod to another faring in a shopping mall isn't too much to ask. We're all foreigners so it would be lovely just to see us acknowledge each other. Who knows, you might even make a new friend!!

[TheKnave]

I'm not here to integrate into Thai culture. I hope that's OK with y'all.

Perfectly OK. I don't notice you whining about Thai culture, either.

The ones that get under my skin are the ones constantly critisizing, and telling us how it SHOULD be, and making no effort to learn about Thailand, or Thai people.

[bazza40]

If you're on a bicycle, I'll smile and say hello (race and nationality not important).

Will I smile at all random white guy's I don't know ...... definitely not ...... that's just crazy behaviour.

If we don't have some activity in common, I don't want to know you.

I play golf, so problem solved. I've noticed if you smile at a Thai, they will smile back.

[gandalf12]

Like everywhere in the world the reaction you receive comes from the perception others have of you. I cant in the 30+ years I have lived here honestly say I have had any bad experiences with Thai's. Maybe I am an exception but it certainly isnt because I live in an area highly populated with foreigners. I have never seen more than 2 in the entire area.

[chickenslegs]

Just carry a pack of Lays whenever you go outside.

Edited January 21, 2016 by chickenslegs

[asdecas]

By Grabthar's Hammer!

[kamahele]

I'm not here to integrate into Thai culture. I hope that's OK with y'all.

I don't think anyone is promoting "integration" but just common courtesy.

[tonray]

This is so true. I was walking down the street in Bang Kapi and my phone flew out of its case and hit the sidewalk. A group of Thai ladies (some vendors and some street sweepers) were chilling for a few and immediately expected me to curse and flip out (as many do). I retrieved my phone, glanced in their direction and pretended to make a call to one of them with a laugh and a smile, they all smiled and laughed and now when I see that same crew (they work near my school) I always get a nice greeting and smile.

[johnhw]

Watched a pair of ladies practically shove their yard-long Look-At-Me-I'm-With-Nat.Geo Nikon lens up the nose of an elderly lady sitting on the pavement selling veggies at the Chiang Rai street market. She smiled at them, and they returned her smile stone-faced, like she had two heads, then glanced at each other and laughed.

[tonray]

Watched a pair of ladies practically shove their yard-long Look-At-Me-I'm-With-Nat.Geo Nikon lens up the nose of an elderly lady sitting on the pavement selling veggies at the Chiang Rai street market. She smiled at them, and they returned her smile stone-faced, like she had two heads, then glanced at each other and laughed.

A pair of ladies I think not !. I see far too many tourists acting that way and worse. I was asked by friends in the states why I don't post more pictures of things and people in my neighborhood. I explained that you don't nose around and take pictures of your neighbors...I am not a tourist...it takes a good 3 to 6 months to get your neighbors to become accustomed to you in their space, you don't go screwing it up by acting like a ninny fresh off the Lonely Planet bookshelf.

[keithathome]

The only problem with smiling as you pass is when you pass again after the bars are shut and they are still outside with a beer. They expect you to stop and have yet another beer with them. Thais are very friendly. I have no problems with that - except for my limited capacity for beer.

[stoneyboy]

I gave up the "give a smile first" approach after years of doing that, because it was of no use:

99 out of 100 times I got back an indifferent look, a dismal look, and even a "w-t-f are you looking at" look.

Really? Not sure where you live but out in the countryside, I find coaxing a smile out of Thais is easy.

I agree with that 100%.

[Tchooptip]

It's funny, I have smiled to every one all my life, but sincerely, not fake smiles.

All my friends told me so many times, Geo its incredible you smile all the time!

Oh really, I used to answer (with a smile) maybe, I am not really conscious of it it is probably my way of communicate with other people .

I do not believe it is a kind of weakness to avoid conflicts. I am not afraid of conflicts physically or psychologically.

I guess it an heritage of my mother and my grand mother. So this subject of smiling came many times in my life, and I can understand OP 100%.

[gandalf12]

You know farangs smile for many different reasons too, right?

Some of the farangs here seem to be somewhat lacking in social skills, so I guess it's no surprise that the smiling thing confuses them.

I suggest you get out a bit more. You obviously have a lot lacking in social understanding

[Cpkt8]

It feels good to smile at others and smile exchanged. But what if the other party returned the smile stone-faced? Will that spoil your mood for the rest of the day?

Also if a lady smiles first, will she be viewed as easy? Dilemma at times.

[Transporter]

Reading between the lines of the post it seems to be saying that there is more road rage, more anger, more suicides, more thefts, more crime. more reckless driving and more misery amongst Thai people due to the falling economy which is a result of more corruption and bad management so we as visitors can help by showing a little more gratitude for being tolerated.

I am confused????????

[mgjackson69]

Watched a pair of ladies practically shove their yard-long Look-At-Me-I'm-With-Nat.Geo Nikon lens up the nose of an elderly lady sitting on the pavement selling veggies at the Chiang Rai street market. She smiled at them, and they returned her smile stone-faced, like she had two heads, then glanced at each other and laughed.

A pair of ladies I think not !. I see far too many tourists acting that way and worse. I was asked by friends in the states why I don't post more pictures of things and people in my neighborhood. I explained that you don't nose around and take pictures of your neighbors...I am not a tourist...it takes a good 3 to 6 months to get your neighbors to become accustomed to you in their space, you don't go screwing it up by acting like a ninny fresh off the Lonely Planet bookshelf.

Indeed...the whole "photos or it didn't happen" mindset is nonsense.

I would rather experience what is going on than have my eye to a camera or phone cam.

Photography is one of my hobbies...but I do not feel the need to record everything.

[Tchooptip]

I gave up the "give a smile first" approach after years of doing that, because it was of no use:

99 out of 100 times I got back an indifferent look, a dismal look, and even a "w-t-f are you looking at" look.

Really? Not sure where you live but out in the countryside, I find coaxing a smile out of Thais is easy.

I find the same here in Bangkok.

I find the same here in Samui.

[Transporter]

So reading between the lines what this post seems to be saying is there is more crime, more road rage, more reckless driving, more theft, more anger, more suicides, more murder, more rape, more violence and more corruption amongst Thai people caused by the state of the economy so we, as visitors, should show more gratitude and appreciation for being tolerated.

Hmmm! I am confused?

[mgjackson69]

One does not need to everyone's buddy...but being agreeable and pleasant is not difficult.

Until a person has a reason not to be.

[louse1953]

Do Thais smile at Vietnamese,Chinese,Indonesian people that they don't know.Do you smile at every stranger in your own country.Until Expat becomes a country that i belong to and i know my fellow countryman,why should i smile at a person just because the colour of his skin.