Blackheart Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I have been with my wife for nearly 8 years and our relationship has been amazing, she is my wife and the best friend I have ever had. Since day one every member of my family have consistently hounded me over things that have not happened,she will Rip you off, she will leave you, she will do this she will do that. Every time she proves them wrong and does not they create a new imagined problem that may arise. My brother is with an alcoholic who is arrested regularly yet they never let up on my wife behind her back. I now limit my contact with them, my wife cut them off completely, now after saying the most disgusting things about her and thai people, she is the bad one for not going to family events. She will never talk to them and she has my blessing, she has been lovely and they treat her like a dog over things that they think may happen. My father who passed recently was fantastic to her however, it's all for no other reason then she is thai. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gecko123 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Sounds like you live in your home country. You might want to consider moving to Thailand. People are much more open-minded here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrTrip Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Maybe your family have been reading the "horror stories" section of TV where generally Thai women are bad. In which case I would suggest that your family are not necessarily racist but instead have a negative perception of a stereotypical Thai woman. Myself, I have been married nearly 9 years and we have lived in the UK together the entire time. In all these years I cannot recall a single time when family or friend has doubted either of our intentions. We do not have a large age gap and maybe that is important from the outside looking in? My wife has been welcomed with open arms into my small family and larger circle of friends. I don't envy your position. Good luck Trip Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onetime Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Falls on deaf ears.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackheart Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 We have a three year age gap,they met her twice and said she was lovely. Then the talk began behind our backs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackheart Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 Falls on deaf ears.... Not sure what you mean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrTrip Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Falls on deaf ears.... Not sure what you mean Please enlighten us onetime Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BudRight Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 People are much more open-minded here. I am now sure that you do not speak Thai. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussietraveller Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Sorry to hear that they feel that way. It is their loss. My wife is a blessing to me and i am fortunate that my family all accept her. It is a pity we can't choose our family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackheart Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 I will say one thing, my wife's family are great, they never get in our business. Wish I could say the same for mine, my daughter was three before certain family members decided to visit, even though they were at times less then one block away from our home. Called me once when my daughter was two and asked what sex she was and her name, despite talking regularly on the phone. Can't tell me they did not know. I was bankrupt when we met so they can't say it was money, obviously she then becomes a visa Hunter. She can't win, bothers me but the wife does not care at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackheart Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 So pleased she had a better relationship though with my poor old father then they did. He died penniless and she new he had nothing yet she dropped everything often to care for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackheart Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 They even used to go through her Facebook history looking for things, but to no avail they found nothing, so they make up possible future scenarios then act like they happened already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Some families are good some are bad, many "white" families can be as racist as some of the Thais here. But here on Thavisa we are always the victim, whites can never be wrong in the eyes of some here. My family has never had a problem with my (now) ex wife she was good then and good now. Even when we had a divorce she did not do any money grabbing and we ended it in a good way. Not all Thais are the same plenty of good Thai ladies, but many foreigners are just stupid going for a pretty face half their age and expecting it to be love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gecko123 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 People are much more open-minded here. I am now sure that you do not speak Thai. http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?s=e7f6db4e3a5bffd471b3ccc9c7ea3a21&app=googlecse#gsc.tab=0&gsc.q=gecko123%20thai%20language%20forum Next time please do your own homework. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colinneil Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 People are more open minded here !! What planet are you on ?? !! Thai people are just as racist as the rest of the world. We are farangs, whether we are married to a family member or not. Family talk about the farang even when speaking about you with your Thai wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 People are more open minded here !! What planet are you on ?? !! Thai people are just as racist as the rest of the world. We are farangs, whether we are married to a family member or not. Family talk about the farang even when speaking about you with your Thai wife. Don't speak for all of us.. never had that problem. You assume because it happens with you it happens everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberfarang Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) We have a three year age gap,they met her twice and said she was lovely. Then the talk began behind our backs. If you and your wife are living with your family then you`re stuffed. If not I would say to them, if they cannot accept and respect your wife then you will be cutting all ties from them. Otherwise the only over option is to grin and bear it. Edited January 26, 2016 by cyberfarang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geriatrickid Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 To recap; - You were a bankrupt; - Your father was impoverished and in need of assistance; - Your brother is an alcoholic and is frequently arrested; - Your family is hostile to your wife and did not show an interest in your daughter. Quite a collection of winning attributes you have there. I have a feeling there's a wee bit more to this wonderful story. I can see why you would have sought out a Thai spouse. She must be quite "special" to pick a man who has all these enticing attributes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gsxrnz Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 People are more open minded here !! What planet are you on ?? !! Thai people are just as racist as the rest of the world. We are farangs, whether we are married to a family member or not. Family talk about the farang even when speaking about you with your Thai wife. Totally incorrect. If your dog bites you and shits in the corner, you failed to train it properly. If your Thai family treat you with disrespect and one-up-man-ship, you didn't train educate them properly. If one passes me without dipping their head they get a swift reminder. They wouldn't dare refer to me as Farang, always Khun John. Anyway, you probably hear Farang from them and think they're talking about you, when in fact they're discussing the potato crop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piersbeckett Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 To recap; - You were a bankrupt; - Your father was impoverished and in need of assistance; - Your brother is an alcoholic and is frequently arrested; - Your family is hostile to your wife and did not show an interest in your daughter. Quite a collection of winning attributes you have there. I have a feeling there's a wee bit more to this wonderful story. I can see why you would have sought out a Thai spouse. She must be quite "special" to pick a man who has all these enticing attributes. I think the brother is with an alcoholic who is arrested regularly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SecurityGuardWontSaluteMe Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Are you fat or ugly? If not, they are clearly jealous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sipi Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 It is their loss Blackheart. You are doing the right thing by not allowing them to ruin your marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pieeyed Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 A lot of people who have not left their home country or sometimes their home state do not know how to live anywhere else. Most people are envious and uneducated. Carry on as your wife will be by your side as your family just wants to make your happiness miserable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomyai Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Wheres the RaciSm? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgrahmm Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) Sounds to me you've married up from your family.....Maybe it's a control thing carry over.... As long as you are happy with YOUR life don't waste energy or gray cells over negative influences someone wants to give you.... They own the/their problems → let them..... You don't need them or their life controlling acceptance..... Edited January 26, 2016 by pgrahmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i claudius Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 My wife and I have been married 23 years,there is a quite large age gap,much of that time we lived in the UK with our son ,my family love her ,my friends all liked her and we only ever once had a bad word spoken to us and that was when a Pakistani guy was rude and even asked how much I paid for her. We have now been back here for 10 years and her family are as nice to me as mine were to her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i claudius Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 People are more open minded here !! What planet are you on ?? !! Thai people are just as racist as the rest of the world. We are farangs, whether we are married to a family member or not. Family talk about the farang even when speaking about you with your Thai wife. My wife's family have never ever ever called me farang,its always by my first name ,ever since we became a couple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangkokjulia Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Just goes to show-unfortunately you can't choose your relatives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puffy Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I have had a very similar situation. I don't put it down to racism, apart from on my brother's girlfriend who is very racist. My Father had heard horror stories from a friend who lives in Thailand of his who happens to be an overweight 60 plus expat. These types often have very negative views on Thai women, as the only ones they get to meet are bar girls, who obviously are with them only for their 1000 pound a month pension. My father then spread these stories around other family members who believed them. When I visited them in England it was not a pleasant first evening, and a huge family argument ensued. The problem was not so much a dislike for her, but concern over stories they heard. I addressed this issue and made it clear to my parents the types of people who have these sorts of problems and the type of girls they are with. I was able to allay their concerns and now everyone apart from my brother's girlfriend loves her. There could also be the issue that one person doesn't like her and poisons others minds against her. Personally, I did not want to cut off any of my family as they are all important to me, but I made sure I dealt with the issues and what they had heard about Thai girls. If you cut them off there will be no way to rectify the issue, unless you are happy to do this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JAFO Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) I have this view that while they are family, you do not have to like them. If their behavior is unacceptable ignore them and cease communication(which it sounds like you did) until they either get it and apologize. That choice is entirely theirs. I don't think its racism, as MrTrip said it is "negative perception and typical stereotyping." I believe in most cases its jealousy. Point in case, my younger brother is so jaded that the US is the best place to live on the planet that anybody from anywhere else on the planet is 3rd world. Its amazing the bias he carries. We do not talk at all and he has never met my wife and I plan on keeping it that way. There is nothing to be gained by introducing them. He has lived in a vacuum forever and I refuse to explain it to him because I feel like I am justifying my decision to live in Thailand which feeds his belief. Sadly the internet and the US media feeds and propagates this negative perception in many regards. They show poor sick kids living in a shack along a river where they drink from the same water they shower and do laundry. They seldom show anything that might contradict that image. Even the assnine reality and eating foods abroad shows portray terrible images. Most Americans never leave the US and travel so they have only one opinion. Most everybody gave you sound advice, consider the source and move on. Your life will be far better for it. Edited January 26, 2016 by JAFO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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