Someone explain my luck

[impartialobserver]

I was in the same boat as you when I first arrived in Thailand ... though I had a senior level job at an MNC.

Finding sex was, and continues to be, an easy and fun distraction. Finding a girlfriend was a different matter entirely and really more difficult than my home country. The only way that worked for me, and dozens of my expat freinds, was to be introduced to Thai girls through Thai freinds/acquaintances/associates. The majority of the Thai's that did the introductions were very "Western" in their outlook and most were educated overseas and held high paying jobs. Needless to say, they introduced me to girls who were similar in education and background. Some of the girls were full Thai and some were LK. If you plan to meet girls in clubs, bars etc the only ones that will be interested are the ones you don't want. Quality girls in Thailand simply don't respond well to total strangers approaching them. Much of the advice you have been given here will lead you to unsatifying relationships and the usual race to the bottom that many have joined.

You need to build a group of quality Thai freinds ... male and female. You expat freinds won't be much help as they will keep all the best ones for themselves. You need to get out to the obvious places to do this. The better clubs and bars, attend any and all social and quasi business functions you can ... Chamber of Commerce, sponsored events (Johnny Walker does some good ones), national day parties (all of the expat nationalities have one or two a year) etc. Getting out on the sleaze is fun but put more time into building a network of Thai freinds. Once you do this they will make the introductions for you and the rest will be up to you. Do also put some time into learning to speak Thai properly. Avoid, at all costs, learning bar girl Thai. This version of Thai stands out like dogs balls on a hot day. It speaks volumes about you and will kill any chance you might have had to meet a quality girl. If you already speak the bar girl/Esarn version of Thai, better to pretend to speak zero Thai until such time as you can speak some proper Thai.

The above is my experience. The approach worked for me like a charm. I have seen it work for many others - assuming you are of some means. Dated lots of great girls (and had fun with lots of fun/bad ones). Have been married to a Thsi girl for 18 years now. All of her freinds keep asking me to introduce them to Farang guys ... all are fed up with Thai men, so much do that a few have switched to same sex relationships. Not saying all Thai men are losers just that it's equally difficult for a quality Thai girl to meet her equivalent in Thailand.

I guess some people will bash me for being an elitist. I just know what I want and what is good for me. To each his own, I don't judge. I get what your problem is, I was there once. You just need a strategy and a plan and get on with it. Don't leave things to chance and don't aim low .... or you are likely to be successful.

BTW, the dating sites are like the insurance business. You make a 1,000 contacts, you get 100 referrals, you might get one policy sold. If you have the time for this, with the odds stacked against you, go ahead. I would just suggest you ask all the right questions and get very good at reading the motivations before spending to much time on this. If you have to mee them to figure this out then meet for a coffee during the day or right after work. Remember, you have to make a lot of cold calls to even get a probable.

Thank you--very wise words indeed. Much like online dating or the insurance business, separating the wheat from the chaff on this forum is a challenge.

[Transporter]

A lovely (Stunning) 21 year old single girl (Never Worked In a Bar) who speaks a little English and willing to learn more is waiting to meet you. She works at a mobile phone shop in Udon Thani.

[bark]

Are you the younger brother of Brad Pitt ? Or just full of S--t ?

Troll on , troll on

Also there is a sale on 4 feet x 8 feet mirrors; if you need to buy another 10-15 !

[sipi]

I met my wife in Chinatown Bangkok. It wasn't rocket science.

[ThailandLOS]

JHolmesJr, I think you've kind of hit the nail on the head. That's been my suspicion for a while.

Before I moved here I lived in Singapore where finding and dating attractive women was extremely easy, but perhaps I'm too nerdy for Thai women.

I assume the hi-so girls are less interested in the bad boy type; am I wrong on that?

Yes you are wrong in that, trust me

[elgenon]

Two comments.

No, not all Thai girls like pizza. haha

Some girls have told me they prefer an older farang man because he is less likely to fool around with other girls. The problem they had with young Thai guys.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Two comments.

No, not all Thai girls like pizza. haha

Some girls have told me they prefer an older farang man because he is less likely to fool around with other girls. The problem they had with young Thai guys.

Yes.... That's the reason. Real bargirl talk.

[chicowoodduck]

Stop listening to your mother....just join the Lieland conga line and hope for the best....we are ALL good looking, young, and handsome men here in LOS....:-)

[BaldPlumber]

I'm surprised to learn that Thailand seems to be teeming with attractive girls desperate to learn English.

For those who don't drink, smoke or go to bars, just how much time can you spend in malls and what the hell do you do there?

[thaiduncankk]

I'm surprised to learn that Thailand seems to be teeming with attractive girls desperate to learn English.

For those who don't drink, smoke or go to bars, just how much time can you spend in malls and what the hell do you do there?

The intelligent Thais I know, male and female, speak excellent English, having studied hard at school and university.

So what were these stunners doing during their school English lessons ?

They cannot be that smart.

[atyclb]

dear OP,

you will not win any popularity contests on tv forum by stating you are young, fit, secure and educated and apparently actually handsome.

dating sites seem to be populated with majority thai gals seeking a better financial future. you get the occasional educated good job gals that might be not physically attractive. the attractive ones may think they are gods gift to this word and or may have been dumped by last bf (thai or farang) better looking gals on dating site receive many many messages and can feel like princesses. i agree with the erratic behavior and lack of responses and followup chat.

the higher level gals are least likely to be on dating sites. i have discussed these things with such gals because my condo complex is 99% thai upper level and i have made friends and read thai.

nightlife venues where you have a chance to make friends with higher level gals are RCA where you can meet asian non thais that live in bkk as well as thai's. rca has a minimum of hookers as opposed to nana, silom, etc even big name hotels.

another night spot is "parking toys" the tawandaeng restaurants are nice also with live music and good food and majority gals with real jobs.

learn to sing a couple of thai songs and at restaurants and pubs if you jam with the band people can invite you to their table and gals might even buy you a drink

meetup.com is also a viable option as theres thai gals that have studied abroad.

try to network at universities, ABAC is a good start.

if you dont appear to be trying to pickup girls you will see people warm up and friendships are more important.

Edited February 3, 2016 by atyclb

[atyclb]

KEEP IN MIND: (for your safety)

Never and ever reveal your real identity, = tell a nick name, etc,

Where you staying, = tell somewhere else,

What are you doing in your life, = just a generic, or the commonly known job for foreigners (English teacher)

In Thailand, Never and ever think about pay for sex,

since I am living here for a while,, I still try to believe how a man will do this in the land of smiles !!?

in other countries maybe,

so keep throwing your net in the running stream everyday, chances and opportunities are there! trust you will find what type you like, can easily find 25 - 30 of age,

So having met a nice girl and told her your name is "Steve" how do you then explain when she meets your friends that your name is really "Charles" ?

the average "attention span" will take of of this

How do you take her home if you can't tell her where you live?

hotels or see above

How do you explain taking her dinner and drinks and spending more in one night than a teacher earns in a week, if she thinks you are a teacher?

inability to connect dots and or think analytically will take care of this

"Oh sorry darling, I wasn't sure if I could trust you so I lied about my name, my job and where I live."

see above responses

Seriously, not all of us trawl through the sewers where we have to keep our identities secret.

to each their own

[Shiver]

I've never tried this myself, but I've heard several times of people going to the mall or night market to meet non BG's. Whatever their social status, at least you're more likely to find a natural local ('scuse the oxy).

I was 36 myself when I arrived here (with very low self esteem at that time of life), yet still had lots of double takes and near motorbike crashes with cuties rubber necking. I was never particularly good looking either, just average. Time moves on though and the social climate has also changed in more recent years (as well as both hairs on my head losing some neighbours). Still, it's not hard for a wall flower like me to get the interest of someone looking for a 'job' in return for security.

Real relationships I concur with a previous poster about compartmentalising, my friends are farang, my Thai relationships are more in the direction of facilitators where my own skills end. In contradiction of myself, I think my GF is the most beautiful Thai I've ever seen, and has a heart of pyrite.

[williamgeorgeallen]

you dont have to go on dates here. lots of short time bars here and you can even pay extra to go all night if you are the romantic kind. seriously if you want company you should hang out with your mates, if you have no mates you need to join a club.

Edited February 3, 2016 by williamgeorgeallen

[Shaunduhpostman]

Seems to me learning Thai would be a logical next step. It can only widen the pool of ladies that would be of interest to you and it can only add to the list of things that might impress some. When I was your age, I was just this poor dope teaching English and I don't mean to brag but just to give you the honest truth about my situation, I had ladies beating my door down, simply because I had knuckled down and studied and quickly learned to speak Thai pretty well. I was a complete failure with women in California where I grew up and in several other Asian countries I have lived and worked but not so here and it's just as well as find Thai women to be among the most appealing in the world.

Women who don't speak English are going to be far more interested than their English speaking sisters because many of the girls who speak English have already been there and done that with regard to dating foreigners. Non-English speaking girls I found were way more gung ho to get to know me, many of them were thrilled to make their first contact with a foreign guy and that is a really good start to meeting anyone. Maybe things are differnt now than they were 16-20 years ago when I was playing the field, like you are now, in my 30's. I can't imagine that things have gotten that much worse as far as ladies, tho I am sure, there is a higher level of general burn out on foreigners and more xenophobia than there was back in the day. But, I'd bet that still, even today, that If you can hold a conversation in Thai with a girl you are interested in, you are already 70 percent finished and you can get what you want out of the connection, provided you are, as you seem to suggest, reasonably well presented. To many English speaking Thai ladies, it just isn't that interesting in and of itself to met a foreigner. I can't re-call that I have ever done much better than a blase response from girls who have already dated a lot of foreigners. In fact, after 19 years of coming to Thailand and finally moving here I have yet to make any significant connection with any Thai lass who is an English speaker. I have found that they are out of my league and personally I don't trust their motivations to get fluent in English, so in my case the disinterest is mutual. Even now in my 50's there is no shortage of girls in their 20's who seem receptive to being chatted up in Thai, maybe I am just a deluded old goat, but upcountry anyway just chit chat with supermarket clerk or with someone in line gets a lot of smiles and long looks, I don't look like I'm in my fifties by certainly don't look 30's.

I'd enroll in a Thai class, you might make some friends there as well that might help or even be good for dates, who knows. Language institutes often have a lot of cute charming staff working there as well who might be interested in dating you, so it wouldn't be just a matter of lucking out and getting an attractive Thai teacher, probably many of her students are trying to do the same and it won't likely fly.

Also, tho I haven't encountered it much in Thailand, but in some other Asian countries like Taiwan and Japan, doing a language exchange is a viable way of meeting up with ladies for a chat and see if anything clicks on the pretext of getting mutual language speaking practice. There might be some web board with notices from ladies in Bangkok

-maybe Craig's list has something like that- who want to meet up for coffee and English speaking practice as there is in Japan and Taiwan. You don't even have to be looking to practice Thai, many ladies are quite happy just to meet up for coffee for an hour and chat in English, but again, it might make you all that more appealing if you show some Thai ability and interest in learning.

Aside from Thai and dating, and as you can see I bang on quite awhile here, just to mention some of the many things you'll run into learning Thai, as far as actually dealing with Thai language and Thai speakers, a whole unexpected world opens up. While I speak Thai very well, and have for years, I still have problems with all the informal ways that people speak, local dialects, and also have problems with comprehension when the situation is very formal such as at a business meeting or listening to government officials making some proclamation on the news. Also, it's from very hard to impossible to, for example, eavesdrop on conversations between Thais and understand more than about 20 percent of what is being said. There is also the problem that some Thais have where they find they have a mental block as far as a non-Thai speaking Thai, they either cannot or will not understand what you are saying even tho you may speak clearly and correctly, they'll just sit there screwing up their faces saying "Arai-na?". That might sound like I am Thai bashing here, but it is what I have found and can present an obstacle to your confidence in how well you speak. Chances are you speak pretty well and the problem is just with some people who really just don't want to communicate with others period let alone someone with a strange accent and foreign face. But particular problem will only mostly come up with people you don't know well, tho I still have problems with some of my in-laws refusing to understand or listen to what I say, but I've noticed they are that way with Thais as well. Most Thais, especially if they don't know you well, don't deal with your asking them to repeat something you didn't quite catch, they either won't answer any questions or just say forget it, it wasn't important anyway or if you tell them what you think you understood they won't tell you that you didn't understand correctly and will instead just agree to whatever you say you think you understood no matter how off target it is. But if you are Asian, then you will have fewer problems with even the most butchered Thai. In fact, my Japanese English students used to complain that too many Thais would just not accept that they couldn't speak Thai and refuse to speak English and yammer at them in Thai everytime they'd meet up. "My neighbor! He is very nice man! But I tell him why don't speak the English to me? I cannot undrstand you!" Again, the way you look has a lot to do with the way the world turns here. Learning Thai and trying to use it is not exactly straight forward, and there are more than a few Thais who simply will have it out for you just because you speak and understand Thai, as foreigner you are not supposed be able to speak at all, and it seems to be a pet peeve of too many Thais that they really cannot stand having their preconceptions about anything shattered and should you be the one who did them the favor you won't exactly be thanked.

However, once you connect with someone even just a bit, they may be capable and willing to grade their language and will speak a little slower and clearer and drop the idioms and slang and they of course won't do the you-are-a-foreigner-so-speaking-Thai-is-out-of-the-question number and will cooperate regarding clarifications that need to be made about things you aren't understanding 100 percent.

I find that after all has been said and done I feel more confident being able to communicate in Thai than my friends who can't really speak, and that confidence will ceratinly open some doors with the ladies. You can't go wrong putting your nose to the grindstone and studying everyday for an hour or so for a few months, and then having a fun Thai class a few nights a week and then more fun trying to practice your Thai on unsuspecting young ladies of your choosing. I envy you being well off and with a career in your 30's, I'd bet with a good handle on Thai under your belt you'll clean up if you can be a bit forward and extend yourself to any who seem to be interesting that you may happen to meet anywhere.

[tolsti]

Ladies and Gentlemen.... We have a Sex God among us.

How did you know I was here?

I asked Obama.....

[kannot]

Don't try to meet a woman on a dating site. I met my wife on a penpal site.

BTW, I'm going to emphasize this fact again.... Just because I can. In the past 3 years I haven't paid a single baht in my relationship and didn't even pay for the wedding.

Good luck with your search. Avoid dating sites.

My wedding cost the sum total of about 4-500 baht as we had to buy her two friends lunch during their lunch hour as they were our witnesses....................I never stop reminding her of this financial outlay even 10 years later

[mickyboy]

does he not not that beauty is only skin deep and money is only good if you know what to do with it and the most excecise men want to do really is in the sack and at the bar i had to check to look at the name again but did not see the footballer ronaldo im ugly unfit and have beautiful wife because i have whats called a personality and a loving and caring nature and im broke oh well one allways get what one deserves in life

[MeHere]

the higher level gals are least likely to be on dating sites. i have discussed these things with such gals because my condo complex is 99% thai upper level and i have made friends and read thai.

nightlife venues where you have a chance to make friends with higher level gals are RCA where you can meet asian non thais that live in bkk as well as thai's. rca has a minimum of hookers as opposed to nana, silom, etc even big name hotels.

Sorry, but I disagree:

There are many, many high quality girls on the dating sites... but of course there are many of the opposite as well... You need to use your sense while filtering through them. If it walks like a duck, it just might be a duck... if you sleep with dogs, you might get fleas, caveat emptor, etc etc etc

I also found RCA to be full of freelancers and party girls, sponsored attention hoes with their glittery baseball caps and shortest of the shorts in that awesome thai style gyrating around (I can't stand these types)...

For 'high quality' (subjective) girls, I think the OP would be better off in Thong Lor district. There are many upper end night clubs jam packed full of quality Thai (and western) girls. There are great restaurants and it's a lot of fun as well!

[denby45]

I'm still trying to work out what the difference in looks is between a 35 year old and a 30 year old. Take me for instance I am 59 years old but look only 54. I must have been born when I was 5.

Den

[denby45]

Seems to me learning Thai would be a logical next step. It can only widen the pool of ladies that would be of interest to you and it can only add to the list of things that might impress some. When I was your age, I was just this poor dope teaching English and I don't mean to brag but just to give you the honest truth about my situation, I had ladies beating my door down, simply because I had knuckled down and studied and quickly learned to speak Thai pretty well. I was a complete failure with women in California where I grew up and in several other Asian countries I have lived and worked but not so here and it's just as well as find Thai women to be among the most appealing in the world.

Women who don't speak English are going to be far more interested than their English speaking sisters because many of the girls who speak English have already been there and done that with regard to dating foreigners. Non-English speaking girls I found were way more gung ho to get to know me, many of them were thrilled to make their first contact with a foreign guy and that is a really good start to meeting anyone. Maybe things are differnt now than they were 16-20 years ago when I was playing the field, like you are now, in my 30's. I can't imagine that things have gotten that much worse as far as ladies, tho I am sure, there is a higher level of general burn out on foreigners and more xenophobia than there was back in the day. But, I'd bet that still, even today, that If you can hold a conversation in Thai with a girl you are interested in, you are already 70 percent finished and you can get what you want out of the connection, provided you are, as you seem to suggest, reasonably well presented. To many English speaking Thai ladies, it just isn't that interesting in and of itself to met a foreigner. I can't re-call that I have ever done much better than a blase response from girls who have already dated a lot of foreigners. In fact, after 19 years of coming to Thailand and finally moving here I have yet to make any significant connection with any Thai lass who is an English speaker. I have found that they are out of my league and personally I don't trust their motivations to get fluent in English, so in my case the disinterest is mutual. Even now in my 50's there is no shortage of girls in their 20's who seem receptive to being chatted up in Thai, maybe I am just a deluded old goat, but upcountry anyway just chit chat with supermarket clerk or with someone in line gets a lot of smiles and long looks, I don't look like I'm in my fifties by certainly don't look 30's.

I'd enroll in a Thai class, you might make some friends there as well that might help or even be good for dates, who knows. Language institutes often have a lot of cute charming staff working there as well who might be interested in dating you, so it wouldn't be just a matter of lucking out and getting an attractive Thai teacher, probably many of her students are trying to do the same and it won't likely fly.

Also, tho I haven't encountered it much in Thailand, but in some other Asian countries like Taiwan and Japan, doing a language exchange is a viable way of meeting up with ladies for a chat and see if anything clicks on the pretext of getting mutual language speaking practice. There might be some web board with notices from ladies in Bangkok

-maybe Craig's list has something like that- who want to meet up for coffee and English speaking practice as there is in Japan and Taiwan. You don't even have to be looking to practice Thai, many ladies are quite happy just to meet up for coffee for an hour and chat in English, but again, it might make you all that more appealing if you show some Thai ability and interest in learning.

Aside from Thai and dating, and as you can see I bang on quite awhile here, just to mention some of the many things you'll run into learning Thai, as far as actually dealing with Thai language and Thai speakers, a whole unexpected world opens up. While I speak Thai very well, and have for years, I still have problems with all the informal ways that people speak, local dialects, and also have problems with comprehension when the situation is very formal such as at a business meeting or listening to government officials making some proclamation on the news. Also, it's from very hard to impossible to, for example, eavesdrop on conversations between Thais and understand more than about 20 percent of what is being said. There is also the problem that some Thais have where they find they have a mental block as far as a non-Thai speaking Thai, they either cannot or will not understand what you are saying even tho you may speak clearly and correctly, they'll just sit there screwing up their faces saying "Arai-na?". That might sound like I am Thai bashing here, but it is what I have found and can present an obstacle to your confidence in how well you speak. Chances are you speak pretty well and the problem is just with some people who really just don't want to communicate with others period let alone someone with a strange accent and foreign face. But particular problem will only mostly come up with people you don't know well, tho I still have problems with some of my in-laws refusing to understand or listen to what I say, but I've noticed they are that way with Thais as well. Most Thais, especially if they don't know you well, don't deal with your asking them to repeat something you didn't quite catch, they either won't answer any questions or just say forget it, it wasn't important anyway or if you tell them what you think you understood they won't tell you that you didn't understand correctly and will instead just agree to whatever you say you think you understood no matter how off target it is. But if you are Asian, then you will have fewer problems with even the most butchered Thai. In fact, my Japanese English students used to complain that too many Thais would just not accept that they couldn't speak Thai and refuse to speak English and yammer at them in Thai everytime they'd meet up. "My neighbor! He is very nice man! But I tell him why don't speak the English to me? I cannot undrstand you!" Again, the way you look has a lot to do with the way the world turns here. Learning Thai and trying to use it is not exactly straight forward, and there are more than a few Thais who simply will have it out for you just because you speak and understand Thai, as foreigner you are not supposed be able to speak at all, and it seems to be a pet peeve of too many Thais that they really cannot stand having their preconceptions about anything shattered and should you be the one who did them the favor you won't exactly be thanked.

However, once you connect with someone even just a bit, they may be capable and willing to grade their language and will speak a little slower and clearer and drop the idioms and slang and they of course won't do the you-are-a-foreigner-so-speaking-Thai-is-out-of-the-question number and will cooperate regarding clarifications that need to be made about things you aren't understanding 100 percent.

I find that after all has been said and done I feel more confident being able to communicate in Thai than my friends who can't really speak, and that confidence will ceratinly open some doors with the ladies. You can't go wrong putting your nose to the grindstone and studying everyday for an hour or so for a few months, and then having a fun Thai class a few nights a week and then more fun trying to practice your Thai on unsuspecting young ladies of your choosing. I envy you being well off and with a career in your 30's, I'd bet with a good handle on Thai under your belt you'll clean up if you can be a bit forward and extend yourself to any who seem to be interesting that you may happen to meet anywhere.

Hey My Postman I bet you were glad the letters in your bag were not as long as this one. You'd need a pack mule. LOL

Den

[blazes]

Seems to me learning Thai would be a logical next step. It can only widen the pool of ladies that would be of interest to you and it can only add to the list of things that might impress some. When I was your age, I was just this poor dope teaching English and I don't mean to brag but just to give you the honest truth about my situation, I had ladies beating my door down, simply because I had knuckled down and studied and quickly learned to speak Thai pretty well. I was a complete failure with women in California where I grew up and in several other Asian countries I have lived and worked but not so here and it's just as well as find Thai women to be among the most appealing in the world.

Women who don't speak English are going to be far more interested than their English speaking sisters because many of the girls who speak English have already been there and done that with regard to dating foreigners. Non-English speaking girls I found were way more gung ho to get to know me, many of them were thrilled to make their first contact with a foreign guy and that is a really good start to meeting anyone. Maybe things are differnt now than they were 16-20 years ago when I was playing the field, like you are now, in my 30's. I can't imagine that things have gotten that much worse as far as ladies, tho I am sure, there is a higher level of general burn out on foreigners and more xenophobia than there was back in the day. But, I'd bet that still, even today, that If you can hold a conversation in Thai with a girl you are interested in, you are already 70 percent finished and you can get what you want out of the connection, provided you are, as you seem to suggest, reasonably well presented. To many English speaking Thai ladies, it just isn't that interesting in and of itself to met a foreigner. I can't re-call that I have ever done much better than a blase response from girls who have already dated a lot of foreigners. In fact, after 19 years of coming to Thailand and finally moving here I have yet to make any significant connection with any Thai lass who is an English speaker. I have found that they are out of my league and personally I don't trust their motivations to get fluent in English, so in my case the disinterest is mutual. Even now in my 50's there is no shortage of girls in their 20's who seem receptive to being chatted up in Thai, maybe I am just a deluded old goat, but upcountry anyway just chit chat with supermarket clerk or with someone in line gets a lot of smiles and long looks, I don't look like I'm in my fifties by certainly don't look 30's.

I'd enroll in a Thai class, you might make some friends there as well that might help or even be good for dates, who knows. Language institutes often have a lot of cute charming staff working there as well who might be interested in dating you, so it wouldn't be just a matter of lucking out and getting an attractive Thai teacher, probably many of her students are trying to do the same and it won't likely fly.

Also, tho I haven't encountered it much in Thailand, but in some other Asian countries like Taiwan and Japan, doing a language exchange is a viable way of meeting up with ladies for a chat and see if anything clicks on the pretext of getting mutual language speaking practice. There might be some web board with notices from ladies in Bangkok

-maybe Craig's list has something like that- who want to meet up for coffee and English speaking practice as there is in Japan and Taiwan. You don't even have to be looking to practice Thai, many ladies are quite happy just to meet up for coffee for an hour and chat in English, but again, it might make you all that more appealing if you show some Thai ability and interest in learning.

Aside from Thai and dating, and as you can see I bang on quite awhile here, just to mention some of the many things you'll run into learning Thai, as far as actually dealing with Thai language and Thai speakers, a whole unexpected world opens up. While I speak Thai very well, and have for years, I still have problems with all the informal ways that people speak, local dialects, and also have problems with comprehension when the situation is very formal such as at a business meeting or listening to government officials making some proclamation on the news. Also, it's from very hard to impossible to, for example, eavesdrop on conversations between Thais and understand more than about 20 percent of what is being said. There is also the problem that some Thais have where they find they have a mental block as far as a non-Thai speaking Thai, they either cannot or will not understand what you are saying even tho you may speak clearly and correctly, they'll just sit there screwing up their faces saying "Arai-na?". That might sound like I am Thai bashing here, but it is what I have found and can present an obstacle to your confidence in how well you speak. Chances are you speak pretty well and the problem is just with some people who really just don't want to communicate with others period let alone someone with a strange accent and foreign face. But particular problem will only mostly come up with people you don't know well, tho I still have problems with some of my in-laws refusing to understand or listen to what I say, but I've noticed they are that way with Thais as well. Most Thais, especially if they don't know you well, don't deal with your asking them to repeat something you didn't quite catch, they either won't answer any questions or just say forget it, it wasn't important anyway or if you tell them what you think you understood they won't tell you that you didn't understand correctly and will instead just agree to whatever you say you think you understood no matter how off target it is. But if you are Asian, then you will have fewer problems with even the most butchered Thai. In fact, my Japanese English students used to complain that too many Thais would just not accept that they couldn't speak Thai and refuse to speak English and yammer at them in Thai everytime they'd meet up. "My neighbor! He is very nice man! But I tell him why don't speak the English to me? I cannot undrstand you!" Again, the way you look has a lot to do with the way the world turns here. Learning Thai and trying to use it is not exactly straight forward, and there are more than a few Thais who simply will have it out for you just because you speak and understand Thai, as foreigner you are not supposed be able to speak at all, and it seems to be a pet peeve of too many Thais that they really cannot stand having their preconceptions about anything shattered and should you be the one who did them the favor you won't exactly be thanked.

However, once you connect with someone even just a bit, they may be capable and willing to grade their language and will speak a little slower and clearer and drop the idioms and slang and they of course won't do the you-are-a-foreigner-so-speaking-Thai-is-out-of-the-question number and will cooperate regarding clarifications that need to be made about things you aren't understanding 100 percent.

I find that after all has been said and done I feel more confident being able to communicate in Thai than my friends who can't really speak, and that confidence will ceratinly open some doors with the ladies. You can't go wrong putting your nose to the grindstone and studying everyday for an hour or so for a few months, and then having a fun Thai class a few nights a week and then more fun trying to practice your Thai on unsuspecting young ladies of your choosing. I envy you being well off and with a career in your 30's, I'd bet with a good handle on Thai under your belt you'll clean up if you can be a bit forward and extend yourself to any who seem to be interesting that you may happen to meet anywhere.

Thank you, Molly Bloom.

[csabo]

Get off western sites and onto Thai sites. Your experiences will change from:

1. Fat to Slender to Borderline Malnutrition

2. Speaks no English to Says "yes" in perfect English to every question

3. Is a total flake to Will be happy to maintain a lucrative relationship until your wallet dries up

I was having a little fun there but I met my GF online and while I never would have thought it was something I would have done and can honestly say it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. My GF is amazing in every way. Hope you find the same.

[tomyumchai]

after a few lines into the op id have thought he woulda been knee deep in hiso bitches.

i did a bit of online dating as theres no hiso tarts hanging out in bars outside bkk and what an eye opener that was!

spoilt up-themselves self obsessed morons. i couldnt bring myself to sit in the same room with some as their arrogance and behaviour to those 'beneath them' appalled me.

if simpering airheadded bimbos who cant shake hands with anyone unless theyre hiso too is your bag then good for you.

and have you ever boned a fat bird? all the most memorable bones ive had have been with girls with a bit of size to them.

[ChangMaiSausage]

Ladies and Gentlemen.... We have a Sex God among us.

forget sex god, he's a angel.

How could a lady like/love him if he loves himself more...

Good luck

[12DrinkMore]

Don't try to meet a woman on a dating site. I met my wife on a penpal site.

Surely that's a joke.

You really can't be serious.

Probably he meant LINE.

[MaeJoMTB]

I've never tried this myself, but I've heard several times of people going to the mall or night market to meet non BG's. Whatever their social status, at least you're more likely to find a natural local ('scuse the oxy).

I know several stall holders in CM Night Bazaar.

After they close their stalls, they go and work in a Loi Krow bar.

[Phaeton]

Get off western sites and onto Thai sites. Your experiences will change from:

1. Fat to Slender to Borderline Malnutrition

2. Speaks no English to Says "yes" in perfect English to every question

3. Is a total flake to Will be happy to maintain a lucrative relationship until your wallet dries up

What do you mean by Thai sites?

[impartialobserver]

dear OP,

you will not win any popularity contests on tv forum by stating you are young, fit, secure and educated and apparently actually handsome.

dating sites seem to be populated with majority thai gals seeking a better financial future. you get the occasional educated good job gals that might be not physically attractive. the attractive ones may think they are gods gift to this word and or may have been dumped by last bf (thai or farang) better looking gals on dating site receive many many messages and can feel like princesses. i agree with the erratic behavior and lack of responses and followup chat.

the higher level gals are least likely to be on dating sites. i have discussed these things with such gals because my condo complex is 99% thai upper level and i have made friends and read thai.

nightlife venues where you have a chance to make friends with higher level gals are RCA where you can meet asian non thais that live in bkk as well as thai's. rca has a minimum of hookers as opposed to nana, silom, etc even big name hotels.

another night spot is "parking toys" the tawandaeng restaurants are nice also with live music and good food and majority gals with real jobs.

learn to sing a couple of thai songs and at restaurants and pubs if you jam with the band people can invite you to their table and gals might even buy you a drink

meetup.com is also a viable option as theres thai gals that have studied abroad.

try to network at universities, ABAC is a good start.

if you dont appear to be trying to pickup girls you will see people warm up and friendships are more important.

Thank you--this is really helpful. I've never been to RCA (never been to any nightclubs in Thailand) so maybe I should. I just need a wingman.

[sipi]

Sipis guide to meeting a partner in Thailand. It has worked for me and a lot of friends.

1. Fly to Thailand.

2. Get off plane.

3. Smile and be friendly.