In Praise of Thailand's Colorful Expats And Magnificent Eccentrics

[Fabricus]

The Original Street Cowboy

For reasons I won't divulge, I've been reflecting on events that took place in BKK in the year 2000. Back then it was possible to walk along Sukhumwit and see a sight that went off the radar.

I'm talking about Mark, an English guy -- about six foot three -- who dressed from head to toe as an American cowboy. Sometime his cowboy suit was yellow; on one occasion it was fluorescent pink. He had a pony tail which he always draped over his shoulder. He did this because, as he explained, "I like to look my best".

I always figured Mark was receiving some kind of disability pension from the UK; I guess his doctors had encouraged him to come to Thailand on the basis that friendly people and the climate might prove therapeutic.

I only knew Mark very briefly. I got a job at what I'll describe as a "BANK" and was shocked to find Mark working there. To this day I can still remember how he and the manager (also an Englishman) used to bitch and squabble.

If you too were around BKK at the time, you may have seen the guy I'm referring to.

The Kangaroid

Some clever person has taken the name "kanagaroo" and combined it with "steroids". The result is the Kangaroid.

The Kangaroid -- also known as Sharkey or The Shark -- is actually a New Zealander. And he's bloody enormous.

He's covered in Maori tattoos and struts around Pattaya wearing skimpy shorts and huge gold chains. The little girlies love him, and by all accounts he loves them, too.

You've probably heard a few stories already about the Kangaroid -- I've never met the guy so can't comment. He's obviously an eccentric, but I don't know to what extent he is (or might be) dangerous.

Astronaut Dave

Astronaut Dave was an American astronaut who frequented a particular bar in Pattaya in the mid-90s. He kept himself to himself and never spoke to a soul.

He always sat at the end of the bar and as the evening drew to a close would start recounting tales about space travel. He would typically look up at the ceiling and monologue along the lines of:

- Man, you guys just don't get it.

- It's so beautiful when you're up there.

- You gotta see it to believe it.

- Looking down on the planet changes you.

- Getting back in was the tough part.

- You gotta get that re-entry angle right.

- One degree out and you just bounce back into space.

Apparently Astronaut Dave was astonishing: his knowledge of the technologies involved was phenomenal and lots of people really did believe he was a former American astronaut.

So what was he -- an eccentric or a real astronaut? I've come across some seriously weird shit in Thailand and am prepared to accept that he may have been for real.

==========

Perhaps later I'll write about the Glitterman and the Colonel.

[sipi]

I have found Thailand to be relatively tame. Nepal in the early eighties was seriously weird.

[Enoon]

October 2015, Piccadilly, London.

Edited February 3, 2016 by Enoon

[Suradit69]

And the connection to Thailand's colorful expats is what?

October 2015, Piccadilly, London.

glitterman.jpg

[Fabricus]

And the connection to Thailand's colorful expats is what?

October 2015, Piccadilly, London.

glitterman.jpg

That photo shows the Glitterman. I didn't realize he'd gone back to London. Here he is in action in Pattaya. Apparently he used to post on this forum.

Edited February 3, 2016 by Fabricus

[lostmebike]

And the connection to Thailand's colorful expats is what?

October 2015, Piccadilly, London.

glitterman.jpg

That photo shows the Glitterman. I didn't realize he'd gone back to London. Here he is in action in Pattaya. Apparently he used to post on this forum.

Haha

I'm looking for the middle-finger icon Suradit but can't find it.

[1FinickyOne]

Around about 2000, there was a Swiss fellow who was an American Indian - perhaps he knew the cowboy guy...

[Benmart]

Live and Let Live. I enjoy the diversity.

[DrTuner]

And these characters are becoming extinct as the country is getting gentrified and losing all it's appeal. Glad I at least got the last dregs of it.

[khun custard]

Yes, Pattaya street life is all the duller since Glitterman departed - must be well over a year ago

The only character seen of recent is a guy who rides around on his push bike with a Macaw.

Not to sure how the locals took to him bringing it to lunch at the food court at the Big "G" (geriatric) on the Klang recently

[Commogwinto]

I think there's a guy doing his thing on a m/c in Pattaya now, not as colourful as the G-man though, miss seeing him cycling around town

[bazza40]

My contribution would be Magnus, a big Swedish guy who makes a good living organising golf tours throughout Thailand. No golfing technique to speak of, belts the ball like he is swatting a fly. Leftie. Fluent in Thai, English and Japanese.

Enormous capacity for alcohol. Played a round with him at Chiang Mai Highland, where he got through most of a bottle of vodka accompanied by orange juice. He explained the orange juice was for the Vitamin C. After the round, then proceeded to absorb three jugs of beer. Only visible effect was a reddening of his face.

Wears bespoke mono-colour shirts, shorts, socks and shoes tailored for him in Bangkok. I've seen him in hot pink and lime green.

I've seen a photo of Sharkey with a Thai chick, difficult to imagine more than one way for them to get it on without serious damage. Her trunk was about the same size as one of his arms. According to a guy here who knows him, he's not violent at all. Guess when you are that size you don't need to prove anything to anybody.

Edited February 4, 2016 by bazza40

[pmarlowe]

Hi -- you guys might be interested in reading Bangkok Babylon by Jerry Hopkins. He also wrote the definitive bio on Jim Morrison in the 80s -- but anyway, some very interesting characters in this book.

[Fabricus]

The Professor

Back in 2001 I used to hang out at a pub in Pat Pong called Bobby's Arms. Few people went there since it was so hard to find the entrance. To reach the place you had to walk up the ramp of a car park, turn left, go down a small flight of steps and then open an unmarked door.

One day Dr Gary Jones walked in. He sat next to me and started talking. He said he was from London and lived in Hua Hin; he told me he was a computer engineer and had invented a protocol which allowed music files to be downloaded freely over the internet. He described the music sharing website he'd set up; he said he was pissed off because Microsoft had stolen his ideas.

Predictably, he concluded by telling me he had no money.

I saw Dr Gary Jones a few more times after that. He was an eccentric misfit, but always very pleasant. He was like a lost child!

The last time I saw him was unreal. He told me about his plan to make "serious money" by smuggling heroin. I was speechless. What the hell was he thinking? He had a PhD and was exceptionally clever, but had no idea how criminals in BKK operate. He was so out of his depth.

In 2002 I was watching the news when the presenter began talking about an English guy who'd just been arrested at Don Muang airport. Apparently he'd been attempting to smuggle heroin to China. I knew what was coming next. I watched intensely as the camera panned across to the face of the English guy. It was Dr Gary Jones.

Gary was sentenced to life at Bang Kwang prison, the so-called Bangkok Hilton.

http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2002/nov/02/drugsandalcohol.thailand

PS. I went to an internet cafe in Silom after I first met Gary. I wanted to check his website. It existed. Everything he told me was true. He really had invented some kind of file sharing technology.

[tomyumchai]

I think there's a guy doing his thing on a m/c in Pattaya now, not as colourful as the G-man though, miss seeing him cycling around town

some old blue suzuki with a ton of crap nailed to it? i have a photo of that.... ive no idea why.

[Fabricus]

Around about 2000, there was a Swiss fellow who was an American Indian - perhaps he knew the cowboy guy...

I know for a fact there's at least one other guy in Thailand who remembers the Original Street Cowboy.

The guy was a manager at the "bank" where the cowboy worked. He was a drippy little guy from Birmingham, aged 37. His name's right on the tip of my tongue, but I can't remember it. Perhaps it'll come back to me later.

[bkktrapper]

Dull

[DrTuner]

Dull

Tell us a better one.

[Cynical Sailor]

A couple of years ago in Kanchanaburi I met a Thai guy who strolled around town as Captain Jack Sparrow. He had the walk and the mannerisms down pat (if he wasn't permanently drunk he did a very good impression). The only thing that gave him away was his accent. He was a genuine character and a nice bloke too.

[Fabricus]

The Prince of Liars

There are liars and there are liars. And then there's Fernao Mendes Pinto.

Miguel de Cervantes, author of Don Quixote, branded Pinto "the Prince of Liars"; Edgar Allen Poe alluded to him in A Valentine, a poem which describes Pinto as "the lying Knight".

The deal with Fernao Mendes Pinto is straightforward: he was one of a select group of incredibly brave Portuguese navigators who made it out to the Far East way back in the early 1500s; he set up shop for a while in Pattani and Ayuthaya; he saw and did some extraordinary things; he went back to Portugal and wrote The Peregrination, one of the finest travel books ever written.

The problem with Pinto is that few people believe what he wrote: his tales seem to border on fantasy and for the most part are dismissed as lies.

The main issue with his book concerns the accounts of various battles the King of Siam fought with Chiang Mai and Burma. Very simply, the numbers are absurd. In one episode, for example, Pinto describes how he witnessed Burma attack Ayuthaya with an army of 800,000 men and 5000 elephants; elsewhere he details his role in a Siamese campaign against Chiang Mai spearheaded by 400,000 soldiers. These numbers are just silly, and no way did Pinto witness or participate in these events.

The article below, Fernao Mendez Pinto's Account of Events in Siam, was published in the Journal of the Siam Society back in 1925. Pages 32-36 are the source for the figures I've quoted.

http://www.siamese-heritage.org/jsspdf/1921/JSS_020_1c_Wood_FernaoMendezPintoInSiam.pdf

[Fabricus]

The Rhino Hunter (part 1)

IMO, one of the most colorful characters to have lived in BKK this century was Colonel Ian Travis John, a man who I'll refer to as the Rhino Hunter.

The legend

In a nutshell, Colonel Ian Travis John served with the Australian Special Forces during the Vietnam war and rose to the rank of colonel. He also served with the Australian SAS. He arrived in BKK at the turn of the century and worked in boiler rooms. He was feared by just about everyone. One day he went into his office carrying a machine gun. He then set up his own company and, in doing so, pissed off the Americans who at the time controlled the city's boiler room industry. Ian was shot dead outside his house in Sukhumwit in 2002.

The reality

Ian was a New Zealander. He wasn't a colonel, nor was he ex-SAS. He was a criminal and a mercenary, sure, but also a really nice guy. He loved rugby. During the last months of his life he changed beyond recognition. He went from being one of my best friends to someone I hardly knew. The money corrupted him. He became paranoid, aggressive and reclusive.

Following Ian's assassination in 2002, the New Zealand Herald disucssed his flamboyant lifestyle:

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=1090699

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=1190771

The Rhino Hunter (part 2)

Once upon a time the Sumatran rhinoceros thrived throughout Siam and Burma. These days it's almost extinct and known to exist only in remote parts of Aceh, peninsular Malaysia and Sabah. Numbers for the species are thought to be as low as 250, including animals kept in captivity. The ICUN Red List of Threatened Species categorizes the rhino as Critically Endangered.

So who do you think was the last recorded westerner to have "discovered" a Sumatran rhinoceros in Burma?

=======

The website pachydermjournal.org publishes a biannual academic journal, Pachyderm. The article below, Sighting of a Rhinoceros in Upper Myanmar in 1996, was published in 2010 and details what Colonel Ian Travis John found on his travels.

To the very best of my knowledge this is the last time the Sumatran rhino was seen by a foreigner in Burma. The sighting was 20 years ago and the animal may now be extinct.

http://pachydermjournal.org/index.php/pachy/article/view/164/131

PS. The above link may take a few seconds to load.

[sipi]

Hey what about the "Siam Policeman" and his dumb sidekick that ran an online scam? You must be itching to tell us.

[Fabricus]

Hey what about the "Siam Policeman" and his dumb sidekick that ran an online scam? You must be itching to tell us.

It was actually the "dumb sidekick" that reminded me of the Original Street Cowboy.

The "dumb sidekick" opined (on another forum) that the awful Mr Fabricus can't go back to England as he'd be sectioned. I then realized he was thinking about the cowboy guy.

As I've hinted already, the "dumb sidekick" was the cowboy's manager at the "exotic finance company".

If you enjoyed reading my little story about the Original Street Cowboy, please be kind enough to thank the "dumb sidekick" as he was the inspiration for this thread.

Ain't karma a bitch!

[sipi]

Hey what about the "Siam Policeman" and his dumb sidekick that ran an online scam? You must be itching to tell us.

It was actually the "dumb sidekick" that reminded me of the Original Street Cowboy.

The "dumb sidekick" opined (on another forum) that the awful Mr Fabricus can't go back to England as he'd be sectioned. I then realized he was thinking about the cowboy guy.

As I've hinted already, the "dumb sidekick" was the cowboy's manager at the "exotic finance company".

If you enjoyed reading my little story about the Original Street Cowboy, please be kind enough to thank the "dumb sidekick" as he was the inspiration for this thread.

Ain't karma a bitch!

I can't thank him because I have joined the long queue of members banned from their pathetic forum, which apparently doesn't ban members. Long story.

Keep up the good work.

[Fabricus]

Hey what about the "Siam Policeman" and his dumb sidekick that ran an online scam? You must be itching to tell us.

It was actually the "dumb sidekick" that reminded me of the Original Street Cowboy.

The "dumb sidekick" opined (on another forum) that the awful Mr Fabricus can't go back to England as he'd be sectioned. I then realized he was thinking about the cowboy guy.

As I've hinted already, the "dumb sidekick" was the cowboy's manager at the "exotic finance company".

If you enjoyed reading my little story about the Original Street Cowboy, please be kind enough to thank the "dumb sidekick" as he was the inspiration for this thread.

Ain't karma a bitch!

I can't thank him because I have joined the long queue of members banned from their pathetic forum, which apparently doesn't ban members. Long story.

Keep up the good work.

Mmmm ........ sounds as though you've been Hawked.

I'll send you a PM and we can discuss the gory details. The various ways in which the "dumb sidekick" has incriminated himself are quite interesting.