My girlfriend ran away with our daugther, im legal father

[JHolmesJr]

If u have the means it may be an idea to hire a discreet private eye to keep tabs and build a case against her....esp if she is working in a bar or gogo and working as a ho.

Start from there and see how it goes.

[TheCruncher]

Try as hard as you can, but sorry to say you have seen the last of your daughter.

Thai family will hide her from you, and lie to your face that they are unaware of her whereabouts.

Seen the last of his daughter? He has full legal rights here. You may be prepared to make pronouncements like that from that bed of yours, but I certainly would not give up on finding my child, though it appears that you are at peace with the idea.

If he can find her the court can intervene, and people always run to where they know, especially with a child.. Say what you want about the thai legal system, but they have demonstrated on many occasions that they do what is in best interests of the child, be it the OP or the mother.

Telling a man to give up hope on his daughter is certainly iappropriate as a throw away remark as you while away the day.

Ever read this story on Thaivisa? I guess not, otherwise you would not talk about legal rights in Thailand.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/406005-abdution-of-my-daughter-by-my-thai-wife/

Abdution Of My Daughter, By My Thai Wife

[sead]

20000, shes fishing for the big fish. Please dont. I promise you she wont be a good girl after you promise her that...

[Norvid 1950]

I was reading the advice from forum and I think that a good lawyer can make a good case for you with full rights you are after. Make sure the price for the whole case is agreeable by you too and it's not prolonged for ever incurring extra cost. You can and you should negotiate the price with the lawyer. Thai lawyer with a good English might be best bet. Good luck.

[catman20]

move on !

[catman20]

If u have the means it may be an idea to hire a discreet private eye to keep tabs and build a case against her....esp if she is working in a bar or gogo and working as a ho.

Start from there and see how it goes.

working bar, never did you not know TVM ladies never work bar there all hiso ladies

[catman20]

I m living in phuket for 6 years.

I had a baby with a thai women. We have been to the court to legalise my rigths as father in Thailand. That was a year ago, now we are separated for 3 weeks.

She made a complain to the police station that i didn take care of my daughter (2 years old). We had a mediation : she was asking for 20000thb/month.

I asked to have the guards of the child 3 days per week, to send her to international school (at my cost) and to pay for the bills of my daugther (only).

She refused all three topics, then she ran away before signing the report of the mediation. Officially, on the paper, she was not there... but i have recorded the unofficial mediation.

The following day, she ran away to bangkok according to her family in Phuket. I tried to call her, phone is open but no answer...i had report this to the police station.

What are my options ?

Please help me.

Best suggestion, don't listen to these negative TV armchair experts.

not if you don't want to hear the truth, good advise

[hgma]

Go and see a lawyer, someone who your embassy recommends

Dutch Embassy recommends a list of lawyers on line just in case we need one.

Maybee your embassy does too.

Best of luck.

[uthaithanirules]

20000, shes fishing for the big fish. Please dont. I promise you she wont be a good girl after you promise her that...

20000 a month is big fish?

She hooked up, had a kid with a falang, probably expecting a income at least twice what she'd get from a thai man.

Falang is now talking about international schools, so she's petrified daughter will grow up and work overseas, she'll lose her daughter in that way....seems understandable

Sorry, but heard this too many times back home, let alone in Thailand. Guy has a kid, then pissed off his life changes, not gettin enough nookie or whatever, surprised how much it costs...like he never gave a moments thought beforehand how much it was going to cost

20000 a month is 500 euros, is that seriously too much to give her to look after the kid, or give it to the granny, or whoever is actually going to look after the kid....geeesh

OP sounds like a cheap charlie

And how old is the OP? Are we talking a 50 year old with a 25 year old (not that theres anything wrong with that ) If so I really dont understand the attitude. Wifey will probably live up to 40 years longer...as the kids only parent

[oxo1947]

So what we know at the moment is that ---he seems completely blameless & she's a bitch looking for money---with no real love or thought for her child.

There are 3 sides to every story ---especially--on here--- his --her's-- The truth.

Twenty-five years ago (when I first came to Thailand) I would have been quick to judge the woman, but now I would wonder what happened to cause her to act that way. She may just be selfish, but maybe not.....why did the on old lady lash out at him with her walking stick---(because he is blameless & a great father) it really doesn't matter according to most TV writers, the general opinion is that he should have beaten the old lady up anyway---or as one person put it, "if you had any balls--you would have hit her"

Is it a possibility (because of things that may have happened) -that she does not want anything to do with him--the 20K was thrown out there anyway, & when it looked like there were going to be negotiations.....she left with nothing anyway. it's wrong, for her to leave, but maybe there's a reason for it. Sometimes it's just too difficult to do the right thing.

When I hear people say things like "it was all his fault" or "she hurt me when she turned on me" I try to imagine what the other person in the story might be saying or thinking. Because nothing is as simple as he said/she said or he did/she did. I had a close friend in Australia , we came home from work one day to find his wife had taken all her things & the 2 children and ran away---of course I was 101% on his side...what a bitch. It was many, many years latter talking to his (then grown) children that I came to understand just what a toll his alcoholism-----(which I thought was just normal Oz drinking) had on that family, how one child still wet the bed every time she heard her father coming home--staggering up the steps trying to get the key in the lock.

It may be a different situation here----but on that one I was very wrong in condemning her.

I read what's being said here, but I also read what isn't. And often, those are the most important words of all..................

Edited February 21, 2016 by oxo1947

[wellred]

Consider this an opportunity for a fresh start.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[thesyndicate]

There is no LAW saying you should pay money to your wife. She can ask for it in court the court could agree to it or not. Do not SIGN ANYTHING without a lawyer present. When you married she IS your wife you have all the right over her and your child. If you want to take your child back you can just take it from her. If ANYBODY else take the child from you it is kidnapping. You or your wife are the ONLY people that can touch your child. Her familly can NOT take the child from you. You have the right over your house if and your property you can sell it and do what ever you want to raise money to find your child. It is your RIGHT to go to Police and report your wife missing and your child missing. You can contact media and the Thai visa with photo and info about your wife missing, make sure you make a report SHE took the child with her and ran away and use it in court. Make sure you do a police report about everything. This will be the only evidence you can use in court. Make sure you have witness and photo, video can NOT be used in Familly court. If you want to settle outside court the Thai law gives you a free prosecuter to talk to your wife. Contact https://www.facebook.com/MissingInez he have all the info about this. Do not wait around for the people on Facebook and Thai visa to give you advice, act now. Go get your chlld back when you married you have the same right as your wife when you divirced you have to trust the courts, but like someone said before Thai courts are good.

[Patsycat]

I know where her father lives ( in bangkok)

And i know where she have land in Petchabum. But i dont have any adress.

I would like to go by myself but i fear of the family as even the grand mother in phuket was aggressif to me when i wanted to take my child. she hit me with a stick on the head,while i was holding my daugther, i have a report from the hospital, but i didn t make a complain at the police station.

If you do not have the balls to resist the grandmother dude forgetting the case.

A decent man should behave as such and not give up her child for the first threat and then come after whining on the forums.

You have not been able to make you love your partner, you do not either make you respect his family able to Give Up your child facing the old and her stick. Frankly to me in any case you're a loser too weak to undertake the difficult path of the reconquest.

The salvation in run away and forgetfulness, the only solution for you in my humble opinion.

Weird google tranlate from whatever language,

[gemguy]

If you can afford to, then use a reliable, certified Private Investigator.

A money related story or money to be paid to her or her family can be used as the means to draw her out while that should work

But remember once you do find her, do you believe the drama will end??

Good luck

Cheers

[sead]

20000, shes fishing for the big fish. Please dont. I promise you she wont be a good girl after you promise her that...

20000 a month is big fish?

She hooked up, had a kid with a falang, probably expecting a income at least twice what she'd get from a thai man.

Falang is now talking about international schools, so she's petrified daughter will grow up and work overseas, she'll lose her daughter in that way....seems understandable

Sorry, but heard this too many times back home, let alone in Thailand. Guy has a kid, then pissed off his life changes, not gettin enough nookie or whatever, surprised how much it costs...like he never gave a moments thought beforehand how much it was going to cost

20000 a month is 500 euros, is that seriously too much to give her to look after the kid, or give it to the granny, or whoever is actually going to look after the kid....geeesh

OP sounds like a cheap charlie

And how old is the OP? Are we talking a 50 year old with a 25 year old (not that theres anything wrong with that ) If so I really dont understand the attitude. Wifey will probably live up to 40 years longer...as the kids only parent

I need to know if you live in Thailand?? Are you seriously believing that if you give a Thai woman 20,000Bht every month. She is going to pay international school for and buy nice clothes for those money!!! Do you seriously believe that he was the one wanting this baby in first place or did she for some reason come up with it. can you guess what reason that would be??

Ofc granny is going to take care. The baby is gonna go in village school. While wife is fishing for next one.

OP, if you can take the baby to you. Hire someone for 9k to babysit the baby at your home until baby starts school. You set up the plans and future . If possible thats the way to go.

Edited February 21, 2016 by sead

[billd766]

Thats why I advocate that for a retirement extension proof should be needed of 800,000 baht for 3 months and a certificate of vasectomy...or just a tattoo in the ear.

Not saying the OP is on a retirement extension but we see these types of posts so many times, usually by a 60 year old bloke who generally will be dead before his kid(s) start high school.

Would you start having kids at an older age in any country?

Yes I know about Rod Stewart and many other millionaires etc etc...but the average punter??

Having said that ----good luck to the OP as he realises his daughter needs both parents in her life, maybe just not at the same time.

Well I did it and our son soon leaves uni, it can be done

Me too and I was sixty when my son was born.

It runs in my family as my Mum was 39 and my Dad was 55 when I was born and that was in 1944.

My parents were married at Holdenhurst Parish Church in Bournemouth on 24th December 1924 and my eldest brother was born in 1926 but died before he was one year old.

That is why people like Mudcrab don't really know what they are talking about. They seem to think that they are experts but have little experience.

[salavan]

this happened to me in a similar way dont give up, dont give money or surrender to any black mail,

learn as much about where the family lives watch and wait i think you will eventually find out where your daughter is being held maybe a thai private detective can help you when you know snatch the kid back as far as i know parental child abduction in thailand is not illegal

[Straight8]

I would side with offering her a monthly payment in exchange for the child. If you give her a big lump sum she might be back with more problems. If she's counting on you for, say, 20k per month, she'll probably behave herself.

Problem is, let face it, that's just the beginning. It's not gonna stop at 20k.

Demands for other things will all of a sudden creep into the equation.

OP, I feel for you. You and many other foreigners here deserve better, but I think you are facing an up hill battle, Seems you will have to come up against the whole family,

Best option I can see is making an offer she can't refuse for total custody. If there is any race that would sell a child for a few baht, its a Thai woman. Then its up to you how you deal with it, but if you were successful and stayed here in the country, that just may not work out well for you.

Unless I'm mistaken and she is a decent person and can see reason, (highly doubtful) and a chance for you to be part of the child life with palm greasing, do whatever it takes legally to get custody and get the eff out of the country.

[Inyourendo]

If you have custody as you say....setup a meeting to give her the 20k...make sure she bring the kid and then just don't let her leave with the child

[steven100]

If you have custody as you say....setup a meeting to give her the 20k...make sure she bring the kid and then just don't let her leave with the child

sounds easy but it won't be I'd say.

You can bet she won't come to any meeting alone ..... and you can bet she won't let him have his daughter, she will only listen if there's money in it for her.

[bark]

Try as hard as you can, but sorry to say you have seen the last of your daughter.

Thai family will hide her from you, and lie to your face that they are unaware of her whereabouts.

Question, where is she getting the money to pay for this medicine every month. Seems like she really wanted to get away from you for some reason. This not not make sense !! Sorry .

[bark]

intelligence: coming to this website with a serious problem and seeking help

She has another guy. Younger and with more money. End of sorry.

[Mudcrab]

There is no LAW saying you should pay money to your wife. She can ask for it in court the court could agree to it or not. Do not SIGN ANYTHING without a lawyer present. When you married she IS your wife you have all the right over her and your child. If you want to take your child back you can just take it from her. If ANYBODY else take the child from you it is kidnapping. You or your wife are the ONLY people that can touch your child. Her familly can NOT take the child from you. You have the right over your house if and your property you can sell it and do what ever you want to raise money to find your child. It is your RIGHT to go to Police and report your wife missing and your child missing. You can contact media and the Thai visa with photo and info about your wife missing, make sure you make a report SHE took the child with her and ran away and use it in court. Make sure you do a police report about everything. This will be the only evidence you can use in court. Make sure you have witness and photo, video can NOT be used in Familly court. If you want to settle outside court the Thai law gives you a free prosecuter to talk to your wife. Contact https://www.facebook.com/MissingInez he have all the info about this. Do not wait around for the people on Facebook and Thai visa to give you advice, act now. Go get your chlld back when you married you have the same right as your wife when you divirced you have to trust the courts, but like someone said before Thai courts are good.

You really need to read the OP again. He isn't married - it is his girlfriend as he mentions.

[sunnyjim5]

thesyndicate

" When you married she IS your wife you have all the right over her and your child. If you want to take your child back you can just take it from her."

Someone needs to teach this misogynist a few facts of life. A woman/wife is not "owned" and nobody has "rights" over her least of all a "husband/boyfriend"

It may need a baseball bat to ensure the message is firmly implanted.

[Mudcrab]

Thats why I advocate that for a retirement extension proof should be needed of 800,000 baht for 3 months and a certificate of vasectomy...or just a tattoo in the ear.

Not saying the OP is on a retirement extension but we see these types of posts so many times, usually by a 60 year old bloke who generally will be dead before his kid(s) start high school.

Would you start having kids at an older age in any country?

Yes I know about Rod Stewart and many other millionaires etc etc...but the average punter??

Having said that ----good luck to the OP as he realises his daughter needs both parents in her life, maybe just not at the same time.

Well I did it and our son soon leaves uni, it can be done

Me too and I was sixty when my son was born.

It runs in my family as my Mum was 39 and my Dad was 55 when I was born and that was in 1944.

My parents were married at Holdenhurst Parish Church in Bournemouth on 24th December 1924 and my eldest brother was born in 1926 but died before he was one year old.

That is why people like Mudcrab don't really know what they are talking about. They seem to think that they are experts but have little experience.

Thanks for the family history.

But how old were you when your dad passed away?

Which is the point that I was making.

We are the only generation that is likely to have a shorter lifespan than our parents regardless of the current life expectancy of children born today.

Older men can still father children - that is obvious - but is it really the right thing to do, particularly if you already have grown up children and possibly grandchildren from earlier in life?

Of course there are wonderful success stories such as yours and Billd, but I think they are in the minority.

I honestly don't think too many blokes who have a kid at 60 will see them graduate from university at 21 or 22 years old.

I never claimed to be an expert but I do have powers of observation that I use.

From what I have seen in Thailand over time it is often a misplaced sense of loyalty, or blinded by love, to a younger woman who actually wants a child with little thought of the yet to be born child his/herself.

I'll buy a car darling, a house darling...yes we'll have a baby darling. Kids aren't property to be used to barter for affection.

My brother turns 65 next month and has a five year old. I feel sorry for my little niece as undoubtedly she will grow up without a father, sooner rather than later.

[Inyourendo]

Thats why I advocate that for a retirement extension proof should be needed of 800,000 baht for 3 months and a certificate of vasectomy...or just a tattoo in the ear.

Not saying the OP is on a retirement extension but we see these types of posts so many times, usually by a 60 year old bloke who generally will be dead before his kid(s) start high school.

Would you start having kids at an older age in any country?

Yes I know about Rod Stewart and many other millionaires etc etc...but the average punter??

Having said that ----good luck to the OP as he realises his daughter needs both parents in her life, maybe just not at the same time.

Well I did it and our son soon leaves uni, it can be done

Me too and I was sixty when my son was born.

It runs in my family as my Mum was 39 and my Dad was 55 when I was born and that was in 1944.

My parents were married at Holdenhurst Parish Church in Bournemouth on 24th December 1924 and my eldest brother was born in 1926 but died before he was one year old.

That is why people like Mudcrab don't really know what they are talking about. They seem to think that they are experts but have little experience.

Thanks for the family history.

But how old were you when your dad passed away?

Which is the point that I was making.

We are the only generation that is likely to have a shorter lifespan than our parents regardless of the current life expectancy of children born today.

Older men can still father children - that is obvious - but is it really the right thing to do, particularly if you already have grown up children and possibly grandchildren from earlier in life?

Of course there are wonderful success stories such as yours and Billd, but I think they are in the minority.

I honestly don't think too many blokes who have a kid at 60 will see them graduate from university at 21 or 22 years old.

I never claimed to be an expert but I do have powers of observation that I use.

From what I have seen in Thailand over time it is often a misplaced sense of loyalty, or blinded by love, to a younger woman who actually wants a child with little thought of the yet to be born child his/herself.

I'll buy a car darling, a house darling...yes we'll have a baby darling. Kids aren't property to be used to barter for affection.

My brother turns 65 next month and has a five year old. I feel sorry for my little niece as undoubtedly she will grow up without a father, sooner rather than later.

Hoping your brother dies sooner than later....nasty....is he wealthy ?

[flyingdoc]

Good luck !

[meatboy]

intelligence: coming to this website with a serious problem and seeking help

She has another guy. Younger and with more money. End of sorry.

this is more than likely,but with a family like her's i would tread VERY CAREFULLY. if you value your life.

seems you dont know much about family value's here in thailand.

[uthaithanirules]

20000, shes fishing for the big fish. Please dont. I promise you she wont be a good girl after you promise her that...

20000 a month is big fish?

She hooked up, had a kid with a falang, probably expecting a income at least twice what she'd get from a thai man.

Falang is now talking about international schools, so she's petrified daughter will grow up and work overseas, she'll lose her daughter in that way....seems understandable

Sorry, but heard this too many times back home, let alone in Thailand. Guy has a kid, then pissed off his life changes, not gettin enough nookie or whatever, surprised how much it costs...like he never gave a moments thought beforehand how much it was going to cost

20000 a month is 500 euros, is that seriously too much to give her to look after the kid, or give it to the granny, or whoever is actually going to look after the kid....geeesh

OP sounds like a cheap charlie

And how old is the OP? Are we talking a 50 year old with a 25 year old (not that theres anything wrong with that ) If so I really dont understand the attitude. Wifey will probably live up to 40 years longer...as the kids only parent

I need to know if you live in Thailand?? Are you seriously believing that if you give a Thai woman 20,000Bht every month. She is going to pay international school for and buy nice clothes for those money!!! Do you seriously believe that he was the one wanting this baby in first place or did she for some reason come up with it. can you guess what reason that would be??

Ofc granny is going to take care. The baby is gonna go in village school. While wife is fishing for next one.

OP, if you can take the baby to you. Hire someone for 9k to babysit the baby at your home until baby starts school. You set up the plans and future . If possible thats the way to go.

Wow, you dont think that kind of attitude is why you/these guys get into this kind of situation in the first place

[FritsSikkink]

I know where her father lives ( in bangkok)

And i know where she have land in Petchabum. But i dont have any adress.

I would like to go by myself but i fear of the family as even the grand mother in phuket was aggressif to me when i wanted to take my child. she hit me with a stick on the head,while i was holding my daugther, i have a report from the hospital, but i didn t make a complain at the police station.

should have punched her lights out. they think you are a walkover (me too). get a lawyer