Wife transferring my money

[prestburypark]

Shame, sad story. A really respectable lady we know, married to a US citizen for 20+ years was paid well to manage a friends property, two house rentals.

She pocketed the money whilst attending, or even over-attending a Wat and showing how pious she was.

The husband , over 70 now, has no idea his wife is a fraudster and his friends don't want to break his heart by telling him of his wife's malfeasance.

Only in Thailand, well no, but the most unlikely people seem to be light -fingered, at the drop of a hat and with zero remorse too, may I add.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

I hope I'm not boring people with what is probably a common story.

When confronted, should told me that she had lost the money gambling, I knew this wasn't true, she values money and wouldn't waste it like that, then it was she transferred the money to her Thai account as she was worried for her future and felt she needed a nest egg. I don't yet have that and will need to work for the next 10 yrs. For some reason that didn't ring true either, so talked with her again today and she told me that she transferred the money to her mothers account so that some repairs could be done to the family home and an extension to her brothers shop.

Financially, we had a reasonable 2015, during our annual holiday last Sept to Thailand we decided we could afford to give her Mum & Dad a gift of B50,000 and also bought the family a large flat screen TV, this is above what we normally would give them annually. We also pay for her brother's pick up, bought on the deal that was offered by the government 3 or 4 years ago, this is B10,000 / mth. This was bought to help him with his shop.

I really feel we are doing our bit to help but why are these people so greedy !! And why is she so influenced by them ?

By and large she's a really good girl, my friends and family like her very much and I love her but I'm from Aberdeen, where money and trust is very important. So where we are now is that I've said B300,000 buys a lot of building work in the village and I need them to return half the money and have given them 2 weeks to do so. If not, with the way I'm feeling at the moment then she can join them.

Thanks for all the replies

You are wimping already.

Helping brother, mother.... Yearly gifts and it's obviously not enough.

To be honest, I was hoping that you were just a bad guy holding your wife on a leash and that's how she reacted. Obviously that's not the case.

Who cares if your friends like her. They don't have to live with a thief.

I would show her the door.

[meatboy]

Thanks all,

Looks like I'll need to put her on a plane to Bangkok and see if she comes back with the money !!

dont you mean put her on the next plane and make sure she DONT COME BACK.

count yourself lucky you found out now,and not when she's taken everything.

go see a divorce lawyer NOW.

NEVER MIND HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ONCE A THIEF ALWAYS A THIEF.

good luck.

a call to the home office might help.

[davetrout]

hook her acc up to internet banking

[meatboy]

I hope I'm not boring people with what is probably a common story.

When confronted, should told me that she had lost the money gambling, I knew this wasn't true, she values money and wouldn't waste it like that, then it was she transferred the money to her Thai account as she was worried for her future and felt she needed a nest egg. I don't yet have that and will need to work for the next 10 yrs. For some reason that didn't ring true either, so talked with her again today and she told me that she transferred the money to her mothers account so that some repairs could be done to the family home and an extension to her brothers shop.

Financially, we had a reasonable 2015, during our annual holiday last Sept to Thailand we decided we could afford to give her Mum & Dad a gift of B50,000 and also bought the family a large flat screen TV, this is above what we normally would give them annually. We also pay for her brother's pick up, bought on the deal that was offered by the government 3 or 4 years ago, this is B10,000 / mth. This was bought to help him with his shop.

I really feel we are doing our bit to help but why are these people so greedy !! And why is she so influenced by them ?

By and large she's a really good girl, my friends and family like her very much and I love her but I'm from Aberdeen, where money and trust is very important. So where we are now is that I've said B300,000 buys a lot of building work in the village and I need them to return half the money and have given them 2 weeks to do so. If not, with the way I'm feeling at the moment then she can join them.

Thanks for all the replies

paid for her brother's pick up eh.we all now about the BROTHER.

[AlexRRR]

If you don't trust her get rid of her, enough on what to do with the account but getting your money if it's your money returned she's working she can give it back to you in cash per week until it's paid off, me I would be worried about property laws in case of separation and divorce, you need a good plan and fast if she's evil and milking you already I'm sure she has ideas on what she can get in divorce.

[HooHaa]

SCB not SCM, Standard Chartered Bank.

SCB stands for Siam Commercial Bank.

im amused by people offering advice on this site without even a basic grasp of the facts.

[chiang mai]

SCB not SCM, Standard Chartered Bank.

SCB stands for Siam Commercial Bank.

im amused by people offering advice on this site without even a basic grasp of the facts.

Then amuse yourself with these basic facts:

Post 13 reads:

"Major thai banks have London branches at least Bangkokbank and SCB do.....".

In fact Siam Commercial Bank does not have a UK branch of any sort, in fact, 99.9% of people in the UK have never heard of Siam Commercial Bank.

The abbreviation SCB in Asia is known as Siam Commercial Bank, in the UK and Europe it is known as Standard Chartered Bank.

As a one time employee of Standard Chartered Bank in Hong Kong the issue of correct recognition of our UK brand in Asia was frequently a hot topic.

"SCB is an acronym for:

Banks

• Standard Chartered Bank, a British bank headquartered in London
• Siam Commercial Bank, a commercial bank headquartered in Bangkok, Thailand
• Shanghai Commercial Bank, a commercial bank headquartered in Hong Kong"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SCB

Edited March 10, 2016 by chiang mai

[tomwct]

Get Rid of Her! Cut your losses now because she will continue screwing and lying to you! Put her on a plane!

[gandalf12]

Presumably you both had signing rights to your account. In this case there is nothing you can do. She had the authority to withdraw / transfer money. If she didn't have the right to access the account then you can prosecute her.

I had a similar experience with my ex wife many years ago. She took all the money and I tried to get it back but was told she had drawing rights on the account so nothing could be done.

What I would suggest is that you open a new account just in your name and transfer the rest to it.

Edited March 10, 2016 by gandalf12

[Thongkorn]

If my wife did anything like this. ie deception or lie. She would be my ex.

[keeniau96]

In the USA no way could you prosecute her, maybe different in the UK. You need to set up your own individual account, maybe keeping the joint one for her to dip into.

[billd766]

giving access to personal accounts is a silly thing to do IMO

I had a joint account/credit cards in the UK with my first UK wife until we divorced.

Now I do the same thing in Thailand with my second (Thai) wife.

When we were coming up for the divorce in the UK a fair bit of ours funds disappeared.

It hasn't happened in Thailand though.

So which wife should I have trusted?

[gandalf12]

In the USA no way could you prosecute her, maybe different in the UK. You need to set up your own individual account, maybe keeping the joint one for her to dip into.

Same in the UK if it is a joint account with either party having signing rights there is nothing you can do. I dont know of any country that is any different either

[chickenslegs]

Presumably you both had signing rights to your account. In this case there is nothing you can do. She had the authority to withdraw / transfer money. If she didn't have the right to access the account then you can prosecute her.

I had a similar experience with my ex wife many years ago. She took all the money and I tried to get it back but was told she had drawing rights on the account so nothing could be done.

What I would suggest is that you open a new account just in your name and transfer the rest to it.

In the USA no way could you prosecute her, maybe different in the UK. You need to set up your own individual account, maybe keeping the joint one for her to dip into.

The OP has already said that it was his individual account and she used his ATM card without his knowledge. (post #23)

[stephenterry]

Sad story. The money is not as significant as how your wife treated you. She's a liar, a thief, and thinks you're a stupid farang, and doesn't care a jot . Don't waste your time with her. But take care she doesn't fleece you more by divorcing you.

[chickenslegs]

FWIW - my opinion.

1. Stop all payments to family in Thailand.

2. Insist that the money is paid back to you from your wife's wages in the UK.

3. Once the money has been returned, show her the door.

[GuestHouse]

Did she tell you what the money was for?

You're right, this is a trust issue, but it would make a difference if she was sending money home to pay the mother's hospital bill, or giving it to her "brother" to build a house for him and her to live in.

That's the slippery slope of 'trading morality' that underpins so much of what is wrong with Thailand.

Its the excuse given for theft/backhanders/corruption and is aimed at negating the point that the theft/backhanders/corruption is in and of itself wrong.

We often see threads along the lines of 'you know you've been in Thailand too long when.....'

Well Berkshire, while I agree with many of your posts, on this matter off offering the 'traded morality excuse' you have been in Thailand too long.

[manarak]

giving access to personal accounts is a silly thing to do IMO

I had a joint account/credit cards in the UK with my first UK wife until we divorced.

Now I do the same thing in Thailand with my second (Thai) wife.

When we were coming up for the divorce in the UK a fair bit of ours funds disappeared.

It hasn't happened in Thailand though.

So which wife should I have trusted?

none!

joint account is fine as long as it serves to finance daily life and your wealth is kept in separate accounts, that's what I meant with "personal accounts"

[Baerboxer]

So.........would you define that as stealing?

And there's probably not much she can do from the UK unless she has internet banking. Even then it's probably a slim chance she can do an international transfer.

However - I'm sure she has someone in Thailand that can access the money, assuming it ain't been spent yet.

Thai banks usually respond to instructions by fax. She could speak to the bank first and get all the details and then confirm instructions by fax.

The money would be subject to current exchange rates plus whatever the bank charges on top plus any bank fees.

Wonder how she got access to his account in the UK? Or is it a joint a/c. Most who are married to Thais find out pretty quickly they are like children when it comes to money. Just want to spend it on what they want without any thought, responsibility or accountability. Most I know keep minimal amounts in their joint a/c for that reason.

[Baerboxer]

So.........would you define that as stealing?

And there's probably not much she can do from the UK unless she has internet banking. Even then it's probably a slim chance she can do an international transfer.

However - I'm sure she has someone in Thailand that can access the money, assuming it ain't been spent yet.

Thai banks usually respond to instructions by fax. She could speak to the bank first and get all the details and then confirm instructions by fax.

The money would be subject to current exchange rates plus whatever the bank charges on top plus any bank fees.

Wonder how she got access to his account in the UK? Or is it a joint a/c. Most who are married to Thais find out pretty quickly they are like children when it comes to money. Just want to spend it on what they want without any thought, responsibility or accountability. Most I know keep minimal amounts in their joint a/c for that reason.

[recycler]

Did you forget to pay for her services?

[davidstipek]

Major thai banks have London branches at least Bangkokbank and SCM do.........

You and your wife with passbook and passport could visit.....

The Bangkok bank in London does not offer a retail banking service. Never heard of the SCM bank .............

If she has an account number (like Bangkok Bank) She CAN transfer, have your Bank transfer to London's Bangkok Bank! Even though it is not actually open for retail services... THEY DO ACCEPT BANK TRANSFERS AND DEPOSITS TO LEGIT BANGKOK used for INTERNATIONAL (To and from Thailand)

ACCOUNTS! This is how example retirement funds are deposited and transfered here! They key in transfer... As soon as they click enter... It is here!! I do this all the time and transfer from Thailand to US Bank to pay taxes and major Bills (depending the amount fee is usually around 200 baht) An option for you to raise security would be to require your Bank to get both of your signatures... Or from ATM a second password, this you could keep to yourself. Can be used for International transfers or withdrawals over a certain level... Doing this would not raise suspicions from her! Can be explained as added securities because of International Hacking of Major Companies added by your Bank!

Edited March 10, 2016 by davidstipek

[chiang mai]

Major thai banks have London branches at least Bangkokbank and SCM do.........

You and your wife with passbook and passport could visit.....

The Bangkok bank in London does not offer a retail banking service. Never heard of the SCM bank .............

If she has an account number (like Bangkok Bank) She CAN transfer, have your Bank transfer to London's Bangkok Bank! Even though it is not actually open for retail services... THEY DO ACCEPT BANK TRANSFERS AND DEPOSITS TO LEGIT BANGKOK BANK ACCOUNTS! This is how example retirement funds are deposited and transfered here! They key in transfer... As soon as they click enter... It is here!! I do this all the time and transfer from Thailand to US Bank to pay taxes and major Bills (depending the amount fee is usually around 200 baht)

This discussion is about transfers from Thailand back to the UK, BBL London cannot be used for that purpose.

Edited March 10, 2016 by chiang mai

[al007]

How is the Thai wife gaining access to your account ?

If you gave your wife PIN numbers etc then change them.

If you have a joint account then open another account in your name only and keep all PIN numbers etc secret.

Explain to the bank about your reason(s) for wanting the new account and request (in writing) that the joint account not be allowed to be overdrawn

You cannot arrange for the money transferred to be returned but you could report a crime if one has been committed.

I am pretty sure under UK law it is not a crime to take from a legal spouse

If you have a thai bank account get her to do a letter requesting monies transferred to your account and send it yourself recorded

Also get her to phone her branch and ask them how to remedy the mistake

It is however all relative, and if all else ok and relationship otherwise good then go slowly

Many many thai women have awful financial messes, and families make it worse for them

Good luck and be kind

[davidstipek]

Major thai banks have London branches at least Bangkokbank and SCM do.........

You and your wife with passbook and passport could visit.....

The Bangkok bank in London does not offer a retail banking service. Never heard of the SCM bank .............

If she has an account number (like Bangkok Bank) She CAN transfer, have your Bank transfer to London's Bangkok Bank! Even though it is not actually open for retail services... THEY DO ACCEPT BANK TRANSFERS AND DEPOSITS TO LEGIT BANGKOK BANK ACCOUNTS! This is how example retirement funds are deposited and transfered here! They key in transfer... As soon as they click enter... It is here!! I do this all the time and transfer from Thailand to US Bank to pay taxes and major Bills (depending the amount fee is usually around 200 baht)

This discussion is about transfers from Thailand back to the UK, BBL London cannot be used for that purpose.

Yes it can, I just did it! I believe he is in UK and money is being sent to Thailand. Why else would she be doing WIRE TRANSFERS!Go back and read his post again! Both him and his wife live and work in UK. His Bank will transfer to Bangkok Bank, using their routing number (same as here) to the earmarked account. This is why fee charged by Bangkok Bank is so low... It is not classified as an International Transfer of funds. As soon as it is sent to routing number/and account... It is in Thailand! Wonderful mysteries of computers!! Edited March 10, 2016 by davidstipek

[xerostar]

Report it to the British police as theft.

She will be arrested, convicted, and deported back to Thailand.

Or,

Forget about it, but be more careful what you give her access to in future.

Remember,

At some point in time, she will be entitled to your home and pension.

I lost a few thousand dollars cash (Australia) - my ex-wife came to visit me with our daughter.

She took my cash without my knowledge.

When I discovered it was missing she admitted stealing it but refused to give it back.

She had already taken to her sister's house.

I went to the police to report the theft.

They said they wouldn't do anything because it was a domestic matter.

Because she was a guest in my house, they don't get involved in such matters.

I figured she was desperate, so I just let it go.

[Straight8]

I hope I'm not boring people with what is probably a common story.

When confronted, should told me that she had lost the money gambling, I knew this wasn't true, she values money and wouldn't waste it like that, then it was she transferred the money to her Thai account as she was worried for her future and felt she needed a nest egg. I don't yet have that and will need to work for the next 10 yrs. For some reason that didn't ring true either, so talked with her again today and she told me that she transferred the money to her mothers account so that some repairs could be done to the family home and an extension to her brothers shop.

Financially, we had a reasonable 2015, during our annual holiday last Sept to Thailand we decided we could afford to give her Mum & Dad a gift of B50,000 and also bought the family a large flat screen TV, this is above what we normally would give them annually. We also pay for her brother's pick up, bought on the deal that was offered by the government 3 or 4 years ago, this is B10,000 / mth. This was bought to help him with his shop.

I really feel we are doing our bit to help but why are these people so greedy !! And why is she so influenced by them ?

By and large she's a really good girl, my friends and family like her very much and I love her but I'm from Aberdeen, where money and trust is very important. So where we are now is that I've said B300,000 buys a lot of building work in the village and I need them to return half the money and have given them 2 weeks to do so. If not, with the way I'm feeling at the moment then she can join them.

Thanks for all the replies

You are wimping already.

Helping brother, mother.... Yearly gifts and it's obviously not enough.

To be honest, I was hoping that you were just a bad guy holding your wife on a leash and that's how she reacted. Obviously that's not the case.

Who cares if your friends like her. They don't have to live with a thief.

I would show her the door.

she's also a stinkin liar.

OP, cut your losses and move on. This person has no love or respect for you & I bet you start to uncover some more of her "handy" work.

If you think she's only nicked 6,000 quid from u in the entire time, think again. I doubt this is the first time.

[gandalf12]

You can prosecute a spouse in the UK for taking money out of a joint account???

Not if she has drawing rights which she will have

[davidstipek]

This is how I get paid for sales of Custom Motorcycles build orders. Also how I pay for Stock when I order components.. Wire Transfers!!

Have been doing this for 12 years!

Works Both ways because Bangkok Bank has both a Routing Number and a Swift Number. If your Bank transfers to either it goes to the closest Bangkok Bank OFFICE, THERE IT IS RECEIVED. No delay in money to or from Thailand. When they key in the information it is here or there!

Edited March 10, 2016 by davidstipek