This has been doing the rounds on the emails so maybe you seen it already but i likd it:

A guy is driving around Dublin when he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yes," the Lab replies.

"So, what's the story?"

The Lab looks up and says: "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the Garda about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a load of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten Euro," the man says.

"Ten Euro? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a fekkin liar. He never did any of that <deleted>"

I love it, fantastic, best joke I have heard in ages! Really did laugh out loud...

Great joke. do you know the one about a man walks into a pub and in the corner there's a group of fellas playing poker, he notices there's a dog at the table and the fellas are dealing the dog in. the man is curious and goes over to the table and asks one of the fellas "are you dealing that dog in on the game?" the fella looks at him and says gruffly "yeh, what about it?"

"well thats a really clever dog" says the man

"he's not that clever" replies the fella "everytime he gets a good hand he wags his tail."

Great joke. do you know the one about a man walks into a pub and in the corner there's a group of fellas playing poker, he notices there's a dog at the table and the fellas are dealing the dog in. the man is curious and goes over to the table and asks one of the fellas "are you dealing that dog in on the game?" the fella looks at him and says gruffly "yeh, what about it?"

"well thats a really clever dog" says the man

"he's not that clever" replies the fella "everytime he gets a good hand he wags his tail."