Heather Mills-McCartney

[george]

Subject: Fw: Terrible

Worth a read, pretty sad.

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped"

"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk out on a relationship like this"

After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.

It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on.

Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over".

Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at night and find her legless"

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.

A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I'm f---ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul McCartney"

Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:

I lay upon a grassy bank

My hands were all a quiver

I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river

These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now

she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill

her shoe.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

His pet name for her was Eileen

[jayenram]

An old Peter Cook/Dudley Moore sketch.

Your right leg is fine. I've nothing against your right leg. Unfortunately, neither have you.

[farangconnection]

They always used to say " Paul McCartny was a legend ion the making"

[taxexile]

apparently he was violent towards her .... he socked her one.

[davidjtayler]

Mind you, at least she's sticking around for the divorce .. she could have done a runner ...!

Personally I think her argument is a bit lopsided ... I think she's put her foot in her mouth ...

[Tornado]

His pet name for her was Eileen

Her actual name before Mills was Dover. She also has two brothers, Ben, Neil and also the family dog, Run.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Mind you, at least she's sticking around for the divorce .. she could have done a runner ...!

Personally I think her argument is a bit lopsided ... I think she's put her foot in her mouth ...

She hasn't got a leg to stand on.

[davidjtayler]

Mind you, at least she's sticking around for the divorce .. she could have done a runner ...!

Personally I think her argument is a bit lopsided ... I think she's put her foot in her mouth ...

She hasn't got a leg to stand on.

Your right Doc ... she's got to put her foot down now or she's going to be stumped in the courtroom ...