pumpkin_pie Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 One has to known that Thai love to get. And believe that God put them on earth to get more from Farangs. So just give and be happy to make them happy. :D :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roguegirl Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 (edited) Poor you...! If you ask me... I would tell you that you got the wrong woman. You probably married her out of pity and she, out of the potential wealth you have. Seems like she is in it so you can help feed the entire country... Plenty of you guys are into it that way, so it seems. So, you are not the only one, definitely not the first and wouldn't be the last. Just bear with it then. Keeping giving... Edited November 7, 2006 by roguegirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuck6660 Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 I haveta agree with those that say to not expect gratitude or thank yous for assistance that you may have given to the wifes family. I have given pretty much all that I have to my wife's family...not much else to do with the dosh otherwise. There has been a perceptible improvement in the families standard of living...they no longer eke out a meager existence as rice farmers, the extra money has allowed them the flexibility to drop that and find other more reliable work in construction instead...nobody ever worries about medical or school expenses. My wife is very resourseful and has used the money that I have given her wisely. in return (I suppose) when I am at home I am not allowed to lift a finger for anything...the kids and womenfolk take care of any need/whim...I only have to think about something that I want and it appears on the kitchen table the next minute....roast chicken, sliced mangoes and watermelon, steamed shrimp...I feel like the old prospector in Treasure of the Sierra Madre... displays of gratitude are unusual in Asia...kick back and enjoy what's available instead... See, that's what I'm talking about! My wife's family is the same. You can choose to fence yourself off, or you can choose to become part of the extended family. I wish more farang would choose the latter and see how little hoarding their wealth benefits them compared to the experience of belonging to a Thai family. I'm not rich enough to provide for everything they need, but I have improved their lives a little and taken away the worries about medical or school expenses. They know that the family will help (and is able to help) if needed. MY experience has been the same. My wife has always said that family is #1, We bought a house in BKK in which her mother and young sisiter live. Whenever we are in BKK my wife and I are treated like royalty. They may never say "Thank You"; however everytime my wife talks with them they tell her what a great man I am. Everyone in our neighborhood in BKK knows who I am, and all treat me with respect, as I do them. Because I treat them with respect and help them whenever I can, I know that my wifes family will always stand-by me. That is all the gratitude I need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sting01 Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 I have no reason to send her family money, im my own man and not pussy whipped. Does it mean you are gay or into Kathoey? Sorry I am not fluent in english and I am having hard to get your point my lad ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sting01 Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 Because I treat them with respect and help them whenever I can, I know that my wifes family will always stand-by me. That is all the gratitude I need. How many thai ladies did oyu marry? Did oyu bought houses for every familly or only for the main spouse familly? Can I easily marry several thai ladies on the same thai (I ask as oyu seems to be a specialist in at least bigamy, maybe multigamy(?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donz Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 I have no reason to send her family money, im my own man and not pussy whipped. Does it mean you are gay or into Kathoey? Sorry I am not fluent in english and I am having hard to get your point my lad ... No it means im a real man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkmadness Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 (edited) Because I treat them with respect and help them whenever I can, I know that my wifes family will always stand-by me. That is all the gratitude I need. How many thai ladies did oyu marry? Did oyu bought houses for every familly or only for the main spouse familly? Can I easily marry several thai ladies on the same thai (I ask as oyu seems to be a specialist in at least bigamy, maybe multigamy(?) I think it was a spelling mistake. I bet his name's not 'Oyu' either. Edited November 7, 2006 by bkkmadness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a2396 Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 I have no reason to send her family money, im my own man and not pussy whipped. If I recall correctly, you recently bragged about how much you spent on your wedding and that your wife's family has given you money. You are fortunate to enjoy such a reverse flow of wealth. I don't think I would accuse all those who give their Thai families money of being "pussy whipped" as you call them. Some may not see it quite this way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark henry Posted November 7, 2006 Author Share Posted November 7, 2006 Poor you...!If you ask me... I would tell you that you got the wrong woman. You probably married her out of pity and she, out of the potential wealth you have. Seems like she is in it so you can help feed the entire country... Plenty of you guys are into it that way, so it seems. So, you are not the only one, definitely not the first and wouldn't be the last. Just bear with it then. Keeping giving... Your so sweet, thankyou, sympathy at last! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roguegirl Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 (edited) Poor you...! If you ask me... I would tell you that you got the wrong woman. You probably married her out of pity and she, out of the potential wealth you have. Seems like she is in it so you can help feed the entire country... Plenty of you guys are into it that way, so it seems. So, you are not the only one, definitely not the first and wouldn't be the last. Just bear with it then. Keeping giving... Your so sweet, thankyou, sympathy at last! The way I see it, you jump into the marriage wagon before learning about the culture bit. As an Asian, I dare say that, even among my tribemen it is not traditionally common for us to SAY our thanks BUT to SHOW it. I have always thought that it was exclusively our tribe's attribute/trait but it seems that some other Asian community also carries the same attribute/trait. As a matter of fact, people of my tribe actually do not have a word to denote "thank you" but the one we have and use today is borrowed from another ethnic. So, for your extended family to not say their thanks... Accept it as it is their culture. I bet many Asians thinks about the oddity of western culture too! Like wearing their shoes in their home, for example. As for giving money to them... you don't actually have to do so on a monthly basis. Give when there is an occasion to give. If they are farmers and are still able to work, the best thing you should do is to buy for them something they can use in their farm. Let say... a small tractor. The best thing to do, so as not to "give a fish" but "to teach them to fish", is to provide a venue for them to uplift themselves from their "slum" status. You could also send the older sister(s) for retraining or further their studies if they should want to...for example. It would not be good for you to actually "spoon feed" your extended family. It is better to actually HELP them to help themselves. THIS is actually considered as filial piety. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_piety As people who still hold on to community living, an able person has the duty to care for their family. Priority should go to the closest first. Never feel obligated to say "yes" if distant relatives were the ones asking for financial help. Your first duty is TO HELP your wife to care for her family. It is the manner and the nature of help that matters. My point of view after reading two thread you started. Then again, I still believe that you should look deeper into the reason why you married her and she, you. Edited November 8, 2006 by roguegirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Livinginexile Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 MY experience has been the same. My wife has always said that family is #1, We bought a house in BKK in which her mother and young sisiter live. Whenever we are in BKK my wife and I are treated like royalty. They may never say "Thank You"; however everytime my wife talks with them they tell her what a great man I am. Everyone in our neighborhood in BKK knows who I am, and all treat me with respect, as I do them. Because I treat them with respect and help them whenever I can, I know that my wifes family will always stand-by me. That is all the gratitude I need. Ahh yes....LOS....the best love money can buy. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donz Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 I have no reason to send her family money, im my own man and not pussy whipped. If I recall correctly, you recently bragged about how much you spent on your wedding and that your wife's family has given you money. You are fortunate to enjoy such a reverse flow of wealth. I don't think I would accuse all those who give their Thai families money of being "pussy whipped" as you call them. Some may not see it quite this way. Maybe, but most are. Some might just come up with a different way of seeing it to make themselves feel better. And Im not married yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fun2Fun Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 If its ok to give the familly money is a subject which can be discussed to bits But in this case there is the wifes daughter to consider, when the op married her mother the daughter is part and parcel of the deal. (It does not really mather if he is the biological father or not) And i would guess most posters here would deem it ok to help their own daughter/step-daughter in a simular situation too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now