Pub Songs

[Stan42]

So I live in a soi with a lot of pubs and bars. But yesterday I walked past one full of Brits and got a load of the "Rugby Anthem". I laughed so hard I just had to look it up online. This is every single line I could find. Dear ladies, how do you react to a bunch of drunk guys singing this?

I Used to Work in Chicago

Structure: Open with Chorus. Insert Chorus after every two verses. Add your own verses.

(Chorus)

Oh I used to work in Chicago in an old department store
I used to work in Chicago but I don't work there anymore!

(Verses)

A woman came into the store one day asking for some velvet.
Some velvet she wanted?
Felt she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for Beefeater Gin.
Beefeater Gin she wanted?
Eat her I did!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a cucumber.
A cucumber she wanted?
My pickle she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a door.
A door she wanted?
Slammed she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for ground coffee.
Ground coffee she wanted?
Grind her I did!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a Mexican gardener.
A Mexican gardener she wanted?
A dirty Sanchez she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for brass taps.
Brass taps she wanted?
A golden shower she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for liquor.
Liquor she wanted?
Lick her I did!

A woman came into the store one day asking for an application.
An application she wanted?
Filled out she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a hammer.
A hammer she wanted?
Nailed she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some sailors.
Some sailors she wanted?
Semen she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for the elevator.
The elevator she wanted?
My shaft she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for an oriental looking device.
An oriental looking device she wanted?
My Japs eye she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some fireworks.
Some fireworks she wanted?
Banged she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for butter.
Butter she wanted?
Spread she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some poultry.
Some poultry she wanted?
My cock she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a ruler.
A ruler she wanted?
12 Inches she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for seafood.
Seafood she wanted?
Crabs she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some quick service.
Quick service she wanted?
Quickly serviced she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a pizza delivery.
A pizza delivery she wanted?
The backdoor delivery she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some bolts.
Some bolts she wanted?
My nuts she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a hand.
A hand she wanted?
Fisted she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a Big Mac.
A Big Mac she wanted?
My Whopper she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a translator.
A translator she wanted?
My cunning-linguist she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for an egg.
An egg she wanted?
Laid she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some Shakespeare
Shakespeare she wanted?
Dickens she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for dinner.
Dinner she wanted?
Ate out she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a board.
A board she wanted?
Nailed she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a tire.
A tire she wanted?
Rimmed she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a lollipop.
A lollipop she wanted?
Licked she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a piano.
A piano she wanted?
My organ she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a truck.
A truck she wanted?
Rammed she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some Sprite
Sprite she wanted?
7-Ups she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some turkey
Some turkey she wanted?
Stuffed she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some toilet paper.
Toilet paper she wanted?
Dumped she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some rubber.
Rubber she wanted?
Rub her I did!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a dirty carpet.
A dirty carpet she wanted?
A rough shag she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a lady train.
A lady train she wanted?
A miscarriage she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a flag.
A flag she wanted?
My pole she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some jewelry
Jewelry she wanted?
A pearl necklace she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for for a camel.
A camel she wanted?
Humped she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a KitKat.
A KitKat she wanted?
Four fingers she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some help.
Some help she wanted?
AIDS she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some doughnuts.
Some doughnuts she wanted?
Cream filled she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for a floppy disk
A floppy disk she wanted?
My hard drive she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some Pringles.
Pringles she wanted?
The pop she got!

A woman came into the store one day asking for some meat.
Some meat she wanted?
Porked she got!

(Final verse)

A woman came into the store one day asking to have sex with me.

Sex with you she wanted?

In Chicago in an old department store I no longer work!

[bannork]

A perfect example of why so many Brits flee their shores.

[sipi]

An English Pub..