is Thailand a good place to find true love?

[12DrinkMore]

I largely rebuilt , modernised and furnished my wife's house as a gentleman's residence .

You mean, you remodeled to have an indoor toilet???

It's a euphemism for local whore house.

[little mary sunshine]

Absolutely, and to make sure it is true love

Buy the house and car in your Thai Wife's

Name, and a big gold chain and ring for

Her on your 6th month Anniversary .

[mesterm]

Sadly, there also seem to be many Thais who are not interested in learning about anything outside of their Thai bubble.

My most intellectual and stimulating conversations are with myself

You want true love with a woman that thinks beyond the bubble, OP?

You're going to have to look very hard.

But if you're willing to accept someone who doesn't look all that much, there are lots of very intelligent graduate women in Bangkok. Most have massive egos/attitudes to go with that intelligence, and some don't.

You're still going to have to look very hard.

[elgordo38]

To be or not to be that is the question. Looking back over life finding true love is like winning a lottery. After you find "true love" the hard part really starts. Its that day to day commitment thing pops up after the racing heart slows down a bit and the desire to tear each others clothes off resides a bit. Its the love lasting over decades that counts otherwise the average male falls in love every 5 minutes. The answer to your question is yes its here but it takes lots of luck and hard work to find it.

[elgordo38]

Learning to speak Thai will help as you are living in Thailand! I have many friends happily married to bar girls and my wife of 7 years I met in a GO GO bar.

Glad to see you made a GO of things.

[elgordo38]

Although I am happily married to a Thai-woman, I would have to say "No"... it is not easy to find true love in Thailand.

I think your problem is that you are spending too much energy looking for it. Why not just live life... date loads of girls (thats easy here) and one day you will meet the right one.

Besides that, I think you should be aware that being married to a Thai-woman is a challenge of its own. You will experience MANY misunderstandings due to cultural and language differences etc. But if you are lucky and find a Thai-woman that is decent, hard-working and not a gold-digger, then you will have a very rewarding relationship and fantastic wife.

A Tip: Try to find someone close to your own age and make it clear from the start, what she can expect from you and what you are not willing to do (e.g. support her entire family in the village). If you are very clear from the start, you will have much better changes of success.

Good luck!

The key words are make it clear from the start. Don't make a bunch of unrealistic promises just to corral her. They will come back to haunt you.

[elgordo38]

I speak good Thai, read and write as well. That helps me to converse well in Thai language with women from all levels of society, education etc.

After many years living in Thailand and meeting many Thai women, I find close to 100% of them have nothing between their ears And that is the same for Thai men...

It is not their fault that they don't know the capital city of Venezuela, or have knowledge about world politics. The ruling classes in Thailand and the educational system have gone a long way (for generations) to ensure that the vast majority of Thais are 'isolated' from information that we take for granted, (unless they go abroad for study/work).

Happily, social media is changing all that and it is becoming much harder to keep the ignorant 'ignorant'.

Sadly, there also seem to be many Thais who are not interested in learning about anything outside of their Thai bubble.

My most intellectual and stimulating conversations are with myself

I also speak pretty fluently and read and write Thai. Had 2 serious relationships here with pretty well to do girls, with good English and a reasonable amount of westernisation to them, dated some chicks with limited English. Even those with good English, plus my good Thai skills, didn't really work out for me personally because of the remaining cultural and language barriers. I am now in a relationship with a lovely Australian lady and we have a certain banter and ease, and can talk about anything, to an extent I never could with Thai girls.

To put it succinctly, I am glad I don't have to spend the rest of my life explaining my jokes and only having deep conversations with friends. This is just me, other people seem to make it work.

Yes God if he exists created us all different. I do enjoy spending the time to explain jokes politics to my Thai g/f. She has reached the point where nothing goes over her head anymore smart as a whip. She will do OK after I am gone. I guess I am not on enough of a highfaluting level. All I know is that the universe is still expanding I care not to know why.

[bridge2bridge]

In a word NO.

I have been here for Eight years.

One marriage and four relationships.

ALL have ended up bad.

Thai women only want money not LOVE.

Or maybe i have just been unlucky.

A friend of mine who has lived here for 15 years and married to a Thai.

Always tells me you know when a Thai is lying when their lips MOVE.

Another friend says THEY can but we CAN NOT.

I am going back to my own country soon.

Had enough of the SHIT you have to put up with here.

And it is a lot worse than Eight years ago.

[seancbk]

I agree I need to get out from Patthaya to find a good girl

the point is , I would like to ask to those who have a thai partner: can you have a good communication with your partner?

What language do you speak with her?

I like to talk a lot with my partner and with a thai lady I wonder: can I have a great talk with my fiancee beyond the basic "what you eat" "where you go"?

I would have either to learn thai very well or have the lady learning english to a certain degree

I would never even consider dating a girl unless her English was good enough for us to have proper conversations.

I also wouldn't consider any girl who's family were poor.

If you are 42 and in decent shape, what are you wasting your time with girls in Pattaya?

Get to Bangkok and start going to business networking events. Find yourself an overseas educated Thai woman with a decent job, who doesn't need any money from you.

[seancbk]

A decent Thai lady is not genuinely interested with you because you came to Thailand to have sex.

I am also 42, been with my wife for 3 years and never paid a single baht for anything, even the wedding.

I hope that answers your question.

She supports you and pays for everything. Really?

Ok, I will gladly go through this again... because it;s so much fun.

No. I pay for outings. That's my thanks to her for.....

Living rent free in her house.

Supplying me with free health insurance.

Putting 1 million for sinsod.

Her parents taking care of the wedding.

Depositing 400k in my bank account for marriage extension....

So you are skint?????

No. He's just very fortunate.

[balhamred]

theguyfromanotherforum

You guys are hilarious simply because you live in a massive denial bubble.

No, she is not a hi-so Chinese, what a bunch of nonsense. She is a regular Thai woman with a job.

And what is this "free" stuff you speak of? It's not free, I am just being treated like an equal she married.

Let me see, this is from your own post,

Living in her house. Free

Health Insurance. Free

I million Baht Sinsod. Free

400,000 Baht Marriage Extension. Free

She must be a very well heeled young lady to outlay all this money for you, and yet has to buy the cheapest seats on the train to Hua Hin.

Now that we established she is not a hiso Chinese, you slap yet another label on her.

She is not rich, she has a job. Let's try this again.... she has a job. A work. Where she gets paid for her time.

And what does a cheap train to hua hin have to do with anything?

Here's something else totally irrelevant.

It's a holiday today and we are spending another weekend at Millenium Hilton thanks to my endless supply of points and rewards. This is how I treat myself and her at least twice a month.

You sound like quite the catch

Do you give her Tesco club points for Christmas?

[chilli42]

Don't look for love ... Thailand or anywhere. It's the sign of a weak needy person and these are exactly the kind of people that turn into prey for the money hungry. Love will find you when you least expect it ... when you are not looking for it. If and when it does, remain skeptical, at least until you are past the stages of lust, passion and romance. Once you have gotten past these stages you are better placed to observe and come to a sensible call on whether she is the right one for you. Finally, never listen to what she says observe what she does to you and to others.

[chilli42]

I agree I need to get out from Patthaya to find a good girl

the point is , I would like to ask to those who have a thai partner: can you have a good communication with your partner?

What language do you speak with her?

I like to talk a lot with my partner and with a thai lady I wonder: can I have a great talk with my fiancee beyond the basic "what you eat" "where you go"?

I would have either to learn thai very well or have the lady learning english to a certain degree

Married for 20 years. We communicate mainly in English which she learned after meeting me ... though I give Thai my best shot. That said, when she is cursing me out or annoyed with me, Thai is the language of choice.

[chilli42]

A decent Thai lady is not genuinely interested with you because you came to Thailand to have sex.

I am also 42, been with my wife for 3 years and never paid a single baht for anything, even the wedding.

I hope that answers your question.

She supports you and pays for everything. Really?

Ok, I will gladly go through this again... because it;s so much fun.

No. I pay for outings. That's my thanks to her for.....

Living rent free in her house.

Supplying me with free health insurance.

Putting 1 million for sinsod.

Her parents taking care of the wedding.

Depositing 400k in my bank account for marriage extension....

So you are skint?????

Feel a bit sorry for you she must be butt ugly because this is not the way the Thai culture rolls. That said, since you clearly are of modest means it's a practical approach yo be a kept man ... there are plenty of outlets here for what you are not getting at home.

[BespokeMan]

 

In my experience of reading TVF forums, the only way for true love to flourish in Thailand for a farang is to follow a few simple rules:-

1. Be the most naive person in the western world in that you have never heard of Thailand's world class reputation of having the most yo-yo knickered ladies per capita, bar none.

2. Never be tempted to go to a bar. In fact, steer clear of alcohol all together. All thai ladies like a fun, sober guy.

3. Always dress smartly. You will be admired far and wide if you dress in a shirt, trousers, leather shoes and socks and best of all, a tie, in 37°C temperatures. Pour scorn over the uneducated slobs wearing t-shirts and shorts, they know nothing and are an embarrassment to all and sundry.

4. Try to come here reluctantly at the insistence of your blue chip company. As a specialist in your field and respected by your peers you will find your complete lack of knowledge about culture, language and every single aspect of life over here to be absolutely no hindrance to meeting a hiso thai in no time at all. Best to skip over the reasons for why you were mysteriously single in your homeland though.

5. Once you have hit the jackpot and met the hiso thai lady of your dreams and believe me, this will not take long, don't make the amateur mistake of failing to constantly remind everyone that you are not and never have been a sexpat. If necessary, inform people you possess a degree as this is a very, very rare achievement.

6. Finally, never be tempted to post photos of your wife on the internet. Whether posing halfway up a tree or proudly standing in front of her Honda Wave you may find you lose some of the credibility you should have accrued by observing the previous 5 points.

 

Funniest thing I've read for ages.

Dumb Shumk

"In my experience of reading TVF forums" - says it all.

You have no idea, apart from your myopic views on Thai Society and the intricacies of living same.

[Fairynuff]

In most areas, I found that 'decent' Thai ladies to be 'boring' and if they have any western aspects to them, I just steer clear of them. Finding someone on your wavelength is more important.

Most of what some call here decent with that education every guy says his girlfriend 'has' here are moot in question.

Most girls I know are too tired after a 12 hour day at work; they come home to watch a Thai Soap dreaming of meeting some buffed Thai guy like what is portrayed on TV and fall asleep. I have two such girls like this living with me now. They never go out, just watch television and work six days a week. On the seventh day, they do their washing and go home to parents.

One has just finished her degree and is 25 and the other one also has a degree from CMU and is 29 working for a bank. Both are extremely attractive. Most foreigners are not going to meet this type of girl as they cannot speak a lick of English and believe me; they live a very dull and lacklustre life.

The Philippines is worse than here; give it a miss - If you cannot score here, you will not be able to score anywhere.

Leave Pattaya for a start. I love Pattaya for the wild times I have had there over the years, coming down from Chiang Mai to have a bit of fun once a year, but to live there, not a chance.

You've got two ya greedy b****rd....give him one of yours!!!

[BespokeMan]

 

In a word NO.

I have been here for Eight years.

One marriage and four relationships.

ALL have ended up bad.

Thai women only want money not LOVE.

Or maybe i have just been unlucky.

A friend of mine who has lived here for 15 years and married to a Thai.

Always tells me you know when a Thai is lying when their lips MOVE.

Another friend says THEY can but we CAN NOT.

I am going back to my own country soon.

Had enough of the SHIT you have to put up with here.

And it is a lot worse than Eight years ago.

 

AGREED, no chance of true love.

30 million opportunities, everyone is the same.

(Insert irony alert)

[ICECOOL]

Firstly get out of Pattaya and don't look in bars. My experience is this. I was introduced to a 32 yo by a Thai lady I had befriended when I was 54. She recommended this lady because of her good character. I met her and although she spoke only a tiny amount of English we hit it off. I tested her by taking her shopping. Could not get her to buy anything for a long time. (she passed the greedy/ money hungry test. She learnt English while I was back in Aust. She passed the I want to communicate test. I took her to Aust for a holiday and she got on with all my family. Grown up children and all love her. I asked her to stop work and she agreed as long as I sent her mother the same she had sent her to support her mum and her son. (5 years later I give her the same amount) Not a large amount. My friends all love her and want gf like her. She is humble and sweet and polite.

I suggest you try to meet a girl through friends. Test her to your own standards. Take your time and do not fall for the first one because you think she may be the last. There are many many lovely Thai women. Unfortunately there are also many many whose first criteria is how much money you have. If you get a sniff of that early , walk away.

Off course many women want security and mine is no different. She has got it because she has not asked. Good luck

[BuriramDevelopers]

This is not a typical Thai problem i guess, but a typical kinda guy problem. Why would you find true love especially in Thailand....

I feel that's where it goes wrong already.

True love will be found anywhere or nowhere. But going somewhere to find true love does not work,

Been in Thailand, before meeting my wife, but like said like some other posters. Did NOT go there to f.u.c.k. or find a woman. Lived my daily routine and just met her...Like it goes anywhere in the world.

And to answer your question..YES you absolutely can find true love in Thailand..like anywhere.

Up to you more than her i bet.

I do know when you find a Thai woman that is genuine and true to you. oh boy

This is the best woman, care and love i can imagine having. A loyal, loving, caring partner, trying to always be a good wife to her husband.

Understanding a man's point of view and not looking at the worst , but the best sides of you, forgivness for my mistakes and a big big hearth make her the kind of woman i have never met back home.

Trust me i have no problem findng a woman back home, but if this marriage would somehow fail, would preferably ,never ever go back to a Dutch woman ( unless hahaha you've got me there, i find true love again there).

But i does not seem likely anymore, having seen another way here in Thailand. Without any disrespect to the woman, and not making this setting myself, but, It's a man's world here, so act like it and you will see.......

Gl to you

Edited May 2, 2016 by BuriramDevelopers

[dbrenn]

I found true love in a small village when I least expected it. It was just my lucky day.

Right. Looking too hard for love is when you are the least likely to find it. Decent women are turned off by desperation - they like a man who is not trying too hard and is a challenge.

[BuriramDevelopers]

 

In a word NO.

I have been here for Eight years.

One marriage and four relationships.

ALL have ended up bad.

Thai women only want money not LOVE.

Or maybe i have just been unlucky.

A friend of mine who has lived here for 15 years and married to a Thai.

Always tells me you know when a Thai is lying when their lips MOVE.

Another friend says THEY can but we CAN NOT.

I am going back to my own country soon.

Had enough of the SHIT you have to put up with here.

And it is a lot worse than Eight years ago.

 

AGREED, no chance of true love.

30 million opportunities, everyone is the same.

(Insert irony alert)

Cmon, is it them? Had only 1 and stay together over 9 years and still going strong. Met her when she was young, so that is not a problem too.

Did see many many bad Farang husbands though, at least as many or more.

[dbrenn]

There are tons of attractive single women in Bangkok, and while probably the majority of them don't speak much English, a portion of them do. And I'm talking about regular women, not bar or sex industry types.

The challenge for a single westerner looking for a genuine relationship is finding that kind of compatible woman in a big city where you probably don't know anyone. Looking in bars isn't likely going to get you there, and random chance encounters are, at best, random. There's a variety of online options to sort thru the chaff, but using those will require, a lot of sorting thru the chaff.

I think it's easier if you're working in an office setting where you'll be in contact with Thai (female) co-workers. But if you're retired/not working, you've got to find other ways of coming in contact with the right kind of mate you're looking to meet.

Pattaya, more than likely, isn't going to be the place to do that.

Maybe this will make the point:

Your chances of finding a good, healthy relationship in Pattaya are probably about the same as finding a virgin working in a Walking Street go-go bar. Not impossible, but probably pretty unlikely.

Learning the lingo helps a lot. Even Thai women who speak English like a guy who can speak some of their language too.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Feel a bit sorry for you she must be butt ugly because this is not the way the Thai culture rolls. That said, since you clearly are of modest means it's a practical approach yo be a kept man ... there are plenty of outlets here for what you are not getting at home.

If that makes you feel a bit better about yourself then you will believe what you will. One thing is for certain, though. I wouldn't trade her for any of your fake golddigging "stunners" that doesn't take even a minute of effort to find in Thailand.

And I know a difference between "Thai culture" and a "sucker".

Thanks!

[Kabula]

Dumb question.

Dumb, thoughtless response...

[ICECOOL]

I speak good Thai, read and write as well. That helps me to converse well in Thai language with women from all levels of society, education etc.

After many years living in Thailand and meeting many Thai women, I find close to 100% of them have nothing between their ears And that is the same for Thai men...

It is not their fault that they don't know the capital city of Venezuela, or have knowledge about world politics. The ruling classes in Thailand and the educational system have gone a long way (for generations) to ensure that the vast majority of Thais are 'isolated' from information that we take for granted, (unless they go abroad for study/work).

Happily, social media is changing all that and it is becoming much harder to keep the ignorant 'ignorant'.

Sadly, there also seem to be many Thais who are not interested in learning about anything outside of their Thai bubble.

My most intellectual and stimulating conversations are with myself

I agree with you that Thais are not educated to the same standard many westerners are. I disagree they have nothing between their ears. My gf left school at 13 and worked in a factory for almost 20 years till I met her. She had a failed marriage and a child like so many Thai women yet she supported her son and mother for 15 + years. Now she has learnt English in 5 years and more importantly she comprehends English and even understands and makes jokes. Off course it is sometimes frustrating explaining some technical things to her BUT once she gets it she takes it all in her stride. My dad left school at 12 and was a very smart man. He could fix and make lots of stuff around our farm. Education does not make you smart. My gf half brother is a different story and cannot read thai and has difficulty doing multiple tasks. It frustrates the hell out of us both. However I also have a Expat friend living here who cannot read or write to more than primary school standard and he is from a modern western country. He is not stupid either.

I think the biggest problem many men have here is that they expect Thais to be a lot like them. They are not and that for me is the big attraction. They think different and they look at life in a much simpler way. I am still trying to understand it and I get frustrated daily but we live here and we should adapt. I still get frustrated and angry at a lot of stuff. Its not till I sit back and think about it that I realise I am the odd one out.

[bander]

A decent Thai lady is not genuinely interested with you because you came to Thailand to have sex.

I am also 42, been with my wife for 3 years and never paid a single baht for anything, even the wedding.

I hope that answers your question.

She supports you and pays for everything. Really?

This guys name must be Don Juan

[bander]

"I have been living in Thailand for several months, in Pattaya,To be precise and I love the country."

​Pattaya is not Thailand, it's a city with prostitutes and gold diggers, almost impossible to get a lady for more than one night there.

If you looking for a girlfriend or wife try to travel away from tourist citys, but first learn thai language.

[MediaWatcher]

Op, did you find "true" love in your home country, obviously not, the why would you expect to find it here, have you ever stopped to think you have a problem, and not the ladies.

It is forbidden to call TVers idiots, but if you ask an idiotic question then ... well, say no more.

Idiotic Definition: showing complete lack of thought or common sense : foolish

synonyms: stupid, silly, foolish, half-witted, witless, brainless, mindless, thoughtless, imprudent, incautious, irresponsible, injudicious, indiscreet, unwise, unintelligent, unreasonable.

[xtrnuno41]

I agree I need to get out from Patthaya to find a good girl

the point is , I would like to ask to those who have a thai partner: can you have a good communication with your partner?

What language do you speak with her?

I like to talk a lot with my partner and with a thai lady I wonder: can I have a great talk with my fiancee beyond the basic "what you eat" "where you go"?

I would have either to learn thai very well or have the lady learning english to a certain degree

You dont have too, you could find. But as you are living in Thailand, maybe learn Thai?

Lots of the girls come from provinces and are forced to do so, for family, not that they want to do so.

I met them, talked with them and all have the same goal, survival for them and the family. No money, hunger and no place to sleep, no contribution to family.

You should know that.

And with women it is like that, they want a sort of security, what is love? No matter where you go in the world. It is a part of the relationship, so are you TRUE willing to commit?! Then maybe put more effort in your actions, you can pick up mostl any girl or woman in Pattaya and even have long good time, They will stay with you as you take care for them in that period or you can built from that. It's all up to you what you want and try to consider what is love?

Lots of the girls women could have experienced a bad farang and so they create a thought of the farang, you are the one to break that down then and show otherwise.

Educated or otherwise working women are different, as they have income they dont care much about relation. Again you have to show then your honest TRUE feelings and work for it. Flirting will not help then, coz you are just another farang looking for joy.

[bazza40]

I agree I need to get out from Patthaya to find a good girl

the point is , I would like to ask to those who have a thai partner: can you have a good communication with your partner?

What language do you speak with her?

I like to talk a lot with my partner and with a thai lady I wonder: can I have a great talk with my fiancee beyond the basic "what you eat" "where you go"?

I would have either to learn thai very well or have the lady learning english to a certain degree

You need to learn Thai, and she should want to learn more English. It's not either/or.

There are plenty of Thai women looking for a falang. They've had an abusive Thai partner, and don't need to repeat the experience.

Thai women can chat for six hours with a friend they haven't seen for some time. Don't expect the same level of attention. In any case, be careful what you wish for.

I mostly speak Thai with my partner, and use a dictionary for difficult words. She'll speak some English occasionally. We joke with each other.

Pattaya is not really the place to find a good girl, more than enough bad girls to swamp the good.

True love? It's more like a contract.

Whatever you do, ensure you only commit financially to Thailand what you can afford to walk away from.