Do you think Thais are actully capable of Love, in the Western sense?

[RawboneFunksta]

They don't understand the word" love" in the same way westerners do.

They may know what they think it means to us.

They cannot know "in their bodies" the full meaning of a word so loaded with cultural/social/familial meaning.

Only children use such a word without weighing it's full meaning and all it encompasses

Thai culture is very different.

Love has a different meaning and money definitely features as part of the "taking care" aspect whatever you "more thai than thai" farang think with your highly educated, white chinese/thai wives but still live in Udon Buttfuck, fellas say.

Money is part of most relationships anywhere in the world but is more discernable here or perhaps Thai women are just more naive and easier to read than western women? I have talked with Thai couples who have all said that they expect a Thai man to "take care" of them by giving them money as part of that pact.

One advantage is that it's far less money than it would be in the west!

The song says, "try a little tenderness" in Thailand it is more fitting to "try a little gift of baht".

Thai women are sweet kids with a nasty temper!

[RawboneFunksta]

This is the country of "treat "em mean, keep "em keen" if ever it existed.

The only way to even have an inkling if she loves you or not is to give her absolutely no money in the first months of your relationship.

Don't talk about money you may have, don't eat in foreign restaurants, in short live like a Thai.

Do not give her the expectation that you will pay for everything . . .

The more you hold her off . . .the more she will come on and will fall in love with you.

In any country.

The chasing of women is what prevents men from being free and whole.

When you know someone well enough to trust them, well, that's different.

It does not matter what status a woman has, how much money she earns, she and all women want a man who is a man!

She may not marry you as she may not be able to manipulate you . . . plenty of Beta males out there who can fulfill that role!

Oh yeh, don't ever say, " I'm a feminist" the verbal form of castration! 555

Bring on the flames, the shaming tactics and the outrage!

Edited May 16, 2016 by RawboneFunksta

[srchino]

Don't confuse love with loyalty.

In general (but with many notable exceptions) I would say western women are more capable of loving; and Thai women are more capable of being loyal (oftentimes confused by the westerner as love).

They are both equally bad at the other. All that being said, any woman would probably slit your throat in your sleep if she was guaranteed to get away with it and has someone else better lined up; they are settling for us just like we are settling for the best we think we can get- which isn't necessarily a bad thing unless you're delusional and ignorant of these things.

[Berkshire]

Thai girl gets her heart broken by a Thai man one time and swears em off forever. Same Thai girl gets played by foreigners over and over again yet keeps trying to find one for marriage. The feelings are not the same.

I've heard this and been told by Thai girls. A Thai guy can break a Thai girl's heart, but a farang cannot. And the reality is a girl has to be in love with the guy to have her heart broken by him. So you're right, the feelings are not the same.

Perhaps now you understand why some of us feel like most Thai women are not deeply interested in us.

Well, the news is not all bad. It's possible to find a good Thai woman who will marry you, be loyal, dependable, and have a strong "like" for you. But love in the western sense requires something intangible. What do women fall in love with? It's certainly a combination of things, but the most important is not looks, physique, or even wealth. It's personality. And personality is 99% communication. In Thailand, that's Thai communication. But of course, the women who would "settle" for someone that she doesn't love would usually fit the profile, i.e., older, poor, single mother, not super attractive, etc.

[ammagic]

In a word - NO

[eldragon]

Thai girl gets her heart broken by a Thai man one time and swears em off forever. Same Thai girl gets played by foreigners over and over again yet keeps trying to find one for marriage. The feelings are not the same.

I've heard this and been told by Thai girls. A Thai guy can break a Thai girl's heart, but a farang cannot. And the reality is a girl has to be in love with the guy to have her heart broken by him. So you're right, the feelings are not the same.

Perhaps now you understand why some of us feel like most Thai women are not deeply interested in us.

What do women fall in love with? It's certainly a combination of things, but the most important is not looks, physique, or even wealth. It's personality. And personality is 99% communication. In Thailand, that's Thai communication.

All of my friends that speak Thai very well say Thais only talk about food.

[Berkshire]

Perhaps now you understand why some of us feel like most Thai women are not deeply interested in us.

What do women fall in love with? It's certainly a combination of things, but the most important is not looks, physique, or even wealth. It's personality. And personality is 99% communication. In Thailand, that's Thai communication.

All of my friends that speak Thai very well say Thais only talk about food.

Cmon, you actually believe that? I can speak Thai pretty good and this is absolutely not true.

[eldragon]

Perhaps now you understand why some of us feel like most Thai women are not deeply interested in us.

What do women fall in love with? It's certainly a combination of things, but the most important is not looks, physique, or even wealth. It's personality. And personality is 99% communication. In Thailand, that's Thai communication.

All of my friends that speak Thai very well say Thais only talk about food.

Cmon, you actually believe that? I can speak Thai pretty good and this is absolutely not true.

Have a little fun, mate.

[SoiBiker]

Belittling the Thai people is your idea of fun?

[kannot]

no i dont think Thais are capable................sorry didnt read the "love" bit

[fey]

I always tell people to read the book "Private Dancer". It is a must read and good read. It explains a lot about the Thai-Farang relationship and what the Tai lady is about in values, family,

and life. Read it and it will explain it all

private dancer is about a monger who tried to have a relationship with s hardcore bargirl.

thats not what this thread is about and explains nothing unless tour a sex tourist

[SoiBiker]

I always tell people to read the book "Private Dancer". It is a must read and good read. It explains a lot about the Thai-Farang relationship and what the Tai lady is about in values, family,

and life. Read it and it will explain it all

private dancer is about a monger who tried to have a relationship with s hardcore bargirl.

thats not what this thread is about and explains nothing unless tour a sex tourist

And yet this is the book we often see suggested as some kind of bible for expats in Thailand? Says a lot about how some people see the country, doesn't it?

[Naam]

What an asinine thread

[Bender]

http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/Reader/reader1844.htm

everything you should to know...

and when you finish wiping your tears, read this one

http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/ReadersSubmissions2010/reader5917.htm

extract

Thai women are similar to western women in many ways, including their belief in true love. I can’t believe how many farangs have reached their conclusion that Thai women can’t love. Total BS. Thai women do love and do so passionately. Thais do have their own opinions of the ideal mate, attractiveness, etc. It’s built on the same foundation as the west, but yet, it’s totally Thai. I’ve discussed this before in a previous piece, but Thai women develop their ideal of a dream guy through TV shows, magazines, music videos, commercials, primary school, and so on. All Thai, of course. You watch some of these soaps and even the farang-looking Thai guys (the luek kreungs, or half-breeds) all share one thing in common, 100% of the time—they all speak fluent Thai. That makes them Thai. But farangs have been conditioned to believe what they’ve grown up believing through the western media. For example, the western concept of an attractive man. You need to get that out of your head. Because Thais generally do not subscribe to that sort of thinking. I’ve been told more than once by Thai girls that a tall, skinny, pale, spectacled, Chinese-looking guy is the ultimate. Go figure. It’s not just the look, but what the look implies. This guy must be a faithful, loyal, hard-working, from a good family, successful, emotionally stable, and an ideal family man.

Edited May 19, 2016 by Bender

[Donutz]

I always tell people to read the book "Private Dancer". It is a must read and good read. It explains a lot about the Thai-Farang relationship and what the Tai lady is about in values, family,

and life. Read it and it will explain it all

private dancer is about a monger who tried to have a relationship with s hardcore bargirl.

thats not what this thread is about and explains nothing unless tour a sex tourist

Indeed, if two people simply communicate and care about eachother, having to desire to please eachother, respecting eacother, you won't need any book or person telling you what to do. You will figure it out together. You put your partner as your nr 1 priority and your partner puts you as nr 1. You work together, you communicate verbally and non-verbally. You can move mountains together that way and experience lots of joy and luck, because that's what you are both after. If that isn't the case, you might not be made for eachother...

I once browsed through Thai Fever, didn't find it useful at all. Seemed geared towards old fashioned people, old farts, stuck with circa 1950-1960 views. I remember some very stereotype household stories, and some very old fashioned text on sex ("your Thai lady might not be familiair with the pleasures of old sex and consider it the dirty parts"). I think any Thai with access to the internet, any THai from say 1980 and up, and probably older lads and birds aswell (who doesn't have internet these days?) very well know about oral sex and the pleasure of doing 69 etc.

If you need a book to assist you in a relation, you might want to reconsider getting into a relationship at all... 555 Might work for some people who are stuck in time and /or unable to look at things from different perspectives, be open to other ideas rather and tell them not to be stubborn. If you are the type of person that thinks "we do this this way because that is what I what I know, it's the only way"... a relationship might have some serious struggles. If a book can make you a tiny bit more flexible, good on you but it's not going to be a smooth ride I suppose....

[B1TcoinLife]

You all have a money obsession. Every time it comes to money you must all be very shallow or very not good looking.

Thai worship money and gold more than I've ever seen around the world..

[Broken Record]

If you came to live here when you were 35, your experience will be totally different to a guy that comes on a 2 week holiday twice a year, and a world away from a guy that comes to live here when he's 65.

If you moved to Thailand when you were young, you will know.

[Berkshire]

You all have a money obsession. Every time it comes to money you must all be very shallow or very not good looking.

Thai worship money and gold more than I've ever seen around the world..

You should clarify to say that it's only the Thai women you've known who "worship money and gold..."

[SoiBiker]

You all have a money obsession. Every time it comes to money you must all be very shallow or very not good looking.

Thai worship money and gold more than I've ever seen around the world..

Did you hang out with prostitutes in all the other countries you visited, too?

[brewsterbudgen]

I always tell people to read the book "Private Dancer". It is a must read and good read. It explains a lot about the Thai-Farang relationship and what the Tai lady is about in values, family,

and life. Read it and it will explain it all

private dancer is about a monger who tried to have a relationship with s hardcore bargirl.

thats not what this thread is about and explains nothing unless tour a sex tourist

And yet this is the book we often see suggested as some kind of bible for expats in Thailand? Says a lot about how some people see the country, doesn't it?

Yes it does! But there's no getting away from the fact that many tourists do come here for the bar scene, and some end up becoming expats. Private Dancer however, while an entertaining read, is fiction.

[ChrisKC]

It is the question in this thread that concerns me. "Are Thais capable...."? Capable suggests that ABILITY is a pre-requisite to express and show feelings of love; it somehow infers intelligence and skill are part of the love equation. In addition, is there a "Western sense" of Love?

The love between "lovers" is about feelings and is unique. It is different from loving anything or anyone else: chocolate, your children, your Mom and Dad. The actual lovers relationship can contain all nuances and absolutely no bar on topics of discussion that would be inappropriate in other kinds of relationships involving love.

Too many people, men and women, cheapen the word love by being a bit premature (and deluded) and sometimes before the relationship has hardly started. I know, I have done it myself. We should learn to be sure we "like" before we go the whole five yards with love. In my opinion, stating you love someone and meaning it, strongly infers commitment from your heart that could be broken if unrequited. It should also mean, technically, that you have "burnt your boats" relating to any other actual or potential lovers.

But we shouldn't deny people their feelings. If they feel it, they are entitled to express it. Will it be true? probably not, not necessarily because they are lying but because each wants to be nice to the other and it is a very pleasant thing to hear and it accelerates the process. An immediate feeling of love is understandable but the long lasting one is what counts!

When Thai women say they love me, especially before we have even met, I believe them! I say, "thank you, that is a lovely thing to say, I think you are nice, too"!

Will love really happen when push comes to shove? On balance, I think not. In the context of Thai women and Western men, if a relationship is working in an atmosphere of relative peace and harmony, honesty and respect and a bit of unselfishness then that goes a long way even though real love may not actually be present.

Me? I like the word "adore"; it seems to have so much more than love within it - but I rarely use it!

Edited May 20, 2016 by ChrisKC

[returnofthailand]

I think ALL women love only your social status and your money. being married is the ultimate goal for a woman.

all they want is stay at home and be married so they can remain the rest of their life at home while the man take care of everything.

years later when problems arise, she finally wake up of her prince dream . so 2 choices: stick with the husband (of fear to lose face from her friends) or divorce.

Edited May 20, 2016 by returnofthailand

[wildewillie89]

What a stupid post. Yes, many are about money but naturally not all. Before making the move just dot the Is and cross the T's. Who is paying for everything? Does she want to move to your land or is she happy to stay in Thailand? I'm 26, naturally don't have money. My wife and I now both work for the government 5 days a week and together on weekends. The land is hers originally and the homeloan is her name. Until I found work it was all on her salary. So what has she married me for and had our first child for? My lack of funds? She's young and has an amazing job, she doesn't have a shortage of people she can choose from. From my interactions and I guess that Durex survey results I think 40% of thai are who they say they are. To suggest all thai can't feel love is moronic. Get out and meet real, hard working thai and you may just find some love.

[Broken Record]

What a stupid post.

Welcome to ThaiVisa, you'll get used to it.

Edited May 21, 2016 by Broken Record

[Odysseus123]

The ultimate test is when,for whatever reason,you seek to restrict the cash outflow.In my case it was cancer and I asked that my mature (in years but not in intellect) Isan wife curtail her all night parties and gambling jaunts with her 147 good friends.

I also suggested that the 24 year old son and 21 year old daughter might actually think about getting jobs and contributing to the family welfare instead of partying until 3 am and sleeping in to 11 am each day.The backlash to these suggestions has been most alarming.

It is not just a Thai/Farang thing either.I listened to a Thai woman talk yesterday whilst having lunch.Her husband had had a stroke and,as he was such a bother,she took him to his son's house in another city,then returned and promptly filed for divorce.Her major complaint was that he was not giving her enough money from his pension.

All three Isan women at the table then agreed that marriage was a real problem and that you were better off single-so that you could become fat and fantasize about playing the field.No restrictions could then be placed on your partying,gambling addiction and 24 hour use of your mobile phone...

I was then asked the usual question-"Do you have any friends in Australia that are looking for a good Thai woman?"

My answer is always "No"

[samuibeachcomber]

well depends how much you are spending on them, they can't eat your love!Yes

Yes and this is the crux of the matter.Of course thai ladies will love their partner,thai or farang,but there is the expectation of the man taking care of her financially,and if possible her mom and pop too..Many times here on TV we here of the farang running out of money,cannot support his lady anymore.So what is she to do?...she may still love him but they've got to eat.And if she has no decent qualifications her salary will never be enough to support her,her farang man and her mom and pop.There lies the problem...the same would apply if her partner was thai.

[returnofthailand]

What a stupid post. Yes, many are about money but naturally not all. Before making the move just dot the Is and cross the T's. Who is paying for everything? Does she want to move to your land or is she happy to stay in Thailand? I'm 26, naturally don't have money. My wife and I now both work for the government 5 days a week and together on weekends. The land is hers originally and the homeloan is her name. Until I found work it was all on her salary. So what has she married me for and had our first child for? My lack of funds? She's young and has an amazing job, she doesn't have a shortage of people she can choose from. From my interactions and I guess that Durex survey results I think 40% of thai are who they say they are. To suggest all thai can't feel love is moronic. Get out and meet real, hard working thai and you may just find some love.

write me back in 7 years. I will give you an address of a good lawyer for your divorce! [emoji1]

[Cook my sock]

Why would I want a Thai woman to love me in a western sense? I'd much rather make an effort to understand the eastern sense.

[Cook my sock]

If you expect a Thai woman to love you the way YOU want, it's asking for trouble. No wonder so many idiots who can't find love in the west, also can't find love in the east!

[Lannig]

Why would I want a Thai woman to love me in a western sense? I'd much rather make an effort to understand the eastern sense.

Easier said than done I'd say.

This might well be the right way to deal with it indeed, but it's not easy to go against all the fundamentals of love as we have learned it from our parents since early childhood.

Whomever you love in Thailand, in whatever meaning of the word "love": girlfriend, boyfriend, relatives of said, the children in the family, be they yours or not, you're up for quite a few culture shocks that not meany of us overcome easily.