The week that was in Thailand News: Silly season and sarcasm as Siam carries on smiling

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand News: Silly season and sarcasm as Siam carries on smiling

Hilarity and mirth walked side by side with the murkier aspects of Thai society in a fascinating seven days of local news this week.

One minute we were laughing uproariously at the nonsensical nature of the national news while the next we were scandalized by the sheer gall of public officials in denying the bleeding obvious.

UK journalists refer to the slow news days of the summer months of parliament recess as “the silly season”. Well, here in Thailand I suppose some might say that the silly season started during the current ‘recess’ in 2014 and looks to go on for a while yet.

But if it keeps those funny, even silly, stories coming who’s to say it’s not a rollickingly good thing.

Top brazen billing this week went to the traffic cop who went the extra mile in offering service to a weary public by kindly giving up his personal bank details so a clamped lady motorist could pay the fine directly into his account. The appreciative lady even went so far as to praise the officer and post the payment slip online.

Hitting the nail on the head was the Thaivisa poster who said “Thais don’t really do sarcasm.” That is right, they don’t. They get it but it is not a way of life like it is in some cultures, notably the British who Americans think are just plain rude when we are just trying to be funny.

No, the lady was not being sarcastic….she was genuinely pleased with the service. None of which helped the Thong Lor cop one idiotic iota as he was hauled over the coals by his superior officer who not surprisingly, and in public comments at least, failed to see the funny side of it.

Other police with more than a little explaining to do to their superiors are the chiefs at the Huay Kwang station. Four were transferred following the discovery of handwritten tea money lists at the now shuttered Nataree Massage Parlour. Fortunately we were sidetracked from any nastiness about human trafficking – the original “reason” for the raid – and could concentrate on the potential fall of the fuzz.

How far the dominos will tumble in this story remains to be seen but I bet some nearby Rachadapisek dens of iniquity are busy burning handwritten lists of names they might have left lying about, just in case.

Continuing the sense of fun and laughter was tourism minister Khun Kobkarn who must have spent almost 1.2 nanoseconds of her busy week to come up with the “stringent measures” to prevent any more boat accidents. Next day dozens more tourists in the water and two more dead – hardly a laughing matter for those visitors once again let down by official inactivity and waffle.

Khun Kobkarn is a charming lady but one cannot help but think that when it comes to tourism as much as boating accidents on the high seas she may be, er… a little out of her depth.

Highlight of many posters’ week was the news in the wake of the Koh Chang accident that there was a hotline number to call if you suspected your hotel was going to collapse….1567 if I remember correctly.

Many sarcastic so and sos crawled out of the Thaivisa woodwork to suggest other numbers for reporting every mischievous and nefarious activity under the hot Thai sun. Needless to say it was a very long list they came up with.

Of course the 1567 number is just the hotline for the Damrongtham government complaints centre where in fact you can complain about absolutely anything you want….except the government of course.

If you feel the need to complain about them it would be advisable to wait at least until the silly season is over.

Meanwhile, the “they’ll get a 500 baht fine and a slap on the wrist” brigade were a little quieter this week when the sentences for the four attackers of the Owen family of Hua Hin fame were each handed two year sentences. No time off for admitting their role, no extenuating circumstances – the thugs were banged up seemingly as much for “damaging the good name and tourism of Thailand in the hours of darkness” as for common assault.

Indeed, seeing that boot going into Rosemary Owen’s face probably gives the tourism authorities nightmares about the loss of revenue.

In animal news, apart from the continuing prevalence of snakes and water monitor in toilets, it was a better one for tigers. The wheels of justice continued to turn for the stripy cats of the Tiger Temple who weren’t put into jars and sold as energy drinks while other big cats were transferred to inactive posts when the Hua Hin zoo was raided by wildlife protection folk jumping on the bandwagon.

Scam of the week was an old one – the Facebook Romance Scam – but one had to admire the cheek of the African guy who lured his gullible and greedy Thai victims posing as “Rich Randy the US General”. Principal victim was a pretty Thai “businesswoman and hotel owner” who gave the Randy Nigerian more than 800K before she smelt a rat. Why have I never met any women to support me like this….

Monks’ behavior was a revelation this week with not a single murder or sex scandal hitting the headlines. Maybe they were just staying out of the rain. Though a group of four “drunk monks” angered villagers in Mukdahan enough to call in the cops. The brazen boozers caught with Lao Khao and defrocked just said they would find another temple for their drinks parties and wandered off with their cocktails between their legs.

Which is more than can be said for the Pattaya chicken seller’s husband. The wife who caught him cheating sliced up “cock” of a decidedly different kind leaving her man’s manhood hanging on by a mere thread after producing a box cutter at a tender moment.

“Disgraceful! She should be arrested” I intoned indignantly in my wife’s earshot though her smile seemed to confirm her thoughts that I must be being sarcastic again…

As with the boozy monks, the clamping traffic cop and the randy scammers, “brazen” was another word of the week that seems equally relevant to the gay science teacher from one of Thailand’s most respected and oldest schools for boys – Suan Kularb.

Students on a Facebook page alleged he posted pictures of himself on Twitter giving some extra “anatomy” lessons to teenagers of his acquaintance. Like “sir” the authorities really need to get to the bottom of this.

Predictably the Suan Kularb Wittalayai school director has said none of the children in the pictures came from his school and has played down the allegations saying the posts were the result of malicious intent by a jilted lover.

Tantalizingly, the director told Thai Rath in an ‘exclusive’ interview that the truth will all come out by Monday – let’s see.

Whatever happens it is likely that this particular “roll model” will lose his job as he faces a five year stretch for posting obscene material online.

Finally to the hoot of the week. The tragic death of boxing great Muhammad Ali was reported in a grave voice on Channel 3 TV by its anchor Kitti. Such a legend, said the gushing presenter, whose iconic image is instantly recognized by every man, woman and child on planet earth….all except one of his news researchers it seems.

For he had put a screenshot of Will Smith up instead.

It was all reminiscent of a few years back when Meryl Streep appeared as Maggie Thatcher in solemn Thai TV news reports of the UK politician’s demise.

In relation to both television howlers Thaivisa keyboard commentators were quick to earnestly assert: “Well, we all look alike to the Thais, don’t we.”

Really? Oh I get it now; they were just being sarcastic.

-- 2016-06-11

[Laughing Gravy]

It is just a message board for sharing views and opinions. I don't take it that seriously. I suggest the OP shouldn't either. There are hints of not been able to be critical or plain sarcastic. Isn't that the point of such a board?

[Stray]

Brilliant round up News Team!

No, not a sarcastic comment.

I find this weekly news brief to be in a similar vein to the old "Graham Kennedy's News Show" (later, "Coast to Coast").

A light hearted look at both important and amusing current affairs. Keep it coming!

[neeray]

The 'round up' is always a fun piece to read. Problem is, since I read TVF faithfully every day, I've already read all this. Thus, it is old news.

But the impeccable writing style, free of typos and with good punctuation makes it a joy to read (as compared to a laborious effort to read some of the original items).