Two Thais breaking up

[runamok27]

Is it true when two Thai's, who were supposed to be married break up, the person who did the breaking up, that family has to pay money to the other family?

My wife's son was supposed to marry a woman since they were very young. They moved to Bangkok and my wife's son is being accused of seeing another woman in Bangkok. If this turns out to be true and they break up, my wife is telling me that she has to pay the womans, who he was supposed to marry, family like 300,000 baht because they won't be getting married. Is this really a custom in Isaan?

[colinneil]

Somebody is pulling your leg.

300.000 baht tell your son to tell her family ! take a hike !

[Farma]

About 10 years ago a nephew broke off an engagement with a Thai girl. Same as the OP, another girl involved.

Looking in from the outside I know there was a lot of anger from her family and negotiations. In the end he paid her family but i seriously doubt anywhere near 300k.

[Toknarok]

It's called 'breach of promise' and still can (albeit rarely nowadays) be claimed under British common law. Similar law might exist under the Thai legal system although I've never personally heard of it being enforced here. It may well vary from case to case and the advice of a Thai lawyer may be appropriate.

[bubba1]

It's called 'breach of promise' and still can (albeit rarely nowadays) be claimed under British common law. Similar law might exist under the Thai legal system although I've never personally heard of it being enforced here. It may well vary from case to case and the advice of a Thai lawyer may be appropriate.

It's a scam and a contacting a Thai lawyer will likely result in the OP being scammed again.

[Pimay1]

Just got the scoop from the gf. Some people don't pay anything, some people pay a little and some people pay more than others. It is up to the two families negotiations after the breakup.

[puchooay]

This sounds similar to when two Thais have been found out for having sex.

The girls family will insist on marraige. If the boy's family decline then the girls parents will, sometimes, go to the police and file a rape case.

See how serious the girls parents are. Money may need to be paid to keep the boy out of jail.

[DILLIGAD]

This sounds similar to when two Thais have been found out for having sex.

The girls family will insist on marraige. If the boy's family decline then the girls parents will, sometimes, go to the police and file a rape case.

See how serious the girls parents are. Money may need to be paid to keep the boy out of jail.

I have also heard of instances, as mentioned above.

Maybe the 'excessive amount' is something to do with a farang being on the scene or just plain good old-fashioned 'Thainess'

[shirtless]

They are setting you up for a transfer of your wealth to them that is all , even if there is a fee they will tell you a much more inflated price so they can skim a hefty profit dont act interested its not your problem.

[BEVUP]

Pretty much yes maybe at the begining or the big if not

Wife told me since 2 young kids were seeing each other for a whole 3 mths or more the girls mother wanted 20,000 bht - i would say in trust - the boy wanted to break up & by jesus didn't the girls family come around in a huff & puff

Im looking forward to this especially if the son becomes a butterfly

[runamok27]

Thanks for the advice and replies everyone.

I've already told her that I wouldn't pay any money at all and that if there is any money owed because of this her son has to pay it. This will probably not go anywhere since they will probably get married anyways but thanks for the advice everyone.

[puchooay]

They are setting you up for a transfer of your wealth to them that is all , even if there is a fee they will tell you a much more inflated price so they can skim a hefty profit dont act interested its not your problem.

That's rather a broad statement. Unless you know the OP and his family.

[DLang]

2 Thais in their mid 30's, together 8 years, he was caught cheating, they split up, she got his Toyota Camry.

No idea of any of the behind doors negotiations or if there were any.

[Ceruhe]

Have no idea if there is anythign to these customs here or not...

...but with some brain activity one would come to the conclusion that breaking up before marriage is a break up (only) and money demands can go take a hike. Divorces are devastatingly enough for men (at least in the west, I'm not familiar with thei thai system in that regard), but if the same effects (start to) apply over break ups too, I sure will wonder how long it will take for a social divide to happen. I couldn't even see how dating would work out then.

Of course as a post mentioned above, chances are you will get thrown a rape allegation (or threats etc) at you or whatever...which would be another issue by itself...which in turn lets you only submit to forced demands or chance your luck at getting accused/handled with whichever vigilante action is being taken against you and stand by your own priciples.

Then again, lemme just sit here on the sidelines watching this all these jokes and start cutting myself to check if my mind is still alive or not. Seems one can only get more and more depressed with each day reading/watching news and what kind of f'd up stuff happens daily.

[Patriot]

Yep; it is a fact; not sure about the 300K part though, a tad excessive!!

Once you have gone through the "Maa Kor" shenanigans you have pledged.

Basically one is liable for "Sin Sod" of sorts before, during and after the fact

[tifino]

the thing for the outsider falang to get to grips with, is how thais see dating/girl-boyfriend relationships...

for a thai to mention someone as a [boy(girl)friend], they are virtually engaged by that time

..bring a Thai missus to falangland, and she's bemused the concept that a falang boy/girlfriend relationship means they surely must be living together !!

to a falang couple , well - the dating game, even between the same boy with girl, can go on for years, eventually maybe becoming boy/girlfriend - but that doesn't mean they are engaged yet...

and so, bring together the East and the West...

falang meets pretty thai girl. he likes her looks, but more the idea she is jumping onto him like forever (or laarngtaam)

He gets his end away, intending for something new each night (read Bar) aka be a butterfly...

and little thai girl, with the $$ already in her eyes, wants him to stay around 'her' until wallet is empty

[DILLIGAD]

Maybe this is why a large-ish percentage of Thai girls seems to favor girl on girl /girl on tomboy relationships.

I guess in those cases if/when things go pear shaped, it's all hushed up.

Edited July 25, 2016 by DILLIGAD

[Rc2702]

Definitely a big difference between east and west ideals and if you been with a woman a fair while as OP has stated then some kind of compensation is normal. Example being the Toyota camry post. Division of goods happens globally though it just seems much more direct here which is odd given thai people are not that direct. Let's hope they stick together sounds like bangkok may gave turned his head in which case maybe the move to bkk is not worth it. I spent a year with mrs in bkk just going out created issues a woman I would suspect becomes more vulnerable there. So I got to know isan a bit and found it more appealing and the mrs is no longer on tenter hooks when I pop out so all good.

[Rc2702]

Have no idea if there is anythign to these customs here or not...

...but with some brain activity one would come to the conclusion that breaking up before marriage is a break up (only) and money demands can go take a hike. Divorces are devastatingly enough for men (at least in the west, I'm not familiar with thei thai system in that regard), but if the same effects (start to) apply over break ups too, I sure will wonder how long it will take for a social divide to happen. I couldn't even see how dating would work out then.

Of course as a post mentioned above, chances are you will get thrown a rape allegation (or threats etc) at you or whatever...which would be another issue by itself...which in turn lets you only submit to forced demands or chance your luck at getting accused/handled with whichever vigilante action is being taken against you and stand by your own priciples.

Then again, lemme just sit here on the sidelines watching this all these jokes and start cutting myself to check if my mind is still alive or not. Seems one can only get more and more depressed with each day reading/watching news and what kind of f'd up stuff happens daily.

It is depressing, bombs, shootings all kinds of crap going on but my advice is to find an alternative news site which focuses on good news only. Balance it out a bit. Think of your families when the world wars were going on without their strength you may not have been here regardless of which side your family may have been on. Would you swap that for now, very unlikely so try and look on the bright side it's not as bad as it was once upon a time.

[thairay]

Do not let fear guide your life , say what you think and let the chips fall where they may

[mesterm]

Do not let fear guide your life , say what you think and let the chips fall where they may

I bet a lot of farang business owners here once thought the same thing...

[MissAndry]

It's called 'breach of promise' and still can (albeit rarely nowadays) be claimed under British common law. Similar law might exist under the Thai legal system although I've never personally heard of it being enforced here. It may well vary from case to case and the advice of a Thai lawyer may be appropriate.

It's a scam and a contacting a Thai lawyer will likely result in the OP being scammed again.

Correct answer for OP, "Your son is not my responsibility"

Edited July 26, 2016 by MissAndry

[hobobo]

Maybe your wife needs 300k to buy a new bike for her gik?

[1FinickyOne]

There were a couple of incidents with my nephew unable to keep his fly zipped in the neighborhood. Not a breach of promise situation but the girl was moved out of town and a pregnancy claimed... no proof offered but his parents had to pay a "fee" -

Though the sister's family is very close, in all ways as we share a family compound, this was never ever considered to be my problem and even though I was the one most able to afford the "fee" - I was never asked or brought into the dealings.

It was their problem. They dealt with it. I barely knew about it and was not involved at any level.

Good luck.

[louse1953]

Definitely a big difference between east and west ideals and if you been with a woman a fair while as OP has stated then some kind of compensation is normal. Example being the Toyota camry post. Division of goods happens globally though it just seems much more direct here which is odd given thai people are not that direct. Let's hope they stick together sounds like bangkok may gave turned his head in which case maybe the move to bkk is not worth it. I spent a year with mrs in bkk just going out created issues a woman I would suspect becomes more vulnerable there. So I got to know isan a bit and found it more appealing and the mrs is no longer on tenter hooks when I pop out so all good.

When i first met the missus i Bangkok,i said i was just popping out for a short time.When i came back she was still crying.

[thesetat2013]

Thanks for the advice and replies everyone.

I've already told her that I wouldn't pay any money at all and that if there is any money owed because of this her son has to pay it. This will probably not go anywhere since they will probably get married anyways but thanks for the advice everyone.

WHat is wrong with you? THey will get married anyway and you will be the one to help pay the sin sodt!!! Then they will have a falling out and you will lose all of that anyway.

I would tell the boy if he is was considering leaving her then DO IT! Dont marry her for the sake of an old promise. She will get even more in the future from your bank account if he marries her. And if he already has his doubts then the future is bleak for them both to stay together married or not.

[cardinalblue]

I am not ssure what is funnier - comparing a primitive Thai culture to British law or if the OP would now critically think abut what he just wrote...

How many isaan families actually have 300K in the bank? 5%?

What is the expression about one being born every minute?

Edited July 26, 2016 by cardinalblue

[MobileContent]

Suppose a guy pays Sinsod of 50,000 Baht to have a Buddhist engagement party (Man) and the gal pulls off a stunt and goes with another guy, then the woman should pay double back because she broke of the engagement.

In our village a nice bird virgin got married for 60,000 Baht (Traditional) and the guy dumped her after 6 months. The bird can keep the 60,000 Baht because the guy paid already. Last week the girl came back and told everyone the guy left her in Bangkok and she is now 2 months pregnant.

[snowgard]

This sounds similar to when two Thais have been found out for having sex.

The girls family will insist on marraige. If the boy's family decline then the girls parents will, sometimes, go to the police and file a rape case.

See how serious the girls parents are. Money may need to be paid to keep the boy out of jail.

Rape case? 555

They was together for a longer time and sure don't played Majong or something else. A rape case they can forget. Police never accept it!!! 555

If she tell him stole her virgin, him can tell the same and nothing happen.

If they are they are the same age or over 18 years nothing will happen too. No one can do something.

And not forget, Thai men have the right to butterfly. Every thai woman can tell it to you.

Sure her family want a compensation if they broke. Because she open her legs and her family lost the face in the village if they not marry.

[blackcab]

What has this got to do with the OP? Nothing, so I hope his question here is simply idle curiosity.

If he is being asked to pay, then I would advise him to get a new partner, because her family's ridiculous requests will never stop.