Do expats need a relationship to be happy here?

[HooHaa]

10 hours ago, JJGreen said:

Could you expand on that?

What's to expand on, the post was perfectly  clear.

[questionsreplies]

if you need someone with a brain for chatting i agree that a relationship with thai is useless

[williamgeorgeallen]

14 hours ago, Chicog said:

Why own a cow when you can buy a pint of milk?

 

 

or even better just rent a different flavor of milk each time by the hour. from what i have seen here the single guys seem to be happier. i dont like to listen to people moan about their girlfriends who they cant relate to. hence most of my friends are single. there is only one point i can see to having a girlfriend and that is having kids. thailand is a single mans paradise.

[catman20]

17 hours ago, transam said:

If you live here tell us your story and thoughts for starters....

this sounds like one of the guys the OP is talking about and he dont sound happy 

[catman20]

3 minutes ago, williamgeorgeallen said:

or even better just rent a different flavor of milk each time by the hour. from what i have seen here the single guys seem to be happier. i dont like to listen to people moan about their girlfriends who they cant relate to. hence most of my friends are single. there is only one point i can see to having a girlfriend and that is having kids. thailand is a single mans paradise.

been here 16 year come here straight into a new relationship as i have not really ever been  single, i just thought that was the way it should be for me.

a good mate of mine at the time said why would you want to have one girl here when you can have what you want when you want, i never got it for years. after 9  year in relationships i finally got it , been single for 7 year would not have it any other way best thing i ever done. 

[williamgeorgeallen]

12 minutes ago, catman20 said:

been here 16 year come here straight into a new relationship as i have not really ever been  single, i just thought that was the way it should be for me.

a good mate of mine at the time said why would you want to have one girl here when you can have what you want when you want, i never got it for years. after 9  year in relationships i finally got it , been single for 7 year would not have it any other way best thing i ever done. 

was single until 37 then had a son. tried to live with his thai mum which i found very difficult. found some even ground and as long as we have separate bedrooms and our own space it is quite good. my son gave my life more purpose.

Edited August 15, 2016 by williamgeorgeallen
fixed spelling, dont want to look like a trump supporter.

[catman20]

3 minutes ago, williamgeorgeallen said:

was single until 37 then had a son. tried to live with his thai mum which i found very difficult. found some even ground and as long as we have separate bedrooms and our own space it is quite good. my son gave my life a much more purpose.

rather you than me, life is too short i couldn't live like that 

[williamgeorgeallen]

Just now, catman20 said:

rather you than me, life is too short i couldn't live like that 

maybe i am painting too bleak a picture. i actually have a pretty good balance. many for my friends in their 30 and 40s who want kids but are having trouble finding a girl they can tolerate have said how lucky i am with my situation.

[catman20]

16 hours ago, transam said:

Have you had a dysfunctional relationship then ...Tell us all about it.....What went wrong...?

2 things she was a women and Thai  

Edited August 15, 2016 by catman20

[Agent Sumo]

11 hours ago, JJGreen said:

Could you expand on that?

Stimulating conversation, worldliness and interests outside selfies,  photos of som tam, lakhorn, "Hello Kitty" and the latest Samsung Galaxy S phone - you're simply not going to find these things in the small pool of Thai women that are available to foreign men.

 

I just believe that, for the guy who has needs that go beyond a partner who looks a certain way and rarely says "no" to intercourse, it can be a lot harder to find a suitable woman in Thailand than it is in the West. 

 

Because I'm one of those guys, I'm fairly non-committal when it comes to Thai women and, to be fair, I'm not really bothered about settling down but, if one day, that changes, I'll either improve my Thai language ability in order to increase the size of the pool I can fish from here or I'll revert back to a Western woman.

[catman20]

2 minutes ago, Agent Sumo said:

Stimulating conversation, worldliness and interests outside selfies,  photos of som tam, lakhorn, "Hello Kitty" and the latest Samsung Galaxy S phone - you're simply not going to find these things in the small pool of Thai women that are available to foreign men.

 

I just believe that, for the guy who has needs that go beyond a partner who looks a certain way and rarely says "no" to intercourse, it can be a lot harder to find a suitable woman in Thailand than it is in the West. 

 

Because I'm one of those guys, I'm fairly non-committal when it comes to Thai women and, to be fair, I'm not really bothered about settling down but, if one day, that changes, I'll either improve my Thai language ability in order to increase the size of the pool I can fish from here or I'll revert back to a Western woman.

i would forget the western women bit 

[Snackbar]

Couldn't make head nor tail of my Thai wife. Several boring holidays going from one Buddist Wat after another. She didn't know how to cook, clean or shop for groceries. She'd 'clean' the house without breaking into a sweat. Wasn't great in the bedroom, had odd ideas about work, family, the future.

 

I lost all motivation to work on it, dreaded the thought of pregnancy. Came to despise her family, friends and finally her.

 

For me personally it was her cultural beliefs and values. More conscerned about putting on a good public show rather than just having fun and enjoying life.

 

Much more rewarding being independant than having to adjust my behaviour for the sake of harmony.

 

She was a well travelled, beautiful, friendly young woman. But all for show.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Aussieroaming]

i hate living alone, just something wrong about walking into a silent home

[Agent Sumo]

2 minutes ago, catman20 said:

i would forget the western women bit 

 

Your prerogative - I like them as much as I did when I was younger

[alocmrlj]

1 hour ago, questionsreplies said:

if you need someone with a brain for chatting i agree that a relationship with thai is useless

i suspect you don't speak Thai. same would be hard for me to keep any intelligent debate in Swahili

[catman20]

3 minutes ago, Aussieroaming said:

i hate living alone, just something wrong about walking into a silent home

i used to be like that, but no company is better than bad company, its all about what you get used to, i love being single now 

[Aussieroaming]

Just now, catman20 said:

i used to be like that, but no company is better than bad company, its all about what you get used to, i love being single now 

Agreed, no company is better that bad company. Just thankful that I've got good company

[catman20]

13 minutes ago, Snackbar said:

Couldn't make head nor tail of my Thai wife. Several boring holidays going from one Buddist Wat after another. She didn't know how to cook, clean or shop for groceries. She'd 'clean' the house without breaking into a sweat. Wasn't great in the bedroom, had odd ideas about work, family, the future.

 

I lost all motivation to work on it, dreaded the thought of pregnancy. Came to despise her family, friends and finally her.

 

For me personally it was her cultural beliefs and values. More conscerned about putting on a good public show rather than just having fun and enjoying life.

 

Much more rewarding being independant than having to adjust my behaviour for the sake of harmony.

 

She was a well travelled, beautiful, friendly young woman. But all for show.

 

 

 

 

 

 

so did u man up ? and do the right thing and kick her out???????????

[catman20]

3 minutes ago, Aussieroaming said:

Agreed, no company is better that bad company. Just thankful that I've got good company

maybe you have. i wonder how long for ? and do you thing she feels the same way ?

[Toscano]

Living in Thailand , or anywhere else can be pretty lonesome .  I do think some sort of relationship is desirable .  I have been living in Thailand with the same woman for twelve years , married for ten .  My recommendation to men retiring in Thailand is to get a Retirement Visa ; with which you are free to come and go as you please .  If you decide to marry a girl/woman , you can have a simple Thai Wedding with her family .  If things don't work out you can simply pack your bags and go , with no strings attached ; either rent a house/apartment or live in your partner's own house ; in either case you stand to lose little on moving out .  Wives are expensive and in time may lose interest in sex ; far better and possibly cheaper to pay for it as you go  .

[Snackbar]

Sure did. Dumped all her stuff outside the front gate.

 

Several friends helped her scoop it all up.

Quite a sight. Her best friend, all high and mighty, although there, didn't lift a finger. Summed it up for me.

[peter48]

Best not to marry a Thai woman. If you have and it stinks move on quickly. Best to live together but not marry as there are too many barriers and deep costs. Ex-pats here are lucky with lots of choice. Maybe you can find a good one iand have both good physical relationship and happy relationship but do not stay with any Thai girl who shouts, fights, loses her temper often moans, does little because it will not improve never. Always get out quick if you have any doubts about her mental stability because it never ever gets better. Do not take to Europe if there are any problems in your relationship ; divorce rate is massive with   Thais and Farangs. 

[alocmrlj]

6 minutes ago, transam said:

I don't speak Thai or Lao, taught Mrs.Trans English, was a bit of fun, mind you they are taught a little English at school here, that helped....

that's great, my reply was to the person who expects great conversation, while having huge language barriers in place from the get go and throwing everyone in the same basket

[AlexRich]

3 minutes ago, peter48 said:

Best not to marry a Thai woman. If you have and it stinks move on quickly. Best to live together but not marry as there are too many barriers and deep costs. Ex-pats here are lucky with lots of choice. Maybe you can find a good one iand have both good physical relationship and happy relationship but do not stay with any Thai girl who shouts, fights, loses her temper often moans, does little because it will not improve never. Always get out quick if you have any doubts about her mental stability because it never ever gets better. Do not take to Europe if there are any problems in your relationship ; divorce rate is massive with   Thais and Farangs. 

 

Agree, particularly about not taking them home with you ... as the divorce will be inevitable and she will walk away with a fair chunk of your life savings. 

[1FinickyOne]

16 hours ago, JJGreen said:

 

I am content being single, being comfortable with myself and alone time

 I would take single over a dysfunctional relationship any day of the week.

 

 

I think this question goes beyond borders.. As you, I feel sorry for people in dysfunctional relationships. Not my style as I would prefer to be alone and have no problems being alone. The relationship we have morphed into over many years seems to suit me fine, though it might not suit others. I like and get my alone time. I also like raising a kid and get to do that too, with the help of a large family. 

 

My wife and I have never discussed our relationship, we just have it. There is not too much of a dependent aspect to it and I surely function fine on my own as does she.... We would each do fine w/o the other. The unspoken idea is to help hte other have a better life than if they were alone. 

 

I do see people come here, into the countryside, and feel they cannot function w/o their  "other" at their side all day, every day... this would not work for me and seems not to work for them. Most of my friends here in Baan Nork have similar relationships to mine and they get along fine. There if needed by the family, though in my case, that is a rarity and yes, they have been there to help me the rare times they were needed, like the battery in my car going dead or such. They are glad to take care of it. 

[straylight]

What's that old adage? If it flies, floats or f_ _ _ s, rent it.

[akentryan]

Wife died leaving me in a big 3br 3ba house with big yard and lots of plants. Tried the single life with a different bed partner every night but that actually got boring. Started looking for a permanent GF. Had one didn't work out, had two at one time didn't work out, had another single didn't work out. Have one now (ex-bar girl) that has lasted 6 months and i have no complaints. Has two kids in Surin and also supports her brother's daughter. Half of her "monthly stipend" goes into Mom's bank account for the kids. The other half goes into her savings account and has not been touched. I give her pocket money and she never asks for more. Cook, housekeeper, maid, yard girl, you name it and she is damned good at it. Has brought a lot of happiness to what remains of my life. Even my wife's sisters like her and approve.  She is now in my will and the amount will increase with longevity.

[smotherb]

18 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

This is a good topic, unfortunately after the first half of the sentence I feel like I have been trolled. 

 

How about you reconfigure your thoughts better next time?

Seems like a rational question to me.

 

I've known far too many farangs who are, or have been, in bad relationships with Thai women. And, we all have seen too many stories of woe about TV posters' relationships with Thai gfs.   

 

I met one the other night; been here five years and on his third "Thai wife" The two previous ones had Thai boyfriends and ripped him off monetarily. His third was demanding house, car and family support. 

 

So, I wholeheartedly agree with JJGreen's post and I too wonder about those who are in and/or keep getting into bad relationships. It appears they do not change their selection criteria for women and can't imagine why they end up with the same type of woman.  So, I too wonder why don't you just stay single?

 

 

[alocmrlj]

18 minutes ago, smotherb said:

Seems like a rational question to me.

 

I've known far too many farangs who are, or have been, in bad relationships with Thai women. And, we all have seen too many stories of woe about TV posters' relationships with Thai gfs.   

 

I met one the other night; been here five years and on his third "Thai wife" The two previous ones had Thai boyfriends and ripped him off monetarily. His third was demanding house, car and family support. 

 

So, I wholeheartedly agree with JJGreen's post and I too wonder about those who are in and/or keep getting into bad relationships. It appears they do not change their selection criteria for women and can't imagine why they end up with the same type of woman.  So, I too wonder why don't you just stay single?

 

 

i had always wondered about this. If there is a huge gap in years obviously there should be some kind of compensation. Do they stay with us for our good looks, charm, intelligence which you may posses but they can't understand it anyway in most cases.  I'm sure there is many working relationships between thai/farang but they don't make it to forum because have better things to do

Edited August 15, 2016 by alocmrlj

[smotherb]

It seems too many farangs have poor relationships here; why?  There are numerous reasons which have been shared on TV, but it seems to boil down to just a few which cover the majority of poor relationships—knowing only bar girls, having nothing in common, desperate for any relationship.

 

Although, I do not like to sleep alone—and I am not Paul Anka—I do want the woman I am with to want to be with me for reasons other than my money. I think those feelings are true for most men.

 

It seems the majority of poor relationships are farangs with ladies of negotiable virtue. I believe few men would have married a whore in their home countries, yet they come here and do just that. Too many men are content to rent long-term, to have a relationship built on paying the woman wages; when renting short-term would most likely be less expensive.

 

Yeah, I know, marrying a good girl and supporting her is the same. Yes, if she adds nothing to the relationship except extracting your precious bodily fluids. However, if a woman adds to the relationship in any other way, whether or not she is a whore, the relationship has a better chance—but it is a two-way street, to have that better chance the man has to add more to the relationship than just fund it.

 

I suggest you look for women who do not think of themselves as a commodity only; ones who do not and have not sold their sex and other favors. There are Thai woman who fit that category, just as there are women everywhere who do.

 

Don’t get me wrong, there are ex bar girls who are good women too, and they can be good wives. However, they are the minority. A girl who sells her wares invariably gets to thinking of herself as a commodity and every relationship is with a customer; long- or short-time.

 

If you can’t find a good relationship; I suggest you stay single and use the Cold Beer Theory. Think of your women as you think of a cold beer; you like one, you buy one, you use it, you toss it away and if you want another, you continue the cycle. Don’t ever keep the empty bottles in your house—they can never be properly refilled, you will have to go out and get another.