The week that was in Thailand news: This must be Thai Candid Camera, right?

[rooster59]

The week that was in Thailand news: This must be Thai Candid Camera, right?

 

 

In a week when everything seemed to be “in the wake of the bombings” it was a welcome relief that there was plenty of humor on show to help us all to move on. And for a change the police took their time and didn’t just round up the nearest hapless suspects for the crimes, almost resembling a serious crime fighting unit.

Only one seemed to be falsely arrested – the alleged Tesco Lotus arsonist - and he was let out, given a plane ticket and headed for the monkhood.

In fact police thunder was completely stolen from under their investigative nostrils by dear Khun Kobkarn over at the sports and tourism ministry who decided to fight fire with fire and introduce a booklet for mastering Pokemon Go. This she felt was the answer to getting all the wavering tourists back onside following the outrages and start spending in the kingdom again.

Several incredulous posters on the forum even suggested that Thaivisa must be making it all up as click bait but the story was genuine enough. Dozens called for her head and even compared her unfavorably to other members of the junta – not an easy thing to do.

She then followed up with a breathtaking initiative called “Pineapple Eyes” designed to make the public more vigilant. The honorable minister was chairman of the board of governors at a well-known Bangkok international school for many years and in her defence I think she might have been confusing grown-up adults with the needs of Year 2.

There again maybe this is how the ruling elites see the Thai public.

Pattaya police also decided to do their bit and set up two roadblocks to stop the bomb making equipment getting through – kindly announcing in advance exactly where they would search. Their element of surprise is just that – elemental my dear Watson.

Meanwhile the top brass visited Hua Hin and held conferences and seemingly random people in the streets were named as suspects and then exonerated before they were even rounded up. Perhaps they were glad that the tourism ministry was taking some of the heat off the usual scramble to repair the damage to the industry.

Then along came a couple of bouncers in Khao Sarn Road who even made Khun Kobkarn yesterday’s news. They were caught on video – though neither seemed to care that much – beating a tourist’s head to mush with their boots. Sure, the four British tourists had obviously been behaving as only the British really know how to on their holidays but the severity of the penalty for annoying the Thais was well over the top.

Though while the bouncers lost their jobs and their liberty (even though the latter was suspended for a year) the tourists got 10,000 baht each from the hotel as compensation for the beer they had thrown around in the toilets. Disappointingly we didn’t see anyone ‘wai’ and say sorry – it would have been nice to see the bouncers and the tourists all shaking hands with Khun Kobkarn in the middle. A photo opportunity missed, minister.

Actually it could be time for Thailand to come with a government health warning with pictures like they put on the fag packets – a few snaps of street crime, what happens in motorbike accidents or what lady boys look like could help the tourists.

Talking of whom – or is it which – police managed to round up three lady boys that inspired my favorite headline of the week. The trio who perhaps drew the short straw when good looks were being doled out, had been unsuccessful selling sex and had turned to outright theft even putting their ill-gotten gains in an account, going from “bonking to banking”.

While the victim on this occasion was Swiss and relatively unharmed the same could not be said of his 60 year old countryman who was found in his rented house strangled and tied to the banisters. Not surprisingly, even for recent investigations, suicide was not even mentioned on this occasion though there is as yet no word on who might have committed the crime.

With all this serious mischief we were all waiting for the obligatory feel good story though on this occasion it felt as though Thaivisa were really dredging the bottom of the barrel. A Thai man was praised by Thais online for his exceptional kindness in – wait for it – giving some hitchhikers a lift.

There was really no more to it than that though the translator of the Thai story went to town on the story with a tongue that would have needed to be surgically removed from a cheek. But I was left to wonder what would “save the day for Thai tourism” next – “hotel waiter brings dinner to grateful starving tourists” or “Thai good Samaritan helps stranded tourists on Beach Road find Walking Street” perhaps.

Once again the power of social media and the cameras that seem to be fitted to every electronic device and power pole these days provided the usual evidence and fodder for online comment that accounts for so many news stories.

The first was a picture taken by a staff member of one of the foundations that drive around Bangkok and other cities picking up the recently dead and the soon to be stiff. But on this occasion their picture of a motorcycle accident victim captured a crafty hand of a “helpful” motorcycle taxi rider helping himself to the contents of the victim’s wallet and gloves.

Apparently, it was only the ninth time he had done it, so never mind.

Also caught on tape – though rather indistinctly for the ghoulish among us expats trained in the art of Thai ways – was the trainee nurse wielding a knife in a Bangkok hospital. She was attacking a rival for her man but another nurse got in the way and paid with her life despite the proximity to doctors.

I really wish they would name the hospitals, hotels and department stores where these crimes occur – it might help me make some informed decisions about where to possibly avoid sudden death.

Also unnamed was the school in the On Nut area of Bangkok (a very long road so it could have been one of dozens) where the headmaster decided to shoot his sister, who worked as a manager in the finance office, no less than six times. One felt great sympathy with the children who will live with the trauma of what happened especially as the shooting was right next door to the kindergarten.

The school was promptly closed and everyone went home – though sadly what the youngsters are likely to see on Thai television, even in the afternoon, will not be so far removed from what happened at that school, wherever it was.

Funniest of the ‘locals behaving badly caught on tape’ was the amusingly headlined “donut wars” in Nakorn Nayok. For some reason that was barely explained a whole delegation of donut store employees sought out some customers who had had the temerity to complain that the service in the shop was poor and the donuts unappetizing.

I guess the thing is that confrontation is still relatively new to Thais in the great scheme of things and all this footage is being gawked at as if it were just dead bodies – something they have always been used to.

Later in the week a group of people posted their experiences with a traffic cop at a booth in Bangkok. Though the footage was taken to back up their assertion they had been the victims the reality was that it showed the complete opposite – an honest and likeable policeman who was just doing his job had been set upon by a vicious, snarling woman who put him in hospital.

Perhaps it is time for the tourism ministry to forget the manual on how to play Pokemon Go and get one printed on when and how to post video. Could be a winner.

Also related to tourism – okay what isn’t these days I hear you say – was the scandal of the week in which photographers were furious that pictures that appeared as finalists in a Tourism Authority of Thailand photography competition has previously been seen on the TAT’s own website.

The TAT “ummed” and “aahed”, removed the pics with barely an audible “khor thot” then confirmed their abject idiocy by pulling the plug on the whole competition. They would do well to pay more than lip service to the usual rules that forbid employees of the company from taking part in competitions in the future.

Finally there were two differing stories of the usually downtrodden – a security guard and a “dek pump”.

The first featured a very handsome chap who bore all the hallmarks of being a farang (good idea for a TAT competition to name what those attributes are perhaps) who was pictured in the course of his duties. Who is the guy who is bucking the trend of the normally dark-skinned whistle blowing guard, the online community demanded?

Two days later we realized we had all been conned – it was a farang after all – an American English teacher pictured in his role in an upcoming Thai soap. Boy I felt cheated…..

Though the last story was the real deal – the pump attendant at the center of the story two weeks ago when she was abused as ugly and unworthy of birth by a Yasothon civil servant, finally got her payday in the limelight.

She took up producer Poj Arnon’s offer to appear in a movie as herself and travelled to Bangkok for a cameo in a Thai comedy. In the film a hi-so driver is similarly rude to her while the “dek pump” maintains her dignity and composure before disappearing with the handsome hero of the tale on the back of his motorbike.

A fitting end to that particular Thai comedy.  

 

 

-- © Copyright Thai Visa News 2016-08-20

[Winniedapu]

Good post, eminently reasonable comments. Well done sir.

 

Winnie

[swissie]

Just hilarious ! Descriptions of happenings in a madhouse. The writers of "Monty Phyton" (in the old days) could not have come up with more bizarre stuff.
No more sure if I should cry or laugh about it.
Cheers.

[Dukeleto]

And that, my friends, is the real reason it is called the "Land of Smiles" because as the article clearly illustrates, you can but only smile.

Edited August 21, 2016 by Dukeleto

[elgordo38]

I just  hope the Kob of Corn lady does not come after you and slap you down with her new Poke the man booklet. 

[Freed1948]

Always a good read weekly.

And the Thais wonder why we don't take them seriously.

[Mike555]

Excellent post. Got me laughing, which is amazing given how crappy the news has been of late. Thanks!

[DekDaeng]

"Disappointingly we didn’t see anyone ‘wai’ and say sorry"

 

Wot, no pointing?

 

[taiwanatoa]

Another boy is beaten to death:

http://prachatai.org/english/node/6485?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+prachataienglish+(Prachatai+in+English)

" After learning the autopsy result, Suda, who earns on average 1,000-2,000 baht a month from paddy farming and basketry, borrowed 6,300 baht from her neighbours to seek justice in Bangkok.  "

Here is an interesting article:

"

A monarch seeks to abdicate: The state of the state"

http://prachatai.org/english/node/6507?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+prachataienglish+(Prachatai+in+English)