Do Thais you know exhibit gratitude to you?

[bannork]

Yes, I agree with kenk24, there are some good women out there thaibeachlovers, it's finding them that's harder. They could be in an office, a bank, a rice field, a factory, a shop. don't give up, keep patient, learn some Thai. It's not too late.

[tifino]

 

"Why do I have to, even once, say thank you?

 

I didn't Order you to do it"

 

 

I get this every other day, from she who rules with iron pinkie

[rogeroc]

On 9/27/2016 at 2:04 PM, kenk24 said:

My wife did not say thank you when I bought her a car this year. But, I did not expect it any more than her saying "abra cadabra" it is just not her way, not her culture, but it does not mean that she does not appreciate it. I know she does. And she is such a nice lady that I was glad to be able to give it to her. 

 

Sorry to hear of your situation... what sounds to be a true lack of gratittude... actually, it sounds quite a bit like a not unusual female style feeling of entitlement... keep your chin up and all,  there are some good women out there... good luck. 

 

Can't believe you are happy with that situation. If your good lady only wants to know about Thai culture then she should have married a Thai. You would have been better off with a bargirl. Although they are so often berated on this site at least very many of them have some good manners !

[JHolmesJr]

Very polite folks…I always get a wai and a curtsy upon handing over my dues the next morning.

[Rc2702]

On 26/09/2016 at 9:09 AM, sanemax said:

 

 

  

I was just replying to what you wrote .

If you didnt actually mean "grovelling", but a word "like grovelling"

You really should have used the word that better describes what you wanted to say

 

On 26/09/2016 at 9:09 AM, sanemax said:

 

Agreed and whilst it sounds lovely your situation kenk I think it is also odd that you believe the niceties are their gratitude. Niceties are a given and should work both ways IMO. Manners are important everywhere in english or any other language/action. It costs nothing to show gratitude.

 

On 26/09/2016 at 9:09 AM, sanemax said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[1FinickyOne]

8 hours ago, rogeroc said:

 

Can't believe you are happy with that situation. If your good lady only wants to know about Thai culture then she should have married a Thai. You would have been better off with a bargirl. Although they are so often berated on this site at least very many of them have some good manners !

 

Roger, I see it as a cultural difference, not in any way bad manners. She does not only want to know about Thai ways, but she is definitely Thai. It is me who chose to live amongst Thai and her family and I really like their ways... for the most part. Sometimes words are far less meaningful than good actions. She is a very positive person, always helping family, friends, me too, if I need it. I see her "thank you" in so many many things... I have no particular need to hear it. She is definitely not ungrateful. It is really more than enough to see her appreciation, which I do near every day. The words would be superfluous. 

 

And as to bargirls, not sure what it has to do with the Thai custom of not verbalizing the words "thank you" but preferring to show it, but I definitely agree with you and in my many years here have met many who make excellent wives and are very very decent people. It is just a job if seen from a Thai perspective and to me, it is not a statement of character. The cliched 'heart of gold' often applies.  

[1FinickyOne]

17 hours ago, manfredtillmann said:

with out fail my wife and her family thank me when i have done something good for them - just like i make sure they all know how grateful i am for all the good deeds they bestow onto me.

i would be nobody here without them and their lifes would be pretty crappy without me.

both parties know - and both feel and show our gratitude.

 

Yes Manfred - that is very much how life goes for me here... though we are all self sufficient, we all do help each other - just that we do it w/o the need to verbalize the words "thank you" - - when my father in law shows up at my home office with a soft smile and special dessert that he made, when my brother in law learns that my car battery is dead and pops it out, gets it charged and returns it, never saying a word or asking for a thank you, when my wife does any of a hundred things in the course of the week that make my life better, when youngest sister and her husband see me pull up at the front gate and literally run to open it for me, when i am constantly offered meals and snacks as the family roasts bananas or whatever, all says "thank you" w/o using those 2 words... and that is nothing compared to any family crisis... if someone is in the hospital and I return home,  there is a gathering of 20-40 extended family members, waiting to help with food or anything they can do to ease the crisis... this is all "thank you" w/o the words... they are not withholding the words, it is just not their custom to say them, especially when dealing with family. The "thank you" is understood. 

 

There are times that my wife and I have done special favors, extra special help for neighbors and friends in times of desperate need. They have responded with hugs and tears. Later, showing up with extra special meals, always having a special extra loving soft look in their eyes when they see us, never forgetting... all of this is showing "thank you" and it is so powerful that the words hold little meaning, and basically, it is not their custom to use those words, thats all... it is a different culture here and they have different ways... 

 

And so, I have the luxury of feeling as though I live in a world of gratitude... which it sounds like you do too... 

[thaibeachlovers]

On ‎28‎/‎9‎/‎2559 at 4:34 PM, Alive said:

Everyone is nice to me generally. You may not get thank you but you should be able to see appreciation and respect in your relationship with them. If you are close together with your partner, it's not a thank you situation in my view. Both my wife and myself have been together for 14 years so we are mutual in how we treat each other. Of course my wife is expressive with kisses and showing love when she gets something special but most of the time our life is a routine. We built our home over years and honestly it never really was finished. We'z po folks but happy enough. My step-daughters always say thank you when they get money for uni or something special. And the people I know in everyday life are usually very thankful when I do something for them. Just my experience.

Of course my wife is expressive with kisses and showing love when she gets something special

As it should be.

 

The last time I came back, I bought her expensive mascara ( she always asks me to bring mascara back ), but far from thanks, all I got was "this is wrong brand". It wasn't the reason for it, but she ain't my wife anymore, so not getting any brand again.

 

I never expected the rellies to grovel whenever I did something for them, but it isn't hard to say "kop khun".