Elderly female farangs living in LOS

[georgegeorgia]

On my recent visit to Pattaya I met up with a friend , (expat restaurant cafe  owner from UK) 

He had brought his 78yo Mum over from Wales in the UK for a visit with intention to stay and live in Pattaya.

His Mum was a nice lady who still had all her marbles so to speak and enjoyed doing her crossword books, apart from a slight limp she was ok physically.

 

Her husband had died recently and she was living on her own which prompted the son to want her to move to Pattaya to be with him and his family, Thai wife and 3 kids.

 

on speaking to her most days and sometimes without her son being there, I found out she didnt like Thailand, her son wanted to sell the family house in Wales and for her to move in with them but on her visit she told me she had only been there 5 days and wanted to ho home back to Wales to see her friends and play cards.

She couldnt go out walking every morning for fear motorbikes cars etc would run her down and had been physically sick with the heat and smells of the food.

 

her son had refused to help her go back early, he was pushing her to sell the house 

she had another 2 sons in the UK but they lived a fair distance away.

anyway she had booked a 4 week trip but wanted to leave, or should I say he had booked her the 4 week trip.

 

I told her son she wanted to leave early who got angry with me and told me I was banned from his cafe etc.

So about a few days later I again popped into the cafe when I saw her sitting outside drinking a cup of tea one morning.

She couldnt  use her mobile phone so I offered to look at it for her, i went straight to the contacts and saw her other sons names and copied the phone numbers.

she had been crying and was sick physically , she begged me to help her.

 

The phone hadnt had a new Sim card installed so i went thru it.

 

Luckily I copied the contacts  list first as a staff member of the cafe recognised me as banned and asked me to leave.

That night I got I rang the number of one of her sons back in the UK and spike to his wife who I explained what was going in.

She was horrified at how the other son was forcing her Mum in law to stay in Thailand and equally with him trying to sell the house.

 

Her husband rang me that night and I explained the story, he had been contacting his Mum but the phone was dropping out .

His intention was to get a Lawyer to contact the embassy and Police.

 

Anyway to cut a long story short , a few days later she had disapeared from the cafe and I found out she had gone back to Wales and I was very very relieved.

 

My question to you is have you known any one particularly female relatives who are elderly to be able to settle in Thailand ? Say over 75yo, obviously Im  talking more about older women than men.

 

i know my Mum wouldnt of been able to do it , My Dad yes , he would of loved the attention of the girls and I would of brought him over if My Mother had died first, but if it was the other way around I doubt my Mother would of been interested in staying.

 

I never apart from this case , seen or saw elderly farang females living in Thailand .

I was glad the elderly lady I saw at the cafe was saved.

 

 

 

 

 

[SaintLouisBlues]

9 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

i know my Mum wouldnt of been able to do it , My Dad yes , he would of loved the attention of the girls

Hmmm. You're sure it would be like that and not the other way round? My elderly sister definitely comes here for the boys

[Gecko123]

Pretty vindictive post there, georgegeorgia.

 

Not only would I be livid too if you meddled in my family's personal affairs like this, I would be positively enraged if I found out you came on TVF and broadcast my personal family business to the whole world, especially when you don't know all the facts behind the situation.

 

By providing all these personal details which make him easily identifiable to his friends and customers, you've potentially damaged his business and personal reputation, both unfairly and gratuitously. After all, how many barkeepers have a 78 year old mother recently visiting for 4 weeks from Wales?

 

You better watch your step. In the process of retaliating for being banned from his bar, I'm pretty sure you've also violated Thailand's slander laws, which is both a criminal and civil offense. 

Edited October 1, 2016 by Gecko123

[colinneil]

OP i think you should keep your nose out of other peoples business.

[Liquorice]

Bravo OP. You helped an elderly distressed widow return home to her family and friends.

 

Living in LOS should be by your own choice, not by coercion.

[georgegeorgia]

55 minutes ago, colinneil said:

OP i think you should keep your nose out of other peoples business.

Then walk the walk .

Edited October 1, 2016 by georgegeorgia

[sanuk711]

2 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

I told her son  who got angry with me and told me I was banned from his cafe etc.

So about a few days later I again popped into the cafe

.

.................................

[williamgeorgeallen]

2 hours ago, colinneil said:

OP i think you should keep your nose out of other peoples business.

you know what i would agree with you 100% but in this case its good to see the old dear is back where she belongs. OP better watch his back. the son may have been counting on the proceeds of his mums house to keep living the dream in thailand.

[elgordo38]

13 minutes ago, williamgeorgeallen said:

you know what i would agree with you 100% but in this case its good to see the old dear is back where she belongs. OP better watch his back. the son may have been counting on the proceeds of his mums house to keep living the dream in thailand.

You raise a good point one that is a definite possibility. The elderly know how to save money the young are experts at spending it even when it is not their own. I definitely smell a rat here. This elderly lady was a virtual prisoner with some outside help. All that banned for life crap just reinforces my thinking. This corralling of the elderly and milking them for their money is becoming all to prevalent. Yes we are crossing over from thriftiness to financial cunning. Why? Greed is the obvious answer why work for things instead look for one of life's shortcuts. Unfortunately they did not exist for my generation. Hard work carried the day. 

[sanuk711]

1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

2 hours ago, colinneil said:

OP i think you should keep your nose out of other peoples business.

Then walk the walk .----georgegeorgia

.

That's funny--you obviously do  not know that guys history.

Edited October 1, 2016 by sanuk711

[biplanebluey]

2 hours ago, Faz said:

Bravo OP. You helped an elderly distressed widow return home to her family and friends.

 

Living in LOS should be by your own choice, not by coercion.

I agree with you entirely about her ending back in Wales----good on ya mate-------but to broadcast to the world another mans life like that DEFINITE NO !!!!!! There was no reason to tell the son's name or even the location or Bar or even Pattaya,Not only broke the law but destroyed a mans reputation and maybe his Business, BAD NEWS MATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[charmonman]

4 minutes ago, biplanebluey said:

I agree with you entirely about her ending back in Wales----good on ya mate-------but to broadcast to the world another mans life like that DEFINITE NO !!!!!! There was no reason to tell the son's name or even the location or Bar or even Pattaya,Not only broke the law but destroyed a mans reputation and maybe his Business, BAD NEWS MATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where did he mention the son's name or the name or location of the bar (other than it being in Pattaya, which frankly doesn't narrow it down much)?

[likeke]

3 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

Pretty vindictive post there, georgegeorgia.

 

Not only would I be livid too if you meddled in my family's personal affairs like this, I would be positively enraged if I found out you came on TVF and broadcast my personal family business to the whole world, especially when you don't know all the facts behind the situation.

 

By providing all these personal details which make him easily identifiable to his friends and customers, you've potentially damaged his business and personal reputation, both unfairly and gratuitously. After all, how many barkeepers have a 78 year old mother recently visiting for 4 weeks from Wales?

 

You better watch your step. In the process of retaliating for being banned from his bar, I'm pretty sure you've also violated Thailand's slander laws, which is both a criminal and civil offense. 

Oh please!!  I am so glad you helped out this lady! Good on you my friend. You did the right thing regardless of the idiot son. And anybody who disagrees with this should look deep into your heart and think what if this was your mother. It was obvious she was abjectly sad and wanted to go home where her friends were, etc. You definitely took the high road! 

Edited October 1, 2016 by likeke
error.

[sanemax]

1 hour ago, williamgeorgeallen said:

OP better watch his back. the son may have been counting on the proceeds of his mums house to keep living the dream in thailand.

 

  The OP implies that selling the house was the Sons reason for him wanting her to stay in Thailand , now you are implying that he needed to money to stay in Thailand !!!!!

   That is quite a lot of guessing and implying that you are both doing there

[sanemax]

14 minutes ago, likeke said:

Oh please!!  I am so glad you helped out this lady! Good on you my friend. You did the right thing regardless of the idiot son. And anybody who disagrees with this should look deep into your heart and think what if this was your mother. It was obvious she was abjectly sad and wanted to go home where her friends were, etc. You definitely took the high road! 

 

   It is quite possible that she may have changed her mind and began to like Thailand after she had got settled in and became familiar with it .

[elgenon]

Yes, A casual friend brought his elderly mom to CM from the US. He says she mostly stays home but is doing well. Haven't met her. Don't know if she had a house to sell but he harps on the idea the US economy is going to crash to dust. He has been saying this for years. He moved his assets into gold when gold was about $1600. His idea of building and selling expensive houses with a Thai partner is not going well.

[Gecko123]

9 minutes ago, likeke said:

Oh please!!  I am so glad you helped out this lady! Good on you my friend. You did the right thing regardless of the idiot son. And anybody who disagrees with this should look deep into your heart and think what if this was your mother. It was obvious she was abjectly sad and wanted to go home where her friends were, etc. You definitely took the high road! 

 

I think what the OP did is unbelievably meddlesome. Mr. 'I'm-such-a-compassionate-person-I-know what's-best-for-someone-else's-mother-than-her-own-son-does.'  And then to come on Thai Visa to crow about how thoughtful and sensitive he is for intervening, damaging the son's reputation in the process? You make it sound like she was interminably trapped here, being forced to live out her days in Pattaya against her will. LOL. She was midway through a four week vacation, which she wanted to cut short. The OP should have minded his own business.

[Tony125]

3 hours ago, colinneil said:

OP i think you should keep your nose out of other peoples business.

Maybe you didn't read the post well but the lady asked him to help her because she could not use her phone to call back home. I to would have helped the lady contact her family irregardless of her son's wishes. If he wasn't trying to coierce her into staying  the loving son would have gotten his mom  a phone or new sim card so she could keep in contact with friends and family back in Wales. 

 

Hats off to you George

[mesterm]

28 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

That's funny--you obviously do  not know that guys history.

 

Yeah didn't make sense at all.

[LindsayB]

Good on you George, the lady asked you to help her and you did.You can stand tall in my book.My police detective brother drained my mothers bank account while she suffered from altzheimers disease.Theres nothing lower than a son/daughter who bullys,manipulates and steals from their elderly parents.

[sanemax]

A guy brings his elderly Mother over to Thailand for a holiday to stay with his Wife and three kids, the O.P. then decided that his only reason for asking her to come to Thailand was so that he could sell the family house and keep the money .

The OP then decides to trespass, take the old ladies phone and delve through it contacting her family and making unsubstantiated allegations!!!! 

  Maybe the guy just wanted to take care of his mother or he wanted her to spend some time with his own Children.

   But no, the OP decided that his only reason for doing it was to sell her house, even though he would not have been the recipient of any money from the house sell .

   The OP really needs to mind her own business, she may have caused a huge rift in that Family all based on a false allegation . The OP doesnt know the facts , its none of her business and she should not have got involved, 

[IAMHERE]

Elderly abuse is a concern of everyone's. OP, you did good.

[Scotwight]

1 minute ago, IAMHERE said:

Elderly abuse is a concern of everyone's. OP, you did good.

My mother was of diminished mental capacity and my step daughter managed to find a shady lawyer and change her will.  You never know do you?  

[colinneil]

3 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

Then walk the walk .

You say walk the walk.

Well let me tell you that is my greatest wish. !! To be able to walk !!

 

[dotpoom]

5 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

Pretty vindictive post there, georgegeorgia.

 

Not only would I be livid too if you meddled in my family's personal affairs like this, I would be positively enraged if I found out you came on TVF and broadcast my personal family business to the whole world, especially when you don't know all the facts behind the situation.

 

By providing all these personal details which make him easily identifiable to his friends and customers, you've potentially damaged his business and personal reputation, both unfairly and gratuitously. After all, how many barkeepers have a 78 year old mother recently visiting for 4 weeks from Wales?

 

You better watch your step. In the process of retaliating for being banned from his bar, I'm pretty sure you've also violated Thailand's slander laws, which is both a criminal and civil offense. 

 

A sterne rebuke....but unfortunately needed to be said.

[MyFriend You]

2 hours ago, elgenon said:

Yes, A casual friend brought his elderly mom to CM from the US. He says she mostly stays home but is doing well. Haven't met her. Don't know if she had a house to sell but he harps on the idea the US economy is going to crash to dust. He has been saying this for years. He moved his assets into gold when gold was about $1600. His idea of building and selling expensive houses with a Thai partner is not going well.

Great financial move, gold down to $1300, pbly will tank out about $1100 by years end. 

[ttthailand]

OP i think you should keep your nose out of other peoples business.

So if an old lady asked for your help you would turn your back on her ? Letting her family know that there is a situation going on and having them sort it out was a very responsible thing to do. This guy is a real man unlike others who would turn a blind eye.

[NickJ]

My Mom came over here at 70. She was pretty much alone. Banging around a 4500 Sq ft home. She had nice neighbors. As for relatives, they were far and few between. She was wanted over here and the only stipulation was that she didn't want to live in Bkk. I had,  through my company bought land and ended up building a nice house in a beautiful beach area a few years earlier than anticipated.  She loved it here. Walked, swam and read books daily. Traveled the country.  She had some golden years here. I would do it all over again.

As far as getting involved in the guys business. The only person qualified to answer that is the lady who moved back to Wales.

[khunPer]

Quote

My question to you is have you known any one particularly female relatives who are elderly to be able to settle in Thailand ? Say over 75yo, obviously Im  talking more about older women than men.

To answer OP:
I know some elderly women settled in Thailand. They got their family from home – or some of them – here. The ones I know seem to have a good life and be happy, but it's probably individual and depending on number of circumstances; like family/relatives here, possibilities for friends/network, and where you in Thailand you settle.

[Gecko123]

4 hours ago, charmonman said:

Where did he mention the son's name or the name or location of the bar (other than it being in Pattaya, which frankly doesn't narrow it down much)?

 

A man from Wales who owns a bar in Pattaya?  Whose 78 y/o mother recently came to visit for a  month long vacation? Whose mother sometimes sat at his bar drinking tea and doing crossword puzzles and complained about being homesick and having culture shock?  Who just banned a patron for meddling with his mother's holiday? Given that the bar owner, other bar patrons, friends of the bar owner and now hundreds of TV members have heard this story, I'd say there's a high probability that someone will recognize these details and bring this thread to the bar owner's attention. 

 

I just don't think that initially downplaying complaints from your elderly mother about homesickness and culture shock, or dragging your feet about accomodating her request to return home early (especially if considerable expenses might be incurred for changing hotel and air travel plans) rises to the level of elder abuse, and the OP should have deferred to the son's wishes that he butt out.