TGFs nephew stealing?

[tomyumchai]

4 hours ago, Macthehat said:

I think your a bit confused or maybe reading a different story ...I am not forgetting I'm a guest ..partner Yes..guest not  I am not staying with my GFs aunt ... I have paid for numerous upgrades and renovations and all the bills ... I pay all . Does this make me a guest ? Not sure what your wife/ girlfriend thinks of you but I would like to think mine thought more of me than a guest . Thanks for your concern but please read all I wrote before giving me your masterplan . 

Dude, step outside the door, pick some dirt up and let it trickle through your fingers. Do you own that dirt or the house on which it sits? The house youre paying for? Youre a guest, a paying but expendible guest, end.

[Deepinthailand]

Don't get confrontational with him pointless he will run and tell Aunty and I'm afraid you will be the loser everyone.  My advise ignore him completely as he seems to be doing with you. Lock all money away at all times lock your bedroom if possible when your not there. Only buy the beer you need leaving none he can take ciggies never leave them around only in your pocket. Food again leave next to nothing for him to eat. (All this is easy to do if your mrs is with you in it). He will soon get bored no money to nick no fags no booze. He will move on to leach elsewhere.

[Deepinthailand]

7 minutes ago, tomyumchai said:

Dude, step outside the door, pick some dirt up and let it trickle through your fingers. Do you own that dirt or the house on which it sits? The house youre paying for? Youre a guest, a paying but expendible guest, end.

Garbage

[teacherpaul]

On 01/10/2016 at 3:09 AM, YeahSiam said:

I don't think it is

I think it's realistic advice

No. It's terrible advice. Firstly you seem to be condoning the fact that she would choose her loser of a nephew over her husband. Then, to add insult to injury, you suggest the OP moves on, completely forgetting the fact that they have a newborn baby. 

 

Do us a favour, never become a marriage guidance councillor. Your advice is about as useful as an ash-tray on a motorbike.

[YeahSiam]

1 hour ago, teacherpaul said:

No. It's terrible advice. Firstly you seem to be condoning the fact that she would choose her loser of a nephew over her husband. Then, to add insult to injury, you suggest the OP moves on, completely forgetting the fact that they have a newborn baby. 

 

Do us a favour, never become a marriage guidance councillor. Your advice is about as useful as an ash-tray on a motorbike.

Hmm you're a bit of a drama queen aren't you?

For many Thais, family means more than a relationship with a farang - whether you, I or the gatepost approve or not, it's a fact and in this case, the nephew's parent has moved on and she feels an obligation to him

With regard to my suggestion that he move on, it's a fair bit of advice considering he's particularly upset about the situation he's in. If he wasn't, I wouldn't have suggested it.

Even if he was to ship out, he can easily continue to support his child and take an active part in its upbringing, something millions of people around the world do

[FritsSikkink]

11 hours ago, Macthehat said:

I think your a bit confused or maybe reading a different story ...I am not forgetting I'm a guest ..partner Yes..guest not  I am not staying with my GFs aunt ... I have paid for numerous upgrades and renovations and all the bills ... I pay all . Does this make me a guest ? Not sure what your wife/ girlfriend thinks of you but I would like to think mine thought more of me than a guest . Thanks for your concern but please read all I wrote before giving me your masterplan . 

You are confused, that you pay for the bills now and for upgrade still doesn't make it your house. Get your own house like I said before.

[pigeonjake]

i have to agree with a lot of the other posters,

i too would say to the girl friend, wife or whatever, we are moving, it will be cheeper in the long run to go and rent a house away from them all,

why should you have to put up with this,? in you own country he would get a smack, well he would in mine, but that can cause a lot of trouble here, so best to like i say move on, with your wife and child, if she dosnt want to go, well then she has made her choise, and you just go,

like some one else said you can see and support your child,

 

rent a nice house close to a nice school and youll be far happier, no more doing up some one elses house,? whats all that about?

 

hope it works out for you,

 

jake

[NanLaew]

4 hours ago, teacherpaul said:

No. It's terrible advice. Firstly you seem to be condoning the fact that she would choose her loser of a nephew over her husband. Then, to add insult to injury, you suggest the OP moves on, completely forgetting the fact that they have a newborn baby. 

 

Do us a favour, never become a marriage guidance councillor. Your advice is about as useful as an ash-tray on a motorbike.

Here's a 'what if' scenario for you. The OP and his partners nephew are seriously injured in a bad car accident. Both are rushed to hospital, both ultimately need life-support but there's only one such system in the ICU. Who gets it?

 

The concept of adding insult to injury is not a Thai paradigm.

[daveAustin]

Not trying to make judgement on shacking up with a bird with previous kid and then having your own kid with her while only spending a few months of the year here (I'm sorry, but why would you even do that bearing in mind these factors?), but I think you're stuffed on this issue unless you move everyone out. Family home plus Thais are obligated to take care of their blood no matter how deadbeat an individual may be. If you do boot him out, it'll likely create hassle with your woman. Each to their own, but I would personally never set up shop near the in-laws/family home (and they are generally decent); just opens you up to piss taking that would go against the grain of your upbringing. Another than moving and setting up everything for your woman and kid (but then you're only here for a short time), I don't know what else to suggest. Best of luck.

[KarenBravo]

No, he's not "stuffed".

If you had read through this thread, you would know that the OP's problem has been solved.

The nephew has gone.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

With all due respect,and i'm not taking the piss,please understand that.However,you are sure that this 'nephew' really is her nephew.

I assume that you pay all the bills? and you are not married to this girl? If it were me i would simply tell her that i was moving out,all the bill payments would stop and give her a time limit to kick his lazy arse out of it.

The only other way is to buy a small safe and a 2nd fridge that you can put a chain around it and lock it.Put all your pocket money in the safe.Let the gf do what she wants with hers,and see how long she stands this <deleted> stealing from her.Also i assume your bedroom has a lockable door on it.If not,then make it so.If you have a motorbike in the yard,put a chain and lock around the front wheel.If you have a car,Make sure the alarm is always on.Make sure that your Passport is locked away,along with credit cards and bank cards/ATM's.

Only do your shopping for the day and keep all other food locked away from him.Keep your fags in your bedroom and your booze in the locked fridge.

This guy is a parasite and an opportunist.The longer he can ponce off of you,the longer he will stay.You have to starve him of his freebies and.The drugs will be a problem,'cos when he guesses you've sussed him,he may get nasty.

Its unfortunate,but you have to do these things to help your gf make a decision.

If,and after he's gone,change your locks and lock your windows,he will have no doubt had a key cut for your front door by now.

Also remember,that if he gets too comfortable,the next thing will be him inviting his friends around for a drugee evening with your booze as an extra.

I do, wish you the very best of luck.

[Gecko123]

22 hours ago, red roger said:

Quite agree. As for the poster inferring that you're "retarded " to live there.  Well, the milk of human kindness rarely visits him/her. 

 

I just stumbled across your post which I got a chuckle out of. I'm the poster who called the OP "kind of retarded" for moving into that house. Anyway, I'm not sure if you understand the OP's living situation. 

 

The OP said he and his girlfriend were living in the "family home." I took that to mean that he was living in his girlfriend's parent's house. If that's where he's living, the parents (if they're still alive), all of his girlfriend's siblings, along with all of her siblings children, typically have an unstated right to live there. It's not unlike your parent's house in the West; most parents back home put out the welcome mat for their kids when they are in town, or need a place to stay during periods of transition.

 

Certainly, my wife's family house is like that. People come and go, stay for a while, sometimes for a long while. Some of my wife's siblings when they reached adulthood even built a structure of one sort or another adjacent to the parent's house in order to crash in. Nieces and nephews who moved away for long periods of time due to employment or marriage, can suddenly reappear after decades when they get divorced, are in between jobs, or just stop working. It's essentially an open door policy. The parent's children and their children's children never seem to lose the right to stay in that house. In a very real sense, in the eyes of a Thai family, an unmarried boyfriend (especially a foreigner) living in the family house is more of an squatter than the nephew! By blood rights, I suspect many of the OP's girlfriend's Thai family members would say the nephew has more of a right to stay there than the boyfriend. 

 

Because of that free flowing open door policy, I couldn't imagine living in a family homestead home, even if my life depended on it. Nor have I ever heard of a foreign guy moving into or wanting to move into a family homestead home, unless, of course, if she had formally inherited the house. Loss of personal privacy being a prime reason why no one would want to do it. My retarded comment wasn't meant as a put down. Maybe a little caustic, but by TV standards, pretty mild. No offense intended. I just wanted to convey that in hindsight it probably wasn't the smartest move, and I think the OP's finding out now why that's the case. 

Edited October 4, 2016 by Gecko123

[teacherpaul]

15 hours ago, tomyumchai said:

Dude, step outside the door, pick some dirt up and let it trickle through your fingers. Do you own that dirt or the house on which it sits? The house youre paying for? Youre a guest, a paying but expendible guest, end.

I wonder if you would say that if this was happening to you. Utter misguided hypocrisy.

[Pik]

There is only One solution. Live ASAP and forget. Nothing You Do Will Be Good Enough If the Relationship Isn't Right ... no amount of trying...  I left isaan and have New Happy Stressless life. No Regrets 

[Think2Mutt]

I'm sorry to tell you this but the cold,hard truth is that you should start with a DNA test for your baby,it's common for Thai girls to have live in lovers/husbands in their foreign lover/husbands house.This has all the hallmarks of one of those stories I doubt very much if he really is just a nephew or relative at all,you are just another foreigner being played for a fool get the test done a.s.a.p.
(P.S. The 'attitude' that you describe is generally because he is the boyfriend/husband and father of the child not you and of course everybody knows this but you!)

[pigeonjake]

36 minutes ago, Think2Mutt said:

I'm sorry to tell you this but the cold,hard truth is that you should start with a DNA test for your baby,it's common for Thai girls to have live in lovers/husbands in their foreign lover/husbands house.This has all the hallmarks of one of those stories I doubt very much if he really is just a nephew or relative at all,you are just another foreigner being played for a fool get the test done a.s.a.p.
(P.S. The 'attitude' that you describe is generally because he is the boyfriend/husband and father of the child not you and of course everybody knows this but you!)

joined on sunday and thats the best you can come up with,,pmsl,

start DNA honestly some on here,

[retoohs]

welcome to Thailand where people look after all family members good or bad because of a lack of social services. Don't go to the police, you will never be forgiven. , to him you are probably fair game.You are farang so must be wealthy. You need to find a way to relate to this guy and try and help him in front of the family rather than villainizing him

[Deepinthailand]

20 hours ago, Pik said:

There is only One solution. Live ASAP and forget. Nothing You Do Will Be Good Enough If the Relationship Isn't Right ... no amount of trying...  I left isaan and have New Happy Stressless life. No Regrets 

And Isan is much better for it to

[Deepinthailand]

12 hours ago, Think2Mutt said:

I'm sorry to tell you this but the cold,hard truth is that you should start with a DNA test for your baby,it's common for Thai girls to have live in lovers/husbands in their foreign lover/husbands house.This has all the hallmarks of one of those stories I doubt very much if he really is just a nephew or relative at all,you are just another foreigner being played for a fool get the test done a.s.a.p.
(P.S. The 'attitude' that you describe is generally because he is the boyfriend/husband and father of the child not you and of course everybody knows this but you!)

What are you on ya ba

[Macthehat]

On 03/10/2016 at 1:37 PM, cyberfarang said:

1 hour ago, Deepinthailand said:

What are you on ya ba 

 

 

 

 

Gotta love this place ... now I've forgotten all my troubles and come here for a laugh 555 

 

[Macthehat]

14 hours ago, Think2Mutt said:

I'm sorry to tell you this but the cold,hard truth is that you should start with a DNA test for your baby,it's common for Thai girls to have live in lovers/husbands in their foreign lover/husbands house.This has all the hallmarks of one of those stories I doubt very much if he really is just a nephew or relative at all,you are just another foreigner being played for a fool get the test done a.s.a.p.
(P.S. The 'attitude' that you describe is generally because he is the boyfriend/husband and father of the child not you and of course everybody knows this but you!)

This is turning into a soap opera ... great reading but .... it's ok don't worry the baby has ginger hair and cornflake freckles just like his daddy 555

[Think2Mutt]

43 minutes ago, Macthehat said:

This is turning into a soap opera ... great reading but .... it's ok don't worry the baby has ginger hair and cornflake freckles just like his daddy 555

I know a Thai girl very well with red hair and freckles but good luck with little Somchai anyway and the erm, 'nephew'!

[tomyumchai]

On Monday, October 03, 2016 at 6:01 PM, Deepinthailand said:

Garbage

Yeah ok, you can actually own your own garbage, if that makes you feel better

[llso]

On 10/4/2016 at 3:22 PM, Think2Mutt said:

I'm sorry to tell you this but the cold,hard truth is that you should start with a DNA test for your baby,it's common for Thai girls to have live in lovers/husbands in their foreign lover/husbands house.This has all the hallmarks of one of those stories I doubt very much if he really is just a nephew or relative at all,you are just another foreigner being played for a fool get the test done a.s.a.p.
(P.S. The 'attitude' that you describe is generally because he is the boyfriend/husband and father of the child not you and of course everybody knows this but you!)

 

I am by no means suggesting that this is the case of the original poster. I think most people have a pretty good feel whether a child is theirs or not. That having been said in my 7 years of living in Thailand I knew of two instances where a Thai woman had a Thai boyfriend/husband living in the house with a Farang that he built and being passed off as a brother or relative. As this poster suggested everyone knew the truth except the Farang. One way I found out was that I speak and understand Thai very well and overheard the Thais joking about it. In another instance my wife told me.

[Macthehat]

On 05/10/2016 at 3:22 AM, Think2Mutt said:

49 minutes ago, llso said:

 

I am by no means suggesting that this is the case of the original poster. I think most people have a pretty good feel whether a child is theirs or not. That having been said in my 7 years of living in Thailand I knew of two instances where a Thai woman had a Thai boyfriend/husband living in the house with a Farang that he built and being passed off as a brother or relative. As this poster suggested everyone knew the truth except the Farang. One way I found out was that I speak and understand Thai very well and overheard the Thais joking about it. In another instance my wife told me.

Kinda hard to ignore all the family photos of him from a young age and meeting his father who showed me more photos and seeing his ID card ... then again there's always photoshop  and forgery.   

 Anyways he's gone after refusing a handout to go look work in Bangkok. And get some help with rehab . Locks all changed and bedroom emptied ... now the place is sheer bliss without the grief and worry .

Thanks for all the advice and the humour along the way ....I think we can put this 1 down as a success story for TVF .

Edited October 8, 2016 by Macthehat
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