hi all,

thanks for the replies,cant seem to post in the previous thread

to be honest I am extremly unhappy in the relationship with the mother and am only with her due to the child,

so if the child isnt mine...

should I look after the child? i dunno if she is not mine then why should I? i have been lied to ?

but then the child would suffer

will let the forum know how I get on with the dna test some time soon

thanks

It was closed due to some members taking it off course. So a reminder to other posters to keep it on topic.

pepsij007,

When you are thinking about having been lied to it probably makes you upset and want to do something about it....maybe a touch of revenge or maybe just to withdraw in whatever way possible. This is fine but remember that most of your life is not made up of this negative stuff...perhaps you have bond with this child regardless of whose dna made it and it could be to YOUR detriment to throw away this closeness (and to the child's detriment as well) and it seems that it would be foolish to do this just because at this point in time you feel hurt.

But on the other hand perhaps you have not bonded or I am over-rating the effects that breaking this bond would have....or the pain of continuing to support a child who has none of your dna would be worse then the loss of the relationship with the child. I am not trying to convince you to continue supporting this child but only to give you a different persepective to help you evaluate how it might affect your future life....or not.

I guess the bottom line is that sometimes people make decisions in the heat of the moment and they end up making the wrong decision for thier long term well being so its good to avoid making important decisions when reacting to negative conditions in the present...or at least to acknowledge that the negative conditions might be clouding judgement.

Chownah

Best of luck to you. You are in one of life's great dilemmas.