How to make "meeting the parents" in Isaan perfect?

[alantheembalmer]

He has something in common with Dad already; as he is a West Ham fan, he obviously doesn't appreciate football either.

[neeray]

That was a fun topic. Thanks OP. 

What a hoot the answers were. 

Gold only came up once and nobody mentioned the sick buffalo 

or "brother" thing. 

[electric]

Getting back on topic. Presumably the daughter has told her parents that she's coming home with new farang boyfriend. Like all parents worldwide, they'll no doubt be intrigued to meet this character. 

 

Mum ... "He looks not too bad. Got hair, reasonable teeth, clean clothes. What job does he do ?"

Daughter ... "He digs oil in the sea. Gets 300,000 baht every month ... by the way Mum, I'm pregnant to him."

Mum ... "WooooHooooooooo."

[khunPer]

Why don't your friend just ask advises from his Isaan-Thai GF..?

[mettech]

Do not try to impress them not to forget you are a farang and there girl is worth lots of gold so what ever you would try to say will go in the wind but the money sign will always be there.

Have a good time and a short one if you get frutrated by not knowing what they say,

 

[Kabula]

Send money to the parents - then have her call the parents and tell them his mom is ill and he has to leave for a few weeks!

 

Keep giving excuses as the relationship might not last too long!

 

In time after she has a proven to be honest, loyal and a good mother, and her father has put the shotgun in a locked gun safe, it's time to meet them.

[jippytum]

Just as important as meet 'The Fockers ' it would be wise to have  have a good exit strategy .  You may be able to leave with some dignity

and some of your savings intact .Anyway good luck .

[Get Real]

18 hours ago, anthos said:

 

We have just been told by another Issan native that flowers are not seen as a normal gesture of politness there and don't count as a gift because "you can't eat them".

But the mobile phone is going to be easy to swallow, I hope. If not that one is appearently not a gift either.
Tip! Use dad´s hammer to beat it in to small pieces.

[sendintheclowns]

18 hours ago, anthos said:

 

We have just been told by another Issan native that flowers are not seen as a normal gesture of politness there and don't count as a gift because "you can't eat them".

Not quite in the circumstances you mention. but we bought some flowers to the hospital for  a sick Thai friend. Told no way' flowers are for when someone, they die'.

on a more realistic note, the bigger (read, more expensive) gift he brings, it is likely he is raising the bar for expectations for future gifts. A bottle of Thai brandy should be the max. Preferably, with a case of beer. 

 

Otherwise, Thaibeachloverss has covered the rest of whats needed. Especially the small room.

We had a German friend, with long-time Thia girlfriend visited our area (shes from here). Rented a decent sized 2 br house for a long stay, as they set about building a house.

Family descended on them, totally mess, every day. 

The relationship fell apart, after 3 months of the girlfriend cleaning up after her family (not knowing how  say no and not willing to take sides with the German man.) .

Very sad, really - they were perfectly happy, until they rented too large a house.

[boomerangutang]

      Several times,  I've met parents of prospective Thai g.f.'s.  I've vowed not to do it again.  To me, it's a waste of time.  We sit around for long periods of time, being polite.  Sorry folks, I've got other things I'd rather be doing.  For most of you guys reading this, you're probably thinking the requirement (to franternize with her parents) is worth it.  Good for you, I guess.  Maybe you'll grow out of that perception.

 

           That's part of the reason I'm single.   I don't mind being single.  Thais don't understand that concept.  They think everyone who is not a devout monk or nun, must go crazy if they're not tight with a lover.

 

 

[sead]

I started to write  a long description,  sorry i meant sentence about it but somehow i know he's already screwed so I'll just won't write further

[atyclb]

hire an interpreter and impress him by discussing genetically modified bananas and watermelon. ask him why or why not he feels the way he does about it. ask him pro's vs con's

Edited November 28, 2016 by atyclb

[sead]

4 minutes ago, Johnniey said:

Just think the hundreds of interesting conversations you've missed out on.

Just think of the freedom you would have had  mouth having to take your wife everywhere with you,  to buy s new car,  get it fixed,  cheap things elsewhere etc etc etc.

Integrate and be free, not an illiterate slave.

Should i read this ironically?

[bushdoctor]

Anyone that needs advice on how to meet his girlfriends family is at a huge disadvantage already. How would he do it in his country? I would not start off by setting a bar that I will be buying things and giving money. He needs to take control of himself and not worry. 

[Johnniey]

7 minutes ago, atyclb said:

hire an interpreter and impress him by discussing genetically modified bananas and watermelon. ask him why or why not he feels the way he does about it. ask him pro's vs con's

Learn the language, not doing so  is the number one reason they won't like him.

Imagine if you had a daughter,  who took a Saudi Arabian home,  he had lived in your country for  say 2  years and couldn't speak your language,  but instead made  silly smiles and said, sanook, sabai  and poom pui  every 10  minutes.

[NickJ]

The train never ends...Best answer,  Don't ever go.

Isaan parents greeting the new family pet. A living, Breathing. friendly...Atm machine.

Nurture it. Smile.  they flourish on empathy. and fake features of respect. HOWEVER.... when they mature. they need to be dealt with in the harshest terms. 

Sadly. there terms have lessened a bit with the Internet. 

[Johnniey]

7 minutes ago, sead said:

Should i read this ironically?

Read it from someone who had lived here over three decades  and seen a lot.

The lonely old guys who die  so lonely,  with 6  people at their funeral.

The guys who need their wives to order their dinner.

The ones  that are verbally raped,  when by themselves.

[Johnniey]

1 minute ago, NickJ said:

The train never ends...Best answer,  Don't ever go.

Isaan parents greeting the new family pet. A living, Breathing. friendly...Atm machine.

Nurture it. Smile.  they flourish on empathy. and fake features of respect. HOWEVER.... when they mature. they need to be dealt with in the harshest terms. 

Sadly. there terms have lessened a bit with the Internet. 

There are some very nice idarn parents, very very  nice.  It's the  ones the same age as them,  dressed in  chang shirts and wearing a Buddha amulet who say aroi aroi, while laughing that are the  ones who need to wise up.

[NickJ]

Sure....sure...sure age matters.

[wildewillie89]

5 minutes ago, Johnniey said:

Read it from someone who had lived here over three decades  and seen a lot.

The lonely old guys who die  so lonely,  with 6  people at their funeral.

The guys who need their wives to order their dinner.

The ones  that are verbally raped,  when by themselves.

Language isn't always possible for everyone, especially a tone language. Some adults have the ability to learn it and some don't. Doesn't mean they're stupid, they just don't have that ability in their make up. Language doesnt help a whole lot. Generally acting gets someone through life here, or extremely limited English. Yeah, if you want to be famous on Youtube, go learn Thai. Apart from Youtube, how often do people need to speak Thai? Generally they have their friends who speak English or they stick to themselves and are obviously happy doing that or they would take their wife to their own country. As for the funeral, youre dead. Who cares how many come lol. My wedding was 700 odd people, would have preferred 7. 

 

As for the verbal raping....is it a raping when the person doesnt actually understand what is going on? From what i have heard from people who speak Thai is not to learn it. It will drive you insane if you actually have to understand what people are saying. For example, I had my appendix out last week and a Thai person commented ''do farang have an appendix too?''. 

[atyclb]

39 minutes ago, Johnniey said:

Learn the language, not doing so  is the number one reason they won't like him.

Imagine if you had a daughter,  who took a Saudi Arabian home,  he had lived in your country for  say 2  years and couldn't speak your language,  but instead made  silly smiles and said, sanook, sabai  and poom pui  every 10  minutes.

 

as a father i would place how my daughter feels about the man higher than his language ability in my mother tongue.

[Wanderer555]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Doing stuff makes no difference. I did that, but the only response I got ( via my wife ) was that they didn't ask me to do it, and didn't see any need to thank me. I'm sure they would have loved me if I gave over the readies, till they ran out,

This may be true in some families, and given their response to me at times, it was something I wondered about myself, but I was proved wrong.
 

As an example, a couple of months after arriving I offered to refinish a teak table the FIL uses when he meets with clients in his home, (he is a lawyer, and a truly solid caring individual). A few weeks later, the table was returned to them looking better than new, (a proper multi-coat varnish finish), and was received with a very muted 'thank you'.
 

A month or so later, my wife informed me that both her father and mother now saw the table as a source of pride and while showing it off to clients and personal visitors, often mentioning how their son in-law, a foreigner, did it for them.

 

At the end of the day, they were very thankful, but they just show it in a different way than we do in the west...

 

Edited November 28, 2016 by Wanderer555

[55Jay]

One of these would work well.

 

[Gracas]

He can start off by telling the Dad,     Look I'm just bringing this one back, she already has a bun in the oven. Do you have another daughter?

Regarding the phone, I'm sure its for the "brother", next he will be needing a new truck so a good opportunity to find out what type he likes.

[anthos]

3 hours ago, alantheembalmer said:

He has something in common with Dad already; as he is a West Ham fan, he obviously doesn't appreciate football either.

 

Ouch, this one is going hurt him 

[bark]

Better to dress like poor Farang. And tell the parents, he has 4 other kids in home country.

 

[anthos]

1 hour ago, bushdoctor said:

Anyone that needs advice on how to meet his girlfriends family is at a huge disadvantage already.

 

6 hours ago, louse1953 said:

Can't your "friend"write for himself.

 

He can't be bothered to post here really and feels good about the trip anyway.

It was meant to be a fun topic rather than an eye opening warming of extortion.

I plan to email the link to him today so he can have fun reading it on the way there.

[lungnorm]

Now you know how your G/F learned about peeling Banana's. One skin, two skin, three skin, aah fourskin. Just send them money for a new car, and get a new house built for them and Skype them from Phuket before actually visiting them.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, Johnniey said:

Just think the hundreds of interesting conversations you've missed out on.

Just think of the freedom you would have had  mouth having to take your wife everywhere with you,  to buy s new car,  get it fixed,  cheap things elsewhere etc etc etc.

Integrate and be free, not an illiterate slave.

Buy a car, in LOS! .

I use her m'bike and when I get a puncture I take it to the nearest bike repair shop and point at the wheel. No problem.

 

Interesting conversations . My ( ex ) wife speaks excellent English and I never had an "interesting" conversation with her. Her interests are family, food and friends. Hint, I didn't marry her for her conversational skills. I come on TVF for interesting conversations.

 

Buy cheap stuff. No problem. Big C has sales staff that speak English.

 

I am integrated to the amount I wish to be.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, sendintheclowns said:

Not quite in the circumstances you mention. but we bought some flowers to the hospital for  a sick Thai friend. Told no way' flowers are for when someone, they die'.

on a more realistic note, the bigger (read, more expensive) gift he brings, it is likely he is raising the bar for expectations for future gifts. A bottle of Thai brandy should be the max. Preferably, with a case of beer. 

 

Otherwise, Thaibeachloverss has covered the rest of whats needed. Especially the small room.

We had a German friend, with long-time Thia girlfriend visited our area (shes from here). Rented a decent sized 2 br house for a long stay, as they set about building a house.

Family descended on them, totally mess, every day. 

The relationship fell apart, after 3 months of the girlfriend cleaning up after her family (not knowing how  say no and not willing to take sides with the German man.) .

Very sad, really - they were perfectly happy, until they rented too large a house.

The relationship fell apart, after 3 months of the girlfriend cleaning up after her family (not knowing how  say no and not willing to take sides with the German man.) .

 

That's the crux of it. My wife would never stand up for me against any of her family, despite some of them making my life a misery.

After we moved to the village, which I initially welcomed, one of the nephews was given an electric bass guitar which he practiced till after midnight every night. Anyone hearing a bass guitar being practiced for hours knows how I felt. Unfortunately she would never tell him to stop at a reasonable hour, like 8 pm, despite my unhappiness. When I said it was either the practice or me, it was the practice that won and we moved. Crazy.