Please Think Twice Before Bringing That Thai Girl Out Of Her Own Country

[Neeranam]

A spoke little English and together with the cultural differences the farang soon fell in love with another English girl

Has anyone ever heard of an Englishman leaving his Thai wife for an Englishwoman?

[Boo]

errm yes.

[paulsmithson]

To all the guys who have read the original posting I state on my llife that the facts are as stated to myself and my Thai wife (who is not an ex bar girl and has a a Bsc earned here in the UK)This was earned in a language she did not speak when she emigrated here bedause I was fluent in Thai.

It took me many years of hard work to teach my own wife to speak English to the standard that she has now attained. The farang husband of this woman with a problem spoke no Thai and seemed uninterested in furthering her education here.

Sadly many Thai form into social ghettos and speak only Thai between themselves and their education in the use of English is very limited when doing restaurant work. I can understand this womans lack of any other than basic language skills.

Her son acting as an interpreter-thats a joke. He has been brought up speaking english and has forgotten most of the Thai he learned even to the extent that I can speak far better Thai than he can.

The son is now English through and through which only adds to this poor womans problems. Talking to her tonight she told me that she wished to return to her home but cannot leave her son behind alone. A mothers love.

To the OP who sought only to pick holes in the tale because iIsaid she had one son here in the uk yet had stated that her first thai husband had given her two kids-yes he kept the older one in Thailand with him. Please do not look for holes in a tale of such sadness ---It is factual and a real person has had her life devastated by the event I narrated.

To the guys who undertsand her predicament -even to the point where one indicated a wilingness to help raise her return fare to Thailand I say Thanks guys---Your humanity is alive and well.

She cannot return home so it is a thanks guys- but no thanks.

She is not the first case we have met like this. We do not judge girls who marry Farangs by their backgrounds. Not all bargirls are bad and the economic advantages of marriage to comparativey wealthy individuals are evident in all countries of this world.

To suggest that his girl shoud have acquired a knowledge of the social services here is pathetic.

the woman is not intelligent, but she does have many good qualities. She never lied to us about her background and so far has proved to be totally honest and a really good person.We have sought help from our MP and will not leave her alone to fight this battle.

It is far too much for a simple farm girl from Burriram to deal with alone.

She is very stressed now and her mind does not work as it should yet still she retains her dignity and pride as best she can.

The attitude of the Thai community here also disgusts me. Thais in Thailand are so nationalistic but the majority of them after arriving here are so anti their own type and love to see one of their own fall flat.

My wife says that this because so many are from a dubious background and so cannot be regarded in the same light as other Thais.

We have come across this s often and personally I wonder just how the guys can sleep at night knowing they have destoyed a fellow human being.

[bkkmadness]

Please do not look for holes in a tale of such sadness ---It is factual and a real person has had her life devastated by the event I narrated.

She never lied to us about her background and so far has proved to be totally honest and a really good person.

To be fair mate, you've only known her 2 weeks so unless you have had an extremely efficient private detective check her story out I'm not sure how you could say 100% you are sure this story is totally factual and the woman is totally honest. I'm guessing you haven't spoke to her husband either so maybe you don't want to judge him so quickly from the words of the kicked out spouse.

Benefit of doubt given though, good luck to the woman, sounds like a shitty situation. Why doesn't she divorce the husband and get some cash? Did she get married in the UK or in Thailand?

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Very sad and all too common story.

PM me with more details, my Brother is a human rights lawyer.

Good upon you Chon.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

errm yes.

[dutch]

It you are not willing (or not able) to invest in your (thai) wife,don't bring her.

The moment she arrives she has to go to school.

For that, a basic knowledge (simple) of English and writing (at least the alphabet),is necessary.

If not,for 95% forget it.

[sinsin2]

Having been happily married in the UK to the most marvellous Thai woman I have seen many Thai /English marriages go sadly wrong with extreme suffering for the Thai girl who has married a bad farang. In most cases we have been able to help, however our latest tale of woe exemplifies the worst of alL such situations.

Let us call this poor girl A to protect her a little ok.

We met A two weeks ago when the thai wife of another guy asked us if we could take her to the bus station to pick up an old friend who was now homeless. we did and I then met A and her 16 year old son B.They had nowhere to sleep that night and the Thai lady had been asked to give them a bed for the night, which she did.

Over the last two weeks I have come to learn A's story and I am shocked, horrified and totally disgusted by the way she has been treated by her now ex farang husband, the system here in the Uk and her fellow Thais.

A used to live in Buriram and her Thai husband gave her the usual two children then decided he was bored with her so he kicked her out. With no other means of support and a sister who had worked Pattaya and married a farang( not English) she sought and found work in the bar scene in Pattaya. There she met an Englishman who married her and took her and her 6 year son to England.

A spoke little English and together with the cultural differences the farang soon fell in love with another English girl, he eventually told his Thai wife to leave the home and take her son with her ( after 5 years)

.A asked her husband to pay her air fare home to Thailand but he refused telling her that she was a big girl now!

A did not know about divorce and getting half of the famiy home-she left with the trivial sum of a few thousand pounds she had managed to save from her work as a waitress in a local restaurant. She acquired a very cheap shop and lived over the shop and started her own restaurant with financial help from her sister who had a succesful farang marriage in europe.

A still loved her farang husband and trusted him where money was concerned. He used to visit her restaurant and borrow money and robbed her blind. The business failed.

A was in a mess, she now had a 10 year old son to support and no job, barely spoke the local language and had no home.

The local governement benefits agency did help but the benefits system is convoluted and she did not understand most of what the people there told her. the result of this was that A ended up living off a total income of £40 per week for everything----she could and should have got more but did not understand the systems here.

Still her ex husband refused to help her ( the bastard) and she sank deeper and deeper into debt borrowing from Thai friends, eating so little for herself in order to feed her son.

Winter came and she had no gas nor electric on in her flat due to unpaid bills. She had to resort to llighting a fire in pan to keep them warm.

Ultimately the expected happened and the flat caught fire and she was evicted. With no good command of English and three years of hel_l behind her she was ony able to tramp the streets daily with her son and knock on the doors of her Thai friends asking for a bed for the night. This obviously was not wanted by the Farang husbands of her Thai friends and she rarely stayed in the same place for more than a couple of nights.

Many nights she found nowhere to stay and slept on the streets at the mercy of all the low lifes who saw her there. Twice her 16 year old son was badly beaten and even knifed whilst trying to defend his mother from the unwanted attentions of scum.

Eventually they were taken into police custody and the boy taken into care and A left to fend for herself.

My own heart weeps when I hear her story. She has been living with myself and my wife for the last week now and her mental state is horrendous. She is nice person regardless of her origins and is totally stressed to the limit now. We shall do everything we can to make her life normal but it will take time.

She herself would like to return to Buriram but after 10 years here in the Uk her son is no longer Thai- He has english friends his own age and would not adapt to life in Thailand. A does not understand that there is help availabe for her-there is no social security in Thailand.

All that we can do is try our very best to give this precious person a chance to recover her strength and her mental faculties and hope that she can make a life for herself.

She is not the first we have come across in her situation and I doubt that she will be the last.

So please guys,when you meet and fall in love with that very sexy Thai girl and marry her and take her half way around the world to be your sex toy, remember that she too is a human being.

You cannot discard her like a used condom when you become bored because you find that you have little in common beyond the bedroom.

IF YOU MUST BRING THE GIRL OUT OF HER COUNTRY THEN PLEASE BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER AND SEND HER BACK HOME WITH AT LEAST ENOUGH TO START A NEW LIFE.

SHE IS HUMAN TOO!!!!!

TROLL

[kiakaha]

first of all, I admire you heart for helping someone in need.

secondly, just in case you thought that all thai females that emigrate are of this same demographic.....some guys also marry thai females who are educated,have professional careers and are fluent in English and able to integrate into their new society fully.

Yes, some guys...

A miniscule FEW. I am sure less than 1 % of the total. I know of NO Thai woman in my personal aquaintence, who could obtain a professsional well-paying job in my home country. It is hard enough for my own citizens to obtain such employment. SO THEREFORE, these woman are at the mercy of the cruel winds of fate and fortune in a foreign land. I hope the woman may have the opportunity to determine the stability of her relationship and the sincerity of her husband before going overseas to live with him. Unfortunately, often-times such is not practical.

It's a bit of a moot point, but I guess one's perspective on the matter is relative to who you know, associate with.

Personally the majority of non-thai guys I know in Bangkok and consider my friends/acquaintances (mostly met via work) are married to/in a realtionshp with thai women with professional and in many cases international careers.

[Neeranam]

I bet she could have survived in Buriram, with a sister married to a farang. I bet she saw her prostitute sister raking in the cash and got greedy - 'som nam na' (seves her right). The Thai husband probably didn't leave. Why do people believe these girls?

[terry57]

some one told me one time that bar girls never lie.

they only ever lie when they got there mouth open.

and dealing with farang customers.

this was from a private detective who was payed good money to investigate bar girls by there farang boy friends.

true story.

[ColPyat]

The attitude of the Thai community here also disgusts me. Thais in Thailand are so nationalistic but the majority of them after arriving here are so anti their own type and love to see one of their own fall flat.

My wife says that this because so many are from a dubious background and so cannot be regarded in the same light as other Thais.

Very true. After a few very bad incidents my wife does keep a huge distance from the Thai community when we are in the west, and we stick to my family and friends.

I don't doubt your story at all. Given the nature of many westerners (and Thai women) and the places they have met here this is just natural.

My aunt was a social worker in my place of birth and worked on many similar, and worse horror stories concerning Thai women. There are many who are forced by their amateur pimp husbands to work as hookers.

It's the opposite side of the coin we often get to read here on these internet boards how a Thai wife scammed her farang husband. Which is also very true.

The question is anyhow not to blame the women of her own mistakes, as so many posters seem to revel in here, but to find ways how she can be helped back on her feet within the British system. I would prefer to read here more posts giving advice on that issue, and not the mass of completely useless accusations of the usual internet amateur sleuths.

[StateSix]

To all the guys who have read the original posting I state on my llife that the facts are as stated to myself and my Thai wife (who is not an ex bar girl and has a a Bsc earned here in the UK)This was earned in a language she did not speak when she emigrated here bedause I was fluent in Thai.

It took me many years of hard work to teach my own wife to speak English to the standard that she has now attained. The farang husband of this woman with a problem spoke no Thai and seemed uninterested in furthering her education here.

Sadly many Thai form into social ghettos and speak only Thai between themselves and their education in the use of English is very limited when doing restaurant work. I can understand this womans lack of any other than basic language skills.

Her son acting as an interpreter-thats a joke. He has been brought up speaking english and has forgotten most of the Thai he learned even to the extent that I can speak far better Thai than he can.

The son is now English through and through which only adds to this poor womans problems. Talking to her tonight she told me that she wished to return to her home but cannot leave her son behind alone. A mothers love.

To the OP who sought only to pick holes in the tale because iIsaid she had one son here in the uk yet had stated that her first thai husband had given her two kids-yes he kept the older one in Thailand with him. Please do not look for holes in a tale of such sadness ---It is factual and a real person has had her life devastated by the event I narrated.

To the guys who undertsand her predicament -even to the point where one indicated a wilingness to help raise her return fare to Thailand I say Thanks guys---Your humanity is alive and well.

She cannot return home so it is a thanks guys- but no thanks.

She is not the first case we have met like this. We do not judge girls who marry Farangs by their backgrounds. Not all bargirls are bad and the economic advantages of marriage to comparativey wealthy individuals are evident in all countries of this world.

To suggest that his girl shoud have acquired a knowledge of the social services here is pathetic.

the woman is not intelligent, but she does have many good qualities. She never lied to us about her background and so far has proved to be totally honest and a really good person.We have sought help from our MP and will not leave her alone to fight this battle.

It is far too much for a simple farm girl from Burriram to deal with alone.

She is very stressed now and her mind does not work as it should yet still she retains her dignity and pride as best she can.

The attitude of the Thai community here also disgusts me. Thais in Thailand are so nationalistic but the majority of them after arriving here are so anti their own type and love to see one of their own fall flat.

My wife says that this because so many are from a dubious background and so cannot be regarded in the same light as other Thais.

We have come across this s often and personally I wonder just how the guys can sleep at night knowing they have destoyed a fellow human being.

Still find the story hard to believe, and you never answered the main issue I raised, the fact that the timeline of the story doesnt seem to fit.

Anyway, to be constructive, the first thing to do is for you or your wife to accompany her to your local Department of Work and Pensions office to look at what benefits and options are available to her, and to ensure she receives them. You can help translate for her, and explain things to her. They can also help her find accomodation and, more importantly, employment.

Next speak to a solicitor (who specialises in immigration services), or the local Citizens Advice Bureau for advice on how she can get her son back from social services. She can also get advice on divorcing her husband and getting what she is legally entitled to.

Speak to a Thai embassy. They are there to offer advice to Thai nationals and could direct to her to a support group.

Is she legally in the country? That needs ascertaining also.

These are basic things that you could have done already, and much more helpful to her than telling her tale on here, and acting so superior and saint-like. ("My wife is not an ex-bg and has a BSc", "we do not judge girls who marry Farangs by their backgrounds", "she is not intelligent", "It is far too much for a simple farm girl from Burriram to deal with alone" and many other quotes of the same ilk).

[Boo]

As I already advised, the citizens advice is the first stop. They can collate all information & get the relevant departments to contact her (you, your wife) for all the problems this women faces. Trying to navigate the system yourself willbe time consuiming, The CAB are paid to help assist & advise instead, so use them.

[VanZam]

Her son acting as an interpreter-thats a joke. He has been brought up speaking english and has forgotten most of the Thai he learned even to the extent that I can speak far better Thai than he can.

So the mother speaks very little English, and her son speaks no Thai.. errmmm yeah whatever, that statement alone makes this story look like total rubbish.

[Jonson83]

Her son acting as an interpreter-thats a joke. He has been brought up speaking english and has forgotten most of the Thai he learned even to the extent that I can speak far better Thai than he can.

So the mother speaks very little English, and her son speaks no Thai.. errmmm yeah whatever, that statement alone makes this story look like total rubbish.

Missed that bit!!

How the <deleted>@k do they communicate then!?! Maybe they grunt at each other like cavemen

This ship is sinking fast......

Troll maybe?

Edited December 7, 2006 by Jonson83

[paulsmithson]

Latest update on A. took her to the Jobcentre today. She does want to work and now at least she will have access to some money whilst she is looking for work.

Have been in contact with her former social services care assistant -

She told me that ALL THAI WOMEN ARE PROSTITUTES. <deleted>!!!!!!!! She said that she had visited Thailand and been to Pattaya and so is now an expert oon Thai culture eh?

contacted the local council and found out that she owes thousands in rates for her former restaurant premises plus rent for the time she and her son were living in so called sheltered accommodation.

A tells me that the same woman who told me that all thai women are prostitutes was the person who helped fill in A's forms for benefits claims. Next step is to get her benefit history from the government and find out what was claimed and not claimed and when

Obviously A was entitled to more than she received here.

The so called social worker calling all Thai women prostitutes leads me to wonder what went on there, and could have some very interesting consequences for that woman too.

Thanks to all the guys who think this is troll and simply seek to pick holes in the tale.My wife and I are working our <deleted> off here trying to help this lost soul.

Her Thai son was 6 years old when he camt to the UK and has forgotten most of his own language-He has llived as an Engish lad and adapted to life here. He worries about his mother.

He is now in care and may have a future thanks to the social workers.

The benefits system here simply seems to have failed this woman.the start of this post may reveal why ultimately. If what I now suspect happened has actually been the case I will ensure that this particular social worker is soon out of a job.

The girl herslf seems to have no hard feelings against her former farang husband and I am certainly not gunning for him at all. He never thought his marriage would go wrong when he married this woman.

All I am saying is that marriage is not to be entered into lightly as being a temporary state and that when things go wrong the consequences can be very terrible for any man or woman. they are usually far worse for a woman in a country thousands of miles from family and friends especially if they do neither speak the host country's language well and are not too bright( we are not all equal but we are all human)

[Don Quixote]

It's hard to know if you are being straight with us or not. In another thread you gave one member here the following advice.

She is gonna screw you good,been to Australia -how and why?

Australian boyfriend for sure--Kidney problems from having too much sex with too many Farangs.

###### her off now. Been there and done it all and got screwed ! cost me my life savings and my retirement prospects

[bkkmadness]

Latest update on A. took her to the Jobcentre today. She does want to work and now at least she will have access to some money whilst she is looking for work.

Have been in contact with her former social services care assistant -

She told me that ALL THAI WOMEN ARE PROSTITUTES. <deleted>!!!!!!!! She said that she had visited Thailand and been to Pattaya and so is now an expert oon Thai culture eh?

contacted the local council and found out that she owes thousands in rates for her former restaurant premises plus rent for the time she and her son were living in so called sheltered accommodation.

A tells me that the same woman who told me that all thai women are prostitutes was the person who helped fill in A's forms for benefits claims. Next step is to get her benefit history from the government and find out what was claimed and not claimed and when

Obviously A was entitled to more than she received here.

The so called social worker calling all Thai women prostitutes leads me to wonder what went on there, and could have some very interesting consequences for that woman too.

You might want to look into making formal complaint against the social care worker on the grounds of racism. It 'may' give you a little extra leverage when filing for back claim benefits that she could well be entitled to. Besides, she deserves the complaint anyway.

[Jonson83]

'Her Thai son was 6 years old when he camt to the UK and has forgotten most of his own language-He has llived as an Engish lad and adapted to life here. He worries about his mother.

He is now in care and may have a future thanks to the social workers.'

How can a young kid 'forget' his native tongue when it is the only <deleted> language that his mother speaks!

Your either bullsh@tting this forum or 'Miss A' is bullsh@tting you.

Earlier i thought it was the latter but judging from your comments on the other thread......

Edited December 7, 2006 by Jonson83

[DragonLad]

Have been in contact with her former social services care assistant -

She told me that ALL THAI WOMEN ARE PROSTITUTES. <deleted>!!!!!!!!

Luckily I wasn't standing in front of this social services care assistant

She would be laying on the floor

Edited December 7, 2006 by DragonLad

[terrydxn]

Get your solicitor to make a formal compliant against the social worker and have her declare bankruptcy to clear all her depts/ tax problems etc,

[girlx]

being an open forum people can write anything cant they? does'nt mean its all true.

exactly, but why does it matter if it is true or not anyway? even if it is a hypothetical story it can still be discussed rationally.

[Doza]

when things go wrong the consequences can be very terrible for any man or woman. they are usually far worse for a woman in a country thousands of miles from family and friends

Unless she can claim benefits from the government. Unlike men who come to Thailand and get screwed over thousands of miles from family and friends and are left with little (sometimes not even a couple of thousand pounds like this woman!)

[meemiathai]

How can a young kid 'forget' his native tongue when it is the only <deleted> language that his mother speaks!

you r too stupid to understand this

[meemiathai]

The OP is a troll unless he changes the victim to the farang man.

Some of the posts make me sick, people here think that it is always the thai girl playing the farang around whilst in reality so many thai girls who are married to farang land are being tortured by their farang husbands. Physically and mentally.

Some of you guys don't seem like a man to me. The fact that you have to look for every excuse to let yourselves look like the victim. Wake up!

I have seen a lot of cases already myself. Of course some of them include chinese men.

And girlx, I agree with you.

[meemiathai]

Her son acting as an interpreter-thats a joke. He has been brought up speaking english and has forgotten most of the Thai he learned even to the extent that I can speak far better Thai than he can.

So the mother speaks very little English, and her son speaks no Thai.. errmmm yeah whatever, that statement alone makes this story look like total rubbish.

Missed that bit!!

How the <deleted>@k do they communicate then!?! Maybe they grunt at each other like cavemen

This ship is sinking fast......

Troll maybe?

You will be quite lucky to find one with a thai mother and chinese father here in HK who speaks thai. And there are plenty here.

[Neeranam]

QUOTE(paulsmithson @ 2006-12-08 01:05:57)

Have been in contact with her former social services care assistant -

She told me that ALL THAI WOMEN ARE PROSTITUTES. <deleted>!!!!!!!!

Luckily I wasn't standing in front of this social services care assistant

She would be laying on the floor

Maybe she saw A (working as a what?) when she was holidaying in Pattaya.

I don't believe a social worker would say that.

Not only was A screwing Englishmen in pattaya, she's also trying to screw them in England.

Edited December 8, 2006 by Neeranam

[StateSix]

Latest update on A. took her to the Jobcentre today. She does want to work and now at least she will have access to some money whilst she is looking for work.

Have been in contact with her former social services care assistant -

She told me that ALL THAI WOMEN ARE PROSTITUTES. <deleted>!!!!!!!! She said that she had visited Thailand and been to Pattaya and so is now an expert oon Thai culture eh?

contacted the local council and found out that she owes thousands in rates for her former restaurant premises plus rent for the time she and her son were living in so called sheltered accommodation.

A tells me that the same woman who told me that all thai women are prostitutes was the person who helped fill in A's forms for benefits claims. Next step is to get her benefit history from the government and find out what was claimed and not claimed and when

Obviously A was entitled to more than she received here.

The so called social worker calling all Thai women prostitutes leads me to wonder what went on there, and could have some very interesting consequences for that woman too.

Thanks to all the guys who think this is troll and simply seek to pick holes in the tale.My wife and I are working our <deleted> off here trying to help this lost soul.

Her Thai son was 6 years old when he camt to the UK and has forgotten most of his own language-He has llived as an Engish lad and adapted to life here. He worries about his mother.

He is now in care and may have a future thanks to the social workers.

The benefits system here simply seems to have failed this woman.the start of this post may reveal why ultimately. If what I now suspect happened has actually been the case I will ensure that this particular social worker is soon out of a job.

The girl herslf seems to have no hard feelings against her former farang husband and I am certainly not gunning for him at all. He never thought his marriage would go wrong when he married this woman.

All I am saying is that marriage is not to be entered into lightly as being a temporary state and that when things go wrong the consequences can be very terrible for any man or woman. they are usually far worse for a woman in a country thousands of miles from family and friends especially if they do neither speak the host country's language well and are not too bright( we are not all equal but we are all human)

Having dealt with social services in my previous career, I found the organisation extremely politically correct and anyone making comments like you allege would be out of a job immediately. Why would she say to a complete stranger that all Thai women are prostitutes, knowing the consequences? If she is making comments like this to strangers then her colleagues would be fully aware of her views and she would be reported. I would accept that she failed in her duties due to incompetence, or due to overwork, but not to racism.

She owes thousands in rates for her previous restaurant premises? How long was the restaurant open for then?

Her son was 6 when he came to the UK and she left her husband 5 years later, making the son 11 years old. You said she then set up the restaurant which failed, leaving her with a 10 year old son How can this be, unless the restaurant failed immediately. You cannot just buy a shop and start a restaurant, there are all sorts of rules and regulations involved. How did she manage this if she is not intelligent and doesnt speak English?

As other people have asked, how can her son not speak Thai, when that is the language his mother speaks? How have they communicated over the years?

It is questions like these that make us "pick holes" in your tale, as unfortunately you get lots of people posting stupid topics on here and people get a little cynical, especially when you only have 25 posts.

Finally stop preaching. Why do you feel the need to tell us that marriage is not to be entered into lightly blah blah blah? Do you think we are stupid? And if we were that stupid, do you really think we would listen to you?

Now to be constructive. Take the social workers name and make a formal, written complaint, and ask for a new case worker to be assigned to the case. Allegations of racism generally get senior managers very nervous and ensure that cases are handled correctly.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

I don't believe a social worker would say that.

Nor do I