wreckingcountry Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Typical attitude of some or many folk today particularly in a very materialistic Thailand. The value of a gift is more important than the thought!Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon43 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 IMHO, the world would be a much happier place without Facebook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arrowsdawdle Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 200 baht is an insult, end of story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarryP Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Its a bloody money spinner. I can't remember how many times I have received invitations from people in the office I barely know, and in some cases have never spoken to. Many of them are looking to make a profit from all the invitations handed out, or at least cover costs for the reception. I used to put money in all the envelopes and pass them on to someone who was going to the weddings to hand over for me. Now I only do that if I really know the people and am unable to attend. The rest are thrown in the bin. I am sure that at many of these events, they are hoping not everyone invited will turn up. There would not be enough tables to accommodate them all. It is the envelope that counts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LannaGuy Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 (edited) 1 hour ago, robblok said: If you say so.. I really would have thought you to be the more considerate type given your views. Personally I take into account people's finances and don't see a wedding as something I have to make money from. When I invite people for a birthday celebration I don't count on getting my money that i spend on food and alcohol back, did not expect that back in the Netherlands don't expect it here. I invite people because i like them not because how much they can contribute. that's true please see my later post where i make it clear (post 54) I find it utterly impolite and crass for them to have done that but... I think it's almost insulting to put 200 baht unless it's genuine hardship and a village wedding (as I made clear in a later post) but a city wedding with all the trappings? 200 baht? but yes your point is valid too Edited January 31, 2017 by LannaGuy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sphere Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Where a man is murdered over a 20 baht lunch, 200 baht does go a long way.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maewang99 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 (edited) 200 Baht is plenty. no shame in that at all. maybe there were drinks involved? the stuff made with some kind of malt sludge and yellow coloring in a bottle that is fancier that the "beer" inside.... yeah that can get expensive. but maybe these folks just ate some food and enjoyed the company. 200 baht should be plenty even in Bangkok. Edited January 31, 2017 by maewang99 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 31 minutes ago, LannaGuy said: that's true please see my later post where i make it clear (post 54) I find it utterly impolite and crass for them to have done that but... I think it's almost insulting to put 200 baht unless it's genuine hardship and a village wedding (as I made clear in a later post) but a city wedding with all the trappings? 200 baht? but yes your point is valid too Then we are on the same page, just did not think you to be inconsiderate like that about those who have less then you. Sorry that I did not read your other post. I am assuming general hardship here.. but who knows. Anyway I never really care much how much is returned to me, especially for those less fortunate. Of course if they are taking advantage of me its a different story. But you get pretty good at sorting those who genuinely like you or those taking advantage of you after a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonmarleesco Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 I was under the impression the envelopes were anonymous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonmarleesco Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 1 hour ago, arrowsdawdle said: 200 baht is an insult, end of story. And returning it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonmarleesco Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 2 hours ago, Canceraid said: I make it a point to not attend weddings, birthdays, anniversaries etc of any thais except that of immediate family. I try to have as little thai and farang friends as possible in thailand except business clients etc. But when it comes to having Asian friends from Singapore, Malaysia, Taiwan, China, India, Indonesia, Vietnam....I have tons of them and love attending their functions or inviting them to mine as they know how to reciprocate hospitality and are not stingy or calculative contrary to the misconceptions of many lower strata farangs. I'll bear that in mind next time I receive an invitation from you to something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baerboxer Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 (edited) 16 hours ago, Thaiwrath said: I'd reply saying 'don't bother returning it, you ungrateful b*st*rd, stick it up your ar*e'. Never liked the 'named envelope' thing at weddings here, all about face again. Yep. At our wedding they even had a table set up with several people keeping a list of who gave what, whether presents or cash. Wifey said it was so we could be sure to thank them - yeah, right. Another strange phenomenon I noticed that when one friend married someone his mum disliked, accused of being a gold digger and way lower class, we were all encouraged to be less generous. And she also skimped on the reception meals - quite deliberately. Edited January 31, 2017 by Baerboxer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khon Kaen Dave Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 The Groom will regret sending it back,when he's looking for a few baht to buy some loa koa and a packet of krong thip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Get Real Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Let´s just hope that they at least got so small money in total so the costs was damaging. A proper sentence! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panda13 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 To be honest it was a great wedding and a lovely couple and I thought it was worth it having known them, 2 kids already and 4 years later it's over. The other wedding I blew a wad was my sisters but that lads got no chance of unshackling and I feel for the lad but what can you do. Family!Blowing your wad at a wedding, has a totally different meaning in some countries. just sayin.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psyvolt Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 This has been doing the rounds on the internet for years, but always different nationalities but same wording and shock horror bitchy reply. Have no idea why it keeps getting reincarnated year after year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khon Kaen Dave Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 As Panda 13 said.Blowing your wad at a wedding,especially in public,is an offence. Punishable by law. As in the days of Andy Pandy,and Sooty and Sweep.Muffin the Mule was a sexual offence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberfarang Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 1 hour ago, GarryP said: Its a bloody money spinner. I can't remember how many times I have received invitations from people in the office I barely know, and in some cases have never spoken to. Many of them are looking to make a profit from all the invitations handed out, or at least cover costs for the reception. I used to put money in all the envelopes and pass them on to someone who was going to the weddings to hand over for me. Now I only do that if I really know the people and am unable to attend. The rest are thrown in the bin. I am sure that at many of these events, they are hoping not everyone invited will turn up. There would not be enough tables to accommodate them all. It is the envelope that counts. Back in the past when I had been struggling a bit with my finances and friends had invited me to join them for an evening out to have some drinks in a pub or a meal at a restaurant, I would make my excuses and not go rather then expect my evening out to be subsidized by others. It`s the same if invited to a wedding. In most cultures everyone knows it is customary for guests to give either money or presents to the bride and groom. If people begrudge giving or at a time what we used to call being financially embarrassed, unless they are close family, should also make their excuses and not go, otherwise these people will just be perceived as being there poncing someone else`s free food and drink. Keeping up with the Jones, being able to maintain either higher or on the same level status as so called friends to stay welcome in their circles is the sad truth of the ways of the world. From my experiences, many people will give generously providing those they give to don`t really need it, but fall down on your luck and become a genuine charity case, then see just have fast you will overstay your welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberfarang Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 1 minute ago, cyberfarang said: Back in the past when I had been struggling a bit with my finances and friends had invited me to join them for an evening out to have some drinks in a pub or a meal at a restaurant, I would make my excuses and not go rather then expect my evening out to be subsidized by others. It`s the same if invited to a wedding. In most cultures everyone knows it is customary for guests to give either money or presents to the bride and groom. If people begrudge giving or at a time what we used to call being financially embarrassed, unless they are close family, should also make their excuses and not go, otherwise these people will just be perceived as being there poncing someone else`s free food and drink. Keeping up with the Jones, being able to maintain either higher or on the same level status as so called friends to stay welcome in their circles is the sad truth of the ways of the world. From my experiences, many people will give generously providing those they give to don`t really need it, but fall down on your luck and become a genuine charity case, then see just how fast you will overstay your welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KMartinHandyman Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 My mil keeps a ledger book going back years noting every person in the village and what they have given or been given. She invited those who had been given the most first to our wedding so she could recover the money she had given them.I guess you win when your friends die before you have to pay back in kind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Camelot Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Funeral donations in envelopes have also suffered from inflation. The traditional 500 baht note has now become the traditional 1000. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dick dasterdly Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 1 hour ago, psyvolt said: This has been doing the rounds on the internet for years, but always different nationalities but same wording and shock horror bitchy reply. Have no idea why it keeps getting reincarnated year after year. You're saying its an 'urban legend'? First time I've heard this story, so unlikely to be a well-known urban legend. When I married (decades ago) we were young and 'broke', as were our friends. Consequently, we appreciated all the small gifts received (apart from the cookery book, from a friend that should have known better !) and were even more appreciative of those whose gift consisted of helping in various ways -baking a wedding cake/arranging for the rugby club to allow us to use their club house FOC for the reception/providing food for the buffet etc. etc. We were a bit taken aback by a relative that gave us a fairly large sum of actual cash rather than a small gift - and I find it horrifying that anyone would not only ask for money, but also want them to identify themselves on the envelope so that they can identify who didn't give them 'enough' . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retiredandhappyhere Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 17 hours ago, LannaGuy said: be fair 200 baht is an insult... $6 for a wedding gift? eating food, drinking? I can understand that if i invited a guest and they gave 4 GBP I'd be PISSED OK, but in the UK a gift of only 4 pounds would represent about 50% of the minimum wage FOR ONE HOUR and could possibly be regarded as insulting, whereas a gift of 200 baht in Thailand represents 67% of ONE DAY'S wage for many people. The bride's action was unnecessary and insulting and suggests something unfavourable about her character. The gift probably was not insulting at all, depending on the giver's financial circumstances. Like this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dark Lord Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 3 hours ago, Khon Kaen Dave said: As Panda 13 said.Blowing your wad at a wedding,especially in public,is an offence. Punishable by law. As in the days of Andy Pandy,and Sooty and Sweep.Muffin the Mule was a sexual offence. Only if you got caught. Then there was the masterstroke (sic) of Captain Pugwash. Master Bates, Roger the Cabin Boy, Seaman Staines oh how life was so much fun in our innocence or was it before he PC Police went to town? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dark Lord Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 2 hours ago, cyberfarang said: Been there, seen the video, read the book and got the tee shirt. Never a truer word spoken my friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khon Kaen Dave Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 The Dark Lord (or he who must not be named) I remember Cap Pug,it was great,there were still people who watched it and never made the connection.Very much like the Radio prog,'beyond our Ken.' Williams and Paddick were using Gay palaver some 50 years ago "it's bijou to varder yer eek' and 'Homie's and palones' and it was only understood by the gay guys of the latter day. I think that is the trick,to use language that is only understood by a small few. Its rather like the Devil's greatest trick.Making us believe that he never existed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zakk9 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 In Thai rural tradition, in addition to paying for the party, the money gifts are also meant as a start help for the newlywed. Many places, the name of the giver is written on the envelope and there are protocols in each family with lists of who gave how much, so that the favour can be returned when there's a wedding in the other family. The system is more of a local financing scheme than really gifts, and it works rather well among locals. When added to the dowry, the money can sometimes be enough for a small house, or a car, which is often the case nowadays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluespunk Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 3 hours ago, The Dark Lord said: Only if you got caught. Then there was the masterstroke (sic) of Captain Pugwash. Master Bates, Roger the Cabin Boy, Seaman Staines oh how life was so much fun in our innocence or was it before he PC Police went to town? Urban legend i'm afraid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericthai Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 On 1/30/2017 at 8:41 AM, LannaGuy said: be fair 200 baht is an insult... $6 for a wedding gift? eating food, drinking? I can understand that if i invited a guest and they gave 4 GBP I'd be PISSED Big difference between the UK and Thailand. 200B is almost a days pay.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveAustin Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 A simple retort by the lady should have been, 'that's all I think you're worth'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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